Black Dogs 28

sorry, posted too early...
before going to her DDs for dinner.
HVDY Aww foxy waiting for you to turn up with the feast.
Scaredycat Hope you had a nice lunch at your DDs.
Wyllow What a beautiful drawing. Such a caring ,gentle image. Thankyou for sharing. I shall remember ' sharing is helping'
Doodle Thankyou so much. Hope youve had a lovely church service today.
EllieAnne Hope you have been OK and perhaps have heard from your son n family or DD.
Nadateturbe Thankyou. Look after yourself and always nice to see you are still hear.

Hope all have had a reasonable day.xx
.

Thankyou all for your kind and friendly words.
Son 2 and DDIL came this afternoon with card and Orchid. Son 2 has card in post for me and rang.
Aunt still v confused and rang many times before she went to her DDs for

Hi all
Doodle- it’s good to read about the support and kindness you received from the Cardiac nurses - at a time when you really needed it.
I meet my Art friends for breakfast every few weeks and have a catch up. One of those has finished her cancer treatment and it’s so good to see her again.
Yes today we are going for a late lunch at DD . This morning her youngest Daughter is taking her for coffee and cake. Lots of Mums in our family. I hope you have a lovely family day visiting your Sons.
HVDY- Mr Fox lives like a foxy king. You are such a generous person with both animals and people.
I too take beta blockers and yes they make you even more tired than you already are!!
What nice Mother’s Day gifts. Bob Mortimer is such a dear man isn’t he. The fishing programme he’s in is a delight.
Your brother probably isn’t good at putting it into words but your help and visits must make him feel loved . That was a long chat for him.
Enjoy Mothering Sunday - you deserve to be spoiled.
SweetPeaSue- good news your BiL seems to be recovering slowly but surely.of course it depends what the MRI shows as to the future. It,ll be difficult without their car won’t it.
Yes seeing my friend so afraid is terrible- she has much to be afraid of.
Hopefully your Aunt may get used to her familiar place a bit more. As you say - so much suffering. Your DiL must be so glad of your support.
I do hope tomorrow you get kind,thoughtful nurses like Doodle and her DH did. Don’t kick yourself about the card- your DH probably just put it away not wanting to make a fuss.
Enjoy today.
Nadateturbe- Hello to you too!! We are all just pleased to hear from you when you are able. Don’t worry about how much or how often - we understand.
EllieAnne- hope you feel a bit better. Thinking of you today.
Wyllow - Bella is cute- is she a Bedlington terrier?
So happy you got to the beach- there is nowhere like it to help you feel calm and peaceful. It’s my happy place for sure - the quieter,wilder and more deserted the better.
Those highs and lows you speak of are to a certain extent out of your control.But know I believe you know that some highs are good as in your evening out. Focus on them- catastrophising about what might happen is exhausting.
Your research will help I,m sure and one thing that is certain those people involved should have known better.
I hope today re energises you- enjoy your rest . Your drawing is you I imagine- the hands could be Angel hands catching you and protecting you. I hope so anyway.
Love to all - I have to feed the boys now and sort my hair out.
Thinking of you all this Mothering Sunday

Maybe son 1 nudged son 2, HVDY 😉
My DS wrote a nice WhatsApp, they are away the weekend, but it’s him getting the lie in and breakfast in bed, cos it’s his birthday and apparently that tops Mothers Day.

I slept for 7 hours, came down, had some breakfast, went up and slept 2 more. Combined catching up on sleep for months and 2 active days. There’s a howling wind here and I was going to have a lying around day anyway.

Doodle The fox came at 7.30 last night - I had just gone out to put food down, and there it was! I wonder if it's a pregnant vixen (they give birth any time soon), as it was backwards and forwards for an hour, taking the food back to its den (for storing, I think under the shed of a neighbour). I hope you have a lovely Mothering Sunday, seeing both of your sons. Is your son cooking a roast?

nadateturbe Hope you have some easier days soon. Take care.

EllieAnne My brother loves those Alan Bennett monologues. TV on Saturday evenings isn't very interesting to me. I look at YouTube, too, as well as listen to music (wearing headphones) on there.

Doodle. I don't know who mentioned flying foxes, but they're a breed of bat.

Wyllow3 I always used to get my lovely mum something, then later also got DH's mum gifts and cards, too. My sons have always bothered - Son1 writes such lovely words inside. Surprisingly, Son2 has, this year (he must realise I won't always be here ) Glad you're enjoying being at your sister's. The weather was really good here, too - blue sky and sunshine all day. Being on a beach must have been wonderful. I envy you that bit. Nice that you went out for a meal. It's always good when someone else has done the cooking, I think. Yes, my brother and I chatted about various holidays, family who are no longer here, and just things in general.

Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

And I have no idea why you have all had a blank white square as an illustration...

Doodle

Ah it’s a zip wire. Now I know. Never heard of flying fox before.

Neither had I!

It sounds like a good idea for DH to give them a ring, Sweetpeasue. If they are available most days, it sounds like its it a resource to ring anytime one is worried. And you didn’t know. (Blokes?)
I did wonder if Bella is like your dog chum whom comes to stay sometimes?
DiL’s mum is really really poorly, isn’t she? And you have Aunt as well, needing support. I’m so glad DH was able to help with the techie stuff.
Well, my POV is that you don’t have to consciously help people when you come in, because sharing is helping, we are not alone in struggling with different or similar difficulties. Not sure why it helps me but it does?
Actually Doodle puts it far better than me.

Wow Ellie Anne that is a small screen for TV watching, do you sort of curl up with it in bed?

HVDY I had forgotten its Mothers Day. We’ve never made it more than I card I think, or the change to have a lie in and not have responsibility for the children (my DiL). My mum used to diss it!
But after reading your post I can see substantial and very nice advantages. 🙂 And mums should be valued.
It’s good you chatted for 4 hours with your brother. That’s really long for him, isn’t it?

Ah Doodle that was a deceptive look by Bella. She is lively and young, although likes lying and being cuddled too. But out and about she races around and wants to jump up and say hello to everyone.
There is a lot to be said for comfort watching of old favourites. And why not? Was today the hospice? Have you had the nice sun?

Lovely to see you in nadateturbe. It’s nice when yo can say more, but popping in when you are down just to say hello is lovely - since many of us are in long term it’s cumulative.

Today it was a glorious day. I had sleep badly again with waking quite severe depression and was dizzy walking but didnt go far, just loved being on the beach dawdling along in the sun and fresh air and quite busy waves.
Things picked up when we had a lunch from a good cafe on the cliff tops and then I had a sleep.

I woke so angry that my life had been restricted by all that happened - that the dizziness and exhaustion and mood swings were not of my making.

But of course getting resentful and angry isn’t helping either, tho I honestly can’t imagine confronting the two major people involved and having a calm Quaker meeting. But we’ll see. The women who said it wasn’t an assault has kept a very low profile recently indeed, I think it s sunk in and she has been “outed” too.

Then I had a good think about tit and started researching rapidly cycling bi polar 2 Everything fitted. The trigger, the symptoms, the dizziness, the exhaustion, the other symptoms mental and physical, becuase you are constantly under stress by being too high or too low.
The research felt empowering and I can talk about it and perhaps better treatments. And yes those people involved will know they have been triggers for severe MH stuff. Not one to be ashamed of it.

So we all went out for a meal and it was the first evening out for 9 months. And I had done a little sewing before we went out. (Yes those were “high” bits but good sorts of high bits!)

Ah it’s a zip wire. Now I know. Never heard of flying fox before.

Hi Sweetpeasue I'm probably as frustrated with illness as you are, although nothing like your DH. Hope he gets speaking to someone on Monday. You need to have a good rest, and not worry about posting.
I wish I could post to everyone now, but hopefully tomorrow. xx

Doodle I could kick myself as when DH came out he said something about rehabilitation cardiac nurses but didnt tell me he had a card, which he brought down from his paperwork stuff today. Hed kept it but didnt want to contact anyone just yet. I should have remembered though. Anyway we'll def contact Monday and it would be wonderful if we get cardiac nurses like the ones your DH got.
Hope you enjoy your Mother's Day with both of your sons and you get thoroughly spoilt.
Nadateturbe Hi Nadateturbe. Hope you're OK. X

Just popping on to say hello, and thinking of everyone, coping with sadness and health. Sending love, hope I can post tomorrow. Just reading last post, Doodle the old programmes are good. So nice you can see your sons tomorrow x

Wyllow I like the look of Bella. She looks calm. Is she?
Glad you can relax with your sister. Good idea to ask your brother to meet up more often.
Sweetpeasue I think the cardiac nurses are available for people to ask questions. We were always told to ring them if we had queries. We got to know a couple really well and they were great. One phoned me after Dh died to say she couldn’t believe it when she heard the news. She was so kind and lovely. Glad you BiL is improving.
You can always post here and say whatever you like Sweetpeasue. If you’re too tired to post we understand but the point of this thread is not for you to cheer others up but to be a place where you can say how you feel without having to explain yourself and to get the love and support from others that we need. I do understand though that there are times when you’re too tired to bother. Just posing hello sometimes is enough.
Ellie Anne I’m with you on watching bits of things and not bothering with the rest. So many channels and so much rubbish. I’ve gone back to watching old episodes of Taggart and The Bill. Hope you’re feeling better today.
HVDY Foxy is so lucky to have you looking after him. It must be difficult to help your brother when he doesn’t seem to want to do anything. What a lovely visit you had. Nice book to read too.
Scaredycat are you seeing any of your family tomorrow? I’m going to DS2 for a meal and popping in to see DS1 on the way,

