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Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Thu 21-Mar-19 07:52:20

I have a bad stress headache today, never normally get headaches. I am buying a new house before selling my own, at least that was the plan. There has been a buying hold up, caused by waiting for sight of an important document. All in all 3 months has turned to 8 months. Just waiting for one document, which was `in the post` to nhbc

My buyer, february viewings, is starting to lay on the pressure. I had 25 extra and difficult questions to answer yesterday, some relating to building planning dating back to 6 years before we moved in, a new build.

The whole idea was that I would complete on my new home and move in stress-free, a bit at a time. I will definitely not move to rented. I had a string of people wanting to buy my property and will delay my buyer if needed

The stress is awful, widowed, doing it all myself and even with a good solicitor, I am churning up inside after yesterday`s questions

mosaicwarts Mon 09-Sept-19 09:05:56

Wow Whiff, your first trousers in nearly forty years! Enjoy wearing them at 'sit fit'! Because of my psoriasis I wear leggings all the time, I just got fed up with people saying 'what have you done to your leg'. Always have to wear a long tunic top to cover my bottom.

Sorry your leak may have cost you £40, another good tip, I'm not on a water meter here.

Hope you're not achey tomorrow, I should join a class, my ham strings have definitely tightened up. Enjoy!

Whiff Mon 09-Sept-19 09:39:20

Mosaicwarts my son in law has psoriasis on both arms his elbows are especially bad. But he still wears tee shirts and short sleeves he is 36 and is very confident. I've got a long top on to cover wobbly bits. I've been exercising since January last year so I am glad to say my achey days after exercise are a thing of the past. It's my grandsons that wear me out but in a very good way. Hope you hear more good news about your sale.

craftyone Mon 09-Sept-19 09:47:37

whiff I know aintree racecouse and loved living in Liverpool until 1970

You obviously rate homeserve. I want to get onto a servicing cycle on a regular basis, my boiler is new, ariston and I have asked the plumber to come and service it early ie september rather than january, having experienced plumber delays in winter, I want to get onto a summer cycle. He insists that my next service on his list in january and meantime I am waiting too long for him to replace the faulty rad in the en suite. All adds up to me not wanting to use him just as soon as I am out of the snagging time. I am the customer, he is on site now, on a house being built but I will go through the site manager, again. Plumber ignores my hand written polite notes with phone number

I cannot read my water meter and my gas meter is low down too, have to kneel on soil. Octopus don`t do smart meters, I swore I would never use one but have mellowed

mosaicwarts Mon 09-Sept-19 11:58:07

Work people can be odd can't they. Just after Steve died I didn't have any money until probate, and switched the aga off to save oil. A few weeks later I discovered the tank had a hole in it - with oil leaking out. The boiler engineer that had been coming for twenty years helped me by telling me to rub soap into the hole, but after repeated assurances he was coming, never came again! I think I emailed him five times, and spoke to him on the phone three times. Really strange. I wonder if he'd had bad experiences with lone women or something, but felt sad I didn't have his support when I most needed it.

One tip I learnt from the beast from the east - modern boilers often have a 'condensate' pipe outside, which freezes in very cold conditions, and the boiler can't work. Just needs warmish water poured over it to thaw. My 82 year old aunt paid someone £80 to do this for her as she couldn't reach as she's only four foot four, I didn't comment, sometimes we just do what we have to do. smile

Whiff Mon 09-Sept-19 18:01:24

We always had Homeserve for donkeys years. I know some people don't like paying for something every month that they think they might not use. But as my husband always said it was piece of mind. Over 20+ yrs I have used them a lot. I have got their Plumbing and Heating plan with £0.00 excess which costs £32 for 12 months. Included in that is an annual boiler service. In my old house I had 3 lots of new mixer taps on my kitchen sink as if you have a leaky tap they replace the taps not just the washer. Lost count of other things they did. The stop clock in the kitchen went in the winter flooded the kitchen and soaked through the wall into the living room. The poor plumber was soaked with icy water. If we had to call a plumber it would have cost thousands as it was we were covered. He was there for hours. I always recommend them to people. They do different plans. The people who come to your home are well vetted and I have always found them friendly and polite and clean up after themselves . Have a look at their web site.

