Black Dog 30

House/car keys found, both pairs of specs elude me despite extensive "Search and tidy".

I think my brain is on holiday.

Found specs in my little everyday bag in the case which has written on "day specs"
I think my brain is hibernating.

Wyllow3 You've said it yourself - you can lead a horse to water and all that - my brother doesn't want to alter anything in his life. He would probably like it if he had a visitor regularly (I've looked at befriending schemes - he didn't want to know), but doesn't ever want to put himself out or make any effort to do something.

I Googled Mirtazapine, and AI says - Mirtazapine is a prescription tetracyclic antidepressant used to treat major depressive disorder and sometimes off-label for anxiety or OCD

I'm glad you found your glasses and keys ok. Perhaps a small bowl somewhere, in which to put those things, might be handy.

Cooler morning. DH out for breakfast, so I'll do some ironing and go to B&M later. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

It is cooler all cloud here presently here.

It's nice, isnt it. I've put a wash out hopefully

Mirtazapene sounds spot on for you, but its isn't for all.

I was on it for quite a long time and it happened to help me minimally.

But....It's not what you might call a "gee up" antidepressant, as opposed to SSRI's. I accept that your brother may not be willing, but had he been, it would have been worth a try switching.

Yes, I need to develop more regular key and glasses habits!!!!
I even went through a filthy dustbin - it kept me up so late

Hi all
Doodle- yes it is very reassuring to know that the boys have somewhere caring to go so we don’t have to worry. It’s still so hot here isn’t it- poor little things they are are just flaked out on the floor.
It was good to see DD and have a good old catch up. We went to M and S for coffee. Just before we went away we stayed chatting with her and SiL and overstayed the new 3 hours parking limit by 18 minutes.so a parking fine of £50 was waiting in our post.😩 luckily we were just in time to pay or it would have gone up to £85!, just a word of warning.
You will be happy to see your friend again- a good friend like her is a gift indeed.
Hope you,ve had a happy day at Church.
HVDY- would your DB be interested in U3A? They would have a photography group. That’s what mine is.
Your garden sounds lovely- ours really is small but like you have bird baths and a little bird house which seems to be a magnet for all the cats in the neighbourhood who love to sit in it!!
We have been very lucky to have some great holidays and seen many wonderful sights.
Another fun LG day- you must have lots of photos of her.
SweetPeaSue- hope you feel better today- your poor head is worn out with all your worries over DH.
Wyllow- I have thousands of photos and enjoy making photobooks. They bring me much pleasure and memories.
Your Quaker news sounded more positive - good to hear.
You have key gremlins in your house. My Irish friend of years ago used to pray to St Anthony - she said he was very good at finding things..
It’s good that you have the reassurance of continued MH support- hopefully it gives you some confidence. Such a shame the actions of a few have eroded that confidence . You will overcome.

Today we have been to the Churchyard to put a wreath for my Son and his Dad. I chose a daisy wreath as it is my favourite flower. So many years yet it felt like yesterday standing in the sunshine like it was then. Every memory so vivid.
As I,m writing this Kai is sitting so close - I,ve never had a cat who is such a love bug. It helps.
Love to all those here and all Bds through the yearsxx

Oh Scaredycat Your churchyard visit was so poignant-- it being the same weather and all, just as it was then. Such bitter memories there must be . You are such a wise person to have come through all that and still have such empathy for others ,never bitter. How beautiful to pick a daisy wreath - we're never far away from a daisy are we! So glad Kai and your other boy is such a comfort.
Yes Im a real worrier!
Wyllow Oh yuck having to go through your dustbin- I noted how it was in the early hours too. So glad you found them at last. Its good you have your own Quaker meeting to go to and Im glad that Mr A can no longer be there to stir things up for you- it would be impossible for you. When you say you 'go to' the Zoom meeting do you actually have to go out to it? Sorry its a silly question Im sure you meant it metaphorically.
I dont think I could go back to the psychologist now but I know theres worse people needing him than myself. I try to koko but if I dont pick up a bit might have to increase AD dose though I really dont want to do that if I can help it.
HVDY

HVDY Trampolines do take a lot of room up dont they. My DGS and stepGranddaughter loved theres though its had to go since they had garden redone and they were a little fed up with it , getting older. What a lovely day you had with LG . I imagine she loves to come to you. The U3A might be a good thing for your DB as they do have a lot of different classes but of course he would have to agree. Over all The Men's Shed would be great especially if he could make a friend there.
Doodle You will have missed your friend's company while shes been away - has she returned now . I think it was the friend that lives in the same flats and the one you're going on holiday with. Hope you enjoyed church today.
EllieAnne Hope you're OK and the Drs visit was helpful.