EllieAnneI like the way Alan Bennet writes about ordinary everyday people and uses everyday language. He must be a great observer of people. Just googled his age and hes 92! Oh yes, Lady in the Van - she existed didnt she - parked it right outside his own house.
As HVDY says too, not much on TV lately. Sometimes easier to watch drama series on IPlayer where you can keep up the story.
HVDY Such a nice post ,thanks. Im sure you will know more than most ,the sadness and deterioration of older people with Dementias. Aunt had rang again after we got back- so confused.
Nice of you to visit your brother for so long and do a bit of cleaning for him. Oh yes, Mother's Day , son 2 said he was coming tomorrow. Enjoy your truffles.

Wyllow3 Oh, I see. My Bisoprolol betablocker was 2.5mg, but it was increased to 5mg to try to get my BP down (it still averages at 140/80, and the GP "would like it" to be 135/75. I intend to tell them that I won't be taking anything else, as 140 isn't massively high. Hope you've had an enjoyable day. Did you go to the beach? It's been sunny and dry all day here.

SweetpeaSue I'm glad your BIL appears to be going on well. A year is a long time not to be able to drive! I suppose if it's epilepsy or something, there's a chance of further seizures. Hope he gets home soon. It's sad about your DIL's mum. It is horrible to see a loved one go downhill like that. I hope your husband manages to speak with someone on Monday about his Angina. He was kind (and knowledgeable) to sort out your aunt's TV. You don't ever need to apologise for not posting, and you needn't feel you have to explain - we know and sympathise.

Son2 and LG came here this morning, with Mother's Day cards, a tin of chocolate truffles, a plant in a wicker basket, and the autobiography of Bob Mortier (I'll have a read tonight as there's nothing of interest on TV). Then, I visited my brother for 4 hours. Chatted a lot, and I cleaned his kitchen a bit. Hope everyone is ok x

Sweet pea sue I love talking heads especially the one you mentioned.
Also enjoyed lady in the van. The one I watched last night was about a family on holiday and nothing much happened but I enjoyed it.
I’m finding that I can’t be bothered with a lot of the stuff on tv just now . I start watching a new series and give up.
Wyllow I hope you are enjoying your time away. I watch you tube on my iPad.

Scardycat It must be so difficult for you to witness the deterioration of your poorly friend and to see her frightened must be awful. Its difficult to know what to say. I visited my aunt today and I can see a definite deterioration in her since being in hospital. She's been asking the same question only seconds after the first. You are doing all you can - dont forget to look after yourself too.

After doing some shopping went to see DILs mum in care home. She too has deteriorated since being there , though expected it was still a shock. Id last seen her less than 2 weeks ago. It is so terrible. So much suffering - I find it difficult to understand.
Then straight to aunt's where her DD was there sorting out latest 'crisis'. DH helped technical stuff with TV.

DH has admitted to feeling wobbly with tight chest again. Try and sort something on Monday.

Sorry if I cant always come in. Sometimes I feel like whatever I say cant help anyone and at others just feel so tired.
Take care everyone and hope its been a reasonable day for all.

Doodle No wonder your pacemaker was fitted so swiftly! It was such a bad time ,looking after your DH and all the back n fore to hospitals- then having to sleep in local hotel- the stress must have been immense.
DH didnt want to bother anyone before the appt but Ive persuaded him to ring a 'rehabilitation' cardiac number. Not open on weekends so we'll try Monday.
HVDY Your fox must be getting used to his feasts at yours by now. I think youll be seeing more of him in future. It must be like visiting a five star hotel for him. My BIL is meant to be coming out middle of next week. Hes looking very well and his obvs are fine. They're still thinking it could have been some kind of seizure but will get MRI results on head next week. Hes not to drive for a yr- which will hit hard as sis doesnt drive .
Wyllow So glad everything is going well there.
Regarding Mr A experience- you might ,hopefully, feel better with time though I can see the Quaker meetings could be challenging at first. Once youve been going a while they might get better ,I hope so as I know theres little to match that diverse way of spiritual reflection/ worship - one that encompasses religious and non religious.
The little dog Bella is v cute.
*EllieAnne So sorry I missed you out of my last post! Hope you got to sleep after your warming drink. I like Alan Bennett plays- especially the monologues ,Talking Heads- ' Cream Cracker Under the Settee' with Thora Hird was so good.

