Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

Had a very stressful day. Only just got myself back together. My estate agent called my buyers suddenly decided they want to exchange on Friday and complete on 19th. Phoned my solicitors she was annoyed it came via the estate agent also my buyers solicitor has asked for more information. My solicitor has be trying to speak to her for a week and a half with no joy.
The solicitor my buyers are using is the same my first buyer used she caused problems then. My first buyer pulled out not because of any problems with my house but she didn't get half of her house from her husband she was divorcing. My second buyers solicitor was very efficient. She pulled out because her brother was going to let her use his share of the sale of their fathers house with her share to buy here and then pay him back when she sold her house. He changed his mind and wanted his money.
My solicitor couldn't get hold of their solicitor today.
Back in limbo yet again. I can see it all falling apart again. Because of the stress it makes my physical problems worse. My arms had been jerking like mad my balance has been off and it affects my speech. Hate to think what tomorrow will bring.
Don't know if I can go through all this again. Seriously thinking about selling to one of these companies who buy any houses. As I need move closer to the family.
Help.

Whiff
I am so sorry that you are suffering because of bloody solicitors (that's my polite description)
Like many others here ours put us through hell.
In desperation towards the end of 'negotiations' (ha ha) I made it my business to find out where our buyer lived.
By this time I was desperate and knew in my heart that the only way to clear this impasse was for me and her to sort it out face to face.
I wrote her a letter, delivered by hand and then she phoned me. We sorted it. OH was furious because as he said: your paying these bastards (sorry language) thousands and your doing their work for them. But it was the only way to get things resolved.
I'll admit to having really dark thoughts about both solicitors.
I wish you well in this awful time. Because I know it's bloody awful.

Hello everyone again,

Thank you for your welcome to this thread, & I’m sorry I haven’t been back before now, but the last couple of days have been spent talking to our solicitors & agent etc.

We have now discovered that the solicitors & builders have concocted this ‘ back stop ‘ date of 29 November. Have any of you ladies come across this before? It is certainly a new one to us. Our buyer has reluctantly agreed to this, & we should - fingers crossed - be exchanging soon. So hopefully we will be moving as planned in September.

We are having our removal company pack simply everything up for us. Apart of course from the necessities that will go in the car with us & a bottle of gin!

Off to another ‘dump ‘ run tomorrow. The complete contents of the loft went to the dump on Saturday - 20 years worth of files & EP’s & LP’s & teddy bears!

I will update as necessary.

Whiff

I really do feel your pain. We have just had 2 days of solicitors etc & the stress is incredible isn’t it. By the end of it I hardly knew my own name, & just went into meltdown.

You need to try & take time out & relax, otherwise you will just burst. I have been taking it out on my lovely husband , & it certainly isn’t his fault. He is very cool, but bottles everything up which isn’t good, as he suffers from mental health problems. Please look after yourself.

I feel for you craftyone. We bought this house 25 years ago. I swore I'd never move again after the stress of buying and selling. It's far too big for us now but I just can't cope with the thought of moving. It will pass. You will look back and wonder how you made it through, but you will manage it.

Just off to bed and thought I'd drop in - I'm speechless at your situation Whiff. Can buyers do that, give ten day's notice? I'm sorry it upset you so, how can their solicitor be unavailable for so long?

Glad for you boho43, phew!

Off to bed, roofer coming at 9 am. Feeling scared at the cost of repairs, but can't risk any further damage to the bedroom and bathroom ceiling. Wish I could win the lottery and get the whole lot reroofed!

Night night x

Oh whiff somehow to have to relax a little bit, got to get some of that cortisol out of you. My buyers solicitor played me too, the 51 questions, most of them senseless. This is the worst time for you, worse than finding a buyer, packing up or anything else

Your estate agent does have an important role to play,mine was the middle man, they often have a legal secretary who is the one who gets in touch with the buyer, to try and even out the bumps. It was my EA who got the exchange date sorted and who found out where the hiccough was. The solicitor just did the paperwork. Whiff have another chat with your EA rather than solicitor, ask her exactly what is going on. In the meantime do try and get a removals company pencilled in, that will give you a little peace of mind

hello minniemoo, welcome. My stress is over, I have moved and am happy in my new home, liking my house and my neighbours and am nearly sorted enough to be joining things locally. The stress that whiff is going through is at the cumination point, even worse than my stress was at that time. She will need us more than ever right now. We are invisible but we are real and the safety net that I found on here enabled me to let a valve blow, to release some pressure and most definitely it helped me survive. Just being here for each other, when it is most needed

Thank you all very much for your support. I couldn't do without. Sharing all my worries with you has meant I haven't worried my children I know they will be furious when I tell them want has happened, but as you all know being a mom you just want to protect your children. My estate agent tried to steer my buyers from using their solicitor as she was my first buyers solicitor and caused no end of problems. But they had used her before for something. My second buyers solicitor was very good and got on with everything. My own solicitor is very good and gets on with things. Why can't they all be the same.
I am going to get in touch with my removals company today. I miss my late husband everyday and things happening like this just make it worse even after 15 years of being on my own. Just have to wait and see what today brings. Thanks again to you all. You are life savers.

