Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

I do not have anything new to report. This is such a 'Waiting Game'. I do realise that it is only just over two months since I accepted the offer on this house, but it feels much, much longer!!! A lot has happened to me since then!!!
I have (bravely) decided to arrange a second viewing on the flat, hopefully to do final measurements etc as to where furniture is going to go. I have also written to my Solicitor giving them MY selected Completion Date.
Last time I did this, everything collapsed a few days later which is why I am saying 'bravely'.
Now I am recovering from my operation I am starting to get more concerns about this whole removal business. Suppose for the past four or five weeks other things have been on my mind - also the thought that if it proved 'invasive' I would have to drop the whole idea of moving.
Fortunately, it was an excellent prognosis, so now I am catching up on all those 'put-off' worries.
These days there is such a short period between exchange and Completion, and having read on here of the nightmare people have had with regards to getting removal companies, even when thinking they had sorted it all out well in advance.
This is now worrying me considerably, as do need a good reliable company who will do all my packing. Have talked to my chosen one, and they have pencilled in MY chosen dates, but until I know something definitely cannot actually book them.
One of my daughters - who moved last year from Belfast to the South Coast here suggested to me that I should make a provisional booking with other companies, giving me more chance of, at least, one of them being able to meet the finallised date. Seems to me rather unethical, but that is what such short time spans drives us to doing.
I have never asked any of my children for help at any time. However, I have now asked my son, who lives 'up north', if he could take a few days of work when I am in the final stages of moving to come down to assist me.
I am told that the stress we have at this stage of 'waiting, and waiting' is nothing like the stress which is there when contracts do get exchanged and everything has to happen within a few days. That is when i will need someone with me.
Still half expecting it all to fall through. When people ask me about moving - I usually say 'I have no idea if I am or if I am not'.

memorandum of sale seems quite late mosaics but it also sounds genuine, thay will give you another couple of weeks ie perhaps 8-10 weeks from offer acceptance. Gosh great minds are afoot here, I am just off the phone to make an appointment to update my will, addresses etc. I have a pow from online, did it around 2008 and sister says it is fine. I hate doing these things, makes life seem so finite

I went through my paperwork file and have several pieces to shred. I don`t think I can do any more. I run my sipp (main pension) and have an expression of wishes ie what % each person gets and that is added to my will. Tbh, I need to get the will done and then forget about it all. It is stomach churning, keeping this stuff in good order

About where you want to live, sounds like me and I accidentally found here although only 12 miles from where I used to be. SW and warm and lovely people, not a million miles from where franbern will be but more inland. A market town and so far so good, am thinking I made a good choice, it was scary at the time.

Franbern, I am absolutely delighted to hear your good news. I worry about my health a lot as I'm the only person the kids have, Steve's family have never been involved in their lives.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your completion, the weather is only going to get worse, sooner the better.

I've decided I might hibernate, I'm scared of what's to come and want to hide. I feel cross the EA hasn't phoned me at all to update me that 'things are happening' at least.

I've just ordered £400 of oil, I'm not going to take any risks of us pipes/freezing because it's not happening after all. I didn't have the Aga on last winter but now know it uses 200L per month. Filling right up to the top of the 2000L tank so I can monitor the central heating use. Unfortunately having to use the savings, I had big plans to save the money, but somehow each month it seems to going on essentials.

I had to redo my will twice craftyone. I think I told you my estranged 40 year old stepson suddenly appeared in our lives, briefly as it now transpires as he's not made contact for a year, Steve and I had mirror wills. After the funeral and the ashes ceremony he sent an email saying 'can I have sight of my Dad's will'. I was furious and scared at the same time - he'd met his Dad at the age of 21, nineteen years previously, and told Steve he couldn't see him again as his loyalties 'lay with his mother'. It broke Steve and I only met him for the first time the night before the funeral. Months later in Christmas 2017, I arranged for all of us to go to Thailand. Somehow I found out that if we all died together, my DAD would get everything. He's been mean all his life and has never helped me in my life financially, I certainly would not want him to have it. He thinks only of himself - I was disgusted to find out from my aunt that he would not pay a removal company during his recent move, and my estranged brother, with arrythmia like Steve, did it. My Dad is now 87, sadly neither of my parents ever got up here to see the house.

