downsizing

I moved this year from a 4 bedroomed detached house which I shared with the husband I'm now divorced from. I am in a lovely little 3 bed semi so with a sofa bed in the living room and 2 extra bedrooms can still squeeze 2 daughters partners and 2 grandchildren in when they visit ( still a bit claustrophobic for Xmas we are all going to DD1 so the grandchildren can stay put to have their presents) . I have brought from the house only my clothes, personal items, and sentimental objects I just can't do without. Exhusband very nasty over me getting what I needed so left all the furniture behind because he put my share in the garage and it's all spoilt. I have been amazed at how I have not missed anything I had to choose quickly what I wanted on the one day I was able to get into the house to pack when he wasn't there. My only regret is the massive collection of paperbacks I had to leave behind, I brought all my professional books with me. As long as you have the special things you can live without anything else. I'm happier than I've ever been living by myself. Sorry a bit off the subject I know but the rest is only clutter I've found. Good luck with your move when it happens and enjoy it.

I downsized to a mobile home five years ago, not by choice, but because I suddenly became single and financial adjustment was urgently required!
Have never regretted it though. This estate is so friendly and so well kept and so beautifully placed in countryside. And it's cheaper to live here.
I'm all for downsizing for whatever reason. It's a new start, a new chapter in life. So, good luck middleagedspread. Go for it!

We downsized a little when we moved here (Devon) two years ago - from a four bedroom detached house with steps up to the front door and on the corner of two steep hills, to a three bedroom detached house. It is more or
less the same only with three bedrooms - and no dining room but that is now in the conservatory. And the kitchen is a bit smaller, but newer.

The garden is easy maintenance, there is a double garage which keeps Theseus very happy, we are very near the sea and to DD. Bliss!

N.B. Gransnetters kept me sane during the selling and buying and the move!

We have already downsized, from a massive old rectory to a 3-bed detached fairly modern house but built in the style of the old Suffolk cottages. However DBH started to convert the outbuildings... I don't clean out there at all though, apart from my utility area and the lean-to that I treat as part greenhouse, part conservatory.

I missed my old house so much at first. The space, the friends nearby, the garden I had made, the immediate neighbours (who actually aren't quite as nice here).

But the house here is so much warmer, easier to clean, the villagers are wonderful and I have made yet another lovely garden. It was also a good chance to try out new decorating styles and colours and go shopping.

AND a big plus - it forced DBH to get rid of years and years' worth of junk, including 32 demi johns and two barrels from when he used to make wine and beer. Now I quietly remove anything that doesn't belong in the house to outside in 'his' space, and when he can't get through to his desk he knows it's time for another clearout. So just be careful what you move to, have a very clear idea what space you think you really need. We can cope as long as DD doesn't have any more GCs. In which case we too are thinking of going down the mobile home in the garden route - which was always touted as an idea in case she and SiL ever separated.

I think that some of the problems with 'downsizing' are more about the perceptions because of the very word.....down as in reducing also down as in depressing. We saw it more as a form of 'future-proofing'. An easily maintainable house and garden, not too far from the children for visits yet far enough for them not to be feeling we are expecting them to act as support workers. Thankfully we are both fit for our ages and can both drive so being out in the country will not be a problem for quite sometime.

Planning for the future is sensible, I would never want the children to have to trawl through attics and rooms full of 'stuff' as we have had to do. Neither do I want to guilt them into dashing about and supporting us. We see what we have done as just making choices whilst we can that has enabled us to live the country life we dreamed about when living in suburbia but, at the same time its ensured we do not burden the children too much.

I think that some of the problems with 'downsizing' are more about the perceptions because of the very word.....down as in reducing also down as in depressing. We saw it more as a form of 'future-proofing'

That is what I got from the op too.
I have had a look for the article, but no luck yet.
I do think the writer did use a word like future-proofing too.

I am an empty nester. Now my kids are starting to take their stuff to their own homes.
I am surprised, shocked might be a bit better word, about how little of the stuff in our house is actually just my hisband's and mine.
On the negative side, our house is a lot emptier.
On the plus side, [apart from I can see that I was more frugal than I thought] I can see that if we do proerly downsize, there will not be as much stuff to move as I previously thought.

Maybe your things will fit easier into a smaller place than you thought middleagespread?

You could do what a couple I know did.
The wife wanted to downsize. They did. But the husband is busy building on a rather large extension!

We plan to downsize in 2016 when DH retires. I am looking forward to it immensley. DH is a terrible hoarder and keeps anything. I have my work cut out trying to limit his buying. A smaller place with only two bedrooms is what I would prefer. Bungalow, house, flat, static caravan, lodge, anything would suit me fine as long as it comes with a good view of the countryside or the sea.
I don't want much, do I?

hildajenniJ.......seems we share a name and the need to see the hills and trees!

Having spent so much time and money building a home we loved it took a while to get out of our heads that feeling that downsizing was a retrograde step.

The DC seldom stayed over, the garden was becoming a chore, we were only really using half the house. It was silly to stay. It took a while to narrow down what we wanted/needed in a home which might "see us out". And it took two years of periodic clearing out splurges to shrink our possessions to a manageable level.

