Strange neighbour

Immediate thought is that this might be a mental health issue, since you are not making a noise and it seems no-one else is.

Short of suggesting the next time it is loud that she comes to you whilst it is still going on, and you go to listen and try to identify together where it is coming from. (She may of course announce that it has gone quiet as soon as you go through her door), I don't know what else to suggest, apart from asking if she had a noise problem at her previous home.....

Has she got tinnitus? My late FiL was convinced that the teenage lad next door was playing 1940s songs full blast in the middle of the night (as if!!). It was when he asked my DH what was playing on the car radio, which wasn't switched on, that we realised that he might be 'hearing things'. His mind was obviously trying to make sense of what he thought he could hear.
Otherwise, yes, see if you can find out if she's has problems with noise before, or ask her to record it!

Thanks for your responses, she did actually mention leaving her last property because of noise!
I'm hoping it will settle down and I'm perhaps over reacting or reacting too quickly.

Oh dear ! If it continues ask her if she's got tinnitus or whether she suffers with her ears. Sounds to me like my friend's daughter who had paranoia.

Am also thinking she has some sort of mental health condition, is it possible to find out who the letting agent is and have a word with them?

Agree with others who say invite her in to show that there is no music playing or drilling.

Also agree with speaking to the letting agent.

I don't think I'd want to invite her in tbh. If she is suffering from paranoia even that probably might not convince her. I think ignore.

I'm with Gonegirl on this one. sounds harsh I realise but this is odd behaviour and I wouldn't want to get drawn in if I could avoid it.

Good point, both.

I had a neighbour like this years ago. Looking back, I think she perhaps had mental health issues. It was very difficult at the time but, in the end, she moved away.

I hope your situation gets resolved.

We had a neighbour like this when we were students. She thought we hoovered late at night and sent 'vitreous' through the walls. She was suffering from schizophrenia.

My cousin who is an extremely astute and fit elderly lady has recently moved because of the last three years ‘of hell’ she has lived through with her next door neighbours The rowing through the night, the banging, the child screaming and running around banging everything and yet when anyone has stayed the night with her they never hear anything , the neighbour on the other side never complains My cousin doesn’t have any mental health problems gets out and about and leads a happy and stable life but has dreadful nights because of all this noise going on No one has ever found out what it is the family next door can be noisy (daytime) so does that stay in her head and re run at night, does she really sleep and dream it, or is there really all this terrible stuff going on and it just doesn’t happen on nights people stay over ? She says she can take it no longer and has now moved so we will never know

I have tinnitus in my left ear which is a high pitched hissing. I manage to ignore it. I sometimes hear a low sound like an engine ticking over and get up to see if there's a car outside. These sounds can mimic everyday noises.

Difficult for you to know how to help her- or ignore her. Is there any way you can find out whether the same thing happened in her old home? Tell her you'd like to help, but there's not a lot you can do as the noise isn't coming from your house. Sorry, not much help.

I would keep a diary of her complaints , just in case she complains to the council and speak to the letting agent . It sounds like it could be a mental health issue , but you have to think of yourself as well.

Sounds a bit like my mother in law, lived in a semi detached bungalow and insisted she could hear her neighbour singing hymns and playing the organ all through the night. My father in law never heard a thing. The council put sound monitoring equipment in her bedroom & all it picked up was the sound of her sleeping. She still insisted that she could hear it. She was later diagnosed with dementia plus some other mental health conditions. She later on heard more & more things.
Difficult situation for you Dee, I think the suggestion from a previous reply that you keep a diary of her complaints is a good idea.
Good luck.

I've had experience of a neighbour complaining about noise, music, hidden cameras, running a catering business from home - none of which ever happened. Turns out he had a mental illness. People can imagine things, or be paranoid, delusional. Mental illness is not uncommon.

My first thought too was tinnitus. My DM was convinced someone was using a machine of some kind during night like a sewing machine. Next door didn't even have one. Or perhaps neighbour is fixated on noise of any kind, perhaps mental health problem. Do you know where she has moved from?

Exactly what I thought.

As in keep a record

It’s difficult because she might start getting belligerent or frightened if you question her reality! I would not start inviting her in or encourage her in case of dementia. Maybe say I’m in bed at 11 latest so that’s strange or I haven’t got a drill or I don’t like loud music. Then contact the letting agent. Also keep a diary of any strange behaviour. Years ago we had an elderly neighbour who actually started making strange noises at night banging , then we noticed he was wearing three ties and using his pyjama top as a shirt - so we called the GP and yes that was dementia.

Certainly invite her in to ‘hear’ the ‘noise’. However, there does seem a mental problem here.

I’ve heard this before, very recently,so could’ve been on Gransnet!? Ask her to knock on your door WHEN the noise is happening ...listen if you can hear anything..if not ...I’m afraid it’s mental illness. If it doesn’t settle down you may have to contact her landlord and e plain situation. Good luck.

Towards the end of her life my mother suffered some form of hearing disorder which made her 'hear' a combination of Sing something Simple and a 1940s singer, she could never remember who.
I think your neighbour has a similar hearing problem, but how you convince her of that, I don't know.

Years ago my aunt, living in a tied cottage, had a neighbour who would often call abuse at her when she pegged her washing out on the line. One day she came round to my aunt's side and tried to strangle her.

That's why I say leave well alone. Just smile and be polite.