Off to peddle my big box of books at Barter Books, hopefully they'll take some of them, have to walk a long way as parking is difficult around there and they are sooo heavy.

yes mosaics, they come crawling out of the woodwork

I am just about to redistribute my sipp wishes, it can be inherited. I have decided to change the percentages so that the grandchildren get more. My thinking is that my son, who is wonderful, has a female partner and no children. Now everything in the will is in trust for grandchildren if the parent the one who is my child dies, it is in trust to age 25 but the sipp is different and my thinking is that my son would leave his inherited sipp holdings to his partner, not right as the dgc are the ones who should benefit, being directly in line. Sigh, it is all very complicated

Franbern glad you had good news about your prognosis. Nothing is set until the contracts are exchanged and then you can relax for a second knowing no one can back out. Then the mad dash to finalise packing etc.

My daughter finally heard more from Pickfords we have a meeting with them on Thursday. Hopefully we will have a positive out come but I'm not holding my breath.

Had a nice time at my craft group. But I got locked in the loo luckily one of members was there and pushed the door from the outside. Note to self don't go into that loo next week.

We did our first will when we got married and have always keep it up to date. Mine is simple everything is 50 50 between the children but in the event they predecease me it goes to their children.

Back home again with my box of books - too foggy inland and I was scared to continue, the route is through fields and I learnt my lesson last time we had heavy fog. Ended up in the dog friendly cafe having cake and coffee instead! Off upstairs now to pack my summer clothes!

Franbern I am delighted at the good outcome for you and your health. Edwards has a fantastic local reputation, they are the ones I would have booked if I had not had an archway
westonandedwards.co.uk/

and these people, excellent in all ways, careful, efficient and very kind. From Taunton
www.somersetmanwithavan.co.uk/

re the missing box, I could have left it in the old shed

EA for the bungalow has just phoned, seeing it at 11 am. My best friend in London thinks I am silly to think of staying here, but I am dithering between the devil you know. I still don't feel fully alive, life is still so sad for me, I do find it hard getting through each day. She's moving with her partner to Elham in Kent if she manages to find a buyer, I don't think I want to go there, I'm scared of that very high bridge - is it at Thanet? Steve went to his aunt's funeral and said he barely made it over it. I'll go and look and see what I feel. Walking to the beach every day would be marvellous.

Have a good day everyone, misty and odd here, the swallows have gone and none of the birds are singing. I wonder if it's because they are worried they can't see predators in the fog.

I've got a lot of mental adjustment to do for my 'downsizing'.

The bungalow was absolutely beautiful, but not for me as it's open plan, the kitchen and the living space across the back facing the sea views with bi fold doors ceiling to floor. No fire as it has underfloor heating.

I know I should make an offer, but I just can't imagine living in one space. Plus the male neigbour has access via the end of the garden, as he's in the middle bungalow. I've been spoilt with space and solitude here and must adjust my mindset. The bungalow is in a really popular holiday village, with pubs and cafes, plus an active community. There's a village shop, bus stop within walking distance, and of course, the beach. Railway station is a mile walk away. Sounds perfect on paper.

The more you see, the more it will help you to differentiate.

The minimum I wanted downstairs was a kitchen I could eat in and separate living room. Bifold modern doors would be too much for me, I could imagine them being quite chilly in winter. I have underfloor heating downstairs and also a back-up fire. It takes ages for ufh to get up to temperature and sometimes in winter you just want that bit of a heat boost. What was the epc value mosaics?

I didn't ask that craftyone, the listing goes live tomorrow so I'll have a look. The roof is covered in solar panels, I didn't look to see if they had pigeons roosting under them. As my house is so old I didn't have one here, probably zero!

