Black Dogs 28

Wyllow I can understand you being concerned about that particular eye. Its almost certain to be benign but it doesnt stop the what ifs. I had a lump on the side of my tongue and was sent to consultant quickly. It felt certain to me it was serious. I had it cut out ( I know!) a d was so relieved when consultant told me it was benign in follow up appt.
The hair loss is so frightening too and its underestimated by those who dont have it. Hope there is a reason for it that can be sorted.
You made me smile about the 'just as well' about having a wild cottage garden. I like all the modest flowers too.
EllieAnne Oh dear , sorry about your DD getting a bit upset . You cant do wrong from right at present. I totally get why you didnt say anything about your husband's fall. Dont beat yourself up about it. I bet it'll blow over soon.( Im with your DGD with the chocolate eclairs).
HVDY What a feast you laid on for your family. They must love coming to yours. You have such a close family. Your fox will probably not be able to move after that lot.
Cousin seeing social services tomorrow for review about aunt.

Hope everyone has been OK today.
Been cold here. Had blood tests then was so very tired had to sleep. Son and DIL away for couple of nights at Lakes.

Let's take a magic carpet to the lakes for a sunny day...sigh..which one would you choose? (I used to go all the time when I lived in Manchester)

I really hope the review with DD for Aunt goes well.

I've had some cheek cut out, it was done so well that you can hardly see it.

I'm pretty certain the hair loss is a result of the stress - since it only happened since the assault and difficulties with fellow Quakers. So it's reversible if so. It's not the meds, since I have been on the same ones for years. Thyroid will be a yes or no soon when the tests come back..it would also explain my levels of fatigue, but pretty sure it's stress.

Somewhat unwillingly, I've just sent a message to QuakerD (the one who went and told me I hadn't been assaulted)

because she deemed it necessary to correct me in front of all others on calling a little group next Sunday a "discussion" where all had a chance to say there bit etc etc.

I had been already told by another senior Quaker to call it that!

"It's not a discussion" she says so I went and politely agreed and she gave me a thumbs up. So Patronising.

She acts as if I constantly need keeping in check and might do or say something transgressive.

We are having a coffee next week for repair work between us, but thats after Sunday's meeting.

Anyway tomorrow night I have a last Zoom with the Safeguarding officer which is dubbed a "closure meeting". What I want to sort of know most of all is - is MrA finally really really aware, takes on board, the damage he wreaked on me?
For goodness sake - I've run MH groups, assertiveness training, when I was a community Education Officer and subsequently....😡

That got muddled up, like my brain, sorry. the

"For goodness sake - I've run MH groups, assertiveness training, when I was a community Education Officer and subsequently....😡 belongs to QuakerD.

Sorry all. Can’t post tonight. I have dreadful hayfever and feel really rough. Off to bed. Hope all are ok

Sorry to hear that, Doodle, hope tomorrow is better.

I have my psychologist tomorrow morning, good timing.

EllieAnne That meal your GD chose sounded good. Don't worry about your daughter telling you off - if your GD wasn't injured, or had a concussion, there was nothing to report. Our adult children forget that we managed successfully to raise them.

Wyllow What/who makes you think you might have something cancerous in/on your eye?

I typed a long post yesterday, but for some reason, it wouldn't send.

EllieAnne Sorry, I completely misunderstood. Of course, you said your husband's fall. Yes, my sons would have told me off about that, too. How is he now?

SweetpeaSue I'm glad something is being done about your aunt, and I hope things move along swiftly.

Doodle Hope you have a better day today. Hay Fever is so uncomfortable.

Wyllow3 The psychologist's appointment will be a good opportunity for you to get things off your chest. Does she advise you on anything, or does she listen without comment?