Done a lot today ,helping DH cut the tall front leylandi hedge! I held the ladders while my ( stubborn) DH used the electric hedge cutter.😱 then picking up all the cuttings - back will feel it tomorrow. The achievement felt by both of us afterwards was immense.
DHs pain is more tolerable since he started using ibuprofen regularly for a few dys.
Visited aunt this afternoon and there was a mock fire alarm practice much to the residents amusement. They seemed quite excited. We talked with aunt and included a few residents and aunt seemed much better , more settled and seemed to be more at home with others. No upset when we left. I hadn't expected it to go so well. Crossed fingers.

Hoping everyone is well. Sending love to all.x

ScaredyCat It must have been so annoying to have a parking ticket. I had one for being about 6 inches over the line (at the end of a row and not causing any obstruction at all). I suggested U3A and other groups to my brother. He got very angry and said he wants me to stop trying to get him to join things. I didn't take any photos of LG yesterday, only a couple of videos. Today must have evoked some strong and sad memories for you. You had such big losses, but you're always still so caring towards others. Nice that Kai is an affectionate boy. Is Yuki more standoffish?

SweetpeaSue You and your husband have done so well today! You'll be aching tomorrow. I'm glad the ibuprofen is helping your DH. I take 2 in the morning for my hip. I ran out of them and hadn't had any for a few days - I really noticed the difference. You must have been so relieved to find your aunt in a happier mood. There will be days when that changes, but I hope she's settling down a bit.

EllieAnne Hope your husband got on alright today.

Apart from the usual boring stuff, I haven't done much today. Decided to leave going to B&M until next week. It warmed up by lunchtime and has been 26 degrees. Quite pleasant. x

HVDY yes my friend is my neighbour too and the person I’m going on holiday with. We get on really well and understand each other.
I don’t suppose your brother would go to a day centre like you do, where he could meet others. He does need company even if he doesn’t think he does.
Wyllow we have a communion service mid week every week. Usually anything from 15 to 22 people turn up. It’s very popular as it’s a bit more relaxed than Sunday. We don’t have hymns but everything else is much the same. Coffee and biscuits after.
Things look better in your Quaker groups too. I hope that continues, glad you found your glasses and keys.
Sweetpeasue it just shows what teamwork can accomplish. You and your Dh completed your task and should be pleased with yourselves. Glad the ibuprofen is helping.
Yes your right my friend (came back this afternoon) and does live on the same floor as me and is the person I’m going on holiday with. I’m very lucky to have her, she’s a lovely lady and it helps that we knew each others DH’s.
Scaredycat what a shame about the perking fine. It’s a huge charge for just running over a little while.
I think I remember from years ago that your Dh comes with you to the graveyard. Is that right? The daisys sound a. Nice tribute. I can imaging the memory of such a traumatic event is still very clear in your mind. Sending a big hug. 💕

Doodle No, he'd absolutely hate it! I'm leaving him to his own devices, apart from visiting him every fortnight. I text him every day. He doesn't like talking on the 'phone. He won't do anything to change his life, so I can't help him any more. When is your holiday?

I've been sorting out things to take for the weekend away - DH and I are going to Sheringham in Norfolk.

Got on ok at hospital but no definite answer. The consultant was a very nice lady but spoke very quickly. It’s probably immune thrombocytopenia where the body’s immune system attacks the platelets. Hes to continue steroid to see if improving and more appointments next week..
We went to the wrong place first. He picks up things wrong on the phone.
He’s very dithery and slow I had to keep telling him where to go.
Wyllow you are right that I feel my world shrinking. I’ve cancelled a friend next week because of his appointment and still don’t know what to do about dd and her cats.
Thinking of you all.