You don`t need one for a listed house, just for a normal dwelling. They should put the epc on the RM advert but sometimes missit out if it is very low. A low epc=lots of money to keep warm

pv systems can either be fully owned by the house owner or owned by someone else who gets the income, also called rent a roof. They are not trouble free and would need a new controller from time to time, maybe costing £900. I don`t have them now and am glad. We had them for 9 years, the last house was built with them on. I swear there was always a background buzz in that house, like tinnitus, have not had that buzz since I came here

Thank you craftyone, I'll definitely check on the next property I view. I feel better about it now, it wasn't right for me, and it was going to mean going into my 'old age care' funds to buy it. I thought it would be worth it if it was the right place. It was listed at £400K but the viewing agent said she thought it could achieve £450K. The heating costs for underfloor are a mystery to me, I might do some research on it in case it comes up at another property. I doubt it will be cheap!

Glad to hear you are on the up Franbern and can now concentrate totally on your move. You might actually be luckier than some of us with your removal company because the busy period is now passed and they will be more ready to accommodate any changes to your date. Your daughter has a good idea to keep a couple of others on the go just incase.
mw you are right to go and look at different properties. As craftyone said it helps you to know what you want or more importantly what you don't want. Good luck.

My heating engineer lst week said that he installed UFH in his self-build home, he is a young man and sold everything they owned to build this house, he has a small child. They did an experiment at his house and he said it was much cheaper to have the UFH on at a temperature of 18 24/7 with a manual boost when it needed to be warmer. UFH is nice but I would not have it without another source just in case . Last house was only electric, luckily no long power cuts there. I have gas ch now, UFH downstairs and rads upstairs, there are 5 digitally controlled thermostats, one in each area. They are not easy to fathom

Ellianne, it was your horrible experience with removal companies, that keeps coming to mind and started me having some really bad dreams. I have now had a very good quotation from a company in weston super mare (0ne that has been recommended to me by a couple of people on here), They are now likely to be either my first or second choice. Need to spend sometime perusing with care their estimate. Definitely cheaper than any of the companies around London/Essex.
I have two others to think about - both rather pricey. Amazing the difference between companies for the same job!! One of those is Pickfords - but so many bad reports on them I am not all that keen.
I am still spending a little time each day trying to be really strict in getting rid of 'things' and clothes. BHF is just opening one of their furniture shops less than a mile away, so will go in there to discuss with them the furniture items I will wish for them to take (IF) the sale goes ahead. One of those items is am armchair, but as it has no fire thingie attached, do not think they will take it. Also need to know if they will take mattress with double divan and single bed. However, these items can only go IF SALE IS DEFINITELY going ahead, otherwise I will not wish to get rid of them.
As I have always been known as a bit of a control freak, I am finding this NOT KNOWING extremely difficult as I really like to have everything planned out well in advance/
At the moment my house is full of flowers, sent to me as Get Well pressies, They are lovely. Two large 'Goldfish' vases full on the kerb of my fireplace (Gas). Will not have this if I move - wonder where vases of flowers will go then?

You don't need to get too upset about the moving process Franbern because everything will eventually fall into place. In the big picture of things it is just another annoying issue caused by the tight exchange and completion dates in this day and age. I can assure you and others that the important thing is getting into your forever home and making new plans.
I was devastated that Pickfords let us down at the last minute, but maybe we were just unlucky. If you really want them to move you I suggest you make sure both the assessor who came out to see you and the person at the head office who does the bookings are singing from the SAME hymn sheet and not telling different stories.
I hope your meeting with Pickfords goes well Whiff, I shall be interested to hear what they offer you in the way of compensation. Fingers crossed.
We're not getting very far at the moment with our complaint about irreplaceable items. I think they're just hoping we will give up.

It's impossible to find the receipt for an item we bought abroad over ten years ago.

