Black Dogs 28

Have a lovely lovely late lunch, Scaredycat
Bella is a Lagotto Romagnolo who has just had a little trim. Yes, I drew that as an inpatient in 2006, but I think it applies to all who wish to be "held" in this way.

Yes - I didnt want to talk much on the beach, just be there. 🙂

The symptoms of rapid cycling bi polar are strong mentally and physically and I remain resentful and angry with those who took away my good health physically and damaged it mentally when I was on a good road and hoped to further reduce my meds, see my family more and help out, go out for cycle rides and so on, so many plans. But yes I do know whats going on now.

Sweetpeasue - poor confused Aunt, those phone calls must have been painful to deal with - what could you say?
I'm glad you were called upon by Son 2 - good luck with orchid care!

I had ususal WhatsApp chats. It was DS's birthday today as well so he got the lie in extra snooze morning and DiL will get hers next Sunday.

Apologies all I posted about the flying fox on the wrong thread.
It was someone talking about them in a children’s playground but it was the name given to a zip wire, I’d not heard it before.
Had a lovely day today. Church was nice and I was given a pot of daffodils. Popped in to se DS1 and got a nice plant and some chocs. Had a lovely roast with DS2 and more chocks and wine.
Come home and very sleepy now. Good I don’t have to get up early in the morning.
Wyllow living with these highs and lows much at be difficult. Steven Fry said that given the chance he would rather stay bi polar because the highs were so good. I get very low at times not a state I’d choose to be in if I had a choice. Hope you’re having a lovely time with your family.
HVDY sounds like you had a good chat with your brother.
Did you see your sons today? Lucky for me mine live close to each other so I could visit both this afternoon.
Scaredycat yes your family has multi generational mums. That’s lovely. Nice you got to se e your DD. I had a nice time with our sons and families . Lovely roast with DS2. I appreciate it more now I’m on my own because it don’t bother cooking much for just me.
Sweetpeasue good you had cards from your sons and got to see ne of them. Hope you get a call to the cardiac nurse tomorrow and I hope it’s someone who is helpful.
Ellie Anne hope your day has been ok. You too nadateturbe

ScaredyCat I hope you had a lovely day yesterday. Did your daughter cook the lunch? Yes, there are a lot of mothers in your family. I hope they all had a nice day.

SweetpeaSue Nice that you saw your son. Orchids are beautiful, aren't they? I've got one on the landing, from my sons, years ago. I must remember to water it. Glad your other son rang you. My friend's son never sends a Christmas, birthday or Mother's Day card to her, and it must hurt. Your poor aunt is very confused, isn't she? It's so difficult to witness the rapid decline of a loved one.

Wyllow3 What a lovely drawing, quite touching. You understand your moods. I hope you'll have many more highs than those awful lows. The change of scenery and being with family must surely help. My brother needs to be with others, but can't/won't put himself out to meet anyone (always been like it). Nice that you heard from your son. My Son2 and DIL take it in turns to have a lie-in like that.

Doodle That was a lovely day you had. Flowers, chocolates, roast dinner. My Son2 and LG came on Saturday, with presents and cards. Son1 and DIL visited on Mother's Day, with a framed photo of Son1 and his 2 girls, and a cat-shaped ornament which has a tealight in. DH ad I went for a couple of drinks with them, and then DH cooked him and me a roast beef dinner.

SweetpeaSue Hope you get through to someone today.
EllieAnne and * nadateturbe* Hope you're both ok.

Not got LG today - they're off out, so we'll have her tomorrow. Got a UTI, so will ring GP at 8. Lung Consultant ringing me this afternoon, with result f my CT and lung function tests. Aren't we lucky we don't have to pay for all this! Hope everyone has a decent day x

That was a nice day, Doodle, full of daffs and chocs and love. You are well chocolated up. I like being given plants more than flowers really, tho daffs and sunflowers always welcome, simple, bright.