Nice day with LG yesterday - playgroup Easter party, then duck feeding in the afternoon. DH and I are going out for a curry at lunchtime, in the city centre (a rare thing for us to venture there), then babysitting LG at Son2's house. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Hi all

I,ve woken up this morning with a stinking cold😩 I,m devasted because I was taking my friend to hospital this morning as she has had her immunotherapy delayed because she is suffering bad peripheral neuropathy. That is one of the bad side effects of chemo . Iwas going in with her too as she needed another set of ears. So sad she needs her DH but as you know he is in end of life care. I couldn’t risk her catching the cold . Thank goodness her DiL could do it so I expect she had a lot of rearranging to do!! I haven’t had a cold for ages - hope it’s not one of the nasty ones going around.
Sorry about the hayfever Doodle it’s all the Spring blossom perhaps?
Enjoy your curry HVDY - it,ll be nice to be in town again.
Wyllow hope the psychologist meeting helps you and you have time afterwards to do something nice. So sorry you have the worry about your eye and hope you get seen very quickly.
I,m on that carpet- Wastwater for me.
Hope your cousins are able to come up with somewhere nice for your Aunt.
Don’t give yourself such a hard time EllieAnne Anne you can’t be held responsible for everything give yourself a break
Sorry this is a quick post I,m so tired so just going to rest.
Love to allxxxx

Wyllow Hope you find that the meeting with D after Quakers will smooth things between you . If the hair problem is thyroid related it might explain the fatigue too though of course stress can sometimes be a factor which means that the hair will regrow in future.
Dont think I could possibly chose which lake as they all have their own charms. I do find Tarn How's is peaceful though if you visit early or late in the day.
Doodle Aw you do sound quite poorly - I remember you were troubled greatly with Hay Fever last year. What do you use to help symptoms? Hope it has improved today.
HVDY Im sure youve had spirits lifted with LG today. Hope the curry was good.
Scaredycat That cold sounds a real stinker! Im sure yourf friend's DIL understands you couldn't go for the reasons you gave. Its best your friend doesnt have a cold to deal with too. You are being thoughtful to her and considerate.
I think Wastwater is the only lake Ive not been to. We must have missed out there.
Hope you feel better after a rest.

We went out for a Costa coffee this morning and porridge. Am hoping it will keep me from nibbling till t' time ( or di nner)
DH is very low today. Its difficult to keep each other's mood from sinking .

Hope everyone is ok.

Evening all
M still feeling poorly. Not gone out today and cancelled plans for lunch with my cousin. Not sure if it’s hayfever or cold but I feel very heady and have a sore throat.
Sweetpeasue yes I have hayfever every year. Usually take antihistamine tablets, nose spray and eye drops. Sorry you and your Dh are feeling low. Is your Dh still having the chest pain? Perhaps after you’ve had the cardiology appointment you could book a holiday somewhere.
Oh Scaredycat I do sympathise. I’m sure your friend understands and you’re wise no to get close to her. Good her DIL can step in. Can’t imagine how the poor lady feels going through this while her husband is in end of life care. Hope you feel better soon.
Wyllow well I hope your meeting with D goes ok but I do think you’re in different wavelengths. She may just be one of those people you can’t make headway with. It’s good you managed to stay calm and not snap back. Hope you got on well with the psychologist.
HVDY hope you enjoyed your curry. What is your city centre? Sorry I should remember where you live but it’s gone from my mind. Our local town is nothing but closed shops and cafes now. So sad, it used to be a lovely place to visit. I now go to Windsor or Bracknell for shopping but Windsor is always so busy with tourists the pavements are chaotic

EllieAnne how is your Dh now is he ok. Hope you’ve had a better day.

Doodle Sorry you are no better today. You will miss socialising with friends but it sounds like you really need to rest and get over whatever it is . Having a sore throat and headache sounds like a cold virus but having the hay fever aswell must be a nasty double whammy.
Yes, DH had to take the spray yesterday though not today so far. He is still having the awful pain in his shoulders and down one arm into his hand. We're thinking its nerve damage from the Subclavian Steal that wasnt sorted out quickly enough. The Vascular Surgeon said that might be the case. DH has appt with him mid-April.
Take care of yourself .Warm hug x

Dh seems to be ok now.
I’m just so tired. The past week has been really busy and stressful and now I would like time and space to potter about and have a rest but not possible to relax here. The only place I feel relaxed is in bed but don’t like going too early.
And have run out of whisky but will shop tomorrow.
Those few spring like days weee good. Did a wee bit in the garden. But back to winter now.
I hope it’s warmer down south.

HVDY I went to an enhanced optician, one of those funded by the NHS by GP referral - it's called a PEARS referral - because of poor eye health.

One thing they do that opticians do not is take detailed enhanced photo graphs of the eye from all angles - it was clearly huge and visible on a screen, the level of detail.

