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Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Thu 21-Mar-19 07:52:20

I have a bad stress headache today, never normally get headaches. I am buying a new house before selling my own, at least that was the plan. There has been a buying hold up, caused by waiting for sight of an important document. All in all 3 months has turned to 8 months. Just waiting for one document, which was `in the post` to nhbc

My buyer, february viewings, is starting to lay on the pressure. I had 25 extra and difficult questions to answer yesterday, some relating to building planning dating back to 6 years before we moved in, a new build.

The whole idea was that I would complete on my new home and move in stress-free, a bit at a time. I will definitely not move to rented. I had a string of people wanting to buy my property and will delay my buyer if needed

The stress is awful, widowed, doing it all myself and even with a good solicitor, I am churning up inside after yesterday`s questions

Whiff Wed 18-Sept-19 07:59:47

Craftyone I hope your headache is better. What a shady thing to do. That developer sounds like a money grabber. Dread to think what state those properties will be in if he is trying to cut corners now. Glad you have some professional advice and are on top of things. Your diy skills are amazing. Took me ages just to assemble a Ikea pedal bin.

Ellianne I am the same as you . Things I thought would need altering I find they don't. Was going to get a new shower room this year but I will do that next year. Found I like the artex on the living room ceiling it a nice swirly pattern. Just have it repainted when I have the bungalow decorated next year.

Homeserve came about my loo. Thinks there may be something causing a vacuum in the pipes. Coming again tomorrow to put a camera down the manhole on my drive. Luckily the loo is safe to use. Roofer coming either tomorrow or Friday to point the chimney and fit some cowls. Things like the garage roof , chimney and side garage door my surveyor had high lighted in his report. At least having them done now before the winter means I don't have to worry about them. Having the kitchen measured by Benchmark this morning. Then off to my daughters to baby sit while my daughter and son in law finish stripping my bedroom. I've ordered the carpet protector from Screwfix it is coming tomorrow.

Mosaicwarts hope everything is going well with you.

Franbern hope you are feeling a bit better and taking it easy.

craftyone Tue 17-Sept-19 21:51:55

Oh I am back in stressland and with a headache. Reason being that there will be a development of 6 houses and a row of parking spaces next to me, ok I am fine with that. Massive drainage soakaway will be put right next to my fence behind my and neighbours joined garages. He is trying to slip this through without building regs, he got planning 3 years ago and 1 year ago our garages were built up by the wall, 1m away. building regs state 5m from a structure, these drainage systems are very deep and through rock that would have to be broken up

Me and my neighbour were served with papers by a surveyor employed by the developer. We have 14 days to decide what to do, he was trying to get us to employ him too. My friend a structs engineer said no, a bad thing to do. So I have been online and found a structs engineer with party wall and drainage experience and my neighbour will ring him tomorrow.

In the meantime I have found planning dept e mails. Developer is trying to slip things through on the 3 year old planning conditions ie no structure by the party wall. My friend builder here said yes it has to be 5m if building control know. That was enough for me, that word `know`, ducking and shady dealings are going on. My neighbour and I have e mailed and written to individuals taken from the found e mails, to the planning department and to building control. Belt and braces, we also need to employ someone to represent us and to preserve the integrity of our garage structures

Guess who has done all this work, me, tenacious me. I feel that someone will pick up on this now. No point sitting back and watching cracks appear in the garage wall

Do you know what was bad, the fact that I wanted to ask this surveyor some questions, he was in my neighbours house, I was there too. Every time I said anything, he said `just a minute` and carried on speaking. Looking down and speaking down to a 4` 10 woman like me has the complete opposite effect, intimidated, no flipping way. I have done my homework, found a structs engineer company with party wall and drainage experience, kept my neighbours informed, fired off e mails, sent a letter, taken condition photos, 20 of them all now printed and filed.

