Black Dog 30

I missed your post, too, Scaredycat. Well yes, the loud hoots as well as caring with real good women friends, nothing quite like it.

I recall that, that friend’s son is finding it difficult. Very full on for him. Does he get any help at all? It’s amazing she remembers you. How different people and memory all are - how one can recall this or that, another, other things.
Today must have been a very bitter sweet one for you. An anniversary, and recalling a son lost in the way he was. Oh, life is cruel! Of course - you will never stop wishing here were here. ❤️
My new Friend lost his stepson 3 years ago in the same way - I am not sure yet if and when he wishes to speak of him. He just knows it’s not a no go subject.

Our local “Home Bargains” HVDY is reported to be full on Christmas! Bizarre.

Your GP sounds lovely. Hmm, a few weeks of nights..hope it doesnt work out like that.
Is that a record? A three hour natter and laughing sounds like a good time was had.

But it’s understandable that the choir has to start now, EllieAnne, and rather nice in a way too. I secretly sing along to anything going at home as I have accurate pitch.

That sounds lovely, last night, Doodle.
Lights, and flowers….I’m glad he seems nice, and a family man with children is a good start. I hope to hear that the antihistamine gives you a good night.

Now that sounds very possible, Sweetpeasue, the pinched back nerve causing problems in the foot. This may be left field, but have you considered Reflexology? That is, if DH can bear to have his foot touched. Yes it does work right up into the body, as there all kinds of nerve passage endings in the foot.
www.spafinder.com/blog/healing/reflexology-101-treatment-benefits/
It might well help: here is an example
www.sarahcooper.co.uk.
It’s gentle, talk to her or someone else you might find.

(But HVDY is right, consider gout. A blood test will tell, and the meds work very well. (Ex used to get it and the speed of the meds working is amazing, but has the GP not thought of it?) As far as `I know tho gout doesnt affect hip and back and so on.

So Fluff is only partially still Costa friendly. Bit of a responsibility as well as cuddly. But DH is right, if you can take Fluff a bit further, go for it - it’s good for you, and DH will feel he is giving you the chance. I guess there is some good reason the consultant has delayed probably all his patients that week, just adds frustration however.

Yes, I did get what I wanted from my psychologist, until January. I had explained why, there are specifics I won’t outline online, that I need to come to terms with. A busy day indeed, but a good one, I just need an early night as tomorrow morning is busy, cleaner, carpenter, and a walk at Bot Gardens with first Ex as in who I get on well with.

Today I did get out to the gym, had a satisfactory GP call to get meds early for holiday, bits and bobs, coffee with friend, who now has more family staying over - I probably wont meet up

- and then got tempted in Sainsbugs when I had just popped in, because they were moving stuff between shelves and loads of really good frozen ready meals and a hunk of cheesecake were half price!..

Home, and a meeting locally talking about local council bits and bobs. Nice lot, so it's pleasant to be there, other wise would be tedious.

Tea and biscuits natter and planning socials, etc. Came away with useful local information and one Thing to Do as I'd like to get the council to support an initiative led by a bloke the other side of the city who wants to get a sort of mens shed thing going especially for men who need to really talk, but it needs funding.

Wyllow I am confused. I had obviously wrongly thought that your friend was a woman but have now picked up that it is a man.
Dh got a phone call today and has. Scan on Saturday.

Yes, you are right.

I hope the scan is helpful in that you know the score. x

SweetpeaSue It might not be gout, then. The swollen ankles, if caused by Amlodipine, will take a little longer to go back down. I couldn't get socks on when mine were so swollen with that particular BP pill. MRIs cost a lot of money to do and are only done when everything else has been tried - I hope the pain clinic will offer your husband someeffective help. As for the vascular appointment being put back a bit, it's the state of the NHS at present, isn't it? (yet more and more people arrive here daily, all expecting, and getting, medical attention)

Wyllow3 Yesterday was quite productive, by the sound of it. It's nice that you get on so well with your first ex. Hope you have a good old chat when you meet today. Busy day at your house, with the cleaner and carpenter. About a group for men who need to talk- do you mean for men who are depressed, or just lonely? One of the pubs near me has a meeting once a month for men with depression. It's a lovely little pub - real ale, no jukebox, etc., and very friendly.