Stephen Fry was bi-polar 1. I don't know how he managed - except some very loving friends arounds him - who about 4 times in his life saved him when he was psychotically manic - and - well - having money helps, but he had been a wonderful advocate for the condition, except when I have to try and explain Bi polar 2 that doesnt get the highs that Fry wanted to hang onto!

Last night was truly horrible depression wise after 2 better nights. I think coming back to Mr Roofer and Mr Pebbedash and managing jobs done, and the remnants of MrA, as well as my MH state, hung heavy:

OTOH, I do want to come home, it's been just the right length and we have had some good times.

And, I need to go to the GP for my again infected eye, its so bad its distorted at one side and has been awhile..

two things - I need a different anti b, the first one strung
second thing - I have to stop vaping - its an irritant.

What are you up to today, HVDY? Are you having to chase a GP, or got an LG day?

Wyllow3 Anything in particular set that depression off last night? Or a combination of things? Could a Pharmacist give you something for your eye? No LG - she'll be here tomorrow. Got through to the surgery and they told me I need to see someone (but there were no free appointments today, so that was pointless). I'm waiting for the Respiratory Consultant to ring me at 4. Chatted with 2 different friends on the 'phone, not done much today.

Lung Consultant just rang - I've got nothing more than mild, occasional Asthma. Some inflammation in my lungs, due to having Vasculitis. Great news. The nurse at our surgery had previously put COPD on my notes, and one of the GPs had said Pulmonary Fibrosis! Glad to have nothing much wrong with me.

Doodle Glad you had such a lovely day yesterday. Nice to see both your sons and what super presents.
HVDY So glad you have managed to get the right diagnosis. It causes so much delay and confusion when Drs get it wrong. Hope my Orchid lasts as well as your own.
Wyllow Pleased youve had such a nice time at your sister's . Sorry about your depression though. I dare say it could be having to face the things youve had a break from but I do hope it wont last too long. Your eye must be very uncomfortable- didnt know the vaping might cause it.

My DDILs .mum passed away peacefully in the early hrs. Its going to be a very tough time for them.
DH needs to see GP ( cardiac nurse was just for the rehabilitation exercise program which DH didnt take up).
Feeling overwhelmed with the sadness and illness problems.

Wishing a peaceful night for all here and those not personally mentioned.

That is good news HVDY must be a relief. What will you have for the inflammation? Have a lovely time with LG tomorrow. Yes I enjoyed seeing our sons.
Wyllow sorry about the depression. Hard to shift when those thoughts start. I’ve not had a good day. Been very gloomy all day. Saw a picture of DH this afternoon sitting smiling at me and that set the tears flowing.
Sorry I didn’t know there was a different kind of bi polar. Must be so hard to cope with. I do hope you can get to feel better soon and things will settle down.
Sweetpeasue I love orchids. I had one for several years that one of our sons got for me. Important not to overwater or get any water in the crown. That’s how I killed the last one off. I didn’t know about water in the crown.
Scaredycat and Ellie Anne hope your day has been ok

SweetpeaSue Sad about your DIL's mum, but probably a blessing as she was so ill. Yes, things will be tough for them for a while (we all have to lose our mums and it's hard, isn't it?) Will your husband be able to get a GP appointment soon? Hope you have a restful night x

Doodle I wasn't worried as the symptoms I'd had all went when a different GP prescribed a different inhaler (I'd been telling GPs and that particular nurse I was Asthmatic - the nurse had refuted that, although I'd been diagnosed 30 years ago). Nothing about the inflammation - the Rheumatologist and Neurologist I'd been under both discharged me. I'd previously had steroid tablets (12 weeks) for Vasculitis, but the side-effects were so terrible, I'd never have them again. Glad you had a nice Mother's Day, but I expect you're missing our husband today.

My 'phone has been like the hotline today! 3 different friends rang, and I rang my brother as well. I've done a LOT of talking . Love to all x

Doodle Oh Im sorry for your awfully sad day . You must feel like the longing for your DH is so profound at such times . Hugs. Thankyou for the tips about Orchids- will bear that in.mind.
HVDY Wish some Drs and nurses would actually listen to the patient.
The GP that we want will be on Thursday so well need to ring early and hope we get appt. Doubt it'll be F2F though.