No wonder I have a headache and btw I assembled a 5` bench single handedly, if I can do that then I can deal with a surveyor

Ellianne Tue 17-Sept-19 18:38:18

Good evening Movers. I'm glad to hear you're a bit better today Franbern after your pain yesterday. It's still early days so best to keep resting when you can. In my experience you need to keep checking with your removers they are still available for your proposed moving date nearer the time. I wish I had had the whole process explained to me better.
mw I hope your house viewing went well and gave you food for thought.
We have been in our new place for about 6 weeks now. Some of the alterations we felt we would want take on we now feel we can live with, some we even prefer the way they actually are than our original dislikes of them. Others are new things which have sprung from nowhere. My advice would be to live in a place for a little while before jumping in unless of course it is a wreck!

mosaicwarts Tue 17-Sept-19 17:07:38

Hello Friends, interesting reading as usual. Just back from meeting my 36 year old widowed friend for coffee - she is still numb and having a rotten time with her widowhood and her little five year old son. We listened to her carefully, and my friend that drove me to meet her cried. Three years down the line I've now changed from being sympathetic to empathetic and can be more practical.

I'm glad you are feeling better Franbern, I caught some very graphic 'keyhole' surgery on tv last night, you are bound to be sore. Best wishes for positive news on all fronts, I hope you don't have to wait too long smile

Now my daughter is home I hope to have some conversations that help me focus on what I want out of my new home in ten years, as craftyone suggested. I did listen about costs and allocated funds ages ago when you all mentioned it. I looked locally in a sense of desperation, it is the easy way of continuing to live, but in my heart of hearts know I will regret it. Thanks for your generous comment saying you think I've been brave Whiff.

Will feedback tomorrow. Have socks on in case the owner asks us to take our shoes off, don't like showing my bare feet!

xx

Whiff Tue 17-Sept-19 16:25:05

Thank you for the info Midgey and Chewbacca. I will get some.

Mosaicwarts Franbern is correct about all the hidden costs also don't forget stamp duty. Mine was £1,900 that was for a property priced £220,000. Dread to think how much it would cost for a house the price you are looking at. I've been here 5 weeks and so far spent £3,000 on having things done. Lots of other things to do over the next couple of months. You say you need to be braver. From what you have been saying over the months on this thread I think you are already brave.

Franbern take it easy you have been through a lot and your body needs to heal. You are having to cope with a lot at the moment. It's bad enough trying to move when feeling on top form let alone when you are recovering from an operation.

Got Homeserve coming the water has mostly disappeared out of the toilet bowl.

Hope everyone else is having a productive day.

Franbern Tue 17-Sept-19 11:11:21

Today, I am actually starting to feel better. Last night I felt so bad I was considering contacting my GP today, but then it passed. I know the leaflets all say allow up to a fortnight, but Did not think this applied to ME!!! I will take it slowly and easily for today and tomorrow and then hope that will be that.
This morning I went onto my laptop and printed off the quote from the removal company I hope to use. Cannot even give them a provisional date as yet,although still hoping for last week in October (provided it does not all collapse before them)
I wrote to my solicitor regarding the problem about the land registry and the garage at the flat - pointing out to him that this is a problem and cost for the current sellers to be sorting out, not for me to worry about . He told me it would not be a problem whilst I lived in the flat but could be when it came to sell. So, surely it is down to the current sellers to sought out.
As I also have some queries on their fixtures and fittings forms I am waiting to hear from him about these things. No further news on my sale, but my EA did say she would make a note that I was going into hospital and to leave me alone for a week. Think I will contact her tomorrow to ask if everything is still okay.
So difficult, just not knowing where I will be living by end of year. Some furniture will need to be donated to charity, but NOT until I definitely know I am am moving.
Hopefully, by next week I will feel well enough to continue the seemingly endless job of 'sorting out and getting rid'. Just put my Ninja juicer on Gumtree. The different mugs etc. take up a lot of room in my kitchen cupboards and, I suddenly realised that I had not used it at all for nearly two years. Will not have all the kitchen space I have now when (if) I move.
Mosaic..... do hope this sale goes through easily and quickly for you. Although you really should take the opportunity of moving area if you are not really happy where you are. The house you are going to view seems to be costing MORE than you are selling your existing property for - how will that be possible?
The actual costs of moving are very high, what with paying EA fees on sale (plus VAT), Solicitors fees for both sale and purchase, Land registry cost of purchase and removal charges. That is before any new furniture etc is purchased. I know I will need to change out the boiler in the flat quite quickly as it is 14 years old.

