Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

Oh no boho43 - why the delay to a month when the weather can be horrid? September is a lovely month to move.

As you are in a crunch situation where you could lose both money you have already invested and your buyer, could you stay with family, and put your items into storage short term? Not ideal, I know.

I understand about the clearing out. When I decluttered I filled many boxes which I am supposed to be reassessing. Opened one tonight and found the Wuv Luv I bought my late mother when she was in hospital. Can't face it yet. I'll photograph all the sentimental things and take them to Oxfam in Morpeth, rather than my local one. I have gone off charity shops now I have realised that most of the items are from downsizers or bereavement.

Let us know how you get on

Hello everyone, I am new to Gransnet & was interested in this thread.

We are in the process of moving to Somerset to be near family, & are having ‘builder’ problems. It is so stressful isn’t it? Hubby & I are both in our late 70’s & haven’t moved for 20 years, & it is such a culture shock. We started clearing out before Christmas, & still haven’t finished! Today we heard from our solicitors that we can’t now move until November, when it should be September. Our buyer will probably pull out & we will have to start the whole selling process again. I’m dreading losing our new house & we have also invested quite a bit of money into it already - then there’s the solicitors costs- plus the wretched VAT! And on it goes.....

I feel for everyone going though this awful experience.

Changed my son's name to ICE, easier than I thought

Fantastic Franbern, fingers crossed report does get to purchaser today and all is well.

Dreading the day, if it ever comes, that I am waiting for a surveyor! Week 3 with new EA for me and not one viewing - and no RightMove report email yesterday. They did send the first two weeks. I can't decide whether to email and ask for it - but seems pointless as no viewings. A lot of hits will just be curiosity. I did know the market dies now until September, I must try and relax, I'm still trapped in my waiting bubble.

I've got a bit depressed I think and this off balance feeling and heavy legs I'm suffering from is so odd. I have made an appointment at the dox, going on Monday 15th. I worry about collapsing when I'm out on the beach alone, and must get change my son's number on my phone to ICE - in case of emergency. Recommended by someone, can't remember, helps paramedics contact your family quickly.

I'm glad my daughter is home for a few weeks on Monday. She's requested my banana cake, haven't made it for about fifteen years, I'm sure she's just making sure I'm doing something!

Surveyor been and gone. Pleasant young man. Was not here very long. When he left he told me it was fine for me to go ahead and book quotes from removal companies, so I have started to arrange for these. His report will be prepared today.

Sitting here, very much on edge, awaiting arrival of surveyor for my would-be buyers blds society surveyor. Supposed to be here beween 8 00 a and 9.00 am. So, broke my usual morning routine of getting up, having brekkie, relaxing before getting showered an dressed. Was dressed and downstairs by 7.45. It is now just five minutes off 9.00 and nobody yet.
Just want to get this out of the way -hopefully, will be no problems, but who knows = this house was built in the 1930's!!!
Just want to get this hurdle out of the way, as I feel once that is sorted I can really get on with the job of feeling that this move may really go ahead.

oh whiff, yes I completely agree, luck does not come into it, lifestyle choice came into it, all those camping holidays when others went on exotic holidays

I had to use sat nav to pick sis up at yeovil pen mill station, never been there and didn`t know yeovil. Busy town, lots of twists and turns getting to the tiny station, then every 10 yards, big signs on the wall, saying to pay for a parking ticket with your mobile. Eek, I had no idea, was a scary few minutes because no-where else to park. Sorted eventually but we decided that we will be going to Taunton station instead, tomorrow, by bus. No idea how to get from bus station to the train station but we are doing a trial run today, after lunch locally. She is from aus, I admit to being shattered, she doesn`t stop talking and is quite a forceful, always right personality. We are close and only 16 months apart

We spent a fab day locally yesterday, had tea out and browsed the area. I bought a lovely wooden bucket, the type that was on yokel shoulder carriers in the olden days, an antique shop with amazing prices, so good that no one haggles, The shop was in a grade 11 building and went far back. £40 for the pail plus a beautiful whicker basket with woven plaited rattan, £10. I am going to fill the wooden barrel shaped pail with flowers. Corn dollies in a charity shop, what work! very beautiful and intricate, £1 each

Had lovely day out yesterday with a friend. We went to Bewdley and had a lovely lunch at the mug house pub by side of the river severn. Then spend a very enjoyable three hours in the museum and walking in the gardens. Meet some interesting people. I really needed the day out all the house business is so stressful. Once I have moved that's it I couldn't go through this again.
A few weeks ago I was having a drink in my local Costa as I do got talking to a lady at the next table. Houses cropped up and I was flabbergasted when she said you are lucky to have your own house. I soon told her luck had nothing to do with it hard work, going without holidays and saving every penny we got. She lived in a council and had two holidays in Spain every year . I haven't had a holiday for 14 years. I visit the children which is a sort of break but not a proper holiday. I also pointed out if you own your own house you will never be well off. Houses take at lot of up keep. Do you remember when the mortgage rate went to 15% in the 1980's? Can you just imagine how the young would cope with that in this day and age.

Craftyone have a lovely time with your sister and Mosaicwarts hope all is going well with you.

