Black Dog 30

Hi all

Just caught up and will post tomorrow. I,m very tired and melting!!
Love to allxxxxx

Wyllow3 Relationships with DILs can sometimes be difficult - I'm lucky to get on very well with both of mine - and it must be remembered that our sons chose the woman to be with, so to keep a good relationship with the son, it's necessary to be friendly and easy-going with the DIL. I never criticise mine (particularly on the way they are with the children); I make sure I compliment them on their appearance, never talk about politics or religion, and I always take them a bunch of flowers when they host dinner or anything. I hope you manage to go to see the family and have a good visit. Could you go swimming or to the park with the children? Or simply read, watch a film, or play board games with them?
SweetpeaSue You needn't feel ashamed of having an eating disorder - you were ill. I eat too much sweet stuff - it doesn't help that DH keeps bringing cakes etc in. Matlock is nice for a day out, and has been described as a seaside place without the sea. Hope your husband has a better day today and that you can get out with Fluffball.
Doodle You've been so busy! Don't overdo things. Are you going out today? Matlock is only 28 miles (about 50 minutes) from me, so just a day out.

ScaredyCat, EllieAnne, Nadateturbe - hope things are ok.

LG will be here at 9 (Mum is off work but taking big sister out to buy clothes), so we plan to go to a farm park and take a picnic. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- those fresh beans must have been lovely.
They look pretty growing too don’t they.
You were busy. Sorting out is very tiring - or trying on clothes as you sort to see if they still fit!! Then hoovering- that’s over and above.
What would we all do without Costa. DH and I popped into ours on Sunday after getting the paper and GDs 1 &2 were in there together having a catch up. So we ended up having a really nice morning- they are such good company.
What lovely kind words for EllieAnne- you are such a good person.
Hope you’re having a good Fluffball day and DH feels well enough to go to the beach with her.
Wyllow- my friend was fine- she hasn’t felt poorly just very tired but as I said her readings were very bad that’s why she was admitted.
I have felt awful in this heat and thought it was the AF but then found out that the AD I take makes users feel very bad in the extreme heat. It was in the paper and Internet and I believe there is a thread on GN.
Please do some nice things for yourself- just not all at once !!
You should be the poster girl for Skechers. Do you have a retail outlet near you where you can buy them much cheaper?
Don’t worry too much about what to do with your DGC. You are Gran and as such have a special place in their hearts.
Depending on how old they are there’s lots of things you can do without wearing yourself out.Silly drawing games,consequences,if there is still such a thing as plasticine you can make all sorts,board games ,Cards,charades. We once taught ours to play poker in the airport when the plane was delayed! Dont put pressure on yourself they will be happy just to have you there.
HVDY- you,ve written the perfect guide to getting on with DiLs
Such sensible words. They are very lucky to have you.
I,m like you- I love sweet stuff- who can resist a piece of cake.
Hope you enjoyed Matlock. I remember one time in the Alps we met a bunch of men from Matlock in a bar - they were cyclists and the funniest chaps and such good company.
Hope you,ve had a good day with LG- a farm park sounds lovely. It’s still too hot to do anything energetic here🥵
Doodle- that must have been annoying with the storage boxes but at least it’s sorted now. We did the same earlier in the year and bought some to go in our little cupboard under the stairs. Nope they didn’t fit so went into the garage with all the other stuff😩
So pleased you lovely family dog is home- she.ll be loving all the fuss
I thought what you said about speaking to people about problems are very true.Some just don’t know what to say, some don’t want to get involved and some say too much.
I don’t find it easy to open up about problems with my friends but will always listen to them and try to help.
EllieAnne- like Wyllow I hope so much that you will find some kind friends to confide in freely. We are all concerned for you and your stressful situation.
Doing the right thing is taking its toll on you. Your feelings count too- you are paying a very high price to keep the peace.
Nadateturbe. Thinking of you and hoping you have been able to get out a bit.xxx

Well update on SiLs Dad. He didn’t get a bed all weekend but had his Op yesterday and it went well . Have not heard anything yet today. He and his wife are really well looked after . They have a good care package and a lovely lady who looks after them during the week. At weekends family take over. But at night they are alone .
They are bright as buttons but age although a privilege is also very difficult and unpredictable- as we are all learning.

Love to all and keep coolx

HVDY Your DH sounds like mine - mine says would you like to go the this specialist chocolate shop if were passing. They just want to please dont they.

Hope youve had a lovely day out with LG at the farm park and there was somewhere in the shade for picnic.
Scaredycat Glad your SILs dad has had his op now and all went well. Not good having to wait all weekend for bed though. Yrs, the beans have lots of pretty red flowers on them- we're going to be full of beans alright.

Ive been beside myself since yesterday.
DH has had a pain in his chest, not angina , sice a few weeks after the subclavian stent put in just before Christmas in York. Hes mentioned it to the follow up cardio nurse who said it didnt sound heart related ( we knew it wasnt) to the Vascular surgeon in the final follow up apt ( he said it couldn't be the stent) and to Rheumatologist a couple of mths ago. He pressed on right where it was - DH nearly jumped out of his chair- and said it was muscular and referred DH to pain clinic for injections.
DH told them it was there all the time and he could draw a circle around the exact spot. He told GP too.
Sorry to go on but if you remember when way back other GP thought breathlessness was lungs and sent him to Respiratory Dr a couple of yrs back - they found benign lung nodules that just needed follow up.
DH went for the CT scan to check them a couple of weeks ago- theyre fine not grown.
DH got feedback on his NHS app yesterday. Radiologist sent results back to Respiratory Dr and Respiratory Dr has sent the results straight to Vascular dept. Evidently the stents put in the Subclavian artery in November have projected 2 centimeters into the aortic arch! Ive googled it and its serious.
You'll remember that the Vascular dept dismissed the Subclavian Steal twice which is why we had to go private. Ive no faith in them- if they just get the results of the CT and do t think its caused pain - it has! they might think its well to leave alone. From what Ive read ( 'Subclavian Artery stent projects 2 cms into aortic arch' its vital its not left alone.