Cats know how to let go and chill better than us. Do they appreciate a fan or are there cooler spots Scaredycat?

Oh I can imagine the need for a lengthy natter with DD to catch up…oh dear….a price to pay for it. You’ve been quite a traveller, haven’t you?

Oh yes, the pleasure of revisiting the happy times photos and places been. Matter more as we get older, I think. I must admit its been the a DH or boyfriends who I’ve been with make it possible for me, I’m not confident alone far from home. I like programmes about far away and history tho.

Those memories can never be eroded -nor would one want it to be? xxx
But with what you went through, I’m so glad you have Kai to comfort after. They understand, happy, loved, cats.

Sweetpeasue it’s not a matter of there being worse people - there always are: don’t let that thought get in the way of asking to get needs met? Let them decide, let them make the choices? It’s always “tablets and talking?”. Are you afraid they will turn you down or tell you to “pull yourself together?

Yes when I ask for help there is always a struggle to know its fair to ask, or to feel its deserved. Practice I guess, of years and years, I am different now, and prepared to be let down.

Hey, well done on today’s work. You are so right about that sense of achievement.
Now, cross fingers and toes, Aunt settling in, feeling “At home” at least with some of the residents at the mini drama.

HVDY It sounds as if the “suggestions” approach doesn’t work for brother. It doesn’t work to well for me in deep depression, I want someone to “walk through the dark “ with me. (That said, I do know what the resources are, like the gym, waiting there and familiar)
So maybe what you do ie the texting and seeing fortnightly is just right.
What I did like helpers doing is just do little things like drawing my attention away from “inside” to a nice tree or decoration or just something….would he go to stuff like a photography show with you?
26 degrees is just the right temperature. Hot but not totally wearing out hot.

I did wonder if it was a mid week communion service, Doodle. A deep experience, connecting, but as you say a bit less formal than hymns and so on - then the natters after.

How extraordinary to find someone on the same floor. I’m so glad for you.

He is beginning to fail isnt he, EllieAnne? It is important not to just cancel friends by change the date, they would understand why.
Dont let your world shrink anymore than it absolutely has to. Xxx. Remember the idea of a decent lap top - that you can access the outside world with in so many ways. Is this viable?

Just watching things on BBC I player and other channels for free.

When is the cat sitting? How long have you to have to decide? DD will have to know how Dad is anyway at some point.

I’m sorry it wasn't really helpful today, but very glad indeed that the consultant was a nice lady.
(It is possible to ring their secretaries up if there is something important you forgot out of what she said. I’m not saying they are all responsive, but many are, and a significant caring question if you are at a loss - I've done it via the hospital switchboard)

Yes, today has been a lot better thank you all.
Yesterday’s agonising in the end resulted in an infusion of surprising love.
Its taken courage to get where I am and the story may not be over but its clear to me now that others no longer expect me to “Carry the can” and I need to avoid any hooks.

Tomorrow I take Quaker friend who has bad bad RA out for a drive, she cant ever get out, its a treat for us both to go into to the High Peak together down little lanes she wants to revisit.

Wyllow I have my iPad and I’m familiar with it and though it’s not big I can watch stuff on it.
He messaged dd yesterday with the info from dr but hasn’t heard back yet. The cat sitting is from8th Aug I think.
I’m praying that she realises there is a problem and arranges something else.
I’m having a coffee with friend on Sunday after church instead.
Next week he has 2 appointments. One is just for bloods so he can go to that on his own now that he knows where the clinic is.i
I’ll go to the one with the dr.
Looks like a nice day here but windy. My grass cutting man comes this morning so the garden will look nice,
Been awake for ages.Ill go to the library later and maybe pop in at my friend.
Have a good day everyone.

Oh, I'm glad you have something to watch things on, and that you will still see your friend. Look like it will take some time to diagnose DH.