Unable to get my new medication yesterday - the GP had marked it as a repeat med, and as such, Asda Pharmacy said they take 72 hours to process.

Up at 5.30 (that furry fiend). Fed him, let him out, gave him his meds, then I went back to bed at 6.30 - waste of time, as he kept whining, so I'm tired before the day has begun. Back later.

Just a quick post- going to get F .

Thanks Wyllow and HVDY for that help. DH finds it very painful to move foot .
Im fairly sure its not gout.
I really dont think the back/ hip is anything to do with his swollen ankles.
A little while back I mentioned the purplish areas on both calves . I honestly think its Vascular problems thats causing swelling. GP mentioned could ne sciatica but he doesnt have sciatica pain and that wouldnt usually cause swelling in both ankles. Yes, the right is worse than left .

HVDY Oh naughty Jaffa again- seems hes very much a 'morning cat'.
72 hrs seems a long time to wait for a prescription just because its repeat.
Ive looked up about swollen ankles due to Vascular issues and that Amlodipine makes it worse. Hoping that the combination of 3x 30 min daily with feet up above heart combined with stopping Amlodipine, but also short times of walking will all help.
Wyllow Won't be long now before your holiday and you'll want to be prepared.
The Men's shed is a great idea and its kind of you to help get that up and running in your area.
Hope you have a good chat with your ex today.
Yes, F is a responsibility albeit a cuddly one.

Took F to woodland today where theres a nice tea room. Was glad cafe was busy as her little on and off whines weren't noticed as much. DH couldn't get far - a few hundred yds then sat on a bench. I tried to walk ahead with F but she kept pulling back looking for him and didnt like it at all.
DHs pain is wearing him down. Just rubbed in volterol on his legs and hes had feet up.

Hope everyone is ok.

SweetpeaSue You're right, the swollen ankles aren't anything to do with your husband's hip pain. The purple colour on his calves sounds very much like Haemosiderin staining, which is caused by venous insufficiency. Sciatica doesn't cause swollen ankles. I hope those measures work (feet up, exercise, etc) for your husband. He must be so fed-up with it all.

I complain about Jaffa, but I love him. He's only being a cat - they're not nocturnal, but Crepuscular (lively at dusk and dawn). He's been hanging about all day because he can smell some beef cooking in the slow-cooker (I'll give him some later).

I had a text from Asda at 10am to say my new tablets were ready to be picked up! I'll start it tomorrow (not looking forward to the effects).

Hope everyone else has been ok x

Thanks HVDY I looked the Haemosiderin thing up and I think it was that when he had it in April. Images can look different according to people's skin tone it said.
Oh yes, Jaffa is only doing what cats do.
F didnt eat her breakfast kibble , but we were told to not give her human food as shes not eating dog food so we're obeying instructions though its hard.
Glad you got your tablets- crossed fingers they wont for lots of bathroom trips!

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202609/medium-8nvh1r-1000015398.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202609/medium-7qg3w-1000018464.jpg

This is what appeared on both calves at same time and he hadnt knocked them. At the time a GP said he might have caused it by crossing his legs.

Evening all. I had very busy morning here, as my N/cleaner came and needed to discuss her DH as MiL dying of cancer as well as our usual natter:

but also my carpenter came and at last repaired a bannister and popped a shelf up above my desk and even put together an outdoor umbrella thingy that has been lying around. Super bloke.

Then I went to meet Ex1 and that was a nice Botanical Garden walk and talk. Then slept as I had overdone it yesterday, and things were whizzing round my head at night.
That called for a sleep so I got a nap in.

Yes I have been overdoing it
Yes I have to limit what I do more
I’ve just rung good pal P who dished out same advice but doesn’t take it herself 🤣.
But it is serious - I could make the CF worse - even New Friend warning me. I cant compartmentalise well and say “no”.