Hi all
Wyllow- your plans can still materialise but bit by bit between resting and just being. You can get back on that good road- you,ve just had a very unwelcome detour caused by unthinking and ignorant people.
Very reassuring words from you about coming home. Look forward to the next time you can visit your family.it was just what you needed . It sounds lovely at your sisters.
Cutting down the vaping would be a good idea if you do it gradually.should help your eyes. Thank you it was a lovely time with DD and SiL and cats.
Doodle- your day sounded lovely - so glad for you. Good supply of chocs too!!
We also had a roast and apple crumble and custard. DD doesn’t enjoy cooking but it was delicious and we could hardly move afterwards.
I had a nice card from my Stepdaughter and a weird thing happened. I texted her to say thank you and at that exact moment 3.02pm she texted me too- it was spooky.
HVDY - yes DD cooked a roast and it was lovely. The cats watched us eat as only cats can!!
One of my DD cats loves to wear a hat so I took him a present
from The Range. Will try and post a pic at the end of this.
What nice gifts you got- the tea light holder sounds sweet.
How nice of DH to cook a roast- brownie points there.
Really good news from the lung consultant. Hope the UTI isn’t too uncomfortable and you get the Doc tomorrow.
Have a nice day with LG.
SweetPeaSue- so sorry to hear the news about DDiLs Mum. Poor lady.
Hope DH gets to see GP. I understand the overwhelmed feelingI feel,exactly the same . Been to see my friend this afternoon and it’s beyond sad.
Love to allxx
.

Don’t I look handsome!!

Sweetpeasue I'm so sorry for your families loss: yes, it must indeed feel like a dark vale to walk through. Stay together. xx I'm hoping you get through on Thursday. xx

One happy and stylish cat, Scaredycat. It's so hard when you can't do anything to "make your friend better" but go through it with her. That counts. I hope you can now move after the meal. I'm not one much for sweet things but crumbles hit the spot.

That must have been a huge relief, HVDY, and I'm very glad to hear it. Great natters there!

Warmest and a big hug, Doodle, for your very sad day.

As people have suggested, yes, let night's bad depressive episode was because of what awaits: on the other hand, I was ready to come home - my familar things, but also physical health stuff been avoiding.

Eyes now have pus: I have discovered some huge lumps on the very back of my tongue, and a very long standing and very unpleasant TMI smell issue that tested negative last time but hasn't gone away. One eye has been slightly distorted for over a week, I've been ostritching.

There is some evidence they can be linked - but overall. as per my infection that sent me to hospital in January, its long term overwhelming stress, immune system down. Stress induced.

I came home to an email that Safeguarding sent - they have instituted a pretty heavy duty regime on MrA (as in no hugs for any women at all, etc etc). What would help me greatly now is to know - has he really accepted how serious the lies were etc. t clearly Safeguarding's last move to him, but I'd just like a chat with them, a reassuring chat, not just leave it, so I shall mail them.

Basically the vaping can be affecting all three conditions (well, depending on what the tongue lumps are, but the other two) - makes it all worse both bacteria/and dry eyes wise - I really have to actually stop, but the eyes come first when it comes to them having pus.

DS sent a funny and loving mums day card, I've only just got it.
He's a big cat fan, and one of his two cats brings home a headless victim nearly every day.

Remonstrating has no effect....

Here it is…

ScaredyCat Oh, he looks adorable . What a lovely boy. I once had a friend with a Siamese cat, and she used to dress him up. He even had a doll's bed to sleep in. Jaffa didn't mind us having beef without him on Sunday - he had chicken instead.

Wyllow3 Your eyes don't sound good at all. Would a chemist be able to help until you can get to see a GP? I wonder what a person can take to boost the immune system? I'd like to find out, as mine isn't good, with having an autoimmune condition (Vasculitis). Love the Mother's Day card .

