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Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Thu 21-Mar-19 07:52:20

I have a bad stress headache today, never normally get headaches. I am buying a new house before selling my own, at least that was the plan. There has been a buying hold up, caused by waiting for sight of an important document. All in all 3 months has turned to 8 months. Just waiting for one document, which was `in the post` to nhbc

My buyer, february viewings, is starting to lay on the pressure. I had 25 extra and difficult questions to answer yesterday, some relating to building planning dating back to 6 years before we moved in, a new build.

The whole idea was that I would complete on my new home and move in stress-free, a bit at a time. I will definitely not move to rented. I had a string of people wanting to buy my property and will delay my buyer if needed

The stress is awful, widowed, doing it all myself and even with a good solicitor, I am churning up inside after yesterday`s questions

Whiff Tue 03-Sept-19 19:37:26

Mosaicwarts I agree with Craftyone if you are happy with his offer and he is genuine accept. Can't remember if you said he was a cash buyer. If so perhaps you could say you accept his offer but you want to complete in 6-8 weeks or what time frame you would be happy with. Have a think and see how you feel. Didn't realise how much easier life was when there were two people making the decisions. Even after all these years of being on my own I still find it hard. My children give me advice when I ask but the final say is always mine. Know I've made some wrong ones but hindsight is a wonderful thing. We live and learn.

Niobe thank you for that I have a 2 bedroomed bungalow. How many of the large ones would I need ?

Greta8 where have you put your sensors?

Sazzl hope everything gets resolved soon for you.

Joined a craft group today at the local library. Had a lovely 2hrs it was free including drinks and biscuits. Yesterday joined a sit fit class at a charity run coffee shop. Think I'll leave it at that at the moment. Gives me the rest of the week for myself and family.

mosaicwarts Tue 03-Sept-19 20:31:42

Hello everyone, he did offer the additional £5K so fees to EA paid smile Definitely not the price I wanted, it does affect the house I can buy in the future, and people will probably gossip about me being foolish 'giving the house away', but it's my life not theirs. I have had 21 viewings, sometimes with four people, tramping through my house and the feedback has always been the same from buyers, 'too much work'. This person called the house 'enchanting' and found its soul, I believe he should be its new caretaker.

The plus for me is that I'm hopefully going to be free of the worry this house causes me due to its size and age.

I've accepted formally online, given my solicitor's details, and have had an email back saying a Memorandum of Sale will be sent when both parties solicitor details are received. I've emailed my solicitor to let him know. I am worried about the survey if it states the approximate costs of renovation at £175-£200K - but this buyer said he will organise the renovations in a gradual way so he can spread the cost. The sash window specialist was happy to do the work piecemeal, rather than wholesale.

We'll have to see what happens. I will not become excited as so many of you have been kind enough to share your experiences, I know that anything could happen - including me winning the Premium Bonds!

Thank you for all your support, I really appreciate it smile

Ellianne Tue 03-Sept-19 20:39:42

Thanks craftyone, tomorrow is sunny and dry here so I'll get cracking.

Today I walked the dog round the block and bought 2 delphinuims grown in pots for £4 from someone's front drive. Tomorrow a company is coming to remove moss from the roof, then Friday our new blinds are being fitted. Must chase the new glass door unit with the cat flap.

Enjoy Bake Off.

Gagagran Tue 03-Sept-19 20:51:31

Been following this thread and am just so pleased for you mosaicwarts and, for what it's worth, I think you have done absolutely the right thing in accepting this offer.

You have had such a lot to put up with and winter draws ever nearer, which of itself would be a trial for you in this property.
Just have to hope now that it all goes through!

Keep strong - a whole new life awaits you once you leave there. sunshine flowers

Greta8 Tue 03-Sept-19 21:04:03

Whiff - We put the plug in sensors as near to where we heard the mice as possible, so one in a socket near the porch. One plug in on the landing and a battery operated one in the roof. We successfully got rid of mice through this method in our previous country cottage. Ironically one of my reasons for moving to a modern house is because I was frightened of having to deal with mice should I be left on my own if anything happened to my husband!!! Oh well, can' win 'em all!!! But much happier to have a more manageable house and garden and have the joy of seeing my new grandson much more.

boho43 Tue 03-Sept-19 21:08:51

mosiacwarts

Great news.

Fingers crossed again that everything goes as smoothly as it can for you. I think you have done the right thing in accepting the offer you were given as you will be worry free of all the hassles that go with an old house. Onward & upward now.

sazz1 Wed 04-Sept-19 01:09:35

Great news mosaic hopefully it will all go smoothly now for you xx

Nannytopsy Wed 04-Sept-19 03:04:56

Great news mosaicwarts and I hope it goes smoothly.
We are at DS’s tonight - never sleep well here, hence GN in the middle of the night! I am listening to the tawny owls calling. We find we have DGD (3) tomorrow morning, which will be a big help!
Our furniture arrives tomorrow and we can spend a couple of days sorting out the basics before we go to France. Only a week but we need it.
My advice ( if asked!) would be never to use a conveyancing company. Too big to care and very slow.

