Grandaughter scared of my 2 dogs

Eazybea, it may be an irrational fear to you, but it is not to the person who has the fear or phobia. Would you like say mice or rats near you? Try and think of being next to something you really dont like. The lady is not being 'pandered' to as I see it. The group is showing consideration for a member who has difficulty with cats. If the lady was allergic to cats, would you still think it ok to have the cat in the room?

A child’s fears are real. Where they come from is the mystery, take them seriously though and definitely keep the dogs away when she visits.

How often have we heard of a lovely family pet turning on a child?
My sister was bitten by our dog out of the blue, we had grown up with him.
My mum saw it happen, it was an unprovoked attack. Fortunately there was no serious injury but the dog was put down, no second chance.

I've never been keen on dogs but my pet hate is snakes. I couldn't stay in a house where there is one, even if it was shut up out of sight.

I would have somewhere comfortable for the dogs where they can be shut away from your GD, preferably outside. Perhaps somewhere with netting or similar so that she can see them from a window. Later, perhaps, she can see them in there from the garden and the next step could be that they are in a room in the house, but behind a barrier.

That might be as far as you get, but if she can cope with that, it's progress.

I've known of children who've been scared of dogs because a parent (usually the mother) has always told them not to go near them because they will bite, are dirty, carry germs, etc.

Not saying that this is the case here, though.

I have always been scared of dogs. If I visit someone with a dog I am most uncomfortable. To make this worse, many dog owners think you are strange or stupid for not liking them, even if you are asthmatic.

As a dog owner I certainly never assume that everyone (friends or family) loves my dog.
A fear of dogs is understandable & surely you can manage this by either segregating the dogs when your granddaughter visits or putting them in a kennel/ with a dog boarder if she comes to stay with you?
I do wonder if it is the fact that there are 2 of them causes her extra concern? Our 3 year old granddaughter is quite comfortable with our dog but is much more anxious at her other grandparents where they have 2 dogs (which bark & fight a lot).
As a dog lover & large breed owner I also admit to being a bit nervous around some small breeds who can be a bit nippy & yappy (not saying your dogs are).
Our granddaughter lives away & we face time once a week her first words usually are hello Nanno can I speak to Topsy (the dog) please!

I took your post as asking for practical ideas....it probably isn’t great for you-or the dogs- for them to be confined when she is there. But I can’t think of how else you can deal with it really. We would like a cat now but our GC would be frightened of it....easier to put it outside but if she is staying, I’m not sure what we would do. Interestingly our other GC who is much younger, isn’t scared of any animals. I agree that its pointless to ask why, and upsetting for your GC ...she will hopefully grow out of it.

Get rid of the dogs .

My 7 year old granddaughter is scared of dogs and finds visits to the park intolerable. I remember a big dog barking in her face when she was a toddler in her buggy. I was bitten in the face by my aunts farm dog when I was nine so I have no love or trust in dogs. Recently someone shook a collection tin at me for Dogs Trust. I said I didn't like dogs. The person could hardly believe what I'd said.

You need to kept dogs and child apart. I am not a dog lover at all, attacked as a child and husband suffered a brutal dog attack 4 years ago which put him in hospital and had to have surgery. Being walkers we come across a lot of dogs and they start jumping up and barking and then the owners say "He/She is only playing". Perhaps you could get a cute toy dog and introduce dogs slowly and safely only if you are totally sure of your dogs safety to your grandchild. Or could someone else look after the dogs when you have your grandchild? Good luck.

It would be a pity if she goes through life scared of dogs.
I would try anything to get her to see they are friendly while warning that not all dogs love children so to be careful of strange dogs.
Luckily my DGC all loved our dog before she died at a ripe old age & she adored them!! Especially if they dropped food on the floor when they were tiny- she made a great hoover.

Can't believe all the dog haters on here. You can learn a lot from a dog. They are loyal, faithful animals who give unconditional love. Our GC were scared of our dog when they were little, but they gradually overcame it and used fight over who could hold her lead in the end! Keep trying with your GD MooMoo and I'm sure she'll come round. Good luck!

I cannot understand why people are expected to like dogs and if they don’t then they need to be desensitised or just learn to like them. In my mind dog owners are often unreasonable and let their pets charge up to you, jump up, lick you. Ugh ! They say things like “ He won’t hurt you, he is just being friends or He likes you “. When will dog owners accept that much as they love their smelly pooch, some people don’t. Some dogs are aggressive, dangerous and out of control.
I think it is very sensible to be wary of them and think all dogs should, by law, have to be muzzled when out.

Thank you all for your replies. We have had the dogs for 3 years now, at first my grandaughter would have them on her lap and run around the garden with them. She has never been allowed to be with them on her own. This fear has come on over the last couple of years. They are fussy dogs and like to say hello and then go off. She doesn't like other dogs or cats. I have shown her the photograps of her with the dogs when she was younger and they were puppies. She has a brother who is 2 who will tolerate them in the same room as long as they don't jump up at him.. She is quite happy to poke treats into their cage for them but goes mad when they are out. My grandaughter does come first before the dogs and always will. I am just a bit baffled by this, she has never been bitten by a dog.