LG will be here a bit later, at about 9. We'll find somewhere to go. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

ScaredyCat His name was Basil. They lived in a flat, so she used to take him out in the car to various parks, on a harness.

Oh my goodness, that's one stylish cat! There's certainly lots of cat themes in that picture.

It's a lovely day here sun, mild. It should be nice to take LG out in it. (Boosting the immune system - proper diet, supplements, fresh air, enough exercise, cut down on stress - all the ususal.

I rung GP on the dot (then you wait back for a same day text/call) It seemed to be taking a long time - you usually get a quick one back for an AM appointment for an infection and have to rush there...

...anyway then I got a text from my gardener "on my way"

I'd clean forgot...I was dressed for the gym..She has to come some way so I nipped out to the cashpoint and back and got home in time, and got texted a good double 4pm appointment.
Gardener is a lovely warm down to earth strong, chunky, in her 40's and never fails to make me feel better.

Also I emailed the Safeguarding Lady. Asked for a Zoom for closure: stuff he been decided for MrA, but me left hanging in some ways before I can move on. Will be angry/depressed if she says no given how late they were on the scene and it took a nudge from HQ but had to ask.

Wyllow3 He had a few knitted outfits, and a huge exercise wheel in the living room. His owner trained him to use the toilet in the bathroom! A lot of faffing but it can be achieved with cats (I've never tried it). Re my immune system....thanks for all that. I wonder what to do, to be honest, as my immune system is knackered - my cells attack my body. At least that's what appears to happen with an autoimmune condition. The consultants I was under didn't give me any information or help whatsoever, not even a leaflet, so I've had to try to find things out myself. You had a bit of a rush on to get some cash and get back for your gardening lady. Glad you've got an appointment. Hope you get sorted out OK.

LG hasn't been..DIL rang 15 minutes before she was due to arrive, to say LG had vomited "all down herself" and in the car, so she stayed at home. DH and I went to a park, then watched a drama on TV.

Sorted with some meds so cross fingers.

You can only do your best with that tough card to be played, HVDY. I hope you enjoyed the sun out, sorry about LG.

I did a shop - frustrating to spend a sunny after noon anywhere else but out in my fave high place, just being there sitting, will seize the next one.

Sweetpeasue I’m so sorry about your DIls mum. Hard for the children too. My condolences. Hope your Dh gets that GP appointment.
HVDY sometimes it goes like that with phone calls, everyone seems to ring at once, I miss DH all the time. I think about him all the time. Whatever im doing, part of my brain it’s thinking of him. In many ways it’s like I’m living in my mind with him whilst doing other things to get through the day. On Thursday 59 years ago we went on our first date. It’s the same date our son was born.
Oh dear, your friends cat doesn’t look amused at his outfit.
Just read about LG. Poor darling I hope she’s ok
Scaredycat sounds like you had a lovely day with roast and crumble. Sounds delicious. I love the photo. Hat suits him 🤣
Wyllow you sound a bit run down with various little ailments. I think a visit to the GP is in order. Glad Me A has been told to keep his hands to himself etc. Hope you get th chat you want
Been out helping a friend tidy her house all day today, only got back a while ago so very tired now. Sorry I can’t write more

Well done with that friend, Doodle. I bet she was so pleased. Two pairs of hands seem to get so much more done.

Your life has been so different from mine, just one beloved and constant "other" grown up that way, grown older that way, and particularly close too. I can imagine it as I know enough about loss and longing, but have not lived it... xx

Wyllow3 Hope those meds work well, soon.

Doodle 59 years! A lifetime. It's no wonder you miss your husband so much. I can't begin to imagine it. Selfishly, I hope I'm not the one left alone.

I looked at the bedroom clock, thought it said 8.15, so got up and did my usual things - fed Jaffa and the squirrels, put the washer on - and realised it was 6,15 . Ah well. x

I did some time on the exercise bike last night so its not only wasted...

How are other BD's doing? I hope to get to the gym just for a bit as its been over a week now.

Money wasted not only wasted.