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Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Thu 21-Mar-19 07:52:20

I have a bad stress headache today, never normally get headaches. I am buying a new house before selling my own, at least that was the plan. There has been a buying hold up, caused by waiting for sight of an important document. All in all 3 months has turned to 8 months. Just waiting for one document, which was `in the post` to nhbc

My buyer, february viewings, is starting to lay on the pressure. I had 25 extra and difficult questions to answer yesterday, some relating to building planning dating back to 6 years before we moved in, a new build.

The whole idea was that I would complete on my new home and move in stress-free, a bit at a time. I will definitely not move to rented. I had a string of people wanting to buy my property and will delay my buyer if needed

The stress is awful, widowed, doing it all myself and even with a good solicitor, I am churning up inside after yesterday`s questions

Grammaretto Mon 12-Aug-19 15:37:29

Bloody hell!! I've been reading your latest posts and have decided not to move.
Ever.
Sending hugs and double brandies all round.

Auntieflo Mon 12-Aug-19 17:16:40

Grammaretto, I am the same. I often used to get itchy feet, and the grass was often greener, but not now, thank heavens.

But, I have loved this thread for all the help, hand holding, sympathy and general hints, that have been given here, to each other.

Thank you to all the movers, and non movers (yet) that have contributed.

I hope you all soon find your forever home, but will miss you if it stops!

sazz1 Mon 12-Aug-19 17:54:29

We went to the agents who are selling the house we're buying today with ID etc. They've emailed details to me telling me what to do next re survey etc and at the end of the email suggested completion date 8th November!
Our house needs to go through first and haven't heard anything about buyers having survey yet. Should I chase it up with our agent or just wait? It's just over 2 weeks since we accepted their offer, but they did come last week to measure carpet curtains etc. What do u think as don't want to seem pushy

Ellianne Mon 12-Aug-19 19:32:34

sazz1 I think you should get your agent to chase everything in a nice, polite way. That's what you're paying him for. Our agent was brilliant and steered us through many a storm. Where are you moving from and to?

craftyone Mon 12-Aug-19 19:55:53

sazzl I agree with Ellianne, your EA has to get working. Two weeks on and it should be more than measuring. You should have had documents to fill in, fixtures and fittings etc. November 8th sounds average and a good date to aim for. Your house does not need to go through first, buying and selling should actually be in tandem now. Your buyers need to know the potential completion date of november 8th, it will fix their minds rather than being a maybe date

Time now to pencil in removers

Whiff Mon 12-Aug-19 19:58:43

Spent Thursday night at my brothers and sister in laws. My daughter and grandson came at lunchtime on Friday. Heard at 3.40 that completion had gone through and the bungalow was finally mine after waiting since I first saw it 4th July 2018. Got to Liverpool at 10.30pm.
Got my keys Saturday morning. My daughter and son in law spent the weekend stripping out those horrible wardrobes. While nannie baby sat. My bedroom needs redecorating before I move into it. Will stay in the spare room until decorators have been. Picked carpets Saturday.
Fitter measuring up on Tuesday. Found mice dropping in loft and
kitchen. Had pest controller out today and put bait down back in 10 days. Once the carpets are fitted I can have all my stuff out of storage . Then I can move in and start my new life.
Why is it there are a thousand and one things to do when buying and selling then for the move and still more things to do after. Still it will all be worth it. I have moved 112 miles and am now close to where my children and families live. Organising GP tomorrow.
Hope all the ones who have moved are doing well and future movers don't get your hopes up it will be plain sailing as many of us on this forum know only to well have awful it can be. Also people are so untrustworthy and dishonest.

craftyone Mon 12-Aug-19 20:13:31

whiff I will raise my kombucha on ice as a salute to you, congratulations, at last you can draw that line across and start your future in Liverpool. I hope you will be very happy and content in your new home

mosaicwarts Mon 12-Aug-19 20:47:03

What a pain Ellianne, they were all colour coded too! Shame about the damages, hope they can be replaced easily. When we moved here in 1999 we had to buy new mattresses as the men had obviously smoke for the whole seven hour trip, they ponged to high heaven of cigarette smoke.

mosaicwarts Mon 12-Aug-19 20:53:12

Wow Whiff, congratulations, I am green with envy. Enjoy all your organising and rearranging. Much happiness to you in your new home, how different Christmas will be from now on! Had a look around Edinburgh today whilst I was at the Fringe as a possible move for me, no go, I'd go mad up there. Too busy, too dirty, and too many hills sad I am very lucky to live in this house, even if it is falling down around my ears - toilet has started doing a weird dripping now!