Now, HVDY - the man project. Basically, it’s for both.
Loneliness as well as any specific disorder - can we often separate them out?
I shall try and help them get funding from the council by finding the local councillor and contacting them. It’s a spot of gardening and funding for a nice big man shed with electricity for cuppas and so on and heating plug in in the winter. Its multi-cultural, a pub wouldn’t do, and the whole point anyway is to get people out in fresh air creating beauty from an inner city waste patch.

But that little pub meeting - just the ticket for the area.

I’m glad the meds have turned up and await report.
Oh, that furry fiend Jaffa….go on, admit you adore him…I can just picture him waiting for the beef

Now that is a mystery to sort out, Sweetpeasue. Multiple possibilities. But…the combination of feet up and short walks is actually spot on for a number of situations so good to go hopefully. (*Sometimes icing the swollen area helps, when legs are up, only you both can decide if that assists matters*, and check it’s not contraindicated.)

(But that photo does confuse me. Do ask about icing for swelling tho).

Aw..now thats interesting, F longing for DH. Rather sweet really. Can he sit still and throw things for Fluff and she retrieves things? Then you can have a little stroll alone and Fluff free. It sounds like she is easing up a bit in cafes. I don’t know dogs - someone may have a tip or two on another GN thread?

I’m now telling myself to not Do Anything Of Significance except a phone call and the Quaker Zoom later.

Looking forward to anymore BD’s who pop in, as ever.

The garden whatsit for hot or rain, nice and big isnt it? DiL gave me it but it's been sitting around not put together.

Wyllow Your carpenter man sounds like hes willing yo help and have a go at anything. Your garden furniture looks really nice- like the table top too.
Youve had a lot of things going on lately so yes, you need some rest , especially as holiday is coming up.
The 'man project' is going to be so helpful and can do so much for men who may be lonely or retired and perhaps depressed. Hope it all comes to fruition.
We do have F running around to retrieve things though in this particular woodland walk it has lots of visitors and too many other dogs about to let her go.

So take it easy and only Quaker zoom later.

Sweetpeasue your DH’s legs look like some sort of vascular insufficiency maybe. And his foot trouble as well. Sounds painful. Also heart problems with the blood not being pumped back up the body. Does the swelling go down after he’s been in bed all night.? So sorry your appointment has been moved back . You really need to get him seen soon. Both of you have been messed about so much. So sorry for all your stress.
HVDY naughty Jaffa waking you up so early. Hope your new tablets don’t upset you too much. I had really swollen ankles on Amlodipine too.
Ellie Anne good your Dh has his appointment. Hope you find out more after that.
Wyllow wow that a lovely umbrella. Should provide good cover for sun or rain as you say. Glad you had a nice time with your Ex. Don’t overdo things.
Scaredycat and nadateturbe hope your day has been ok.
I’ve been out for a lovely boat trip on the Thames with afternoon tea. Lovely and mild. So peaceful and an excellent tea. Early night again. I’m so tired these days.

SweetpeaSue I've never heard of anyone having those marks on their legs due to crossing their legs. Does Fluffball only have kibble, or does she like canned dog food? Meat? I gave Jaffa some of the roast beef that had been cooking all day - he turned his nose up at it! Silly boy. He's left his Sheba, too. What a spoilt brat he is .

Wyllow3 Your ideas for the meeting place for men sound great. I hope it'll take off. I bet there are lots of lonely men (widowed/divorced and retired) around. Your garden table and umbrella look good. Nice to sit and have a cup of tea there. The carpenter bloke worked well today, then. Hope you're relaxing this evening. Yes, Jaffa is my boy. I love him .

DH cooked a lovely roast beef dinner and has been watching some film, so I've been shopping online - huge rug for the living room, some cushions and a throw, and teddy bedding for GDs 1 and 2. Hope everyone has a cosy night x

Now Doodle that was a nice day out there. I adore boat trips, the water is sort of calming a one can sit and watch all sorts of interesting riverside things. Did you go with the friend in your flats. Sleep as well as you can, now.

Caught out staying up late, yes just the Zoom then...decided to write a needed letter, and sorry out all this things on my desk in a total heap and mess and now well on the way, now that is good....

