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House and home

Domestic division of labour

(34 Posts)
petitpois Wed 02-Dec-15 16:57:50

Who does what in your house? I feel for 14 years now DH and I have the same argument every couple of months. I do ALL the cleaning (he occasionally 'helps' with the laundry (i.e. puts my hand wash only things in the washing machine). He does put out the bins though. And keeps the car topped up of petrol. Also, most of the garden. I also do all the cooking except for special dinners where out of nowhere he concocts the most extraordinary meals. Wish he would do that every night! Is this the same in all households? Think I might suggest a swap where I do the bins and he cleans the bathroom...

Indinana Thu 03-Dec-15 08:46:37

He does the gardening and puts the bins out. We pretty much share cooking, shopping, washing and washing up/dishwasher, though he rarely does the bathroom, or things like cleaning all the books and bookshelves. When it does occur to him that the bathroom might need a clean (about once or twice a year), then he spends the entire day doing it, cleaning minutely into every tiny corner and crevice, taking the loo seat apart to clean thoroughly, emptying the cupboard and scrubbing it and everything in it.
He loves to have a 'project' to do in between other things. His current one is trying to restore my ancient Knitmaster knitting machine. It is a lost cause, the rust has crept in and it needs a bit more than oil to get the needlebed running smoothly again. But he's not giving up yet!
Ironing? Neither of us do that grin

M0nica Thu 03-Dec-15 16:22:36

When DH worked, sorry, is working, he has still not fully retired. He was/is away from home frequently, often at short notice (hours, not days) and for indefinite lengths of time, I became the Housekeeper/ Home Manager, there really was no alternative. I did everything, including going on holiday, without any assistance.

When home DH spends a lot of time mending, adapting and improving every house we have ever owned, including undertaking major construction work. That is why we were able to buy our current home.

Since I benefit from the largesse DH generates by his willingness to jump on planes and travel to far off and sometimes very unpleasant places to do his work. I think we both contribute as much in time and effort to our domestic life and comfort, even though there is a rough demarcation of roles. Both of us cross into each other's territories if needed. DH does cook on occasion and I have been known to repair things in his absence.

Jayh Thu 03-Dec-15 16:52:25

My OH took early retirement at 52. As I was still working then he decided it was only fair that he cooked the meals. The result is that many years later, he is still doing it. I haven't cooked a meal in years now. He also does the food shopping as he is fussy about his ingredients. He does allow me to help with Christmas dinner but not much else. Result- I am now completely deskilled in the culinary department but I don't care. ?
Apart from that, I do the laundry and cleaning and he takes care of the bins. We both do the garden.

Daddima Thu 03-Dec-15 17:33:54

Himself is visually impaired, suffering from a condition known as " dirt blindness".

He will constantly ask what I am doing, and say that the bathroom/ bedroom/ kitchen, doesn't need cleaned. If I gave him a list of what to do, and when to do it, he'd be fine, but it's quicker and easier just to do it myself.

He does gardening, washing, dishwashering, and bed linen changing.

Luckygirl Thu 03-Dec-15 17:59:32

I am the one with "dirt blindness" in our house - and long may it stay that way!

BOSSY1955 Sat 05-Dec-15 06:35:01

My husband works full time. I don't. I do everything in the house and garden and do not mind at all. He brings me breakfast in bed and takes the dogs out for a walk every day.

Bennan Sat 05-Dec-15 09:30:03

Since he retired DH has mostly taken over the cooking, he bakes too, and does the garden. We share shopping, cleaning ( he hoover's), arranging holidays, and looking after the GC. I do the ironing, mainly his shirts, the dusting, bathrooms and kitchen. I also clean the Aga. I do the washing, he runs the dishwasher and is very particular about how to pack in the dirty dishes. We seem to rub along fairly equably - Oh yes, he brings me early morning tea every day, which I really appreciate.

MamaCaz Sat 05-Dec-15 10:09:20

I do:

All the gardening.
All the 'proper' cooking.
All the washing - sorting, washing, hanging out to dry, getting in.
All the cleaning.
All the food shopping.
Clean the inside of the car.
I also work part time and mind the grandchildren up to three days a week, with all the associated work/school run for older one etc.

He does:

Most of the washing-up.
All of the ironing (though most of what needs ironing is his anyway)
Washes the car - occasionally.
Maintains tyre pressures and oil level on car.
Makes lunch quite often as long as its just something out of a tin to heat up and serve with toast.
He only does any unsolicited cleaning if he personally has invited guests to stay, in which case he goes to great lengths to see that their room is extra-clean and welcoming.