Chewbacca Tue 17-Sept-19 09:41:58

I used a roll of the self adhesive carpet protector, after having new carpets fitted, and wanting to protect them when moving in to my new house. It worked brilliantly but, I have to be honest here, it's a bugger to use! It takes two people to use it because one has to hold the roll whilst the other pulls it out, and lays it flat on the carpet. It also has a tendency to stick to itself, a bit like sticky cling film! But at £12 for a large roll, and loads left over, it's definitely worth the effort. I got mine from Screwfix.

midgey Tue 17-Sept-19 09:36:27

If you have a freecycle near you you could ask if any one has redundant boxes, cheaper than buying!

Jane10 Tue 17-Sept-19 09:25:39

Recently our plumber used the adhesive plastic covering to protect our carpets as they came and went. It worked really well and we were very pleased with it. A massive improvement on swathing the carpets with old sheets etc. Waterproof too.

mosaicwarts Tue 17-Sept-19 08:28:34

Hi Whiff, I do envy you your pass in the nicest possible way! £3.50 for my bus ticket yesterday, and I'm paying £15 for my daughter to get home from the station this morning in a taxi. Taxi to see the house tonight will be double that, but I am seeing it first, so it's worth it.

Pension day on the 20th, not having my car has come at at bad time, I'm broke.

I've never used carpet covering, are there any reviews? Can't risk ruining your new carpet.

Thank you for the recipe suggestion, I have got his book somewhere, I'll dig it out.

I have had a bit of a brain freeze, it's been a strange two weeks. The EA said they are still receiving calls, and making a note of interest. At least I've had the storage people round, and registered for rented accommodation. I have managed to sort out the kitchen china, and I've run out of boxes. I did seriously declutter when I went on the market, I haven't really got that much stuff when it comes down to it. I will go on the site craftyone suggested and buy boxes when my pension is in. I am seriously concerned he'll pull out when he see the survey, especially if he chooses my surveyor who was suggesting improvements to drag the house into the 21st century. Is anyone here 'wired' to the firestation?

I'm going to look at this house tonight and must measure my big settees before I go. It has the advantage of being able to walk to the beach with my dog, plus walking him around lit streets at night, but the lack of garden weighs heavily. There is a tiny area outside the front porch so he could still go for his before bed tiddle. I told my best friend I was looking locally last night and she said I was mad, I'm so unhappy up here. I need to be braver.

Have a good day, whatever you are doing. A friend, who abandoned me for a few months, is picking me up to go for coffee at 11. Unfortunately I was so upset about her lack of contact for months I now feel completely detached, but will make the effort.

I have to walk my dog along the country lanes in a minute as I don't have the car, it's quite dangerous as you have to watch in front and behind as it's so narrow.

Whiff Tue 17-Sept-19 07:22:03

Having the free bus and local train pass living here is a great bonus. If I was still in the West Midlands I would have to wait until I am 66. All the people I have talked to are shocked when I told them . As the man at Bootle bus station said they are not enlightened down there. The taxis are a lot cheaper here. You only pay for the distance you travel. In the Midlands the minimum fare was £5. You can use the pass from 9.30 am to midnight Monday to Friday. Think its any time Saturday , Sunday and bank holidays. When I chose which GP practice to join I made sure it was on a bus route. I am lucky I have a bus stop at the end of the road.

Has anyone used the low tack adhesive carpet covering? I want to know if it works and would protect my carpet from wet plaster and paint. Otherwise I need to get up my new carpet.

Mosaicwarts on the subject of cake mixes I have never used one. I have always made my cakes from scratch. If you are a lover of chocolate brownies I have found that best recipe for that is by Nigel Slater. There is only plain chocolate and cocoa powder in it no nuts. It is very rich but heavenly. Delicious hot and cold. It is an easy recipe to follow. Hope your sale and house hunting all goes to plan. How's the sorting and packing going?