Let us know Whiff, I hope your EA can help, sending positive thoughts

Everything is ready to on my house and the bungalow. But my buyers solicitor has to answer some questions for their buyers solicitor. I have organised the removers hopefully I get the go ahead tomorrow. Just have to wait and see.
Hope everyone else is having better luck.

Fingers and legs crossed Whiff, let us know! My neighbour downstairs is my solicitor, I have a feeling it could be awkward but I'll ride that storm when it comes.

I have had a lucky day, the very lovely roofer came at 9 am as promised. Not good news about my bedroom ceiling as it is the flashing leaking around the chimney and will require a different specialist and scaffolding, but he found and fixed the damaged roof over the annexe for the very small sum of £120.00. He spent ages lifting up the tiles until he found the problem - a bodged shorter tile had been used. I gave him an additional £40 and said to go for a meal with his wife - I gave him a sandwich at lunch time and he told me he had leukemia Three years ago he had pneumonia and couldn't recover his strength after many months, and finally a doctor sent him for blood tests. Poor man, he caught chicken pox again a few weeks back, had to be hospitalised, his immune system is so weak. He said my survey was very harsh, he felt that my main roof was still OK, I had 'queen' grade slates and 7 mm leading which was the best, and complete replacement for both would be £30K.

So, off to Morpeth tomorrow with my daughter and taking my winter boots to be reheeled, whilst she gets her phone contract renewed. It's one of my 'scary' drives and I have to go on the back roads, but I can just about manage it. I'm going into M&S to buy some treats, I love their round french bread, tastes like bread from the old days.

Will come on lunch time ish to see what's happened Whiff, positive thoughts!

Mosaicwarts. Glad the roofer was nice and was able to fix part of the problem at what seems to me a very reasonable price. At least you know what has caused the problem with your ceiling. Sad to hear about his health problems bet he isn't that old. As I always say their is always someone worse off than me. No matter how much money you have you can't buy health or happiness.
Hope you have a good time with your daughter. Fingers crossed I get some good news today. Hope everyone else is having some good luck. Will keep you posted. This forum is keeping me sane.

Phone solicitor. This is what you pay them for.

Whiff. Have been thinking about you while resting after lunch. We try to pack and sort in the mornings, and rest in the afternoons; there are 2 of us, goodness knows how I should cope alone. Both EAs seem to know more than the solicitors. I took my remaining Chalet School reprints to the National Trust bookshop on Wednesday, and told them I might take my Poldark series. Sorting through today, I realised I have already given them the Poldarks, along with a complete set of Miss Reads. Memory is going. I don't think I can part with the rest of my Cornish books though.

Riversidegirl, I've started forgetting what I've decluttered, I'm taking a photo on my phone now so I stop searching!

Good luck with your packing, we are doing a car boot soon to try and get a bit of cash, I'm finding my teacher's pension just isn't stretching. Still four years to wait for my state pension, when I'm 66.

We have found our estate agent to be far more helpful that the solicitors - what do they do for their money?

Riverside, we are doing another car boot tomorrow morning - the fourth one ! What doesn’t sell will go straight to the dump. What a good idea to take pictures, I never thought of that.

We should be exchanging contracts early next week, but no one can give us a completion date. That apparently will be 1 or 2 weeks before the event! How is one supposed to book the removals? We have given them approximate dates, but how long is a piece of string. Something else to stress about.

Thinking about you all .

Riversidegirl. Thank you. Spoke to my solicitor today. She is all set to go for the bungalow and this place seems my buyers solicitor hasn't got her ducks in a row. Yet they are the ones pushing for the dates. If everything is ok Monday we may be able to exchange contracts and complete Friday. Just have to wait and see. Removals all booked and paid for, I have taken out all the insurances including the cancel /postponement one.
Because I was packing on my own I started July last year after I had my offer on the bungalow accepted. I was all packed , rubbish gone and all the furniture I didn't need either gone to charities or relatives. By end August as I was supposed to move September. My 2 spare rooms are all boxes. When Steve from Pickfords came to see me in February as I should have moved March. He paid me a nice complement saying he had seen anyone so well organised for years. All my boxes have what's in them and were they need to go. I have even put my name on them.
I found getting rid of a lot of stuff very freeing . Most of the boxes in the attic went to the charity shop without even opening them . As they had been up there for 20-15 yrs and my thinking was if I didn't want it all this time no point in wasting time looking at the things.
Hope everyone else is having more luck with their moves.