There was a variegated brown patch on the white bit which gave her cause for concern, as in, she did not now if it was benign or pre-cancerous, or a tumour. The odds are it is benign, by and large, but still has to be checked out.

I have to chase it a bit, its gone through to the local department on Saturday, but no copies to me or my GP, so I need to find out to where, to whom, and get a copy to my GP should I need their intervention. So I don't know if its a 2 week referral or whatever till I get hold of the document.

The Psychologist, now she has known me since 2021, does give advice as in we talk it through and if I am struggling gives straightforward advice.

I hope the city centre has delivered a great curry - do you always like the same, what did you have, I had Saag Paneer tonight.

Tarn Howe is lovely, Sweetpeasue. I love them all, but Wastwater is so dramatic and rather inaccessible, it's less well visited, I stayed there once.
I'm sorry DH was so down... it's bound to hit him - the difference between before and now...and the pain..mid April must seem a long time away. How hard it is to accept to won't be the same again. So both of you are suffering and low at the moment. That must be really really hard
Did the diet Costa plan work?

I'm sorry you are down with hayfever Doodle, your usual and needed runs of church and friends not possible must be hard. How well do the tablets work for you?

Scaredycat you are right... I can't recall you having a heavy cold before...and of course you couldn't risk your friend, a phone call just isn't the same. Yes, I hope it is short lived and you can get back to the things you need to do.'

It was very cold here too, *Ellie Anne*: wishing for you and all of us warmth and sun, as it makes a big difference, but its likely to be Saturday and Sunday..so get that whisky and have to have "early nights". So did DH feed himself OK while you were away? (and cook for you one night)...

I did gym today which was good: I also had a Zoom with Safeguarding Officer, too tired to report on now or Quaker D stuff, nothing to happen quickly.

Scaffolding up tomorrow at the back of the house (and only the back thankfully, they are re pebble dashing the back right down tot he brickwork, and a physio as my meniscus knee not healing enough, need advice.

Busy time, which I don't like, but they are OK blokes, I'll just leave blinds and curtains closed, the only issue will be my usual afternoon sleep, and I have only one bed and its at the back.

ScaredyCat Can't remember you saying you had a cold or anything. You were right to stay away from your friend. Hope it goes soon and that you can get back to doing the things you enjoy.

Doodle There are lots of viruses around. Hope yours soon clears up. And the Hay Fever, too. I live a mile away from a town with all amenities, but our city centre is Nottingham. It's changed so much over the years, but it has some great restaurants and bars.

SweetpeaSue It must be difficult for your husband to accept that he can't do things he'd like to do. April seems a long way, but the next couple of weeks will soon come around. I hope he can manage the pain with painkillers until then.

EllieAnne It was very windy here yesterday, cold, too. Then it rained really heavily for a few hours last night.

Wyllow3 Thanks for that. I hope something is done about your eye very soon, and obviously, I hope it will be nothing untoward. I had Beef Nihari, my husband had Jaipur Lamb. Delicious, all washed down with a pint of lager.

Lovely babysitting with LG. We played with her train set, and she went to bed with no trouble at all, at 7.30. Parents had been to Sheffield to see the comedian Greg Davies, got home at 11.30. Lazy day today. Hope everyone has a decent day x

That was a lovely evening with LG. I adore those train sets. What a gift in your life for you, and of course she will always remember you as the gran who played with her and had a good time.

I've "persuaded" the opticians to send me and the GP the referrals today so now thats sorted and I can talk to my GP if vv anxious and hear nothing from the referral.

What I didnt add last night as off was enough, is that I had had what was supposedly the final closure call with nice Safeguarding lady. Basically - MrA has actually in his heart and attitude taken nothing - or very, very little on board. He's been "Acting" in order to hoop jump and come back.

She said so herself. What made it bearable to hear was that she has as they say, "got his number". Also - there is no barrier as far as she is concerned if I wish to share my experience with any other Quaker as to what happened.

I still wish he would disappear off the face of the earth as he is quite capable of doing the "poor me" bit, but today I've mailed the Safeguarding lady saying I fear that what can I do.

On the brighter side...I've actually after much talk and no action got my sewing machine set up and started at last sewing the alterations to charity clothes or very very reduced that I got in the last summer season. Some nice stuff there.