It was simply high blood pressure and as she got older a bit of AF, HVDY.

EllieAnne Glad you're feeling a bit better. Hope you slept well.

Wyllow3 I'm glad you're relaxing a bit. Seeing family is important. My brother and his son are both like my dad (and me, to some extent) - not demonstrative or tactile at all, stiff upper lip, etc), but feel deeply. You don't say why your mum took betablockers, but I had them at the age of 30, for panic attacks (I'd had some kind of MH breakdown), but have been on them now for 4 years, as standard treatment (with antiplatelets and BP pills), from having the stroke. I hope you have a lovely day at the beach. Not sure what temperature it's meant to be there, but it's nice to go. Aww Bella looks lovely. Very pretty.

Hope everyone has a decent day x

This is Bella. I’m not a big dog fan but she has got under my skin!

Greetings and love to all, I was too tired to come in last night.
I'll be back in later to catch up.

I greatly overdid it yesterday, although it wasn’t intentional. My Sis took me and Brother on what was a short riverside walk.
Short for her, it was over 2 miles. I did enjoy it but couldn’t move a lot later.
I have to hold it together today as it’s an outing to the coast and the sand between the toes bit:

I think lunch is intended: I’ve told sis walking limitations, all good.

It is very warm and easy going here, however. No need to talk - or not to talk. Sis is cooking simple but nice food. Sadly, I cant access the internet in my bedroom, and it’s my night coping mechanism to a certain extent.

But totally right to come here. It makes me wonder why I don’t see Brother more often - it’s only about an hour’s drive and we natter on, I will suggest it. I’m too lonely home alone - why not a monthly lunch out where I treat him.

Yesterday it jumped into my head, after MrA et al, things will never be the same again

I don’t mean it will have the acute effect it has been and hasn’t totally gone yet atm, of course: I mean that somethings has changed forever with Quakers, and tbh, I am wary around quite a few men.

Is your friend on her own all the time, Scaredycat? It makes me think of the comfort that my cleaner and the carer woman who used to take me out. Could anything like that possibly help? I’m suggesting a good private agency where they match people and understand needs. Yes, I always miss coming in and like it when all pop in.

HVDY those anti-biotics sound like just what is needed, and I so hope they will make a difference. It’s also good that your Brother is going to see his son. One never knows, he might open up to him in a blokey way. My, Foxy is a very fortunate fox. I just recall my mum was on beta blockers too and they helped, no other intervention was ever needed.

Talent is nice to have but not essential Doodle art wise and as you say it’s also the company. I’m trying to share with my DGD it’s not necessary to “make a flower look at the one in front of her” but to make a mark that the flower has inspired, blobs welcome.
I’ve forgotten how long ago your pacemaker was fitted. Phew! That was a close shave.

Thank you for your kind words Ellie Anne. Yes, my lap top and bedroom and a nip of a little something (I actually like a bit of brandy) is a good escape and comfort set up. (I presume it's the lap top you are watching U tube on?) If I cant sleep I go for something like an old Death in Paradise that I've seen before, not over stimulating and comfort watching.

See you all later.

Thanks for asking doodle.
I’m still coughing but much better.
Wyllow I’m so glad you are at your sisters. I was worried that you would not go.
I’m in bed with a whisky 🥃 watching an old Alan Bennett play on you tube.
Sleep well everyone.

SweetpeaSue I know, I've had this ear problem for almost 2 weeks now. The GP today was lovely, and I hope these drops do the trick. Your sister was brilliant at doing CPR until the paramedics arrived. It was something I always dreaded ever having to do, when I was a carer (although I was trained to do CPR. How's your BIL today?

Doodle Aside from helping medical students to learn, the body donation application was a practical idea - no funeral to organise. Foxy cae early at 8.30, tonight. A tin of luncheon meat, 3 eggs, a huge wedge of cheese, and a whole black pudding (he might not like that). He sat under the trampoline to eat something. A heart rate of 20 is dangerously low! No wonder your pacemaker was fitted quickly. I'm the opposite - I'm on a beta-blocker to slow mine down (as a result, I'm tired a lot of the time and my metabolism has slowed down since the dose was increased a couple of weeks ago). Your art class meetings with friends and coffee sound very nice - especially with cake!

Not done much today. Going to see my brother tomorrow. I'd suggested going for lunch, but he doesn't want to (he lives very frugally but has got a LOT of money in the bank). Hope ALL BDers have arestful sleep later x

nadateturbe and Ellie Anne thinking of you both.