Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

I am fine now, completely 100%. I worked out what caused my almost fainting with heartburn. I bashed the back of my neck very hard on the half opened garage door, it was raining and I was keeping the rain out. This affected the very important vagus nerve. BP recovered and was very good later that evening. I was lucky, could have knocked myself out

So my garden is finished all bar the bench and 5 new fruit bushes arriving in november, stress has already reduced and I am back on the food that is really good for my body. I have slept very well for both nights since and am feeling energetic and internally calm. Today I will be riding my electric bike because I am going further and it is hilly

Re furniture, soon after husband died, I gave an amount of furniture away and compensated a bit by getting smaller modular-type pieces. these fit very well into my new home, especially the table, which is much smaller pale oak ercol with a flip open top, it can become a big table and is perfect for cutting out. I don`t have enough room for a big table any more

I would change the 2 big single beds for one larger single but they are hypnos beds and were brand new just a few months before hubbie died. They are very comfy but take up a lot of room in the bedroom, these new build houses have smaller rooms. I will continue using them, need to flip or turn my mattress and am glad to have a single size as it is very heavy. In six years, I will swap the mattresses so I then have the unused one and that will last another 10 years. I could then have one bed and base taken away but it is a high base with lots of storage, so I will have to see what the circumstances are then. The base will never be worn out, it is wood with canvas valances that lift for storage access

I did splash out a lot on pictures before I moved, then I had them all framed when I came here. They are all loosely painted animal based, light and smiley pictures. I mixed in a few of my husband`s photography pics, he had won national awards but I only kept 3. One of the ones I bought, they cost a lot when added up as did the double mount framing but it means that my white walls look so colourful. This one is on my chimney breast
www.artgallery.co.uk/work/267041
This one is in my kitchen
www.artgallery.co.uk/work/268194

I have them everywhere, cloakroom, lounge, kitchen, landing bedroom but they are all so cheerful and I will never need coloured paint on my walls. My neighbour has painted 3 rooms, lovely but tbh, energy-sucking paint

I have spent loads on my new home. last purchase was 5 more David Ausrin roses, planted yesterday but wow what beauty and the scent is gorgeous, boscobel is utterly beautiful. I have hammered on with the garden, done masses of physical hard work but I want to enjoy it fully next year. I also bought a keter in a sale, already put my lafuma in it, which was being stored in the house
www.bents.co.uk/norfolk-leisure-hideaway-xl-anthracite-grey-bbaacc0130
plus 2 lovely column rainwater tanks, I don`t like tap water for many of my plants. I set a rain diverter up just before I banged my neck

I think I honestly have finished spending now but as a neighbour once said, no time to wait when you reach `that` age

When we moved we only took what we really wanted and the ACs took what they wanted and we let a house clearance company take the rest. We were both still working and decided that the sheer faff of trying to sell off individual items just wasn't worth it. We had accumulated 30+ years of just stuff. It was quite liberating to walk away.
Fast forward to now. Have I missed any of the stuff we left? No! It's so much easier to keen the new place clean and tidy too.

Craftyone glad you are feeling better. I have a couple of gardening questions you may be able to help me with. Can you grow a damson treein a large tub or does it need to go in the ground also when is the best time to buy roses and do you need special rose compost. My husband was the gardener and I had a gardener at my old house but now my garden is small so I can look after it myself.

roses in pots any time, now is good because the soil is warm and moist, add bagged manure/compost and rootgrow and they will do very well, Bareroot roses in winter, a bit cheaper. Re the damson in a pot, I read that plums are difficult in pots but you can buy large nice plastic pots cheap, I have several that look like half barrels and all contain a blueberry. It would need to go on pot feet and choose your position carefully as it will end up very heavy. There is a dwarf damson called merryweather and I would use john innes number 3. It would take 4 bags, so is heavy. This damson would I think be happier in the ground. I used to go to the lythe valley especially to buy damsons. I would personally put it in the ground

I might do a formal snagging list today, the site manager is lovely but hard for him to remember everything. I have 3 snags, best in writing tbh

