downsizing

I became an emptynester, and have spent the past year and a half clearing out stuff at my own pace. Another 6 months, and I think I should be completely finished.
I feel a bit lighter somehow.
I have kept some of the bits and bobs that the kids didnt want, but I did! I sort of need to do that, so the house isnt too empty.

Sounbds strange that you had to empty the house for it to feel less... empty. But yes, I do see what you mean. Hope you get used to the 'empty nest'- and how comfortable and uncluttered it is- and find lots of interesting people and things to fill your time with.

I downsized from a large 3 bed house to a one bed flat in a sheltered scheme 6 months ago..I had lived in the house for 46 years and yes it was difficult even thinking about moving but it got to the stage where I couldn't get upstairs, I couldn't manage the enormous garden anymore and it was costing me a fortune for a gardener.
Yes the move was traumatic but I did it and couldn't be happier it was the best decision for me and I don't regret it at all.

Am not downsizing myself but my very elderly parents live in big (rattle around in) 5 bedroom house and keep saying they don't know how my 2 sisters and I will ever manage to clear it out when they die. Is literally packed with everything they've accumulated over 60 years, plus my father's huge workshop/double garage full of every tool you can think of! My sisters suggest either a bomb or a line of skips all down the road!

I find the idea of all the stuff our parents loved- and now that we love- all ending up in a skip! For the tools, they can be sold at the Melton Mowbray cattle market, they have a huge barn for those. I just love old and well loved, well used tools for the garden.

Just read 'The curious incident of the dog in the night-time' about a boy with Aspergers. And talking about faith and the afterlife, he says something that really touched me- something like 'people are afraid to die because they can't stand the thought of all their beloved stuffed being thrown in a skip by their kids' - really got through to me.

Hope you can find a way to give the better stuff for re-use when the time comes- rather than it all ending up in landfill.

House clearance companies can deal with houses full of things that are not wanted. They are very good at squeezing another use out of almost everything they receive. So at least you will know that the only contents to be tipped will be those for which absolutely no one has an alternative use for.

We had to go through EVERYTHING when my DMiL died. FiL dealt with all bills and stuff and she didn't have a bank account. SiL and I understood she had a stash somewhere which she called her running away money. We found around £6000 hidden in knitting patterns, sewing patterns and a bit in her undies drawer. No idea how she managed to save so much but very glad we didn't get the house clearers in!

Same here NfkDumpling when my mum died she had stashes of cash all over the place im sure some was missed when my brother got the house clearance people in...

Another secret stash here! When we cleared my FiL's house we thought it was empty. I just had an afterthought that I would remove the old newspapers he had used to line the shelves in a built-in-wardrobe. Glad I did! There were hundreds of pounds in notes hidden there.

Gagagran DH's Aunt did the same only it was dressing table drawers. It all went to pay for care as she went into care. I'm sure she would have given it away had she remembered it was there!!

We found thousands of pounds in cheques in my uncle's sock drawer. For some reason he wouldn't have his occupational pension paid into the bank but insisted on receiving a cheque each month. This was fine until he got dementia when he began putting them in his sock drawer instead of paying them into the bank. We had to get several cheques re-issued.

We quietly arranged direct debits for all his utilities and had his pension paid directly into the bank. By that time he was none the wiser for our sorting out and, when he looked at his bank statement, that became less frequent, just assumed he had received his cheque and paid it in.

After mum died, we cleared the family home, very carefully and in truth, slowly. We found £6000 hidden in various tobacco and other tins, stashed away in the various wardrobes and draws in mums bedroom. This was despite one of her daughter's having been designated to take her to the bank regularly, to put money she'd been stashing away in the bank. She'd always been a whiz with a small income, especially as we were growing up. How she managed to save so much on her pension (and half of dad's work pension after he died) we'll never know.
We sent everything usable to the Salvation Army, saved lots of things that had sentimental value to us. Including a box of mother's day cards, from each of us, throughout our lives. The three of us daughters agree it was a sometimes emotionally tough time, so many memories to talk through, but a healing time and one during which our own relationships strengthened.

I would advise against going TOO small. If you have been used to a bit of space around you it is hard to suddenly find you have no room for the keyboard or the painting easel. Another thing - make sure there is a Premier Inn not too far away. Then your potential visitors can be directed there if you have no spare room (or want to pretend you have no spare room!).

Great advice- muche cheaper for occasional guests to stay in a nearby Hôtel, even if you pay for them- than having spare rooms which are rarely used, unless, like us, you live in an area where space is cheap, and can shut away part of the house when un-used.

