Overstaying lodger!

Anniechip you’ve been far too giving.
Whether this was a 36 year old man or woman it would be wrong.
You did a very kind favour for a friend of your husband, he enjoys the company of a likeminded soul and you don’t.
Time for lodger to jog on.
Tell your dh that’s it time you two reclaimed your home and your relationship. Made room for your dgc to stay over without sharing your room. Shared time with your family and mutual friends and had a few nights out together. In other words behave like a married couple.
Time lodger regained her independence and behaved like a 36 year old single career woman.
Take courage, tell him what you expect and both give notice to the lodger together.
Good luck

Dear me. Has your husband ever thought of YOUR needs? You said “I had to empty a large wardrobe in my second bedroom, clear 2 kitchen cupboards and fridge and freezer space. We agreed on a rent of £300 a calendar month.”
There is no way I would put myself to such inconvenience after just getting straight again for a mere £300 a month.
She is taking the proverbial and has to go.

Get her out ASAP, but then find a nice 36 year old Man who shares your interests and needs somewhere to live for a while.
What would your husband think of that Annie when the boot is on the other foot ??.
I hope that all goes well for you.

Oh dear Anniechip. You have been exceptionally kind and overbearing but the time has come that you must stand up for yourself.
It is not unreasonable for you to give this lady, who must have a skin as thick as a rhinoceros by the way a month's notice.
You need a conversation with hubby and you must be strong and do not be brow beaten. This is an unreasonable situation, stand up for yourself girl!

You are far too trusting Cherrytree, your hubby saying 'the money comes in handy' should have given you the clue. Take control of the remote, and purposely sit there, until you and hubby are ready for bed. This woman is getting away with murder

I didn't mean overbearing, my kindle autocorrect s, I meant that you have been forebearing! As you can tell, this is the first time I have posted and expressed my opinion, so strongly that I feel about your situation which you cannot allow to continue.

Out of idle curiosity I read this post to my DH and asked him what he thought. I had barely finished reading when he said “get rid of her” he was very clear about where this is going, if it isn’t already there.

Good luck, Anniechip!

I think it’s ludicrous that you wanted this woman(younger)in your house at all and being pally pally with your husband!!!!

Sitting up all night watching sport !
While you are up in bed .
!!!!!!
Agree with all posts on here.
Get rid

Strike whilst the iron is hot. Tell your husband that she is going within x timescale and that you are both telling her the following day. Do this, this week. Do not allow any weedling on her or your husband's part. X time means x . Keep us posted. Good luck.

Or you could tell your OH that she has to go as there is a young man that you wish to install in her place!

Hi everyone thank you again for your wonderful support- it’s amazing that absolutely everyone is in agreement on this. For the record she was a colleague of DH not DD. I have told my daughter that I have made the decision to give her notice. She said “well, Dad will probably sulk and want to know why but don’t give in to him”!!! As for anything more than a platonic relationship I am certain that is not the case, they are never alone in the house and even when they are in the lounge watching tv I can hear their conversation. I would love to show him all these supportive comments and if he kicks off- I will! I will certainly let you know the outcome! She is going away next weekend so a perfect opportunity to issue the ultimatum to DH!

It rather sounds as if this lady has paid £300 and acquired half a house plus half a husband! First things first, talk to your husband. Get him to understand your point of view, then you can present a united front when you tackle your lodger and ask her to leave within a reasonable period of time.

Anniechip - do please come back and let us know how this is resolved. We always have someone living with us, but definitely 'my house, my rules' - I wouldn't for a minute tolerate what you have been doing.

Dear Anniechip, PLEASE don’t let this cuckoo in the nest take such advantage of you and your hospitality. She is totally out of order in expecting to burrow into your family life in such a way. It doesn’t sound as if she is paying a reasonable amount for what she expects from you and to expect to use household appliances such as your washing machine ad lib is outrageous, let alone expecting to have kitchen cupboard space provided! Show her the door tonight and make it clear that she can’t take such liberties in your home...Gook Luck!

Jenwren (today 18:44) I think you may have me mixed up with the OP Anniechip!!

Awww Anniechip, you sound a lovely lady with a rather thoughtless husband (at the very least )
I wouldn't threaten 'the lodger goes or I do' that could lead to problems . Rather the lodger goes or you both do .
Please tell her sooner rather than later, and let us know how it goes . You're not her mum , and he definitely isn't her dad ........which is why I'd be very worried

I'd want my house - and my husband - back.

You are very patient but enough is enough. I would explain to her that it was only meant to be a temporary measure and her continued presence makes it more difficult to have your grandchildren staying. I would ask her to start looking for somewhere else and give her two or three months to find something. Tell your husband this is what you are going to do.

As I understand it, a person renting a room in a house that its owners also occupy has no legal right to continue in occupation if asked to leave.

Anniechip, I have read this thread with my jaw dropped almost to my feet.

I am so glad you have decided she has to go. She really does. You have been an absolute saint and I can't imagine how you have tolerated it.

I hope you get your house back to a proper home very soon. Do let us know how it goes. Good luck.

Anniechip you say you are sure it’s just platonic as you can hear them talking whilst you lie in bed well first .... how wonderful is that, lying in bed hearing your husband talking to a young woman in your own home and secondly sex is not the only thing that makes unfaithfulness it is just the end product He is being TOTALLY, totally unfaithful with his time, his interest, his thoughts and his care of you

I m afraid I don’t think this is going to end easily your husband obviously had a friendship with this woman before he invited her to your house now he has had a cosy cosy year he is going to be very used to her company and not at all interested in losing it You are going to have to be very strong and determined and not back down
Why are you putting off doing it till she’s away will you really not get an opportunity to talk to him before? Or is this a delaying tactic on your behalf because you don’t want any confrontation ?
Show him this thread or invited us all round ?

I've only just read this thread and am amazed that its got this bad. Are you a woman or a wimp? Whether or not your DH is having a full blown affair with this woman, he's treating her like wife No 1 while you're the second wife picking up the crumbs - literally by the sound of it - do you do her ironing yet? And why has she not got a man of her own? Time to assert yourself. And definitely don't leave them on their own. Can you not learn to love football? (Or pretend to). Stay with them. Keep asking what the rules are and why was that a foul. etc. Be a nuisance, be noticed. Your DH is taking you for a doormat. Stop being invisible and reclaim your house and your husband.
Good luck.

Just read the remark that you can hear them talking when you're in bed! Oh my Goodness! That means she can hear you if she's still up and you're ......! That is, as my DGDs would say, too grooosss!

Luckygirl love it!

Reading through again , your husband was made redundant so longer even works with this lady , so technically she's not even a work mate in need of help ?
I'd enlist your daughter to stand with you and explain to your husband and lodger that there's been gossip, and it simply isn't acceptable that your beloved grandchildren have nowhere to sleep

I completely agree with everybody! Please keep us updated. Good luck and be strong.

Show him this thread or invited us all round
A formidable posse of grannies, that should sort her out