Well we had a phone call at 8.30 from the surveyor and he's coming between 10 and 12 today. Very short notice but at least it shows our buyers are serious and their mortgage is going through. Fingers crossed this house passes the survey it's 1930s so not perfect.
It's over 6 weeks since we accepted their offer so hopefully things will move a bit faster now Don't really fancy living in our caravan for Xmas as it's only a touring caravan
Most of our possession are in our self storage we're renting near the caravan site. Will book our survey on the house we're buying after the surveyor has gone.
Good luck to everyone xxx

Well the surveyor was here for less than 10 minutes. Said everything was ok and valuation was good.
OH then rang a survey firm who had given us a quote to book our survey. He knew the address but not the postcode or who we spoke to before. The girl then said 'Do you know your own name?' at which point he hung up!! Unbelievable how rude she was.
I rang them back a got a really nice man and booked the survey but they can't do it until 1st October so a bit of a wait.

Colourful pictures craftyone. It's nice to personalise your new space.
sazzl I was surprised when we sold how detailed the survey was by the mortgage company but it might have seemed that way due to the time she spent entering everything on to her fancy laptop. Anyway, ours was a 1930s house with several defects but nothing was flagged up or queried. October 1st will come round soon!

sazzl it sounds as though you will be up and running soon

Anyone got any bright ideas on how to `downsize` clothes. They all fit me, many were hand made and made well, I have clothes for all occasions, allotment, hands and knees gardening, cycling, house, visiting, holidays, shopping, crafting with a group, warm weather, cold weather, house maintenance. Oh I do have to be ruthless, maybe I should start with the clothes that I have worn through the very intense garden prep. I am going to have to be in the right frame of mind, no point throwing good useful clothes out` just because`

I'm glad to come on and find you all having a chat. Great news sazzl, progress is being made!

I'm just feeling odd at the moment but I suppose it is the calm before the storm, it is only a week today since I accepted his offer. I rang the EA today and couldn't speak to my main person, she told the person on the phone to tell me she was still collecting information and would be in touch as soon as everything was collated.

In the meantime I'm not quite sure what to do, just wait I suppose. I don't want to sell my furniture now only to find I have to go back onto the market. I am naughty as I still haven't packed my summer clothes away, but I'll be culling them. Craftyone, could you do a Gok Wan on your wardrobe? Would you combine occasions ie shopping/visiting/crafting where you won't be perspiring or at risk of getting dirty, and perhaps remove two blouses/two trousers/two cardigans that you don't often choose as first choice? I love love love clothes and fabric and have a mountain I need to tackle before moving, hardly any of it fits, but I like embroidered/indian ethnicy things. I also have a lot of wool jumpers I was going to shrink and prog mats with. I seem to collect craft items and never start the crafts.

My daughter has just told me she's off to Belfast again on Friday - I am having a private pity party, I'd invited her to go and see Red Joan at the cinema Friday night. Will, as usual, be me and my M&M's and a magnum!

I'm scared of the predictions of another beast from the east in Jan/Feb, I'm not sure I can cope with it again.

I think I might go to bed, I'm a bit overwhelmed tonight.

Love to all!

Ahh mosaics I remember that feeling all too well, not feeling sure enough and scared to start the sorting process and never wanting to jinx the deal by starting anyway. I think that going back to basics is important ie who will be living in the new property for the rest of her life, how big it should be for her to manage physically and financially. How much furniture does she comfortable need plus a want or two to add to that `just because`

It`s very very tough and very different to starting out life, when we were bright eyed and bushy tailed and full of energy, now it is a hunkering down to get comfortable so that we can remain healthy and happy as we get old. Only you can make your decisions mosaics but your load will lighten from your shoulders at each step of unloading

It is silly o`clock, I am up eating an oatcake and drinking chamomile tea, I still have a restless mind but I did start the clothes cull before bed and have 10 garments folded neatly ready for the charity shop. No point lying there, hence the drink and snack to soothe. I bet I am not the only one awake and restless

Craftyone thanks for the gardening advice. I want to get a Gertrude Jekyll rose it is a lovely pink and smells heavenly. I'll put the damson into the ground . Didn't think about the weight of a heavy pot. I found sorting out clothes was easy as because of my weight loss all my clothes were to big. The charity shop said there was a demand for larger sizes. The clothes I got rid of were 32s, 24s, and 22s.