Hi all
Wyllow- the cats love a fan and their whiskers blow in the breeze! I too love programmes about history and far away places . Don’t think my DH had ever bothered with history when he was young but I have trawled him through more Castles and cathedrals than you could shake a stick at!!
I do hope you and your disabled friend have had a lovely day .
The hills and dales have such a power to lift your spirits. I used to love Edale years ago when the children were little and we camped.
We saw my Sisters hills on the news the other night. So sad but nature always heals itself.
SweetPeaSue- I was a terrible worrier for most of my life. If it’s a worry you can do,something about then yes try and sort your head a bit . If it is one totally out of your control- put it in the worry bin.
If you feel you need to up your ADs it will only be to help you over this difficult patch - we know they help don’t we!!
Wow that hedge was hard work . We have to have people do it for us now. You must have felt well pleased with yourselves - with good reason.
So glad your Aunt seems more settled. She must feel more at ease with everyone now and each day it all becomes more familiar. Of course there will be times when she is dis

Sorry!
SweetPeaSue- when she is distressed but that is par for the course.
HVDY- Kai is the more outgoing one with a bit more confidence.Yuki is the sweetest soul but not quite so in your face. They,ve had their nails done today and a bit of a tidy up round their pants and ruffs. The lady does my DD 2 then comes here.
Have a lovely time in Sheringham- it’s one of my childhood places. My Grandad ised to take us there in his little,car.its a nice old fashioned place. Cromer is lovely too and just next door.
People were so kind to me and my 2 surviving children - I will never forget it so I try and practice a bit of play it forward- just like you do. Thank you for kind words.
Doodle- your friend sounds such a lovely lady- you will help each other on your holiday . Nice that you knew each others DHs - kind and gentle memories made together.
Yes my DH has always come to the Church yard since we met.
He tidies it up for me now and listens if I need to talk about that time. Thank you for the hug- I love a hug.
EllieAnne- glad the consultant was pleasant- it does help doesn’t it. I think you would feel better if you didnt have the cat sitting to do. Your DD will have digested the news now and have an idea of your dilemma.
Although there is no love involved you would know you had done the best you could for him. Once there is a proper diagnosis you will be able to work out how to proceed.
Make sure you still do the things you enjoy and keep seeing your friends. Your world may be a different shape for a while but it’s a two way problem to solve not just yours - you do enough.

Love to all - Nadateturbe,Purple Pixie,Candy, thinking of you too.

Yuki catching the breeze!!

Hello all, Thought I'd pop on and say hello. I hope you are all well. Xx

EllieAnne* Is that diagnosis made by doing a blood test? I hope your husband will get on alright. Perhaps after the appointments next week, you'll be able to decide on what to do about the cat-sitting. Did you see your friend today?

Wyllow3 My brother might go to places with me, but (and I know it sounds bad) I've got my life sorted out and I'd like him to find friends of his own. His life is very different to mine (he alienates people because of his persona). Hope you and your friend had a nice day out. It's been very warm here (28).

My Son2 and DIL love going to cathedrals, museums and castles. Yuki looks very comfortable there. Jaffa went outside at 5, sat on the patio until 7.30am then came in and slept for about 8 hours! We've been to Sheringham once before. It's like how England was, years ago, which is what we like about it.

Good day at the day centre (they call it a luncheon club). Turkey, stuffing, mash & 2 veg, then banoffee pie. DH went to a pub and had fish & chips. Hope everyone has been ok x

Hvdy there doesn’t seem to be a test for it . It’s diagnosed by low platelets. Results today were good.
I didn’t go out today. Changed the bed did some washing and worked in the garden. Just didn’t feel like making the effort to see anyone. Tonight I am going to a hymn singing event in a local church.