Roll on monday, everything is crossed for whiff. I was so neat and tidy when I started to pack, numbers on boxes and inventory in a book. I reached a point of anything going in any old box and then had to untangle it all when I moved. I don`t know how long it will take before I am properly sorted, maybe a year or more ahead

I love how my house is clean and tidy, now there is only me. I went to do an overnight child sit at DDs and tbh they have busy lives and far different standards to me. I had to stop myself doing a clean and don`t mention the dust and the dogs and the lack of food store. I was so glad to get back, obviously my home has turned into my nest

Whiff
We have today signed our Land Registry doc & had our signatures witnessed, so perhaps things are happening at last. Supposed to be exchanging contracts next week too.
But we still have this problem with the builder backdating to the 29 November. A safeguard for them. Everyone thinks that we should be in in September . I will believe it when we are!

We haven’t many boxes packed up, as we are going the easy route & having the removal company packing for us.

Did our last car boot today - everything left now is going to the dump. At last!

I am well organised though. Every piece of furniture etc has a luggage label on saying where it is going in the new house.
The few boxes I have packed all have ‘ instructions ‘ !

I wish you well & hope you have a stress free week. Good luck.

Boho43 and Craftyone thank you for your support. Since I had the cleaning firm in March last year I have become a clean freak. Especially since all my excess furniture etc went and most of my things are packed ready to move. When I stay at my daughter's whilst she is out at a playgroup I clean . It's not a criticism on her cleaning as before they had my grandson it was spotless but you know what it's like when you have children they have to come first. My son has 3 dogs they aren't allowed upstairs. I am always covered in dog hairs there. So before I leave I brush down with my sticky roll and pet hair brush. Both my children have busy lives. I have a lot of time on my hands. Living on my own I like things done a certain way and can please myself when I eat etc.
You are so true when you say your home is your nest Craftyone.
Boho43 please don't get your hopes up now you have signed the land registry doc. I did that with my other 2 buyers and did it 2 weeks ago with my buyers I have now. Until the solicitors exchange contracts your buyer can pull out and not even give a reason. It's heartbreaking when that happens been there twice and got the tee shirts.
Hope we all have good news tomorrow but I 'm not holding my breath.

I had to force myself to get off my backside earlier, was just getting hotter and hotter sitting in my leather recliner. I had been to the allotment, watered plants here and tweaked some bits for my patio areas, so I wasn`t being lazy. I am just well aware of time being robbed from the future

I did the airing cupboard, it is small but I packaged anything woollen into moth-proof plastic zipped case-type bags, all from lakeland for moving. It looks neater but I was gasping for a cold drink, so here I am again. I only have one major room left to sort, the sewing room, the room which is almost as big as my bedroom, which is not big for a double, not today, now I have done enough. Once that room is done then I can tweak to my hearts content and maybe at last, do some crafting, except it is too hot and humid for anything

Heard this morning I wouldn't be moving this week. Hopefully exchanging contracts though. Fingers and toes crossed . Have been assured that my buyers and their buyer are not going to pull out. I just want the security that exchanging contracts can give. Been a very upsetting morning. Good job I took out cancellation / postponement insurance for the removers. Told them to hold on to the money as I hope I will move soon.

Fingers and toes crossed Whiff, so sorry you are having such a rotten time. Why were you given the wrong information and made to wait all weekend for answers, it's just appalling. We should start a petition to change the law, such a nightmare for everyone. Take care and try to relax, I've been to the doc this morning and my blood pressure is raised for the first time in my life.

Just heard I have my very first viewing tomorrow, all my routines have gone to pot with my daugher home so I've got to get going. Don't feel like it in this heat at all!

fingers and toes crossed here too, for whiff and mosaics and lets hope that the EA has done the proper sifting for mosaics

That last room is now done, to a point, on the surface. Everything has gone away amd the main body of each room looks tidy now. I have a lifetime to tweak but now my sewing things are handy enough. I worked out that I could have managed with 2 bedrooms if I did not have such space -occupying creative hobbies

It took me the whole day from 6.30 this morning, with the shutters shut to block the fierce sun. Bear in mind that east/west is very sunny if you have a through room with a window at each end, excessively sunny and hot without measures to block the sun. My neighbour who is south/north is much cooler because the sun is so high, it is not coming into his house and only the far end of his north facing garden is sunny

I managed to take out a keyboard shelf on runners from a desk, which I now use for a sewing area, a year ago I added a shelf onto the back with L shaped brackets and could not get that keyboard shelf out from the kneehole area, I managed today, better for sewing. I also have a horn hideaway in there and my armchair looks fine, so I will spin in there too

I hung a large framed photo of an ethereal wood in the elan valley and screwed 3 hooks on the back of the door, one to hold my special cloth circular needle holder and 2 for my perspex shapes and rulers. Drilling is satisfying