I haven't got thyroid problems, it's clearly the stress stuff, and only I can control my actions, but MH/psychologist are going to give me extra support for a while. (a bit more often). I also saw the physio and getting my knee better a bit more complicated exercise wise. He's given me an "Ap" for my mobile. I didnt want an Ap. I've got the exercises on paper of course but probably will give in as regards the Ap as some kind soul at the gym will help me with downloading and using it.

How have BD's been? what a day of weather -freezing snow one minute - bright sun the next - very very chilly indeed.

Wyllow very difficult situation with Mr A. Glad he hasn’t conned the safeguarding lady. I hope he doesn’t cause you any problems in the future.
Good news about your sewing machine. How clever to be able to alter things. I never could.
HVdY how silly of me. Of course you live near Nottingham. I remember you mentioning it before but I must have forgotten. I wonder if LG plans to grow up and be a train driver? I remember mine playing with train sets.
Ellie Anne I do wish you could find somewhere where you can have some peace from your worries. Some time to yourself at home. Could you have a summerhouse in the garden where you could go and sit?
Sweetpeasue nerve damage can be extremely painful and take a while to mend. DH had nerve damage in his elbow after a long operation where his arm was held in position with canulars and drips. It was so painful he couldn’t sleep with it.
Good you’re having a review with the vascular team. .
Scaredycat how are you feeling now.? I’ve had a better day but so doped up on antihistamine I need to go to bed soon.
Hope your friend managed her appointment ok with her DIl.
Been to church this morning which as nice. Been better today but now it’s evening time it’s getting worse. Sleep well all

My sympathies, and Doodle, when the day ends, and you are home alone xxx

No doodle we’ve not really got room for a summerhouse and with our weather I wouldn’t get enough use of it anyway. It’s a nice thought though. I have my own bedroom and would like a comfy chair for it but again there’s not really room. I just sit on the bed is sometimes on the floor against the radiator if I am cold.

Wyllow3 What a crafty old so and so MrA is. I'm glad the Safeguarding lady knows what he's like. Thank goodness you haven't got thyroid problems (I believe getting the meds level can be tricky). I don't like a lot of apps, but I'm sure there'll be someone at the gym who will help. Well done on the sewing. The weather here was very changeable yesterday - rain, sun, hail, wind, the lot.

Doodle Who knows what she'll be when she grows up - there are so many opportunities now for young people. Hope you can manage your Hay Fever ok today. Is it tree pollen? What are you like through spring and summer?

EllieAnne I hope you managed to buy some whisky and have a drink last night.

nadaturbe How are you?
ScaredyCat How are you feeling?

I had planned to see my niece and her mum (widow of brother 2), for lunch, but I don't feel well - headache, a cold, and have been awake since 5am. I'll lounge about today. Shame, as it's a bright blue sky with sunshine. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Hi all
HVDY- I still feel pants but better than yesterday thank you. Oh dear you don’t sound too good either - there are so many germs around aren’t there.. Yes it feels extra annoying to have a lovely day and not have the energy to go out the door😩
It’s a shame you,ve had to cancel your lunch but hopefully you can rearrange the date.
DD and I were going to do something today as the men are playing golf but no way does she need my germs wafting over her.
Hope you’re better soon.
Nadateturbe- thinking of you and hoping you,ve dodged all these germs!!
Wyllow- it must have been so peaceful to stay at Wastwater but it is a bit of a trek to get there. I just loved the wild,bleak and beautiful places when we went on our travels.
Bet you,ll be glad when the workmen have gone however nice they are. I find it really hard to relax when other people are working.
MrA is a piece of work but those that matter seem to have him sussed. His arrogance will be his downfall one day and I don’t think he,ll get away with things as easy as he thinks.
Glad you haven’t got Thyroid problems. My DH had thyroid cancer and lost his parathyroid glands too so his personal “heat ing system “ is not good.
Have the best day you can.
EllieAnne- It’s cold again here but the sun is lovely.
Hope you got the whiskey - boy do you earn it!,
I had a thought. Could you have a smaller bed so make room for a lovely comfy chair. I don’t like to think of you sitting on the floor to keep warm. What about a bean bag?
Doodle- Hayfever must be such a pain every year - maybe you have a cold as well right now. I,m glad you felt better enough yesterday to go out - did it help you sleep better.
My friend hasn’t been able to visit her DH often as she has felt so poorly . But they chat several times a day and she gets reports from friends who visit him and of course her DSs.
Our hometown is like yours. It’s almost unrecognisable as the dear little county town it was when I first came here.
Do hope you feel better today.
SweetPeaSue- did you book a trip to the Lakes - I can’t remember. Glad you got out yesterday - it’s hard to raise someone’s spirits when your own are teetering isn’t it. But you two are a good team - just keep going out and doing things if you can. Just simple things to break the day like the Costa porridge or a garden centre. April will come soon.
You’re right this cold is a stinker - I,d forgotten how they make you feel. This is the 3rd day I,ve just sat on my b—-. I,m so tired. Never mind it,ll go when it’s ready.