I got rid of a lot of furniture and stuff. Hung on to 2 bedside cabinets as I thought they could go in the spare room but now realise they are to big. Something else to get rid of. I started packing and sorting as soon as I found the bungalow didn't really want to do it to early as I was worried I would jink it but had to risk it as I was doing it on my own. My son got everything out of the loft for me. But I did everything else. Family took loads to the tip. After a while I found I was enjoying myself and felt a sense of achievement for doing it. Sounds odd I know.

The pest man came on Tuesday and found no further evidence of mice. Yesterday my electronic pest repellers plugged them in straight away. I brought 2 large ones from Screwfix my son laughed and asked if I was trying to clear the road of pests. My have been overkill but I don't want them back. I went shopping with him my daughter in law and 1 grandson he's brother was poorly and said with his other nannies. Had a great time got a Regatta jacket as with going on and off buses I needed a proper waterproof one.
After they dropped me off I found my living room, and bedroom and shower room windows alive with flies . After killing 68 of the things which was surprisingly easy as they seemed sleepy. Got my son to come over as I had noticed they were coming out of the loft. By then I had killed more of them. There were only a few in loft. He cleaned all the floor of any mouse dropping up there and I got him to seal the edges of the hatch with tape. He though it was the repellers that had probably worked on them as well even though it was on the rodent setting. Has this happened to any other repellers users? Only killed another 7 no sign yet of anymore.

Sazzl when I had the survey done on the bungalow I had the middle one it cost £450 can't remember what it was called but it covered everything. It took him a couple of hours to do. My first buyer who pulled out her surveyor was at my house for 3hrs. The couple who brought my house their surveyor was only there for 10mins. As he was sent by the mortgage company and it is only a valuation survey. They didn't bother having a proper survey done.

Hope everyone has a good day.

I wonder if the flies were cluster flies and they came out of hiding because it was not comfortable any more. They look like bluebottles but are slow moving and come indoors for winter, into window frames, into lofts etc. They are harmless but obviously not nice

I did have another few hours sleep, body was a bit stiff and achy last night, one of the joys of older age, I think that woke me. An oatcake always makes me sleep and I keep a few in a box by my bed

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I've woken up feeling a bit better today. I need to learn to cope better with my anxiety, it has only been a week and he is a very busy working man. I wish I had just said 'Thank you' in reply to his text, but he did say that he thought comms should now happen through the EA so I hope my silence shows agreement. As a child I had nothing, and find it very hard getting rid of things as I spend so long choosing and making sure it's 'value' for money. Hardly anything here will fit into a new build. Need to go white and bright, love your pictureds craftyone.

Sorry about your flies Whiff, reminds me of my 'greedy' tale! We stayed at a friend's house and in the night I went down to her larder as I felt hungry. As I leant in to her cupboard larder towards the biscuits, I suddenly felt something on my cheek - and it stuck - one of those yellow fly catcher things! Covered in dead and dying flies! So funny looking back, caught in the act.

I've been interested in your rose discussion. My friend's 97 year old father passed on the 26 August, and I've been searching for a rose to send her. There is one called 'Special Dad', but I do prefer David Austin. Can't make up my mind.

Glad not to have anything on today, just dropping my daughter off at the beach to meet a friend. My dog's leg is still hurting him but I'm going to try him on the beach for a short run today. Car is still showing the lights so I will have to go to the place that clears systems, and I'm nervous of the drive.

Have a good day, it's oddly quiet here, no bird song.

Craftyone they were as you described. Try to take it easy day. You saying keeping oatcakes by the bed reminded me in the early days of living with my husband he keep a tin of plain chocolate digestive biscuits by the bed as he woke in the night hungary. He was slim . I banned them after a few years as they weren't good for my waist line who says no to a chocolate biscuit.

Whiff we are having the middle survey on the house we are buying just to make sure we will be aware of any big problems. The survey yesterday on our home was a quick measuring of rooms and garden. Took photos of each room. The surveyer said this type of survey is really just a valuation and a waste of money but mortgage company want it done. He was here less than 10 minutes and said it all looked up together so nothing to worry about.
Mosaic you feel better when you have sorted something out and packed a box. I put it off for ages then just did an hour a day one room at a time. Upstairs is packed and cleaned but I'm dreading doing the kitchen so many pots and pans some not used for years

Thanks sazzl, I hurled stuff everywhere to declutter before I went on the market, I now need to go through the boxes. I bought them in Lidl, they aren't great but will do until I get 'official' ones.