Ellianne Mon 09-Sept-19 18:16:09

Those of you on your own are doing so well. It must be hard coming across old memories of a past life, but onwards and upwards. And a change of scenery surely does everyone good.
Fingers crossed that those of you clearing out your lofts and rooms will soon be on your way.

craftyone Mon 09-Sept-19 19:40:34

It is raining and my tall water butt came today, no more rain forcast for the forseeable, so I spent a long time setting it up with folded tape holding the downpipe to the top bit of a water diverter, I made the screw holes too long but it`ll do until I get dry weather to sort it. I had fried potatoes egg and tomato for a quick lunch and maybe that is what has been causing me pain plus my bra is tight. Its scary getting pain when you`re on your own, especially in the mid chest area. Sis rang and calmed me down, no pains or tingles anywhere else

My tum is making rumbling noises so likely to be indigestion but it doesn`t half hit home that we are vulnerable. I am going to take my bp again in a bit and I will be back to having porridge for breakfast and got to lose weight. Bp is too high but I think it was because I was scared

mosaicwarts Mon 09-Sept-19 21:42:19

Hey craftyone I've had that sort of chest pain, I hope it's subsided now. Glad your water butt came, so much nicer to dip your watering can in and potter round - or are you using the tap at the bottom? Always so low, had to put ours up on a box. I gave my grass cutting couple my 'brush cutter' today, they were really excited, they've always wanted one. Too big for me, I would never have used it in a million years.

Might be the frying today that caused your indigestion? Got any Milk of Magnesia? Or Andrews? Steve used to eat Rennies like sweets. You don't often fry, or at least, mention that you have had fried food on here. I can't eat fried food at all now, seems to really upset me. Promise me you carry your mobile around with you in the house, just in case you ever need to phone someone. I think I told you I rescued a butterfly and was at the very top of the ladder and nearly came a cropper as the ladder tilted - no-one would hear me up here, the house is raised up from the road as you know.

I'm feeling anxious about the storage company woman coming tomorrow, but I do know her - her company used to do the school run in a minibus and I always had a good relationship with her. I've just remembered I bought her leather driving gloves years ago, she battled through snow to get the kids from school. I have no idea how much the storage is going to cost, just have to wait and see. Still no quote from the sash window specialist, I'm scared to open it when it comes.

My car still has the lights on, I can't face doing 60 mph at the moment to 'clear' the exhaust, wish someone else could do it for me. Will hopefully feel better once the survey is done and I know what lies ahead.

Off to watch Aldi v Lidl programme. I've just done an order from Asda, a home delivery - not so cheap now - don't seem to have much for £70! £8 of that was for 24 loo rolls, I like having a good supply in.

See you tomorrow smile

craftyone Tue 10-Sept-19 06:34:12

I hope the storage price is fair and not too much of a shock mosaics.

I think with me and my stomach, I am prone to heartburn, I did have to take painkillers just a few times after working so hard to make the garden, ibrufen always after a meal and only 3 times in total, paracetamol a few times at night. The bra compression did not help at all. I was ok later on but something like that always ups my resolve to lose weight and I have started by having healthy porridge with a veg soup out of the freezer for lunch. Tbh I am not surprised that something had to give, so very much stress over more than a whole year and it went on and on

Now I have to learn how to use these complicated heating controls, I am of a mind to have the boiler on a timer and to set the zone controls on manually so that the boiler makes the areas come on and go off. I have to get used to underfloor heating, such a big expanse of pipework, takes ages to warm up. Things are altogether too complicated.

Mosaics, could you not rev the engine while standing still?

Whiff Tue 10-Sept-19 07:49:56

Craftyone after I had jaundice I started having heart palpitations and a dull pain in the middle of my chest. My dr diagnosed acid reflux which she said was triggered by the palpitations or the reflux triggered the palpitations. I take Lansopraxole 15mg capsules 1 a day. I don't get the pain anymore. Haven't had palpitations for over a year. I had to have both children by emergency c section and a total hysterectomy when I was 38 . These operations left me with abdominal problems. If I needed the loo not for a wee I couldn't hold on and used to suffer with severe intestinal pain. Had bouts of diarrhoea. Since taking these tablets I don't get the pain ,diarrhoea or the inability to hold my bowels. Just wish I had talked to the Dr over 30 yrs ok when I had my daughter. I suffered needlessly. My poor husband had to plan routes with easy access to loos. My advice is see your GP. Don't suffer like I did. Sorry to bore you with my health problems but couldn't think of any way to explain to you otherwise. Also I have found I write as if I am talking.

You are so handy with diy you put me to shame.

I always have my mobile close to hand as because of my balance and I can fall. In the home I can usually get myself up but have had to call for help years ago when I fell in the garden in my old house. Don't know how we managed without mobiles.

Mosaicwarts my husband used to do what Craftyone suggests if he needed to run the car at high speed. Can't remember why he had to do that.