Sending love to all BDs xx

Kai watching me type

Kai looks ready to pounce on the keys the moment you let your guard down.
Let Kai have a word - "vfigjbaijfnbsfgnbno"..there you go.
I'm sorry for the stinker cold. Sad it's not nice and warm to nurse it with. But it's clearly saying rest and you will get better, you have been under a lot of strain with your friend.

EllieAnne - I don't know how agile you are, but I have comfy grown up size bean bag and can and do actually plonk it against the radiator and it's really great,

but...... you have to get up and down from it. ....

so better, is something called a "bed arm chair"......I googled it for a check up - it turns your bed into a chair (actually, I'm very tempted by them as well!)

Wise lady to take it easy, HVDY, if you feel that way - try to catch the sun from the inside. You do so much for your family and so on maybe your body is saying "me time".

Well my plan re MrA is to really really make my relationship with the troubled Quaker D a good one. I'm seeing her for a coffee next week. I believe I can "reach" her. Also I'm afraid what I dont want to do - which is when MrA returns, or even before, to quietly "out' him to other Quakers when the chance comes up.

Safeguarding have said I can discuss what happened to others - one doesn't like to think a hint was dropped, but they would have said don't talk about it I think if it had been out of order.

Today I didnt head for the gym. Was exhausted despite a really good sleep (😯) and as it was sunny caught up on some out and about shopping

- so glad to have a little digital radio back for the kitchen to keep me company, and brand new extension leads that in fact have allowed the dreaded temporary loan computer to charge properly and one for the sewing machine, but best of all was a very short stroll in the park and a long sit in the sun with a coffee watching the world go by. Things started to feel in the right place awhile 🤫.

Back later to hear from other BD's.

Scaredycat I know you like to 'seize the day' so Im sorry about that nasty cold /virus. Take it easy and I hope you're up and about soon.
Yes! We have booked a holiday- in mid April to the cottage next to the field of sheep and lambs in the lakes. Just hoping we feel up to it .
HVDY Oh no another one with a nasty cold - there seems to be so many viruses about. Hope you feel a bit better . All you can do is take paracetamol and wait till your body fights it off.
EllieAnne I too dont like the thought of you sitting on the floor . Is there any chance at all you can get a smaller comfy chair in. Lots of good suggestions from others. Hope you managed to get a whisky top up.
Wyllow You e had so much stress with the Mr A assault and the fall out of it has spread through your precious Quaker meetings. I really hope you can get on a good wavelength with Quaker D .
Oh that stroll in the park in the sunshine sounds just the thing. Wish we could all walk with you. How are your eyes lately?
Doodle I watched something on daytime TV yesterday about someone with bad hay-fever and it can get quite serious. It must be so horrible for you. I do hope uou have managed to get it under control a bit today. I dont know much about it but it seems individuals can be affected by various pollens. Hope you're soon feeling well enough to go out again with your friends.
Nadateturbe Hi - thinking about you. X

Toilet cistern playing up yesterday - not filling properly. DH looked up on UTube about it and managed to get the part which he and son mended this afternoon. Hed picked DGS up from school first so we played the hoop game in the garden and had a little talk.
Had xray on finger this morning and results from blood test show iron v low and vitamin D deficiency.
One reason why Im so tired but I think mainly Fibro. DH still has the nerve pain and been wearing hand brace thing.
I went to book group yesterday and only 5 of us but all had interesting discussion about Spiritualism and also the existence of God. ( brought about by reading our book Arthur and George- Arthur being Arthur Conan Doyle)

Hope everyone has had an ok day but wishing all a peaceful night. Also hoping those with the viruses soon get well.x