I've been sitting here ordering my dog's special menu diet on line, I am worried the price will shoot up after Brexit.

I've been waiting to give my daughter a lift, she's just called down to say her friend is picking her up. She's the only one in her friendship group without a car and they are very good to her. Her Dad never offered to buy her a car when she passed her test at 17, I think he was too worried to let her drive at such a young age but round here being mobile is essential.

I've still got my daughter's car boot items in the car, so need to get it all out, and start packing additional car boot things ready for the last car boot of the year outside Homebase in October. I'm bound to know someone there. Many of the things were bought in car boots, it's a great way of recycling isn't it. I'm too nervous to do the big one twenty miles away on my own, I always need the loo!

I do agree with sazzl, once the packing mojo starts then the roll starts and it becomes quite pleasureable. I aimed to keep empty most shelves and cupboards in the kitchen to start, they I wiped them and job done. I had 2 sizes of boxes, bearing in mind that I would initially be hoisting them. They come with handle holes. Very important not to get too big. I used packing tape and a dispenser and a fat black felt tip pen. This company, they were very good and will be loads cheaper than removals company boxes
www.kitepackaging.co.uk/scp/boxes/cardboard-boxes/

I have started to have easier days now and only re-did some garage storage this morning, for gardening tools. It is very much neater now with one more trip to the tip later and to the charity shop with clothes

Thanks for that craftyone, I'll get some. I'm just going to flop on the sofa, I've walked the dog, washed up, and hung up my daughter's washing which is mainly socks. How she wears so many I'll never know!

I'm really pleased I've just had some inspiration - my friend's Dad, who has just passed, was a sculptor, the cremation is on the 20th. I've been going cross eyed looking at 'Dad' roses, none of which really appealed and suddenly thought about his sculptures. He used card, metal and bark so I've had a real adventure this pm looking at native tree barks. I've chosen a silver birch to send her, its Celtic symbolism is new beginnings and protection. Hope it arrives before the cremation, reviews have a few complaints about delivery.

just looked at the boxes and can't face it yet ... I find cm so hard to work with, ha ha! thank heavens money changed whilst I was still at school or I'd still be thinking in old money too!

oh silver birch, I love that tree, beautiful choice

To help with box sizes, put a fairly neat stack of books together as they will be the heaviest boxes. That will give you an idea for the smaller ones. Bigger ones would contain lighter things like kitchen utensils and pans and chopping boards. Photos could go into the smaller boxes.

Today a party wall surveyor called, I knew a development of 6 houses was going up behind me with carparking behind my garage on the left of my garden. He said that the plan was for a soakaway to be built in that vicinity and his job was to check my garage condition etc. I share the garage build with my neighbour but I was the only one in. I saw the extent of the soakaway here, massive so that one will be massive. Sigh, he had to check for cracks etc and if I get notice then I can employ my own surveyor at their expense. So I have now told my neighbour and done a bit of research, finding that there has to be 5m between the soakaway and any footings. Now I wait and see and have to trust that the planning reg people are vigilant. This when my husband would have been spot on, his structural engineering and civils background. The only thing we can do is take umpteen photos and file them. I do believe that these surveyors have to work to the code rather than the builder

There is something to be said for getting a home in a settled area with houses already all built

So I went to the tip and garage is fully tidy, I rather like this not having to get on and do heavy work. I also went out on my bike, only 8 miles but up hills, testing my ressurected electric bike, sadly unused since before my husband died. I soon got my confidence back

Oh craftyone 'sharing' is going to be hard for me, I've not had to have anything to do with neighbours for years since the 'septic tank' debacle. Neighbour next door refused to allow us to investigate when the septic tank was full after three months - I know! We were paying every three months for it to be emptied and realised something was amiss and asked if we could access his land to check the pipe. We had to go to a solicitor in the end, it was ridiculous. He finally allowed us into his garden with his 'friend' in attendance - and he had broken the soakaway pipe when he'd had his drive done. I remember him coming round to say we definitely couldn't go on 'his land', standing in my hallway asking me if it could be blocked because of my putting 'fat' down the sink. Cheeky ass, as though I'd do that as a mature woman. We only spoke again because the person that found Steve went to his house to ask him to call 999.