Yesterday my daughter had to get 2 new tyres so she dropped my grandson round to look after him whilst she got them. I was thrilled as I have waited for so long to be near enough to both my kids for them to use me as a babysitting service.

Hope everyone has positive things happening for them today.

Whiff Tue 10-Sept-19 07:54:17

Craftyone there where no instructions how to use the combi boiler. When Homeserve came the other week to give the boiler a health check and service I asked the engineer to should me how to use it. Which he did. I am always better if I am shown how to use something. Seems easier to remember that way.

Jane10 Tue 10-Sept-19 08:15:49

Whiff you could Google the instructions for just in case you forget how to do it all. Also there are often YouTube videos demonstrating how to do all sorts of technical type things.
I hope you all have less stressful days. sunshine

mosaicwarts Tue 10-Sept-19 08:26:49

Morning craftyone, you are up with the lark! Glad you were OK later on. You have been doing very physical jobs since you moved in, I hope the heavy stuff is nearly completed to your satisfaction. I must start having porridge again, it's such a great energy food.

I hope you can see the heating controls, I find these grey symbols hard to see even with my reading glasses. I've never mastered our boiler timer and haven't touched it since Steve died. When I turn it on again at the end of the month it comes on at 3 pm, goes off at 10 pm. Scared to touch it in case it stops working. Our boiler is 18 years old and the new engineer (we had the same person for 20 years but he disappeared) discovered the 'baffles' were worn - the other engineer had never mentioned them. Hopefully someone somewhere will replace their old boiler and I'll get theirs. The engineer said the old boilers are far superior to the newer ones and to keep it going as long as possible.

What a treat, underfloor heating - stupidly we stripped the whole of the downstairs back to floorboards, without filling in the gaps with sawdust as recommended. it's just a huge wind tunnel!

I am very confused about putting my stuff into storage. My possessions will look odd in a new house, and I really must aim for a new house to have a more relaxing life without the fear of maintenance problems. As a child my Dad didn't maintain our house, it was in a dreadful state, I could never have friends round. I need to be brave and say good bye to it all, to start a new life. I think I said I've offered my grandfather clocks to Steve's friend, so I've made a start. My daughter and I went for lunch yesterday and she said she feels incredibly sad about leaving the house and area, I feel the same but it has not been a happy twenty years for me here and need a fresh start somewhere new. She is happy I am renting a house locally for six months, she wants to get a job locally and save up whilst looking for a 'career job', it will be a good transition phase for us.

My dog's arthritis has flared with the drop in temperature, so no beach for him this morning, just the village. Lots of smells for him, as a male dog he really enjoys his 'sniffari'.

Have a good day. I am looking forward to Bake Off tonight, simple pleasures!

Franbern Tue 10-Sept-19 10:34:47

MW - not sure as to how good that advice is about keeping your old boiler. New ones are much more energy efficient, smaller and easily controllable. If I do make the move to the flat I am hoping to, I will be changing out the combi boiler there as soon as Spring arrives. It is 14 years old.!!!
For decades I used Homeserve, until a particularly bad experience with one of their engineers. Had a small drip, drip leak in my boiler - guessed it just needed a new washer, but engineer tried to tell me it was the boiler (then less than 8 years old), falling apart and I needed a new one. Even phoned someone to make an appointment with me for this. I played along with him, as soon as he left put in official complaint to Homeserve, cancelled the appointment and got another engineer the following day, who confirmed it was a washer, changed it and all was fine.
This horrible man was trying to take advantage of an elderly woman by herself. Did not work with me, but wonder how often this had worked, and he obviously got a good commission from getting these new boilers put in unnecessarily.
I did have my boiler changed four years back and am delighted with how efficient it is and, once I actually got to terms with it, how simple are the controls.
Did I mentioned that when the surveyor for my would-be buyers was here he wanted to test the Central heating and asked me to put it on. Turned the switch on the boiler to heating and checked the timer was on - and then panicked as it did not start up. Took me a few minutes to realise why. It was during the hot spell, I never have my heating higher than 20 and my indoor temperature was showing at 24. Had to turn the controls up to 26 to get the heating to kick in!!

Ellianne Tue 10-Sept-19 10:43:35

I hope you are feeling better today craftyone. It takes a while to re establish the body (and mind) when we move home, so don't overdo things. Whiff that's so lovely you were able to help with looking after your grandson, I'm missing mine, 200 miles away now when he used to be just round the corner.
mw I'm no expert but I would think storage should be around £60 a week. I can dig out our quote for a 4 bedroom house of stuff if you want, though my inclination was to get rid of as much "junk" as possible before we moved. I think I almost got it down to a 2 bedroom apartment!!

midgey Tue 10-Sept-19 10:47:01

My son told me that YouTube is the place to go when you want to know how to do something! So many videos of people showing how to do simple things! Very useful.

