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Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

(673 Posts)
craftyone Thu 21-Mar-19 07:52:20

I have a bad stress headache today, never normally get headaches. I am buying a new house before selling my own, at least that was the plan. There has been a buying hold up, caused by waiting for sight of an important document. All in all 3 months has turned to 8 months. Just waiting for one document, which was `in the post` to nhbc

My buyer, february viewings, is starting to lay on the pressure. I had 25 extra and difficult questions to answer yesterday, some relating to building planning dating back to 6 years before we moved in, a new build.

The whole idea was that I would complete on my new home and move in stress-free, a bit at a time. I will definitely not move to rented. I had a string of people wanting to buy my property and will delay my buyer if needed

The stress is awful, widowed, doing it all myself and even with a good solicitor, I am churning up inside after yesterday`s questions

mosaicwarts Sat 20-Jul-19 21:36:11

I did google the 'Key' equity release company and apparently could release up to £188K. I did put my phone number and a few details in to see what would happen - less than an hour later received a phone call. I explained I want to leave an inheritance, didn't like the idea of the compound interest mounting up, and the young lady was very pleasant. From what I read they are a broker.

Let's play a game. What would you do with £188K? I'd get my roofs and windows repaired, as well as a brand new boiler and radiators. Then I'd plan a world trip to the places I still really want to see - the Amazon, the Galapagos Islands, Madagascar, Belize and Moscow. Then I'd spend a few weeks in the Seychelles where I married Steve 34 years ago. When I got back I'd be very content to volunteer somewhere I felt valued, and just pop over to Europe occasionally. My poor kids, I haven't given them anything!

Whiff Sun 21-Jul-19 08:46:50

Mosaicwarts. I know what you mean about the m&ms. My down fall is toast,spread and honey. Hope you enjoy the slimming club. What would I do with £188k. Knowing me keep a little for a trip on the orient express and the rest would go to my children and grandsons.
Please be careful if you are thinking seriously about equity release. They make it sound so easy but there are a lot of pitfalls. Your family may even end up owing them money.

Craftyone I have been mentally ready to move since last year when I put my house on the market. I read your first message again when you started this thread. You have come a long way . My hat goes off to you. Hopefully I will be like you soon and setting up my new home.

mosaicwarts Sun 21-Jul-19 09:13:05

Hi Whiff, mmm, toast and honey, there's an idea! I watched a programme about medication recently and honey is such a valuable 'medicine' isn't it, we must look after our bees. Last bag of m&m's tonight with Poldark, then no more choc until Christmas. My tum is so big I'm uncomfortable sitting now, it has to go!

I do feel mean I spent all the money without giving any to the kids, ha ha! I'm definitely not doing equity release, I was just curious as people had been discussing it on here.

Beach in a minute and then the dreaded hoovering downstairs when we get back, I have to leave my dog in the car as he hates it.

Will start the blood pressure monitoring tomorrow, I've also got hip exercises.

Daughter is back later tonight, I've got a mental block on what to make for tea as she wants more vegetables in her diet. Sounds funny coming from a vegetarian doesn't it, my diet has become too limited and I need to find a recipe. Veg lasagne might do it!

SueH49 Sun 21-Jul-19 10:07:49

I've been following this thread since it started and am constantly amazed at the issues those selling are having.
I'm in Australia and about to embark on this exercise albeit circumstances are a little different. We have a 7150 square metre (approx 2 acres) block with an old house which we renovated some 30 years ago. We have spent the last two and a half years dealing with our Local Council in order to obtain a subdivision and development permit. Council originally last September refused our application on what we were told by one of their planners was a political decision. We went to the Civil and Administration Tribunal and eventually won the case and were granted the permit subject to Council's conditions being met. That was four months ago and the Planner dealing with the issue has continually brought up new issues which need to be addressed in order to have the plans endorsed so we can sell. He seems to raise an issue, which takes time to fix, that goes back to him and he finds another issue and so on. Why he could not have listed all the issues at the same time and we could have got the changes done together before re presenting the plans is beyond me. I guess this is someone playing power games and I'm convinced it is because he was hauled over the coals at the tribunal for not complying with the guidelines of the tribunal. Two weeks ago what we think should be the final hurdle was presented to Council on the assurance that all would be finalized on presentation. Hopefully this week will see it all done and dusted.
When we have the plans endorsed the property will go on the market, however, as the house will be demolished there will not be any viewings to deal with thankfully.
The system here seems so much more structured. Basically the property is listed and a deposit paid, usually 10% or 20% and held in trust when the offer is accepted, usually subject to finance or a building inspection being approved within a very short time frame such as 14 days. Once this time is up and all acceptable the contract is binding. This also states a settlement date usually 60 or 90 days for domestic but can be anything agreed by vendor and purchaser. If the purchaser pulls out after this time they forfeit their deposit to the vendor.
While I'm sure the system is not foolproof at least we have a locked in time for settlement and we can be pretty sure the purchaser will not pull out at the last minute. In our case a deposit of almost half a million $ would be forfeited if the sale did not go ahead.
In our case developers usually want a settlement of 2 years because that is the time they expect it to take to get their permits through the Local Councils and the contract would be subject to that happening. This is why we have spent the $'s (many of) and time in obtaining the permit as it should allow us to get settlement much quicker although we will ask for 6 months to give us time to find something else. 10% of the property value may be released to the vendor to purchase a new property if required.
Hoping that within a couple of weeks we can have the house on the market. An advantage of selling to a developer is that the time of the year is not as important as selling to a private buyer. Being winter the weather does impact on residential listings.
I hope all of those selling in the UK have a great week ahead with some really positive outcomes.