Glad you can relax with a tidy garage now, I've only half done the store room and the weather has gone all rainy/spitty. Got my rubbish collection day wrong so still have a bin chocka block of old tools with a pongy bag of rubbish perched on top - we are fortnightly rotation recycling/rubbish.

I am with that electric bike ride with you, what fun, my neighbour has one. Have you got sunflowers around the edges of the fields like us?

oh sigh, yes mosaics the enforced adaptations that we must do so that we can be safe and not lonely in old age when we would rather be independent spirits. The upside is of course that we could have a jolly nice old age, apart from aches, just because of all this forward planning. If truth be told I would be happy in an isolated cottage in the woods, surrounded by herbs but sensible hat has to be on head. Even Hannah Hauxwell had to give in

I would love company on my electric bike, to go to the farm shop cafe for lunch but I will still go and I will people watch.

I am lucky, my neighbours are nice, always asking me this or that or wanting my approval of their colour schemes

The plastered came last night to look at the state of the walls and ceiling in which will be my bedroom. All needs plastering . Thought it would . The ceiling and walls had been lined and wallpaper on top then painted. Also where the bolts were for the fitted wardrobes needs patching with some new plaster board. New carpet needs to come up. Have to get in touch with fitter. Haven't got to much in there but it needs to come out. That's the only downside to having a smaller home less space to store things. Boxes can go into the garage but don't want to put my wardrobe on there. Depending on when the plastered can do the job have to put my decorator on hold.

Going to Ikea tomorrow to plan my new kitchen. May not have that put in until next year have to get advice from the children. At the moment the only cooking appliances I have is a large slow cooker which makes enough dinners for 6 nights. Also make my soup in it. I reheat in the microwave also have a toaster.

I knew when I brought the bungalow that there would be things to do . But life was so much easier when my husband was with me. I really miss him. Even after all these years still feel half of me is missing. As you can see I am having a bad morning. Pickfords still hasn't been resolved. He would have sorted it all by now. He was a take charge man. Oh hell haven't cried over him for months why today. I hate feeling sorry for myself but at times it just all feels to much. I know it is for want of a better word wicked of me feeling sorry for myself when I have such a lot of good things in my life. Grieving sucks. It's never ending for my husband. Why is it the one person you want and need you can never have again. I try so hard to cope with everything but at times I just want someone to take care of me. Someone to make all the decisions . Someone to make it all better.

Whiff you are like a whirlwind and you don`t sit back procrastinating, you grab your chances and go forward. Even strong people crack sometimes, we all do but that is good, it lets it out a bit so that we don`t explode.

I woke up aching again and it isn`t even raining, I think it is the autumn aching so I will be taking cbd every day now, just a bit. I haven`t taken it for a couple of weeks, maybe I will re-visit some of my herbal remedies or homeopathic remedies, I do know that I can usually manage to keep the aches under control without painkillers but I let it all slip while I was so intent on getting the hard graft done, I had a one track mind

Energy billing is good so far, I have had 3 bills with octopus, each total is around £42 and my excess has built up massively to just under £200, nice for winter. I never thought I would ever want a smart meter but the gas meter is 6 inches off the ground in a flower bed, stupid place to put it. I have ordered 2 rubber rectangle stepping stones to bed in there, so at least my kneeler does not get muddy

Whiff I would buy a halogen cooker if I were you. They are not expensive and act just like an oven although a rather hot one. I seldom use my big oven for the two of us and rely on my halogen and microwave. The big oven comes on when the family come or I am baking, which is not often these days.

Of course you miss your DH and always will. I am sorry that you feel so sad today. Before my late sister-in-law died from terminal ovarian cancer, she told her only daughter that if she had a bad day and needed her Mum, "Just pull the string to wherever I am and I'll be there with you". Maybe that might be the same for you.