Doodle The mid-week service sounds really nice. I think it must feel very special being a much smaller congregation and more personal somehow. Yes, it certainly was 'teamwork 'yesterday and a little more today-- finished off the other side of it. Too much all in one go. Hope youve had a good day today, and its been cooler for you.
EllieAnne Oh you must have felt a little anxious the other day going to the wrong place. Its a bit nerve-racking racing around to where you need to be and hoping you're not late for the appt. Glad you got to see your friend the other day - its important that you try and keep some of your own life and see your friends. Hope you enjoy the hymn singing event tonight.
HVDY I had to look up Sheringham as Ive never been . It does look a great place with a beach too and a big country park. Glad the ibuprofen is helping you too. DH only took it at odd times like a painkiller but its since I nagged him into taking it more regularly that hes noticed a difference. Oh, nice dinner there at the day- centre.
Nanny2507 Hello - nice to see you in again. I think you moved the last time we heard. I do hope youve settled in now as I know it was such a huge decision for you to make. Hope you still have one of your cats too.
Wyllow Im a bit up and down though down quite a bit. Nowhere near like I was when I was under MH care though. At times when Im really low I get scared to think I might slip back there but I need to believe I can cope- that Im capable - as once I ask for help its a short step to falling back further. Honestly , Im nowhere near how I was but I would ask for help if I really need it. Its kind of you to care.
Hope you had a lovely time on the high peak area with your friend today. Im sure the air must be much fresher now the temperatures have dropped a little. It was almost chilly here yesterday by the sea and overcast though sun has come out today.
Scaredycat You are so right - its pointless worrying about something beyond our control - I need to separate the worries ,as you say, and a worry bin sounds like a good thing to have. I wish it was easy to sort them out though- takes some time to recognise which worrys we might be able to solve? 🤔 and how. Oh what a contented Yuki and how clever to pick that place to cool. Can imagine their whiskers blowing.

Did something today I was dreading and putting off. I needed a photo to send away for my new driving licence as Ill be 70later this year. So make up on , hair brushed and into one of those booths. Result -- very stern miserable face. Well at least its done now. DH said the photo will come back adjusted to black and white - needn't have bothered with the blusher then -- Ill look like a corpse!

Love to all and those not in at present.x

Hi sweet unfortunately I really dont like my new house. Reasons that I won't bore you with. Its actually back on the market. I now have 3 cats! X

Oh Nanny2507 Im really sorry to hear you're not happy with your new home. You must be quite certain , for whatever the reasons, that you cant stay to actually put yourself through another move. Its such a shame as youve been through a lot to get where you are.
Glad about your cats though - they must be good company for you. You must have noticed that there are at least 3 BDs here that have cats in their lives.
Dont think you bore us with anything- sometimes its just good to exchange a few kind words.

EllieAnne I hope the steroids help your husband soon. Do they know what might have caused it? I've got an autoimmune condition (Vasculitis), which the GP said was caused by a particular BP pill, Lercanidopine. Is the weather any better where you are? Hope you enjoyed the hymns tonight.

SweetpeaSue Sheringham is a lovely old-fashioned seaside place, like England used to be years ago. When we went before, we found a lovely Indian restaurant and a great pub for lunch. We'll be having breakfast at the place we're staying. It's a pub/restaurant right on the seafront. Those photo booths don't produce flattering photos. The light is too harsh. My passport photo is awful. I look really old and ugly.

Nanny2507 What a shame you don't like your house. Is it the house or area you don't like? 3 cats! Do they all get on?

Oh Nanny that’s a shame. Did you move to be near your son and family? Where are you planning to move to now? Do you. Still have Binks? Who else?
Sweetpeasue yes we all love our Wednesday service. Just hope our new vicar who ever it is will keep it going.
You have reason to worry about your Dh and his health plus your own problems. If you get a bit depressed it’s understandable. I’m sure you looked fine in your photo. I’m lucky I was able to use the same photo as last time. Several years ago I looked much better than now.
Ellie Anne sounds better news for your Dh. Hope you enjoy tonight’s singing.
HVDY love the sound of your dinner today, I’m getting fed up with being so fat. I can’t understand why I’m not losing weight, Dh and I loved going to those sort of places too. I love castles but prefer the more derelict ones than those still in use, I love to walk in the steps of those that have gone before.
Scaredycat Yuki has such lovely fur. Don’t blame him for hogging the fan. Yes my friend is lovely. I’m very lucky. We do have some laughs together. Love the sound of your worry bin. What a good idea.
Wyllow you sound much more positive today. So good to hear. Hope the Quakers support you and you can relax a bit in their company.