mosaicwarts Sun 21-Jul-19 14:47:00

Wishing you the very best of luck SueH49 - what a journey! Where will you be moving to?

SueH49 Mon 22-Jul-19 04:34:00

Thank you for your best wishes mosaicwarts. It really has been an experience and I'm so fortunate not to be doing it on my own like so many others are.
Will probably buy in the same area as we are in now - South Eastern suburbs of Melbourne in the foothills of the Dandenong Ranges. The challenge will be to find something suitable and that hubby and I agree on. We have lived here for 38 years.

Whiff Mon 22-Jul-19 07:34:11

SueH49 just read your post with great interest. I thought my moving was taking a long time. Some people can be pretty as that planner seems to be. They always seem to be in position of power. Hope everything goes smoothly from now on and you and your husband can fine a new home. Some where to make new memories.
My daughter in law was born in Australia. Here family came to this country when she was 2. Her family went back when she was 18 she didn't want to go as she was with my son. Her sister works for the emergency services and her brother is a pest control out there.

Whiff Mon 22-Jul-19 07:35:06

Meant to say pest control officer.

craftyone Mon 22-Jul-19 10:31:46

you ladies, you have incredible mental strength, yes ok there are mental wobbles but you say it, then you dust yourselves down and stand tall. I hated fridays when selling, knowing that nothing would happen until monday. Another dawn today and full of hope as always

Grammaretto Mon 22-Jul-19 10:40:33

I read your post in awe SueH it doesn't get much more long drawn out than that. What is wrong with some people! A bit of power and a chip on their shoulder doesn't make for easy negotiations.
It reminds me a bit of when we moved here and had to meet the fire regulations. We put in a fire escape window but the inspector refused to pass it as it was deemed too narrow for a wide person to escape through so we had to remove it and begin again.
It is in the attic! There is no way that anyone upstairs would try to use that exit even if they knew about it. However, who am I to argue.
Good luck and fingers Xed for the last hurdle.
I also have 2 cousins in Melbourne. A great city!

Whiff Mon 22-Jul-19 11:09:10

Craftyone your posts always make me smile. Heard from both my solicitor and estate agent this morning. I signed all the paperwork for exchanged etc 3 weeks ago. My buyers buyer signed on Tuesday. My buyers have not signed yet. Their solicitor is insisting that they sign in front of her. She can't see them today. Tomorrow they go on holiday. They get back early on the 1st and are going to sign then . Hopefully we can exchange on 2nd and complete on 9th. My solicitor left the papers with the reception and she witnessed my signature. Why on earth can't they do that at their solicitors?

Just having a moan. Hope everyone else is having a good day and has the sunshine. Forecast 30c for here tomorrow.

craftyone Mon 22-Jul-19 12:01:02

power mad solicitor whiff. I signed in front of the secretary too. Imagine living with that control freak solicitor.

Grammaretto Mon 22-Jul-19 12:12:30

solicitors have a lot of holidays it seems to me! angry

Whiff Mon 22-Jul-19 12:56:03

Have you noticed solicitors don't call them holidays but they are going on leave!

Grammaretto Mon 22-Jul-19 15:21:18

Out of office

Ellianne Mon 22-Jul-19 15:49:33

Whiff can I ask how you are expected to book removals and sort out everything with just a week between exchange and completion? We haven't dared book anything incase things go wrong. Fingers crossed for you.

mosaicwarts Mon 22-Jul-19 16:09:59

Hope everyone's had a good day ... just had a call from the EA. From the sublime to the ridiculous, they've booked in three viewings for Friday!