Now the DC love to come and stay - apparently they didn't before as they got upset leaving their old home! Luckily we like caravanning so the 'van acts as a spare bedroom when required. We now live in a small market town with all we need within walking distance. No pretty view - but with people chatting, children playing, an entertaining and interesting one. The house is so much easier to keep clean, bills are lower and I have time to sit in the garden rather than just work in it. I'm glad we moved while we were still fit enough to get out and about, join clubs and make new friends, and get used to our new community.

I should downsize, this house is far too big and not disabled suitable despite adaptations.
But
I have far too much stuff that I can't bear to part with. And where would I get a house that would take the 4 double wardrobes I've filled with clothes that don't fit (but I might slim down into?)
Also I MUST HAVE A SEA VIEW!

But it is such a beautiful house, Galen! I quite understand.

I agree. It's just too big

We have a house ready to downsize to. Hope to sell bigger one this year. We have probably the samish space but differently arranged - no dining room, kitchen diner instead. Bigger sitting room. 3 dbl beds, 1 ensuite, instead of 4 but also a small sitting room with sofa bed and en suite and a small conservatory. No wasteful hall landing spaces.

Hard to really describe, but arranged so that we could live on one floor, if we cannot manage the stairs in years to come.

Unless you buy new, one of the most important things is to make sure the house is really energy efficient and that all repairs etc are done. Good luck. X

We downsized due to our old house needing a bit doing to it, also DH always said "well if your ever on your own etc etc " but I found it one of the worst things we ever did, we moved into much smaller brand new hourse that we never liked, 14 yrs on I'm still here and yes, now on my own, but still too small as a lot of new build seem to be.But it was all we could afford to be able to buy outright, no mortgage etc.

love it.

Wow, thank you everyone who left comments about downsizing. I have read them all, some of them twice, and all in all it has left me feeling very positive about the future. We have now put our house on the market, hence the late responses as I have been very busy cleaning ready for photographs by estate agents. The positives seem to outweigh the negatives and all our grown up children say they will of course visit us with the grandchildren just like they do now. Just need a space for a cot in a spare bedroom. Will miss the dining room which seats 12. (When we outgrew this our eldest moved to Australia thereby creating a space for our next grandchild) I do not think it was his only reason for leaving. Hopefully money in the pot then to go and visit him. This weekend I am swapping babysitting two grandsons in return for second son to remove some of his stuff from the loft. Everyone had a different tale and it was nice to "meet" you all. Thank you and I will let you know if we sell.ps Will definitely be "shed aware" for husband and it seems to crop up on a regular basis.

I am jealous of all you downsizers. My family descend on me willy nilly. I am 5mins walk to the underground (Piccadily line) very convenient for Heathrow. So how can I ?
I also have excellent neighbours, so that is a big plus
It doesnt stop me dreaming though.
I am a Londoner, but lived in west Wales for 12 yrs when the children were young. (LIVING THE GOOD LIFE)
You cant have it all!!!
When in London I miss Wales, and vice versa.

We downsized 18 years ago from "ye olde world cottage" (which needed a fortune spent on it) to apartment living and have never looked back. We lef our 1st apartment because it was situated on a busy cross roads and DH husband couldn`t stand the "noise" and moved to our present apartment which is quiet and friendly. So no more worries about garden, outside maintenance or the communal areas ok we have to pay service charges but IMO it`s worth it for a stress free existence - so middleagedspread don`t be afraid of change it can be really good

anney- if you sell where you are- you'll be able to buy a Castle in Wales- or a really nice house and spend the rest having a ball (yes, leave them a bit too- but not too much ;) ).

We are still in the family sized Victorian house which is lovely but i would like to downsize now, while there are still two of us to work together doing the clearing out and all that. It would be loads better than leaving it to the one who is left alone to cope with. I would dread facing that task on my own.
But i cant get DH to take any interest even in looking at anything else. He loves it here and wont budge.

you can still do the clearing out and all that now. Sil and bil spent 2 years clearing all the accumulated stuff to put their (wonderful) house on the market. Sold it for the asked price (£££££) very quickly- and then ...
just could not do it, as they love the house and location too much.

Well at least they've cleared all that rubbish- now how not to accumulate more will be the trick.

Yes Granjura, I could buy something wonderful in Wales, and it is very tempting. I remindmyself that it rains and rains in the Winter, also I have given up driving.
I would also miss my family and friends.
Noooo I tell myself, too risky at my age.

You could however sell and move to a lovely area nearer to London where your money would go much much further. Depending on the railway station from friends and relatives in London. For instance, from St Pancras we have direct trains that take just 1 hour to our lovely Market Town of Market Harborough- and there are nearer stops where prices are still very reasonable. The East Leics countryside is lovely too, and public transport great. An idea, perhaps? Do you have friends and relatives you could stay in London for a few days from time to time?

Why not have a look at Estate agents for CAmbridgeshire, Northants and East Leics or Rutland (more expensive though), to see what your money would get you- and work out how well you could live with the extra money in the bank?