Have a lovely time with your sister - I was going to ask about her earlier as I thought she was arriving yesterday.

Have you got moth stuff near your wool stash? My landing carpet was attacked when it was rolled up, revolting to think of the larvae eating their way through it, cute Hungry caterpillar or not.

I just wanted to let you know I've been reading the Red Row new house reviews this morning ..... absolutely awful. Beautiful looking houses in the brochures, especially the Arts and Craft influenced design - but one couple have been waiting two years for their snagging list to be addressed!

See you in a few days, I'm glad you have company xx

I am back now and the car is empty, ready to pick sister up from the station this afternoon. My favourite spinning fluff is probably a mix containing silk and cashmere. I can get almost any blend made up via a site called world of wool. Naturally my stash will go down in time, ok I am blaming grief madness again because that put me into spending mode and stash build up

Mosaics, I have thought of every which way for things, the garage walls are full and I still have to find room for an aluminium step ladder. I now have a cupboard along one wall in 3 rooms, one wall with a window and maybe a chest or sewing desk along another wall, all areas are used and I still want to get another big picture up, languishing in the garage, one of DHs misty forest photos from the elan valley, which we loved.

Shutters are coming on 12th and I will free after that, to move things about in rooms, presently being a bit conscious to keep the window area free for access and certainly not feeling like tackling the small airing cupboard, which starts at waist height. I can see me being very ruthless with very good bedding sets but that is a job for when workmen have finished

I gave a good bulky air filter away this morning, to one of the builders. I remember buying them when hubbie had trouble with his chest during pollen time and I also dismantled and took a 3` padded rectangular pouffe/ottoman. Dd has no room either and other dd did not respond in a week, so off it went

Ok I will be much calmer and relaxed in a month or so. Its not a bit like stressful buying and selling, its just another stress-making unexpected nightmare

Morning craftyone, you are up so early!

Morning to you too Whiff, sorry I was in a bad mood yesterday. I've become very isolated and find some human's behaviour intolerable, staying off Facebook today.

Very sorry you are frustrated by lack of storage space this morning craftyone I'm probably too late, but could you mount the cheval mirror on the wall somewhere instead? Could you hang the airers up on a hook behind a door anywhere? Or buy one of those very large plastic garden storage bins they have at Homebase? I'm still avoiding my packed boxes, can't face them after the very sad box of photos.

I thought of you at your spinning wheel yesterday as my alpaca bed socks arrived from the farm in Devon. I wrote to thank the company, and received an apology back and an offer to refund them - they are made by a sock company in Leicester and aren't knitted from the fleece of the alpacas on their farm after all. They are UK fleeces though, so a lower carbon footprint. What is your favourite fleece to spin?

Apparently going to be very hot today, have a lovely day whatever you are doing.

It hit me yesterday evening, that there is no room left for storage in my house, not for an extra cupboard anywhere, I have reached the limit and it is depressing. More stuff is in the car, full of good stuff, things I never wanted to give away.

I went to bed very late last night, had to fetch my screwdrivers, to disassemble some big things because thay were too heavy for me to get down the stairs. A large, very good cheval mirror, with a back stand and chains. I could not squeeze it in, not anywhere, it was for sewing. I took all the screws out, used bolt cutters on the chains and it will be gone today. Two standing clothes airers. I even have a soft comfy chair in there, was intending to use it for spinning, it will have to go but not yet, I will push it around, see if I can keep it somehow

Ok so I have hobbies, what are we supposed to do just because we get older? Give every interest up just so that we can squeeze into little spaces and what then? go on cruises instead of being happy through making things

These new houses are much smaller than they appear on first sight. They squash bedrooms in when quite honestly one large room is better use than two small ones. I have no cupboard under the stairs and one bedroom is not even bedroom sized, there is just about room for a 2`6 bed and an ironing board. The developers have these floor plans that show beds but no storage and we all get so excited that we don`t think of storage until we move

So sad about this, I made so many drawings and plans before I came. I completely love being here but I see now that I have to do yet more downsizing, even after de-cluttering for the past 4 years. Not just the parting with things but the actual physical act of getting things out without damaging walls or floors

I am going to light a candle and send some energy over, to those that need it. You are not alone, we are all linked.

Hello Whiff and Craftyone, big hugs to you both, I'm in a terrible mood tonight so won't write now. Have a good evening x

We all need to talk, so many on here understand what we are going through, this house moving is pure torture and I honestly think the stress was worse that when my husband died because it goes on and on. The house buying system here is shocking, you can get right up to exchange and there can be a gazump or gazunder from people without empathy or inner morality.