Hope you are feeling better Franbern.

mosaicwarts Mon 16-Sept-19 16:52:16

I don't know why the bus here stops so early - unless it's to leave the road free for school buses, there are many coaches collecting children here. The lady I met knows the time of every bus, her late husband used to drive so she never learnt. I think she said she is 85 years old. She was talking about getting the 10 am to visit her friend, and the 2 pm to return home. She had a nice trolley with three wheels in a triangle shape - she mounted the bus step easily with it.

I don't recommend Morrisons cake mix - flat as a pancake, and frosting far too sticky and sickly sweet. I'm sure my daughter won't mind.

Have a nice evening all! smile

craftyone Mon 16-Sept-19 14:47:24

All the buses here stop running between 5 and 6.30, that does limit trips out eg theatres in a nearby town. It would cost £30 for a taxi back, most people try and get the bus before last to ensure getting back home

I have just taken delivery of 6 cookfood ready meals. I treat myself sometimes and they are delicious. Hope the car is ok soon

mosaicwarts Mon 16-Sept-19 13:53:46

I've just got back from dropping my car off, had to get the bus back, can't remember the last time I had to do this.

At the bus station I chatted to a lady on the bench - it's a very small world here! She is the person that took my dog walking friend's dog when she had to go into assisted living! Lovely woman, unfortunately she has a 'bishop's cyst' behind her leg and is suffering at the moment, so can't walk the dogs. Her daughter is helping out.

I think I might have said before I was very shaken the first couple of times I took the bus because the drivers offered their condolences - they had all passed the house whilst we were waiting for what seemed forever for the ambulance. First time I cried, got used to it after that. Nice drivers, they are very friendly with their regulars, this one gets given toffees by everyone! Nearly everyone that got on had a pass - I had to pay £3.50. Quite a lot for such a short journey, really, but I am glad to have the service passing my house but it stops at 5 pm. I'm making moussaka and had bought potatoes, weigh a ton!

While I was in town I took the opportunity to take the EA office manager, who negotiated for me, a bunch of flowers, she was really pleased. Awkward moment when I realised I should have taken the viewing agents something too ... I'll sort that another time.

Feeling very tired today, have to take the dog out again in a minute. My 85 year old dog walking friend has lost her dog at the disused pit walk - I do worry that there are unknown 'entrances' that haven't been covered. Poor Bugsy, he must be scared.

Enjoy your afternoon, I'm trying out the Morrisons Choc cake mix when I get back, daughter is home tomorrow.

mosaicwarts Sun 15-Sept-19 20:10:00

I should have said it's on the main bus route - wish wish wish I had my bus pass! They've stopped the bus coming through the village, it's just a five minute walk to the corner. I definitely want to stop driving far, especially at night. Just squeaked home from the chip shop tonight, I find twilight especially difficult. It's a twenty minute walk to the train station along a pleasant country road, and as we are only an hour and a quarter from Edinburgh, think I'll investigate flights from there.

I had a horrible thought on the way home - the other houses might be holiday homes/second homes too. Definitely don't want to be listening to someone's dog howling while they're out for the evening, or have drunken people shouting in the night. Will have to see.

Sorry about your kitchen Whiff! So great your family are doing the paper stripping, it is too hard to lift your arm up and down repeatedly, aches for ages afterwards. Hope you get good news tomorrow.

Technology isn't what it's cracked up to be is it when this happens. When I was at the wildlife project in SA the owner was upgrading his system one morning whilst we were eating breakfast - he lost all of his data on the released baboon troop. His wife was crying sad They needed the information to monitor the success of the project, sponsors want feedback, it was awful.

Off to raid the chocolate cupboard, if I get toothache this time I'll have to go to the dentist. Think either my crown is damaged, or the tooth behind it, or I'm grinding my teeth in the night again with so much going on.