Niobe Wed 04-Sept-19 03:36:20

Whiff, we use one for a 5 bed semi detatched , double storied house and it seems to work fine. Amazon also sell various rodent repellers so it might be worth reading reviews of a few before buying.

craftyone Wed 04-Sept-19 05:52:34

Mosaics what you said was beautiful, he does sound like that special person who will take care of the project that your husband started. We are just caretakers

There are nice homes here between 250 and 300, most are 3 bedroomed (6 are sstc) and it is an area which is nice and homely all over with no bad areas. There must be similar areas in your locality. You haven`t got time to look right now but get yourself out on short breaks to small market towns, when your car is done, get a cup of tea and start chatting to locals there. That is how I found my area

Start today with a sense of optimism

craftyone Wed 04-Sept-19 06:50:54

mosaics you have just about go enough time to work out where to put the house money. Only 85k is safe in any bank, except ns&i which is safe to over a million. If you need any banks to deposit money then sort that asap because you will need all the identity docs for opening new accounts and it becomes impossible when you move, esp into rented

I opened virgin and already had nationwide, which are ok interest rates. You need banks that can give you good cashflow for when you buy. Ns&i was problem-free for holding the bulk. Later, tell your bank that you are expecting proceeds of house sale. Nationwide was the easiest for cashflow and I stayed with halifax for the big money transfers

Grammaretto Wed 04-Sept-19 07:15:10

I am so pleased Mosaicwarts to see that you have sold at last!
Ofcourse I knew the right buyer would come along.
I doubt anyone would think you are giving it away. It has been such a long slog. Well done!
You deserve a holiday now.

Whiff Wed 04-Sept-19 08:01:36

Mosaicwarts brilliant news after all your ups and downs . The way I found my new home was easy choosing the area which was Liverpool because my children are here. I next wrote a list of what I wanted in the property also a list of what I don't want. Also a list of things I was prepared to do is new windows, boiler etc. Next was how much I wanted to pay comparing how much to pay if there wasn't much to do and how much if there was quite a bit to do. Then I looked on right move made a list of bungalows I liked and then asked my children what they thought about the areas they where in. That soon whittled down the list. I ended up with a list of 6. First one was in a good area but one look from the outside I didn't want to go in. I did as it would have been rude not to. I had a good look around and said the positives about the place. I know how awful it is to hear negative comments about your home and wouldn't do that to someone else. The third one was the one I brought. It was £220,000. Two bedroomed bungalow in Crosby. It is a road of 2 bedroomed bungalows mainly semi detached a few detached.
Craftyone gives very good financial advice.

Nannytopsy have fun sorting out and then have a relaxing time on holiday. Hope the weather is good as a bit of sunshine can lift the spirits.

Niobe thanks for the reply.

mosaicwarts Wed 04-Sept-19 08:29:32

Feeling so shaky this morning, thanks for all your good wishes. I'm sure I'll feel better after the survey, to see if he is going to proceed smile or not.

Thank you for the banking info craftyone, I'll start opening accounts now.

mosaicwarts Wed 04-Sept-19 08:31:00

Forgot to say good luck Nannytopsy - hope your little grand daughter enjoys all the boxes! xx

Jane10 Wed 04-Sept-19 10:30:24

Oh mosaicwarts I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you. I so want you to be somewhere safe, warm and comfortable as soon as poss. I bet, once its all done and dusted and you've moved to an ideal home you'll have a new lease of life. I hope there's lots of offers of practical help available to you.
(Also, I wish you had a lovelier name!!)

craftyone Wed 04-Sept-19 10:31:28

The shakiness is after the adrenaline high, like withdrawal symptoms, it will go and you will settle again. If there is a survey appointment, then there is much hope

GrandmaMoira Wed 04-Sept-19 12:23:20

Mosaicwarts - Congratulations on your buyer and I think you are definitely doing the right thing. I had over 30 viewings and accepted a low offer similar to you. I think it's the only thing to do when you want to get rid of a big old house, as I also did. You are lucky to have a cash buyer - I had a long chain which created a lot more complications.

mosaicwarts Wed 04-Sept-19 14:03:15

Hello friends, coming back for a rest from admin tasks. Thank you for your nice comments, it makes me feel less alone smile

GrandmaMoira thank you for sharing, I'm glad you understand, my pink chinese lounge rug will never recover from the dirt walked in by the wandering many. I should have purchased some of the blue shoe covers. I'll be glad not to have to make my bed with my pj's and dressinggown hidden under the covers in future, every space here is full of something. No more viewings, hurray!