My sleep was horribly disturbed too, I sometimes got up at 2 in the morning, no chance of going back to sleep, head was so whizzy, then I would have to nap in the day, exhausted and it would start all over again the next night

I carried on shielding my AC, never once did I let on that I was so stressed, I figured that they would only worry and there was absolutely nothing they could do

Whiff, thinking of you and crossing everything

Mosaicwarts thank you. My late husband was fond of saying" don't let the buggers grind you down". But it's hard when you keep getting knock backs. Grief is awful. In my experience it is never ending. My husband died 15 years ago I still miss him everyday. I think it would be easier if I wanted another relationship but I don't. It's not I don't think I could find love again it's the trust issue. We were a couple for 29 years married nearly 23 years. It was the day after his 18th we started courting , remember when it was called that. But it was 1975. I was 16 almost 17. I have found over the years you cope and the loss doesn't weigh so heavy. But it is always there. When he died I lost my present and future. I have always felt I lost half of me. From when he was first diagnosed with cancer we were told he would not live 5 years. That was January 2001 he died February 2004 , 4 days after his 47 th birthday. I have always tried very hard not to be a worry to our children but I know I am at times. I am very lucky I have a lot of people who love me and I love them. Just need to move to be closer to the family .
Try and rest as much as you can. I know that's not easy to do with all your worries. Your daughter is lucky to have you.

Congratulations Whiff, I do so hope this is the end of your selling journey!

What dreadful behaviour from your first and second buyers. Where an earth were they dragged up!

I don't think I've got the energy left for all that anxiety, I'm so exhausted at the moment, I'm not sure I can keep going with all this uncertainty and my daughter is really suffering from her grief at the moment too.

I agree that the law requires changes to protect both seller and buyer.

Thank you midgey. SueH49 a buyer can pull out at anytime before the contracts are exchanged they do not have to give a reason and there is no penalty. My first buyer moved into rented accommodation the day we should have exchanged contracts. She must have known she wasn't going through will it but didn't even tell her solicitor until days after she moved. My second buyer was at my house on the Sunday she pulled out the next day. Four days before the contracts were to be exchanged. With my first buyer I had waited 3 months from when I accepted her offer and the second 4 months. This time it I am just starting month number 4.
I have been in touch with the department in London which deals with buying and selling properties. Have been told they do not intend to change the law regarding this. English and Welsh property law is a joke. Why we can't have the Scottish law I don't know. I think once the searches, survey and price agreed that should be it. You have to put down a £10,000 non returnable deposit. If you pull out you have to pay a portion of that to everyone in the chain you have broken. The exceptions would be if who ever is buying dies or is diagnosed with a serious illness or has a serious accident or is made redundant. But they have to prove it in writing with documents proving the reason. Hope everyone is having an easier time of selling and buying.

Is there no penalty for the prospective purchaser who pulls out of a sale?

In Australia when an offer is accepted a deposit, usually 10% but may be more of the agreed sale price, is paid into a special fund and a settlement date decided. This can be anything but the normal is 90 days. If the purchaser pulls out they forfeit the deposit. A purchaser would normally make the offer subject to finance being approved but many already have the approval.

Up to 10% of the purchase price (ie deposit) may be released under various conditions to the vendor.
At least with this method vendors have a definite settlement date and if the sale falls through they have some compensation in the deposit.

Fingers crossed for you Whiff.

My solicitor phoned late yesterday afternoon to tell me the land registry and contract were ready to sign for my sale. I went straight away and signed. All the info my buyers solicitor had asked was ready to go and all paperwork was being posted yesterday. Hopefully their solicitor will get it today. Phoned my estate agent to let her know I had signed. I know I can't get my hopes up as this is the third time of trying to sell my house. If it all falls through at the last minute again I am seriously considering selling to one of these companies that buy houses. I know they won't pay full asking price but I don't know if I can go through all this stress and worry again. I can't relax until the contracts are exchanged . Had an awful nights sleep. Plagued with nightmares. Which I have had since my teens. At 61 I thought I would out grow them. Need to get in touch with the estate agent in Liverpool today and give them an update. Also need to get in touch with my removals company Pickfords to let them know I will be needing them soon. Can't wait to get some dates. Going out with a friend tomorrow to have lunch by the river severn .

Hope everyone is having some luck with their house sales and buying new ones.

No, there are no beds being left in the flat, and I need to have this double for me. Due to my back problem, etc. I need room to have pillows on either side when I sleep, one supporting my back and one to ensure my hip is being suppported. Cannot sleep in a single bed, even when I go to hotels I always pay extra to go into a room with a double bed.
When i thought I was moving a few years back, I did ring the company who sold it to me, and they said that most good removal firms would not have a problems.
I will discuss this with the removal companies when they come to give me their quotes

yes I had. Fortunately 2 singles and only 2` 6. We gave one away to the county furniture charity. One was taken by the removals company but did not need to be taken apart. I took the headboard off and fastened all the slats down. They would not have dismantled the heavy motor underneath. Its all elf and safety these days and I don`t think removals would do it, not a double that needed putting together by experts. Franbern you mentioned having a single in the new flat, why not ring the company and see if they will do part exchange with a new electric single going to your new home

Franbern - I don't know anything about electric beds but when I moved recently the removal company would not plumb in the washing machine or dishwasher and dismantling or putting together things was not something they could do. You would need to check when getting removal quotes.

Just wondered if anyone on here who has made a move had a double size electric bed. Mine is eight years old (My 70th birthday present to me), and was actually put together by the company in my bedroom. I am concerned that removal companies will not know how to take this apart (I have no idea), and put it back together again in my new home. Just wondered if anyone had experience of this.