Night night xx

lucyinthesky Sun 15-Sept-19 18:41:32

craftyone I agree with you - one reason I doubt I'll move again is because there will come a time when i wonlt be able to drive so being close to good public transport and shops, GP etc as I am now is paramount in order to remain independent.

craftyone Sun 15-Sept-19 18:10:45

Its always good to see and compare houses mosaics but it is also good to stand back and be objective, to perhaps see the worst case scenario such as eyesight deterioration, as often happens with AMD, which is a simple progression of age. Where to be so that life and enjoyment can be easily managed without a car, if the licence has to be given up. Would you manage without a car? taxis perhaps

Whiff Sun 15-Sept-19 18:05:50

My kitchen planning at IKEA yesterday didn't go to plan. They couldn't find my kitchen details . They have had a new computer system 2 weeks ago. Mark measured my kitchen on 22nd August. He was using the old system. Tech support hadn't made it compatible. As you might guess the tech department doesn't work weekends. They will phone me tomorrow to let me know if they found them. Also the kitchen doors I like they have discontinued. But have picked out something I like better.

What with mice,flies, finding out my bedroom needs plastering and now the kitchen it's been a week. Still no joy from Pickfords . Thought selling and buying was stressful.

My daughter and son in law came today and while I played with my grandson they stripped most of the paper off the walls and ceiling. The walls and ceiling had been lined, then wallpaper and then painted on top. Who does that to walls and ceilings ! They are hoping to finish one night while I baby sit.

Off to sit fit in the morning and then my craft group on Tuesday. Hope everyone had a good day.

mosaicwarts Sun 15-Sept-19 17:54:53

Forgot to say no chain too!

mosaicwarts Sun 15-Sept-19 17:52:25

I'm going to see my first house on Tuesday night, the owner has asked to do the viewing, my daughter is coming too. We'll have to go in a taxi as the car is in the garage for a few days, I'm dreading being 'immobilised'. First to see it since it went back on the market - he had it on in April, came off, and has just instructed again yesterday.

It's local and I felt very happy when I saw it, imagining the life I could lead there. I just cannot decide where to go in the UK, such a huge choice and my heart is back in Twickenham in Middlesex - but I have got used to the peace and quiet up here and would really miss the beach. Although I always moan it's cold up here, I didn't actually enjoy the hot days we had.

It's small and the Council tax is higher than mine, I'm amazed. And offers in excess of £400K! No garden which is a big compromise, but means I can travel and not worry my sweet peas are dying! Next to a green space for my cat, slightly back from the main street, can walk to the beach, shop, pubs and cafes, bus stop, mile to the railway station. My dentist/doctor/vets are just a few miles away and I'm confident of the drive there, I know the back roads are OK.

I'm sure I'd be able to get an allotment if I wanted to grow veg but doubt I ever will - I just like the idea. I've got a huge garden now and haven't grown them. Places don't come up here very often, because it's so popular. Owner has had offers but refused them all, I'll have to ask the EA's advice.

Hope you are all having a nice evening. Think I might go for chips to celebrate!

Ellianne Sat 14-Sept-19 21:55:00

Hope everything went well Franbern and that you can look forward to your move with positivity.

Whiff Sat 14-Sept-19 21:44:45

Like to add my wishes for a speedy recovery Franbern. Take all the help you can get. Glad you have a caring family. flowers cupcake

sazz1 Sat 14-Sept-19 21:18:25

Franbern hope you are soon feeling better. Rest up as everything will wait until you have recovered. Wishing you a speedy recovery Hugs xxx

craftyone Sat 14-Sept-19 19:30:50

Franbern, wishing you well and a speedy recovery. I think you are goin to have to switch your mind off for a bit while you rest and mend

mosaicwarts Sat 14-Sept-19 18:49:11

Best wishes for your speedy recovery Franbern, get well soon.
I hadn't realised you were going in this week, very glad it's all over for you. Do rest and promise you won't overstretch yourself. I had my squint done again when I was 36 and the anaesthetic knocked me for six for a few weeks, I think it is a lot better nowadays. Virtual flowers and grapes coming your way! smile

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