Our GP who knows us not on till Thursday but she needs to send the info about DHs pain since he had it done so they get the full picture. Dont think well get F2F but I need to relate the info as DH saying theyll not do anything - pointless.

Honestly Im so worried and all this time hes had pain and thought he had to put up with it. Id asked for scans before -but no. Told DH to tell radiologist when he had CT scan a couple of weeks ago to tell radiologist about his background. Told DH then that it might show up whats wrong, and it has.

Sorry for long winded post about it - I couldn't sleep at all last night.
Thanks for listening.

ScaredyCat Some ADs affect people in that way. I suppose it's best to have cool drinks regularly, have ice lollies, and stay out of the heat if possible. We all need to do those things anyway. Glad your SIL's dad has had his operation ok. He'll need to recover now. It's good that he and his wife have got a lot of support at home. It's lovely that you just bumped into your GDs like that. I wish our Son1 and his family lived this side of town (they're only 8 miles away though).

SweetpeaSue You were right all along about your husband's pain. I think it's awful that you have to keep fighting for people to listen and for things to be done. I really hope someone takes notice and actually helps your husband. Poor man, he's been through so much.

Lovely day with LG. The animals were lazing about a lot (I don't blame them), but she enjoyed seeing them. We had our food under a big tree. LG loves carrot sticks, cucumbers (she says "Cubbubbers), and all kinds of fruits. She played in the sandpit (we always take a bucket and spade). When we got back, she played with a watering can and some water pistols. She went at 5.15. We're worn out . x

HVDY Aw glad you had a nice day. Our DGS used to like thise kind of snacks when he was little. LG will remember a of these little outings Im sure.
Thanks for kind words.
Doodle * EllieAnne*Wylliw
Hope you're all OK.

I wrote a long post last night with my usual comments.

And never pressed Post Message.

Duh. Yesterday needed up a lovely and actually quite long walk in the park and collecting a best ever red skirt from M n S with a comfy shirred waist.

I get my Sketchers on Amazon.

I did thank HVDY for super advice on DiL’s. The children are mostly on their devices: sadly it has been that way as parents have had to spend 60% parent time on my disabled DiL. Having said that, ironically Covid meant that for that period they were home schooled and lots of parent input: they are now 14.12.10.8

The problem one is youngest and its catching his concentration…I’ve never known them sit down with board games an never family charades…for some time.

I can spend a long time with L very disabled tho, cuddles, little songs. She is hard to understand she has a sort of part ability to speak clearly ie and the family sometimes need to interpret.

Scaredycat you being a good listener goes without saying….I hope you do have friends to open up to

- OTOH, you have a very close and extended family and a sis on the phone (as I do). You know we will always “hear”.
As regards your friend with the hip, it looks as good as it might be, the operation going well, the close enough family, the care package. But I’m aware what you say - the more we age, the more likely we are to have people struggling around us too, and its a reminder of our own vulnerability, and if we are fortunate, what is precious.

That is a sign you are thought of and loved Sweetpeasue but oh the temptations of that there Choc shop.
That is so very upsetting about DH. You are very right to press for help and get anything checked out.

DH maybe doesn’t want what he may need: “more fuss”I think a lot of people get fed up and prevaricate…being an ostrich isn’t the answer. You are getting very good about summarising the medical situation and who to go to. Get it all written down in summary for Thursday, even if you don’t get a F2F highlight the immediate concern. And please - don’t forget 111 or even A and E.
I’m not being dramatic, just practical. For you both. Only they can decide whether it’s intervention or observation.

On the thread as regards anti’s and heat effects after reading the thread I looked into it fully. It is not mentioned as a common nor even an “1 in 100” side effect. But the link appears to be that many MH meds including my mood stabiliser dehydrate us more than normal therefore…the obvious -dizzy, short of breath, et al and the ansi appears to be water water water an difnecessary additional help against dehydration.

I notice it very quickly being yoga body aware and a sit down and a long slow drink but also deep deep calming breaths and concentration when walking is focus on “feet firmly awareness on ground step by step”

It’s so lovely to read about your day with LG, HVDY. It certainly is a lovely window to read of childhood happiness and funny words and water pistols 😊 and no wonder you are tired out but love has been there in its most innocent form.

Well today was quite remarkable. I met QuakerL the sensible one this morning for a coffee and we did talk the whole business over. And some questions to me “why did you” etc etc to put to bed.

It’s not over as QuakerD has real “stuff” atm and her interactions with me are by no means the only ones.

I explained yellow rock to her.

Then I went to the gym (feeling dizzy 🙄) but it was cool and focussing on breath etc.

I had a long cup of coffee at the end with a acquaintance which was not tiring a good sign they are low key.

Love to all, and the missing ones today. KOKO xx