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House and home

Overstaying lodger!

(480 Posts)
Anniechip Fri 09-Feb-18 22:10:26

Hi everyone,
I don't post very much but always read the very interesting topics, such great advice on many things, which leads me to this topic.
8 or 9 years ago my husband met a young lady through work. She is the same age as our DD- 36. They (DH and female) are both big rugby and football fans so had a lot in common. She started coming round to watch matches, stopping for tea etc chatting about this and that. A nice enough person who I chatted to about cooking,holidays etc general life 'stuff'! Her family live away but she has a very large social circle.
Last March she told us that she was going to have to move out of her rented house that she shared with another female as the owner had sold up. She had a month to find somewhere alternative. We live in a 3 bed terrace, both our children have families and houses of their own.
DH asked me if she could move in with us 'for a few weeks' until she found somewhere.
Reluctantly I agreed but really wanted to say no, I felt under pressure as she was having no luck finding anything.
12 months previous to this our DD, her husband and 15 month old who had been living with us for 18 months, saving for their own place, had moved out and I was just about getting my house back to what I wanted it to be.
So....... The lodger moved in lock stock and barrel.
I had to empty a large wardrobe in my second bedroom, clear 2 kitchen cupboards and fridge and freezer space.
We agreed on a rent of £300 a calendar month.
Now she is becoming far too comfortable and complacent.
Leaves washing in the machine for a couple of days or on my dryer in the back room, coats over dining chairs, shoes in the hallway, dishes in the sink for a couple of hours, etc etc.
Now I feel it's time she was moving on. My dGC like to have sleepovers but have to sleep on an air bed in our room instead of a nice comfy bed in their own little room.
The back room is my 'office' so no room for a bed.
I want my own space back but unfortunately my husband sees no wrong. If anything his life has been enriched as night after night they sit and watch sport and chat endlessly. I end up in the dining room or upstairs in bed!
AIBU to say it's time now? I want my house back!!
DH doesn't think there is a problem and says we need the money- he was made redundant in June after 18 years in the same job, but has since found another so we are both still earning.
I would willingly give up the £300 a month to have my life and house back! Any ideas on how to get rid?!

Anniechip Tue 13-Feb-18 21:40:13

Me again- phew that went well!! She actually said that she had been thinking it was time she was looking for somewhere else!!
We said out by Easter please as my son and family are coming to stay and this is the first sleepover our granddaughter has had in our house- all perfectly true.
Isn’t it strange that you can dread having a confrontation and it turns out much easier?!
Thank you once again everyone- I don’t think I would have done it without your support. Next post will be when she has gone and I am looking for ideas for all my extra space!! Xx

Niobe Tue 13-Feb-18 21:53:56

Well done Anniechip! Enjoy your home again!

Jane10 Tue 13-Feb-18 21:56:43

Brilliant! Well done. You can look forward to having your home to yourselves maybe even sooner than you thought.

SpringyChicken Tue 13-Feb-18 21:58:33

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

janeainsworth Tue 13-Feb-18 22:08:59

Good job anniewinewinewine

Mapleleaf Tue 13-Feb-18 22:14:13

Great, Anniechip . Wonder if she’s seen this thread!! ?

mimiro Tue 13-Feb-18 23:03:11

why all the excuses?its time to go-- and if dh doesnt like it he can go too.--
its your home

Jalima1108 Tue 13-Feb-18 23:03:19

Well done anniechip - and I think she needs to find somewhere else for her own sake too, to mix with younger people and have a social life.

Keep us updated and make your plans for Easter!

Eloethan Tue 13-Feb-18 23:11:44

That's good news anniechip.

Peardrop50 Tue 13-Feb-18 23:38:59

Congratulations Anniechip, enjoy making plans for your extra space and nice cosy evenings with your hubby. Well done

mymadeupname Wed 14-Feb-18 00:00:51

Wonderful news, anniechip - I'm so pleased.smile

jenpax Wed 14-Feb-18 08:24:43

Well done Anniechip it’s not nice having difficult conversations but sometimes they are harder to think about than to have

Blinko Wed 14-Feb-18 08:46:03

That's what I call a Result! wine

Moongazer912 Wed 14-Feb-18 08:48:24

I’m so pleased for you. Time to get your life back. Xx

jusnoneed Wed 14-Feb-18 08:48:29

Well done on sorting it out.
Maybe buy some paint to redecorate the room she has been using, tell her you want to get the room sorted for your family, then leave it where she will see it every day to remind her to get herself out of your way lol.

Oldwoman70 Wed 14-Feb-18 08:54:52

Well done! Perhaps as you and your husband were able to present a united front made her realise the jig was up!! I very much doubt she was "thinking the same" but who cares as long as she goes!

Nanabilly Wed 14-Feb-18 09:24:48

I bet you feel as if your life is about to restart. Well done . Enjoy making those plans and your first sleepover in your newly regained room.

loopyloo Wed 14-Feb-18 09:29:43

Well done Anniechip, Great news, do keep in touch. It inspires me to be a bit pro active about life.

harrigran Wed 14-Feb-18 09:29:47

Great, if it happens. She may start with the excuses as it gets closer to the leaving date, where else is she going to find such a cosy set up ? Hold your nerve Annie.

Telly Wed 14-Feb-18 09:54:09

Good, but I would keep on her case though. Ask her how it's going, look for evidence that she is actually viewing places. Make it clear she will have to make alternative arrangements even it if is a Premier Inn or a BB.

eazybee Wed 14-Feb-18 10:12:44

People always surprise you, don't they! Perhaps all three of you were secretly hoping for a way out.
Glad that it appears to have ended amicably.

Apricity Wed 14-Feb-18 10:42:49

What a great outcome. An army of virtual Grans can be very powerful. I like the idea of redecorating the room- a sort of cleansing.
Anniechip you should be really proud of yourself. You tackled something really hard, that you were dreading doing and you got a great result. (Just make sure she goes.)
Well done. ???

OldMeg Wed 14-Feb-18 11:00:16

‘An army of virtual Grans’. Interesting visual image.

Formidable ???

Cherrytree59 Wed 14-Feb-18 11:06:54

Bravo!
wine

Kittye Wed 14-Feb-18 11:11:14

Yes well done!