HVDY yes just been online ordering some essential not easy to get in my supermarket bits and bobs for a holiday/overnight/hospital essentials bag - so I never have to pack or be caught out, a double for nearly everything I ever need to pack.
Creams, enlarging mirror, nail scissors, et al. All their sorted. Add a meds list and mor importantly letters I have asked for saying I know when I need to take my prescriptions (so if I ask in the middle of the night darn well give me them polite letter from psychiatrist!!!)

I will not be setting an alarm and have no Jaffa to wake me up .....

Wyllow3 That's called being very well-organised. I love it. When we go anywhere, I make lists of what to buy and what to take. When are you going away? Jaffa woke me at 7 (late for him, but we didn't go to bed until 11.30). He sneezed on my arm and then gently patted it.

It looks gloomy out. Son1 and his eldest girl will be here at 10 - he wants to see how DH changes the brake discs on our car. I expect we might take them out for lunch. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

I'm going in around a week's time, HVDY. so time to try and get it together without taking the washing sink. Good sleep there too.

It is sort of sun/gloom so it's hard to tell, but I hope you get a decent outing. DH can do stuff on a car! tops.

My plan is to do very little, and "observe the lilies" so lets see if I can stick to it BD's.

May your days be the best possible. EllieAnne I can't recall exactly but aren't you going to get some DH health news today?

Wyllow3 Is that to see your brother? It'll be a good little break away for you.

It's brightened up and the washing is on the line. Son1 here, helping DH with the car. GD1 was too tired to come but I had a long phone call withe her last night. She seems to be doing better at school (though it's only been just over a week), and has got a couple of nicer friends now.

Hi all
Sorry I,ve not been in much this week. It was a really nice 3 days- always bittersweet but so nice to be with family and enjoy the simple things . I had to just give in to tiredness in the end.
It’s hard to be 84 and still have the urge to behave like a teenager!!
SweetPeaSue-your poor DH It beggars belief that someone can’t come up with a diagnosis for all he is suffering right now.
Do hope a pain clinic can help him. That photo of his leg doesn’t look like it has anything to do with crossing his legs.It sounds like he has a big fan in F- she looks out for him in her little doggy way.
I think Wyllow could be right about ice might help him on his swollen leg.
HVDY- how typical- Jaffa overseeing the beef cooking then walking off when you put it on his plate!! As you say though he’s just being a cat it’s his job!!
Today we changed the bed and Kai got in the linen

basket and as we piled it up with sheets etc he just stayed there til he disappeared. Never a dull moment.
Well Asda pulled their finger out - I do hope the pills don’t upset you. I,m hating having to do this week of BP measurements- it stresses me out more than anything else to do with health.
I love reading about your online shopping- I don’t feel so guilty anymore😀
Enjoy your lunch with the family.
Doodle- so glad the new Vicar is happily settled in. It’s nice that he’s a family man so will have good understanding of people’s day to day problems.
I can’t think of anything nicer than a boat trip combined with afternoon tea. 2 of our favourite things. It must have been really relaxing.
Think how beautiful it will be on the fjords with your friend and afternoon tea.
Wyllow- yes my friends son looks like the one who is poorly. So many problems for him and no help from the rest of the family who are horrible. Yes memory is not one size fits all. Poor souls who suffer with dementia and Alzheimer’s it’s so cruel.
The men’sproposed meeting place sounds a great idea. Somewhere they can go and be with other men and feel able to talk without embarrassment and not feel so alone.
Love that big garden brolly - your garden has a new lease of life and is now the haven you needed.
Good idea to get the hols stuff sorted- that takes some of the stress away. Just make sure you have a rest in between your activities before going away.
EllieAnne- I expect the weekends come round far too quickly for you. Hope your DH is getting the treatment he needs.
Love to allxx

O

Spot the cat!!