I'd also add to make sure you get a small dry storage unit nearby too- so things like luggage, Christmas decorations, Summer then Winter shoes- etc. Again, much cheaper than have extra storage space within the smaller house, and especially flat.

I started thinking about having to downsize when I came out of hospital last August. I live alone in a 3 bed semi, but started wondering what I will do if I suddenly find myself confined to a wheelchair. I thought if I have made some of the big decisions in advance, I won't end up getting bounced into doing something hasty.

One option is to stay put and get a stair lift, I've no idea how much they cost. If I move, I quite fancy relocating to York as well, but small bungalows tend to be expensive, and too far out of the city centre. A ground floor flat would do, but I'm quite anxious about the prospect of leasehold. I've seen horror stories of landlords putting up ground rent and service charges to extortionate levels, and I couldn't afford that.

My health seems to be settled again for a while at least, so I've lost momentum since September.

Very wise crun- hope you find a way to make it work for you. Tell us how you get on. Where we own our flat, in the East Midlands, several of the flat owners are retired and moved there from Darn Sarf, for a quieter pace of life, but also for excellent facilities near the town centre, great shops, cafés, restaurants and near a train station for fast and regular trains to London, and to maximise their income, as prices are much cheaper. (Market Harborough).

I seem to be the only one who's never been in a position to downsize. For one reason or another we never really upsized properly and our modest terraced house has always been very "cosy", especially when we had 3 teenagers living here! We did convert the cellar to a useable room, which made a massive difference. We used it as a playroom when the family was young, then our DD2 decided she couldn't share a bedroom with DD1 any longer and moved in (I came home one day to find her carrying her mattress single-handedly down both flights of stairs after a massive row!). Now it's full of years of accumulated junk treasures. The house is probably just right for the two of us, but I could do with an incentive to have a good clear out. The impetus just isn't there when you're staying put!

We downsized last year from the 5 bed family home in the country to a 2 bed detached bungalow in the village. It was actually designed as a 3 bed but original owners used third bedroom to create a bigger master bedroom and dining room. The garden is virtually maintenance free and we have a lovely country view from the conservatory at the back despite being in the village. I can honestly say I haven't missed the old house at all. The cleaning - plus large garden to look after - was just getting to be too much. We're very happy here and now I have time to do things I want to instead of cleaning that big house. We have a spare bedroom plus a bed settee in the conservatory and DD1 is only 7 miles away with another spare room if DD2 or DS and families come to visit. DH still has a garage stuffed with his hoard of essential (!) bits and pieces but he's working through it under protest! Our heating bills alone have dropped from £400 pm (oil/electricity) to £150 pm (gas/electricity).Downsizing has been a very positive experience for us.

Maggiemaybe. Having a gradual clear out at your own pace is quite theraputic.

maggimaybe, we still live in the semi our children grew up in. We've extended over the past couple of years, much to the now adult children's irritation. Why didn't you do this when we lived here, we could have had great uni parties.

soontobe, the trouble is that my own pace is very, very slooooooow...

Iam64, that sounds like one very good reason for not having extended earlier!

Exactly

I'm not thinking of downsizing as my house is not too big and is warm and comfortable, near buses, shops and doctors and open countryside.
But I have seen my dearest friend downsize and move from a house to a flat. The result is she never has to walk far, nor climb stairs and has become a couch potato. She says she is happier and I believe her but to my mind it was too early for her. Her husband is like a caged animal bursting with energy for the things he used to do in the old house and which he no longer has to do.

So many comments and nearly all of them positive. Well, we've done it now - we have put the house on the market! We will be right sizing and will have a huge clear out. Already started on the loft. Feeling positive. Enjoying what is probably our last Christmas here and looking forward to finding a new writing corner in my new home. I have decided that if my OH can't sort out his railway OO Gauge and his workshops then I will help him!
Looking forward to being closer, but not too close, to some of my grandchildren and a new challenge.

Hi
I am encouraged by the views given on changing houses to something more suitable. (long winded but I think it is better than downsizing) I maybe will get somthing which is the same size or slightly bigger than each of the houses I have but more suitable. It is crazy for me to keep on two 3 bed houses. I was scared about changing anything but so many people are happy with the changes they have made that I feel it is definitely the right thing to do. My life has changed in so many ways sticking with the old houses may not be the most sensible thing to do. Thank you for your encouragement.
Sugarpufffairy.