Ellianne Tue 10-Sept-19 10:47:15

Ah yes, boilers are always somewhat problematic. The one in our new house has an app on the phone to set the timings and temperature remotely. I've tried it indoors but I've no idea if it works when I'm out and about.

Artdecogran Tue 10-Sept-19 10:50:43

Crafty one read your symptoms with interest. Have you ever been diagnosed with gall stones? I’ve been fighting mine for nearly 30 years and can identify with your symptoms. Surprisingly stomach gas and flatulence is one of the symptoms. Buscopan can help, I take two 15 minutes before eating to stop some of the spasms.(as advised by consultant). Hope you can find out what it is.

aggie Tue 10-Sept-19 10:52:56

Before my move to the granny flat we lived in an old huge 4 bed house , it was never hot , just warmish , the engineer kept our old boiler going with the same story , but eventually we had to put in a new one ......... Well ...... the differance ! I had to turn the thermostat down ! and even had to open a window !

mosaicwarts Tue 10-Sept-19 11:00:50

Franbern, I do look forward to a new boiler, hopefully gas! To replace mine and all the pipework was quoted at £8-10K, it powers 14 radiators. Because of the chimney vortex we had to have the boiler built up on a concrete plinth, and the external flue is at a right angle to the platform verandah roof. Was a huge operation when it was installed.

Have just driven the car at breakneck speed and the lights are still on sad , it'll be a week on Thursday. I just can't drive fast enough for long enough, it makes me too nervous. I'm going to have to go to the place recommended by my garage. My car is so important to me here, we are a downhill walk to the village a mile away. Will be great when the local shop is a 'pop' around the corner.

Storage person isn't here yet but as she has five children I didn't expect her to be on time!

Auntieflo Tue 10-Sept-19 11:30:52

MW, is your car a diesel? I only ask because we also have one, and she has got very 'tired' lately. Mind you she is 16 now

We only use her for short runs, and I think that is the reason. I was also told to give her a 'good blow through'. Lower gear, keep revs up high, and drive along a motorway.

I think a long time ago, it would have been said that the car needed a de-coke!
But, we have a new car on order and should take delivery in a couple of weeks.
Good luck with yours.

petra Tue 10-Sept-19 11:37:13

Mosaicwarts
Just Erving your car won't work. The engine has to be 'under load' i.e. working.
Could you ask the garage if one of the mechanics could give it a thrashing.
That should be revving ?

mosaicwarts Tue 10-Sept-19 12:01:08

Hello Auntieflo, it is diesel, eight years old now and I haven't driven on the motorway since Steve died three years ago. The garage did take it for a fast drive after they'd put the cleaning fluid in petra. I just can't go on the motorway because I'm frightened I'll have a panic attack, I know it's a fear of something happening to me because I'm the only person my kids have got now.

The storage company have just left. They are a couple and I've known them as pleasant acquaintances for twenty years, they used to run the school run bus. They advised me to take everything I wanted, and they would help me pack.

They said in their experience it was best to sell anything I didn't want on ebay/car boot etc, rather than leave it behind. I had thought of leaving a lot of the items in the annexe so the new owner could let it, but as they pointed out, I'm selling it as a house, not a business, and need every penny to start my new life. I am always too soft and people have taken advantage of me in the past, it is good they have been so helpful. It's the wrong time of year for car boots but I'll start listing on ebay shortly. I get anxious about ebay in case I've missed a fault in the item, I need to be more business like and get on with it.

midgey Tue 10-Sept-19 12:51:13

MW Gumtree is free and local unlike eBay, you may find it much cheaper. Remember that people will always offer less so add a little to your price!!

Whiff Tue 10-Sept-19 16:38:16

Thank you all who said the manuals are available on line and you tube show how do things. Unfortunately I not very technically minded. But now I have my children close by I can call on them.

Mosaicwarts I found it very freeing getting rid of things I knew I didn't need anymore. As I have downsized it involved getting rid of a lot of furniture etc. Stuff went to family and charity. Tried on eBay but didn't get any takers .
My daughter and daughter in law have always found gumtree good for selling things. Hope your dog isn't in much pain.

I am having fun buying new modern things . There is so much choice and a lot of stuff doesn't cost the earth. Hadn't spent much money on my old house once we found out about my husband cancer and prognosis.

Hope every has had the sunshine today.

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