Best of luck if you ever need to go to hospital Wyllow. You’ll get your meds when they decide the time is right and only when the doctor has signed them off. Like you DH had a letter from his neurologist saying that he should have up to 8 of his Pregabalin at whatever frequency he needed them and whenever he asked for them. Did that help? Not at all. Letter totally ignored. And even if the consultant says you should have your meds every six hours, that won’t happen because they only dispense meds at certain times of day and only if the right staff are there and have the keys to the drugs cupboard will you get them.
Sorry if I sound angry but I still get wound up by the way Dh was treated in hospital.
Great idea to get everything ready and sorted though. I always had a bag ready for my DH.
The river boat trip was with our walking group and yes my friend came as she is part of the group too.
HVDY I love the idea of Jaffa patting you on the arm. He’s very gentle. Did you go out for lunch? So pleased your GD1 is getting on better at school and has friends. That’s good.
Scaredycat little Kai just about visible in the basket 🤣
Pleased you had a good time with family.
Yes being on water is so peaceful and tranquil. Watching the wake at the back of the boat is one of my favourite things to do.
Sweetpeasue how has your poor Dh been today. Like Scaredycat I can’t believe they aren’t taking better care of him. Hope you manage a nice walk this weekend. It’s quite mild here.
Ellie Anne thinking of you too

Thank you scaredy cat.
I thought he could take himself for a scan today because it’s not too far and no parking problemsbut he says he said he was having trouble driving so I took him.
Wyllow your garden furniture looks good.
My mind is full of what ifs at the moment.
I can share on here but haven’t spoken to many people about dh s health problems through the summer as they don’t understand/empathise with the unhappy marriage situation.
When I shared my unhappiness with a lady in church a while back I just got told well he IS your husband so mostly I keep quiet.
But I do feel very lonely and so worried and frightened of the future.

Doodle Your boat trip yesterday sounded just perfect. I know you love the sea too but Id love your part of the country aswell.
I can understand too well the anger and frustration you must have felt and still do, at your DHs treatment in hospital. Whatever happened to hospitals over the years? They used to be places where one could feel safe and cared for. We know its not most of the nurses who try their best under pressure but honestly! When it comes to your nearest and nearest you need to know they are being kept pain free while you are away . I feel your anger and frustration at the state of things.
My DHs ankles are not going down at present - night times help a little, thanks for asking after him. I know that you understand . It often feels like one is helpless and every day clinging on to hope things will get sorted.
Scaredycat Oh your photo was so funny. Fancy Kai just staying there while you covered him with sheets and not even trying to move. He must have felt quite comfy. You just can't be 84 ! I cant believe it. That urge to act like a teenager should be bottled. We all want some!
Thankyou for your kind words about DH.
I do feel sorry for the son of your friend with dementia. My own DH was left with most of the caring for his own dad when he was ill. Poor lad ,I can imagine his burden .

Back later.

HVDY F is actually not fussy on the kibble. She has it on the morning and is more keen on her evening meal with a wet satchet of food poured over it. She was so used to having human food of all sorts ( think she wants you be like a human!) that she wouldnt eat her own. Theres a job on now to get her to understand she cant have what everyone else is having. Aww she would have loved that beef! Aww that little pat on the arm from Jaffa. DIL taught F to ' 'high 5' with her paw. The rug, cushions and throw will look lovely. Reminds me- I have an autumnal throw Ill have to get down from the airing cupboard soon.
EllieAnne It might be that your husband's foot isnt quite up to the clutch on the car but I realise he doesnt try and help himself much. Im so sorry for your lonely situation. Can completely get those ' what ifs ' that go through your mind . None of us know how to handle the future problems so we can only just wait until ,and if, they happen - though I know its not much help. I feel the same.
Wyllow Your organising things is second to none! I do wish I was more like that. I have finally got around to sorting some things out today that needed doing - wool that was all over the place and bits of things that had somehow accumulated on surfaces. Must have climbed the stairs 2doz times today. You must be looking forward to that holiday. I too cant remember if its your DB you are seeing.
Oh I hope you can sleep OK not knowing if you can wake up in time when you go away. Hope your plan to observe the lilies works out.

A busy day for me doing boring housework stuff but feels better now everything is looking tidier. Im afraid Ive never been a h/work fan 😩
Been on at DH that when he puts his feet up they have to be above heart. Im determined he sticks to some routine so Ive been a bit of a nag. He knows he has to though. Ankles still swollen /painful but early days yet.
Rained mist of day today but promises to be better tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a peaceful night.
Love to Nadateturbe