Having a hard time decluttering my art collection .. just prints, no masters! I just love pre raphaelite art but have managed to put 11 pictures in the hall way to take to the car boot. My reasoning is that I didn't hang them, so I won't miss them. Might end up taking the ones that are hanging out of their frames too, will I have enough wall space when I move? Bit hot and bothered here but too windy for a dog walk smile

Grammaretto Mon 22-Jul-19 16:31:58

Ah goodie. 3 viewings for Friday. That's great news. Perhaps they'll come at once so you can go out afterwards. Fingers Xed for you.

craftyone Mon 22-Jul-19 19:18:35

oh thank heavens mosaics. All on one day is good

Whiff Mon 22-Jul-19 19:42:38

Ellianne I have been packed since September. What I have left will be packed in 3hrs. All ready sorted out with Pickfords and paid for. Since the end of August I have had lists to who to contact as soon as we exchange contracts with my change of address. The folder with all information about the house and keys for the new owners all labelled has been ready also since August. Taller members are all ready to clean the cupboards I can't reach. Boxes of cleaning stuff etc and what needs to go with me in the car ear marked. I don't drive so one of the children will fetch.
Pickfords will fetch my household on the day before completion. Just clean the house. Spend the night at my brothers and sister in-laws. Day of completion check the house have a cry and give the estate agent the keys. Head up to Liverpool. Wait for phone call to get the keys for the bungalow. Drop things off there. Go to my daughter's.
Next day with family rip out fitted wardrobes, get up carpets. Go to carpet shop choose and order new carpets and hall flooring. Collapse. When I know when carpets will be fitted arrange with Pickfords to bring my stuff up. Monday order new front door . Clean bungalow.
As I have had 2 buyers pull out just before exchange I am very organised.
I sorted out removals companies July las year.
I always take out all the insurances with the removals especially the cancellation/postponement one. Have not been out of pocket. I've had to been well organised since I am on my own.
My late husband was very organised and when we knew he was terminal everything was changed into my name apart from the house. He made lists of who to contact as soon as he died. He died 15 years ago. I have kept well organised since.
When I should have moved in March I had already found out who was best for building and contents insurance and utilities and boiler insurance etc.
Don't see why it can't be done in a week. You just need to be organised.

Whiff Mon 22-Jul-19 19:43:53

Mosaicwarts. Good look with your viewings.

Ellianne Mon 22-Jul-19 21:38:34

Wow, Whiff you are very, very organised. I have borrowed some of your suggestions to add to my "to do" list. We are away on holiday at the moment and potentially will only have 3 days on our return before completion, (we haven't exchanged yet because the solicitors see no urgency and seem to think 10 days is sufficient between exchange and completion). Pickfords sound very amenable. Hope it all goes well.

Whiff Tue 23-Jul-19 06:56:05

Ellianne Hope all goes well for you to.

craftyone Wed 24-Jul-19 08:55:38

only this morning am I doing my sums, I was never going to skimp on this my final house. I entered into the process with a nice savings safety net, knowing that the difference between buying and selling would pay my immediate costs and it did but nothing left to refine this house. Savings are well and truly dipped into, a want and definitely not a need but at my age, I want it now and not in ten years

What have my savings paid for: an upgraded fire to a modern-looking multi fuel fire, full quickstep flooring all over, sisal on the stairs, full boarding extra sockets and a secure side door on my garage, shutters or perfect fit blinds on all windows and patio doors, kitchen equipment to suit my cooking/growing lifestyle and I mean an extra fridge and a freezer in my kitchen, a butchers block with a stainless top that works like an island, good quality washing machine and tumbler drier, patio furniture, hand made fitted cupboards upstairs, garden plants, bits of furniture to help with storage

My children have ancouraged me all the way and only three days ago, my son was saying that I should trade in my car for a new model, just for the warranty and peace of mind, so I will when I get the mot next month. There is nothing major to buy now, just nice plants and features for my garden. Holidays next, there is a gold coach company that picks up a few minutes walk away from here, I have the brochure and I will book as soon as I feel ready

Why have I done all this? mainly because life is short and because I can. I am still frugal in many ways, no exotic holidays, meals from scratch etc and someone has to look after me so why not me

Whiff Wed 24-Jul-19 10:34:50

Good for you Craftyone. You are like me. You have to look to making things better for yourself now, not just in the near future but 10+ years ahead. When I get into my bungalow I will be getting a new kitchen seen lovely ones at IKEA plus their appliances. My kitchen here is 30yrs old. Also a new shower room. As well as a handle in the shower I will have one put by the toilet. My sister in law has M&S it will help her and me as I get older. Decided to decorate next year it will be fun choosing colours etc. Haven't had a holiday for 14yrs. I can wait a bit longer. Always said going to the kids was my holiday. We loved Ireland and I want to go back. On my to do list.
I have always been careful with money. Cooking from scratch and getting bargains . You are so right life is to short . If we had know my husband would die at 47 we would have done something's differently. But no good with what ifs. I always try to live the best life I can as you never know what's round the corner. It's great when your children encourage you to do things. Mine tell me all the time I'm loved and how proud they are of me. Makes facing whatever life throws at you all worth while.
So true we have to look after ourselves. Have a wonderful day.