Relax and enjoy the new sounds of your new house, sleep well xx

Ellianne Mon 12-Aug-19 21:20:25

Glad all went well whiff.
We need to register with a GP and apparently have to record our blood pressure on the machine in the waiting area. It isn't like the usual cuff machine but more like putting your arm in some long tunnel or tube! My BP is so labile it can vary from exceedingly high to fairly low in no time.
mw keep persevering. We've put up pictures today and all of a sudden it feels more homely. It's so quiet compared with London and at night it's pitch black, no street lighting.

sazz1 Mon 12-Aug-19 22:19:06

We are moving from South Glos to Devon. Thanks for replies will chase up EA when we get back as we're in a caravan in Devon atm. Have just completed lots of forms for our sale and want that to go through first as we can stay in our caravan here while our new house goes through or move in with daughter in Bath for a few months.

sazz1 Mon 12-Aug-19 22:44:11

Ellianne we are moving (hopefully) to the South Devon coast.

craftyone Tue 13-Aug-19 06:09:22

That will reduce a lot of stress sazzl, I love the sw, living in my county is a bit like going back in time.

Greta8 Tue 13-Aug-19 07:01:23

We've been in our new house two weeks now. As others have said, the stress doesn't stop just because you're in!! But small stuff compared to the mega-stress and time it takes to move - five months in our case. We wanted to be nearer our daughter and it's wonderful. I spent yesterday looking after my new grandson while my daughter did her meal-prep for the week and some housework. Popping in to see her today while we're in the City near where she lives, and she's coming over to ours tomorrow with the baby. They're half an hour away - bliss!! We now live in a beautiful, friendly country area - it's worth every second of the worry to have achieved this. Good luck to everyone else on this journey - Mosaicwarts I hope you get a result soon - you so deserve to sell your property after all the angst and work you have put in.

Katyj Tue 13-Aug-19 07:37:14

Have to say the stress is still on going here We moved house 7 weeks ago only a mile down the road, but still have no carpets.The boiler packed up the day we moved in, then the kitchen that looked okay when we looked around was actually in a much worse state, so we decided to replace it sounds easy but everything that could go wrong did ,and has, coupled with the fact my mum fell and broke her hip the week before we moved just put my anxiety levels through the roof.She's coming home this week, we have the decorators in and the kitchen is not finished yet .Never again.

Jane10 Tue 13-Aug-19 07:54:14

Oh. Re Edinburgh. Right now it's very crowded and dirty due to all the tourists packing it out. August is a terrible time for us residents.
Come again in October. It's glorious here once the crowds have evaporated. There are hills but there are also buses...
Good luck all with your various house sales and purchases. What stories you all have! Hair raising.

Grammaretto Tue 13-Aug-19 09:22:42

Whiff you sound relieved rather than ecstatic! I am so happy for you.
And for Greta it is lovely to hear you are happily settled.
Sorry Katyj that things are still stressful for you.

I was just about to say what Jane10 said about Edinburgh. I was there yesterday too and it was at the height of festival craziness.
Please change your mind Mosaic you could join our GN meet ups!! grin

I am still considering the downsize and getting worried about the future.
Your helpfulness on here has been wonderful to read.

Franbern Tue 13-Aug-19 12:14:28

Next week I have private surveyor for my would-be buyers coming. Have just paid out to have some work done on the roof, was not actually causing me any problems but a roofer showed me a video of some very damaged and cracked cement around the unused chimney breast and ridge tiles at the top, so thought best to have it done before it gets very bad. So if I do not move I will benefit, and I hope the surveyor will note how well I am maintaining.
Go to Weston later this week, only viewing one flat, saw it much earlier in the year. However, it was the last viewing at the end of a very long day at a time when I was still very unwell from my fall a few weeks prior to that.
It actually ticks every box bar one, the second bedroom is not a suitable shape to take a double bed. I have decided that is probably the least important tick box, as I am not buying for visitors, but for myself. Since I last saw this flat, it has remained on the market and been reduced by ten grand.
I am feeling reluctant to start expensive purchase procedures yet again, until I really feel more definite about my purchasers. So, I am hoping that this private surveyor will get his report to them quickly. If that is okay, then I feel things might actually go ahead this time.
I have told everyone that if this sale collapses, then I am pulling out and staying put.
I am feeling very envious of those that have actually moved, do wonder if it will ever be me amongst that chosen few!!!

mosaicwarts Tue 13-Aug-19 16:05:25

I have yet again fallen asleep on the sofa, must get up at 8 am tomorrow and try to get a doctor's appointment, I feel horrible.

I've received a ridiculous letter from my Dad telling me to engage someone to see how many houses I could fit onto the land, so I could sell to a builder. He's also told me to sell the annexe - but it's part of the house. No help of any other kind offered apart from grin and bear it .