Franbern don't go near Pickfords. Had my things delivered 22nd August after many phone calls and e-mails they are coming tomorrow hopefully to give me answers and discuss my claim. I took out all the insurances so it shouldn't be this hard to get compensation for loss and breakage plus how I was treated.
Charities are very picky what they will take furniture wise. They won't take upholstered things without a fire retardant label, nor anything with glass unless it is safety, they also don't want anything to heavy or dark coloured. Forget electrical goods unless it has a safety certificate. They only place that would take my furniture was community transport which is a charity. Don't know if it is country wide . If you have blankets or duvets you don't want human charities won't take them but animal ones will.
It was not being in control of what was happening used to drive me mad. Hang in there it will be all worth it when you are in your new home.
Glad you are feeling better.

Mosaicwarts you will know which property is right for you when you find it. The more you see the better idea you have of what you do and don't want. You have mention your money worries can I just ask why are you looking at a property that is that much. Surely you only need a small home 2 beds at the most. Sorry if I have over stepped the mark. I would never have looked at bungalows but being so seriously ill 2 yrs ago brought it home to me I didn't want stairs and only needed 2 bedrooms and small garden. Being close to bus stops was a must. Only takes 10-15 mins on the bus to get to the shops. My drs is on a direct bus route from where I live.
It is hard moving not just financially but emotionally. I had lived in my old house for 34 yrs and in the area since 1980. We only moved 2 roads away from our first home. But since I've been here I don't miss my old home or my old life. My husband is always with me and I still talk to him everyday it gives me comfort . Sounds strange but it helps me get through everyday without him.

Craftyone any news about your situation with that developer?

Ellianne how are you getting on?

The house is coming along well thanks Whiff. We were so lucky to enjoy such good weather at the start. Now it is positively autumnal but we still manage to have a brisk walk to the seafront most days!

Franbern - My experience was that the constant waiting for an exchange date to be confirmed was very stressful. Every week for around six weeks I was told we will exchange in a few days so I phoned the removal firm to check the date was okay. Then there was some other issue in the chain and it changed again, so back to the removal firm again. I continued with tidying and clearing as much as possible every day.
The last few days were quite easy as I had booked the removal people to pack and the stress of not knowing if or when I would move was over.

wise words on here. If I did not have all my crafts and hobbies, I would easily manage with 2 decent sized bedrooms, I have 4, they call it 4 but in reality one is the size of a small study and 2 are singles now that they have fitted cupboards on just one wall. I did need somewhere to sleep visiting grandchildren and anyone from far away, so probably 3 would have been more practical than 2

Mosaics, I should think you are quite sad at the fact that you would be better in a much smaller house, it is a reminder to us that we are getting older and there is no turning back. At this stage, it is so wise to have that practical hat on, just like whiff says. I too do not miss my other house, not at all, it let me go

Future bills will be important, being warm and cosy, feeling safe and being close enough to buses and shops and places to walk. A cheerful place is good with people who bother to say good morning. I expect you would need a garage for storage and then there is downstairs and I am liking my 2 main compartments. Going into my living room is like going phew, I can sit down now

Whiff it isn`t my developer, he is the goodie. It is the prospective development on the other side of the wall. I have stopped worrying, I was like a demon in getting letters and e mails out, I finally had a response today, they are forwarding my communication to building control. I can`t help thinking that brown envelopes are still used but that is me being cynical. I managed to get a good party wall surveyor to represent me and my neighbour and hand delivered the signed served notice back to the person who delivered it. We did not accept and we are starting a dispute, no cost to us. So now I can sit back, cannot do any more

Mosaic - Elham is lovely and some miles from the coast at Folkestone. The high bridge is to Sheppey rather than Thanet and quite a distance from Elham.

I hope your meeting goes well today Whiff

I'm terribly embarrassed to say I repeated the bereavement information the EA relayed to me to a local person who has been kind to me during my 'sale', and it's not true - the EA has obviously got confused with another seller. So dreadful! Could I have misinterpreted 'she is no longer with us'? I don't think so - unless she meant their dog? I'm keeping my lips tightly closed in future. Whiff, the property was a small two bedroom bungalow, just an expensive area because it's so near to the beach.

No news at all from the EA.

Car brakes are OK, it was the ABS kicking in, it hasn't for years since I went into a skid and I didn't recognise it.

Off to the beach with my daughter and doggo, I hope everyone has a good day.