Newly Retired

Check out the local U3A in your area, there may be several ones each with different interest groups.
My husband and I have things we like to do together but more interests which are separate makes for a good life.

I volunteer one day a week with the National Trust locally and there are quite a few men who work on the same day. They often take tours around and work in the garden but some just like to work in the house. We talk to visitors these days we don't just stand there all day. We also have social events, meet for dinner (with partners if you wish), teas etc.

Alot of interesting suggestions and advice
Many thanks
Well done to everyone ☺️

I took early retirement 18 months before my husband. I started walking and swimming regularly with a retired friend and caught up with a long lost friend, time to be able to bake as well as being able to take my time over the housework. H took early retirement and was a little worried how to fill his time. He started making model tanks to paint, was able to go running more often, caught up with old friends, worked on our veggie plot and applied for an allotment which we now have. All this combined with visiting friends, having visitors, days out, helping out with grandchildren during school holidays and hollidays, there just isn't enough time to miss working.

Oops! Nest should read 'next', lives should read 'loves'. Sorry! Tired fingers, but you get the meaning I'm sure. (grin)

Voluntary work is definitely the way to go! We have an amazing 'Volunteer Centre' in our small town;in fact it's been voted the best in the East Midlands!
My husband drives a voluntary minibus and takes 'his ladies' on a fortnightly shopping trip to our nest biggest town (and then has to pack them all in the bus together with their many shopping bags!). Tuesday's and Thursday's are lunch clubs and on the Thursday one he helps serve, clear tables, pack up tables etc., All of this he absolutely lives! Ok, so some days he's absolutely knackered (depending what the day has thrown at him) but, it's a good sort of knackered, as he's doing something for other people. Our 14 year old granddaughter goes with her Grampa as many times as she can during school holidays and does as much as her Grampa. She always says, 'I just love old people'! And of course the 'old people' love her!
I do 'books at home', choosing and delivering to people who can no longer access the library for themselves . Of course I spend much longer on this than was originally suggested by the Library Co-ordinater; I have coffee and a chat, but always come away feeling that I have benefited as much, or even more, than my 'clients'.
We don't have a luxurious life style, nor huge amounts of cash, but we still consider ourselves very fortunate, and it's good to give something back.

I am quite in awe of all those who had made no plans about how to occupy themselves ahead of retirement.

I barely drew a breath between working and retiring. I had several hobbies and other interests that could now get the time they deserved and I was catapulted into chairing one organisation and becoming secretary of another.

DH was in the same position. One of his 'hobbies' was continuing to work on an intermittent freelance basis. He is now heading for his mid-seventies and is still working at home or away for about a week or ten days a month.

I note that your husband was a musician. I wondered if there are any special needs schools in your area that he could volunteer some time to. I was recently at my grandsons school for a meeting. I could hear the children happily singing along to the likes of the Hokey Cokey and Knees Up Mother Brown. When the singing had finished an elderly gentleman came out carrying his portable organ.

I always say that when you retire you need to feed body, brain and spirit! Find a variety of activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good. Quite by accident I joined a poetry writing group and never looked back - now I belong to two! It's not brilliant stuff that I write, but I enjoy the process. Like previous posts my H and I both joined the local bowls club - good exercise and very sociable. You need some activities just for you and some you can do together. I LOVE being retired.

My DH retired at 65, I was lucky enough to be offered Early Retirement at 50 (DH health was not good), at first he really enjoyed the garden in between bouts of depression. Finally we decided to "downsize from our large 4 bedroom semi with large garden, sale of house was very fast, on market end of September & moved out 3rd week in November. We had found a property but had to have a week holiday before we could move in - furniture in storage - nightmare. Once we settled in there was lots to do (surprising what you find when you move also good excuse for a clear out!)We had a manageable garden & enjoyed days out & exploring a new area.

Sadly within a year of moving DH was diagnosed with cancer & passed away a few months later.

I moved last year to be closer to DD & GS, they are about 10 miles from where I live. I am having to make a whole new start on my own but have already made lots of friends & there is so much going on in the small town I now live in.

Make the most of the precious time you have together in Retirement & enjoy it doing things you really want to do.