Good luck to all starting or ending this journey, I'm fed up with it. More 'too much work' feedback today.

I have been advertised in a posh celebrity magazine called The Week, hopefully a train loving billionnaire might be interested and buy it as a holiday home!

Ellianne, your comment about no street lights reminded me of when we first moved here. The joys of country living, not. It's pitch everywhere here too, I absolutely hate driving in the dark and do avoid it when I can. Used to try and get taxis when I could but the only taxi driver, 'John', was always fully booked! I was horrified the first time I had to go out at night. I was driving along and noticed red lights in my mirror, felt really nervous someone was so close behind, went faster and faster - but they were right on my tail .... yes, exactly, it was my own car tail lights! I used to love my old Landrover as I could see over the hedges, now have a Nissan X trail which isn't quite as high. Only feel safe here in a 4x4 but so expensive to run. Will get a teeny run around petrol car when I move to a town, would prefer to be eco friendly electric but can't afford that.

Good luck with next week's surveyor Franbern.

craftyone Tue 13-Aug-19 17:42:24

Franbern, I feel progress, mountain goat baby steps, onward and upward and mosaics, it is definitely your turn for some good luck to come your way.

I also loved my landrover defender, once pulled a horse trailer with 2 big weighty horses up a very steep narrow country lane and met a great big full size fire engine coming down. That was one of the worst moments ever, what a test, I had to pull right into a hedge and stop with my eyes fixed forward while the fire engine inched past, than I had to take off from a standing start on mud and twigs almost in a ditch, with a very heavy weight behind, a short wheel base defender and it did it, it took the weight. I was so proud to have owned a defender, loved being high. I have a 4 x 4 now, a yeti because we were suddenly snowed in for 6 weeks, my last village and naturally we have had very little snow since we bought her and she also eats petrol. I am going to get a new car this year, when the new skoda comes out but not 4 x 4

I haven`t had street lights for many years, last village, not a single light and none here either. I used to pay £180 a month single occupant council tax, for my bin collection. I am going to try and appear very brave here when I come back from any evening groups I might join. Head up. chest out and fast positive steps, with key in hand. I actually live on a building site right now and it is muddy and pitch black, I feel safe inside the house but am sure I will be nervy coming through the site

sazz1 Tue 13-Aug-19 17:47:34

Well I'm starting to feel like a criminal here as due to money laundering we've had to produce bank statement passport and driving license to solicitors our agents and new house agents and now been asked again to produce to new house agents and sign something else don't know what. We bought the house we're selling 20 yrs ago from our agent we're selling it with same man his agency. Have also showed agents electoral roll paper to update register and gas bills. Anyone else have this fuss. Got to think a real money launderer wouldn't stay 20yrs in a house like us ....

Whiff Tue 13-Aug-19 18:24:06

Sazzl sorry to say that's all part of selling and buying houses. I was in my last house 34 years and was shocked how much everything had changed also my husband was dealing with most things then. Doing it on your own is no fun and at times I have shouted at him for dying. Which is very wicked of me as he didn't want to die at 47. Joined the library and got the forms from the G P Practice today.
Mosaicwarts hope you have some good news soon you to Franbern.

sazz1 Tue 13-Aug-19 18:34:14

Well on a positive note agent rang and said our buyers have applied for their mortgage last week. A week late as mortgage advisor was on holiday. So far so good fingers crossed
Mosaicwarts your dad might be on to something as if land had planning it's worth a lot of money to builders.
Hope everyone else is getting on ok All the best xxxx

Nannytopsy Tue 13-Aug-19 19:03:53

Sazzl we sold/bought at the end of May and our solicitor STILL won’t commit to any form of completion date. We have told them our chosen date and they have not communicated with us since!

mosaicwarts Tue 13-Aug-19 19:16:43

sazzl, someone else on here had already described the palaver of proving you aren't a money launderer so it's on my 'dread' list! well done for getting through it.

I'm not sure which stage it is, but you'll be getting the questions sometime in the future about the house etc - craftyone mentions it early in the thread, and someone else said 'unknown' is often the best answer smile

I could do the land planning application but it's about £5K and I'm scared to spend the money. One of my daughter's friends Mum (not sure about apostroffs here!) has done it for her house, as she had a paddock and stables at the back, and she has obtained planning permission for four bungalows. However, no-one is biting - she's been on the market for over two years now. Her location isn't great - no bus, village shop shut down due to lack of local support, difficult to get out when it snows. I wouldn't want to live there. I'm a mile from the village and couldn't get down there in the beast from the east, tried a few times and when tractors/cars came had to stand in the five foot drifts at the side of the road, was frightening. Came home again.
Luckily had a freezer full of supplies of milk/bread/butter. Was so bored - and cold - for five days!

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