I am so scared of dogs that when my friend, who lives an hour's journey away, got a dog I was hesitant to visit her. When I did it jumped on me, barked so much and generally snapped at me whenever I moved. I have chosen to not to visit her anymore simply because of the dog. She no longer goes out longer than 2 hours because he gets upset when she goes out. So I guess our friendship is slowly ending after 35 years. My grandchildren would always come first instead of a dog though and I would keep it far from them if it scared them too much. On the other hand that's me as someone who's scared of dogs , it must be difficult to get it right if the dogs are a part of you.

I too was bitten on the face by a dog age around 3, never allowed dogs while growing up as soon as I got married parents got a dog, don't remember being afraid of them at all, have dogs of our own now. The little boy over the road was afraid a fear put in by his mum and fear of germs but we got him cuddly toys and books with dog stories for birthday and Christmas, gradually he got used to him and now when he comes over asks for him to be let in garden and throws ball for him, still not to keep on touching him. So I would say take it very slowly and let kids get used to them and make the first moves themselves.

I was brought up with dogs and am not scared of them, nor do I dislike them. I do however dislike the owners who can't be bothered to train their pets, treat them like babies, let them run loose or on very long leads in public places and expect everyone else to love them (I'm definitely not saying this applies here, btw!). The "he won't hurt you, he's only playing" mantra is so irritating. Especially when, as happened to my husband, the dog then proceeds to bite your leg, drawing blood through denim jeans. Apparently that was because he was carrying a newspaper. Good job it wasn't one of our young DGS carrying it then, isn't it?

As you say, your grandchild has to come first, OP. Give her time, away from your dogs altogether, and she may grow out of her fear. On the other hand, perhaps she won't. When you say they are fussy dogs and like to say hello, does this involve jostling her or jumping up, which she would find scary?

We have two well behaved smallish dogs, and 5 grandchildren added 18 months to 7 years. I have never left our dogs alone with our grandchildren because children and dogs are potentially unpredictable. I’m not risking even one little nip from a dog, whether or not in self defence.

One granddaughter who was very ok with our dogs ? is now quite nervous after being frightened by a dog staying with her other grandparents. She will, after a while, play with our dogs but I don’t think that she will ever be as relaxed as she used to be, I’m afraid.

Typo! Should have been aged, not added ✅

My little DGD and GGCs come here on a regular basis and I always make sure that the safety gates keep them away from my 2 x dogs,one is like the OPs and a Lhasa so she is very small she is also very friendly the other one is a Basset Hound who also is very friendly with everyone she comes into contact with (specially children) but she is a heavy dog and she just only has to knock into one of the little ones and they would fall over so the gates ate kept on separating them all the time.Children before dogs every time in this house.

It's odd that this has come about recently MooMoo but children often develop strange fears for a time for no apparent reason.
If things continue like this despite your best efforts you are left with only two choices
Either you only see your grandchildren at their home or you rehome the dogs. The fear the children feel may well transmit to the dogs and cause them to snap. I am a dog lover and have three but I wouldn't be comfortable with this situation if it persists.

agnurse gives some great advice about desensitisation therapy - if your granddaughter is frightened of dogs she needs to get over this for her own good during the rest of her life. Of course, her fears may be irrational or indeed based on the odd nip from one of your dogs, but there are thousands of dogs in the world, and she has to live with it. More to the point, people with fears such as these always pass them on to their own children in very subtle ways so something needs to be done to help her. Desensitisation works - I grew up with a totally irrational fear of snakes brought on by hallucinations after a very strong drug for unrelenting migraine - every time I heard about an escaped python 200 miles away I would have nightmares - eventually I visited a reptile sanctuary abroad where I was able to observe snakes, then handle them under very strict supervision, and now I'm OK. I still step back when I see one in my garden in my holiday home abroad, but I don't have any kind of meltdown.
I also have one grandchild who's wary of his own two dogs, whereas his sister is completely hands-on with them and totally in control. He has been like this since being a toddler in a buggy when he showed a fear of birds, especially pigeons. It's about not being able to control one's environment, and too much need for control is detrimental to the mental health of the person, so please help your granddaughter.

Don't her parents know why she is scared of dogs? It sounds to me as if she either was bitten when smaller or scared by a barking dog, or a male dog that tried to hump her.

For the time being keep the dogs out of her way. Shut the door to whichever room they are in and tell her that they can't get out and that she doesn't need to go in there.

I baulk at the suggestion that a child of seven should confront her fears - time enough for that when she is adult.

If no fuss is made, she might just grow out of her fears, but admittedly that isn't likely.

Are her parents fond of dogs, or is this an inherited fear?

"*desensitisation therapy*" - there it is again - people who do not like dogs need therapy. GRRRR!

Could be a phobia. My sister had a phobia of spiders. I can remember when I was 4 and she was barely 2, my parents coming in every evening and sweeping the ceiling because she was convinced she could see spiders on it. No one had any idea where this fear came from.

This child could have had a nightmare about dogs so long ago that nobody remembers it, least of all her, which is why she has this fear.

Stop wasting time discussing how or why the fear started. Just accept she has it and keep the dogs out of her way.