I am glad I had the opportunity to retire early as there was 14 years between myself & DH. We had lots of good times & now I've entered a new chapter in my life

Your husband needs a plan, Zena and he needs to sit down and make it fairly quickly. Ideally, men should plan for retirement in advance, not simply financially but planning what they will do to fill their time. A retrospective plan is the next best thing. If he's reluctant to commit to it, I'm sorry but that's not a good sign and you'll need to help him get a start. It's recognised as bad for a man's long term health, physical and mental, to retire without a plan and face every day as unstructured after being active for so long in the world of work. Their self esteem can really suffer. Kick him out of that chair and hide the TV remote. Make him sit down with pen and paper and make that plan.

Move houes - lots of things to organise, buy and plan.
Spend your winters in the sun.
Do the things you never had time for before - listen to the radio, hobbies etc
And then there is always childcare of the grandchildren!

I have been doing some research locally and it seems that the over 50's indeed seem to be in hiding around here also.
I also notice that a local `club' seems to think that you would want to slip into the (sorry not meaning to offend) art and crafts - lets make a card sort of thing - when indeed there are many who would not want to go along that path.
I too have noticed there's a new routine - and one I don 't actually mind at all.
It's the realising that you have freedom to do whatever you like whenever you like. Plus when working the norm was to say - go to the cinema of an evening or a weekend - now I can go whenever I please and go out for the day during the week when alls in less busy.

Zena510 - I retired nearly 3 years ago and am still trying to get used to it so don't be surprised if your DH feels "lost". It is a very personal thing - there is no "one size fits all" solution.

One thing that I have realised and am working on is creating a new routine for myself. I know it sounds boring but it will provide a "structure" and be less bewildering.

I am also looking into courses that may interest me, but my local U3A (which some people have mentioned) has members that are 10-20 years older than me and I'd rather meet new people of my own age.

I wish I knew where all the retirees local to me and in their early 60's are hiding!

I'm 62 in full time work..DH 68, full time work .i mention retirement ..he just says 'old'..I'm fed up!

It's much more difficult on your own, I wish I had a partner to do things with, I retired to look after my mum and see more of my grandchildren , my mum had a fall the same time I retired , ended up in a nursing home and died the following year. Tried to get back in work with no luck, 4 yrs down the line still at a loss, not enjoying retirement.

Its been very interesting reading the comments.
I indeed do have many other interests and we travel alot.
As a newbie o this site I was dipping my toes in the posting arena !!!!!

I've heard you should try to gradually reduce your hours so that there is no sudden "cliff edge".
I only worked part time (Mon-Fri 9-2pm) to enable me to look after our own children and then grandchildren but, even so, I was conscious of what was I going to do? Especially after 30 years!
I dropped to 3 days a week to job share with a young colleague who was threatened with redundancy.
Gradually my life outside work pushed it out. I started a day time keep fit class. Joined U3A.
When I finally retired completely 3 years ago-unexpectedly because one of the partners of the firm was a bully and turned his attentions to me-it was the best thing I'd done. DH even suggested I send the bully a thank you card!
So apply yourself to retirement as you did to work and find things you can enjoy. There's lots out there.

Thank you Jane!

Is there a difference for retirees between those who were their job and those who worked. So somebody asks what do you do?
One person replies I am a doctor, the other I work in insurance or I work at John Lewis? Or are those of us who love our jobs apprehensive about retirement??

What did your husband do before he retired? I think this will have some bearing on how he adapts to retirement. I am not enthusiastic about retiring at all and I am 68.

When you say"we" it gives the impression that you both retired at the same time. Probably some do adjust easier than others. Though to go from full time employment to full retirement seems to be a total contrast. I believe it is something that Government, Employers, Educational Establishments and the Community could assist with. By supporting, allowing and encouraging an individual to make this huge change gradually. Adjusting and adapting over time may well be a healthier, and happier way to make such an adjustment.

Best wishes to you both, I feel that it takes time for us to find what is important to us, what makes us happy etc. Trial and error can occur along the way. It is a Journy, enjoy the journey. Find new friends, hobbies, pursuits along the way.

Bbbface I think the poster was deliberately trying to come up with boring jobs for her DH to make him go out and find something more interesting to do. Its a shame there isn't an irony/sarcasm emoticon.

My DH was also in a management position and had no hobbies but when he retired he took up a couple of hobbies (golf & music) as well as part time consultancy work. He gradualyreduced hours of pt job over 2 or 3 years and now does no paid work but is very busy with 'hobbies' including being chair of 3 comittees. So I would recommend gradual retirement!

What about joining a local "mens shed" or voluntary work to pass on some of his skills and expertise? That would give a change of scene and something to chat about.