I've registered with two rental agencies, and emailed another one. Rental prices are so high, I don't know how young people manage their budgets, the nicer places here are £700+ per month. I will be renting for six months, I would prefer to be able to relax and plan my next move without any time pressure once the house is sold, rather than buy in haste. Jazz also likes the kennels here - not sure what I'll do about my elderly puss whilst I go exploring, hopefully find an honest neighbour I can pay to feed her. I did think of buying a caravan, but the site fees are £4K per year as it's an all year site, and no sub letting allowed, owners only.

I've opened a NS&I bank account, although I now understand I have six months protection up to £1M in my normal savings account. I wish, ha ha!

A person from a local removal/storage company is coming to give me a free quote for storing my house contents, I've got a week to clear my mind and decide what to take. I still haven't found the wardrobe instructions to take them down, we had to build them in the bedroom. If I do move to the south, they will take my stored items down there. I won't worry about the piano yet - so dangerous taking such a weight down 18 steep stone steps.

All feels a bit of a dream, but at least if it all falls through, I have done some minor preparations.

Postman has just been, and there is a letter for Steve from Saga. You'd think a company that specialises in older clients would have a vested interest in making sure their database was up to date, I did inform them of his passing in 2016 as we were insured with them then. I rang them and she assured me that his name would be removed company wide - it's really upset me.

Better walk my dog again - I'm pleased I walk an average of 5 km per day with my dog, I wouldn't walk anywhere if I didn't have him. Raincoat on ready, I must find a hat that makes me look less of a Vera understudy!

Ellianne Wed 04-Sept-19 18:04:13

I agree Nannytopsy about not using a conveyancing company. The buyer at the bottom of our chain used one and they were totally incompetent, keeping neither her nor anyone else in the picture.

mosaicwarts Wed 04-Sept-19 18:40:29

The EA has just phoned and I've just had another offer, which the EA is legally obliged to forward. It is slightly more. Good to have two people want the house in such a short time.

Ellianne Wed 04-Sept-19 22:55:38

Your dilemma will be which offer to go with mw. Have you formally accepted the first one? I'm not here to give you advice other than to say, trust your instincts.
We had a lower cash offer and a full asking price offer from someone who hadn't sold his. When we heard the latter was prepared to drop the price of his own to secure a buyer our gut instinct told us he was more committed so we chose him, (not purely out of greed!). Luckily it all worked out for the best.

mosaicwarts Wed 04-Sept-19 23:36:51

Hi Ellianne, I had already accepted the first offer formally smile, as he is a cash buyer and proceedable, I was attracted by the speed it could possibly happen, albeit such a low offer. On reflection he was trying to 'charm' me by saying the house was enchanting, wasn't he, I fell for it! I'm swinging between joy and misery today, the rentals that take pets seem to be quite grotty and a lot are on on main roads, I must tell myself it's only a means to an end. I couldn't bear for my cat to have had such a nice life here for 14 years for it to end with her being run over. Times like this I wish I had family I could go to.

The second offer person needs to get a mortgage and I don't think it will be possible to obtain one here due to the renovation costs, sadly. Good to get two offers in a week, I am so glad I went to this EA immediately after leaving the first estate agent at the end of May. When I left the first EA (only because they didn't advertise on RightMove, they were lovely) they said that viewings were rare over the summer period. I'm lucky to have had 10 viewings and two offers in the ten weeks smile

Thanks for writing, I feel a bit miserable after looking through some old paperwork. My son went through a very bad time at 16, and I've just found a report I'd completely forgotten all about. It was copied to my husband's golfing friend, who was a local doctor at the time. I see this man at the golf club sometimes when I walk through to the beach - he is extremely pleasant, but I wish he didn't know such personal information about my son.
Moving away will be good.

Off to bed, have to be up really early to walk my dog before taking the car in at 8.30 am, it's been such a long wait to get it fixed, I'm grateful it's kept going for long enough to get it into the garage.

Have a great day tomorrow smile

craftyone Thu 05-Sept-19 07:29:03

Try not to overthink the cash offer mosaics, take it at face value and hang onto the fact that you could well be out of there for winter. Your EA needs to help you get somewhere to rent, its what they do. The stress has changed hasn`t it but it is still stress, you can do it, try and sleepwalk through it. It doesn`t help that there will not be a leaving date for a while, renting will be hard to pin down until then.

Now to the bank: I only wanted to check my statement and for the first time they did that new double checking ie a code sent to a mobile phone. I am so poor at using the phone, only bought it because of no internet when I moved. Can you imagine going to a store to buy furniture and you have to get a text with numbers on it before you can pay.

Whiff Thu 05-Sept-19 07:52:06

Mosaicwarts I just wish I had a magic wand and could make all your worries go away. As I said in a previous post it is upsetting coming across things your had forgot for me it was seeing my husband's handwriting for you it's about your son. What helps me is I try to say the past is gone today is a new day and the future is what you make it. Unfortunately life will through many obstacles in your way . From what you have been through you sound stronger than you think. I know how hard it is to be positive and not to get your hopes up. But hang in there you will get what you want and get the home and life you want.

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