Neighbours making life hellish.

Although I can understand why people have suggested you sell up, I would hate to let those awful neighbours win by driving me out of my property.

This is particularly true if you had to sell below market value, although if you went down the auction route, you may be lucky and get a good price.

I don't know where your second home is, but there are some areas in the country notorious for being hostile to people with holiday/second homes aren't there?

Wales of course springs to mind.

1) Don't return like for like.
2) Keep a careful factual note of each & every incident.
3) Make it clear to the police that what you are suffering contravenes the Harassment Act 1997.
4) Hope that the constable that visits has had first hand experience of what you are suffering.
Ours had - single visit - no more trouble. Best of luck!

Devils Dumplings what a nightmare situation. Your neighbours sound nasty and totally bonkers. You sound nice and have tried to be good neighbours only for it to be seen as a sign of weakness. My first reaction was 'theres something more going on here' by which I mean jealousy or a very real attempt to drive down the value of your property for the benefit of themselves or a relative. Yes, the previous vendors should have declared the problem it's a legal requirement. However, should have doesn't always happen as we know to our cost. Our vendors failed to declare the arson attempt, windscreen breaking, missile throwing!!! In fact in answer to my direct question about the nearby small park they declared never a hint of bother!! It was a neighbour who told us the details 2 years after we moved in. We had to get our local pcso involved and he was great as he had local knowledge and I can now sleep at night, we didn't want an expensive legal battle. But it did get me down very badly. I don't think any more reasoning from yourselves will help. You must feel stuck & cheated. Are there any locals e.g. local newsagents,grocers etc who can throw any light on their behaviour, are they known to police for anti social behaviour, can you check back issues of local paper. Are they dead set against 'incomers'. I agree with others that recommend telling your tradesmen that they're " plain bonkers & well known for it in these parts". Keep making the records, time, date, duration, who etc, whether you spoke & what was said. Try and get recordings of photo evidence, if it's photo make sure your date/time function is on. Get advice, assertive and Wiley, sooner or later they will do something that requires a little knock & some plain speaking from the boys in blue. It's like a game to them - bide your time but gather info & evidence but don't let this ruin your lives. It's feeling so impotent that wears you out. Wishing you all very best.

You could prevent them seeing anything when they stand staring through your windows by either putting up net curtains or the adhesive plastic that you can see out through, but blocks the view for anyone outside.

I admit it sounds a little extreme, but it might help your peace of mind knowing that these people cannot see anything.

The fact that they have found out your other address and send letters you have to sign for, might just constitute stalking or harassment, so run that past your solicitor.

The town council must have some guidelines regarding what kind of fences you may put up. If you stick to them, you can just ignore remarks from neighbours about the fences not looking nice.

In your place I would mention to tradesmen when you employ them, that these neighbours are nosy and will be along interrupting their work and fishing for information. Ask them to refrain from giving any information about the work they are currently doing for you.

I would ignore them as much as possible and try to get to know some of the nicer neighbours. Then perhaps it will be easier to laugh about these very odd people. It is not worth allowing other peoples' strange behaviour to affect your sleep and why should you sell a house you like and have spent money on because of them?

I know it can be very difficult to ignore this sort of thing, but it is the best thing to do.

You are being targeted and harassed. By keeping a log of all the events, photographic evidence too eg snaps of the faces staring in the window etc. you will need to go to a solicitor and back to the police to have any action taken against them. Easy to say but be strong, be brave, don't let them win.

I know it’s horrible to have to give in to the bullies but sounds like an awful place to live. A lesser person would be living on tranquillisers and who could blame them. What wicked people.

What a terrible situation for you. I’d advise selling this property as quickly as you can. In the meantime put up net curtains, or blinds, or shutters at the windows, and when you see them outside, say hello and move on quickly. Sorry I can’t be more helpful.

Thank you so much for your supportive replies. You’ll never know how much they have helped in ‘settling’ me. I’ve been stuck on high alert for months. I can’t believe how rife hellish neighbours are! Sympathy to all you posters who have suffered or still suffering. I know how intolerable it can be. We are still going on the market to sell or auction (thank you to those who suggested auction as we didn’t think of that option).

Our solicitor is now getting bombarded with emails from 3 households instructing him to inform us we can’t do xyz. Totally bonkers behaviour. They have totally lost touch with reality and they genuinely think if they don’t want to see fences then we aren’t allowed to erect them. Fence is picket style, very Cottage like. Not solid, not high, just a simple design. Nothing intrusive.

Overall I’m feeling more settled but still having episodes of rising panic. We’d better buckle up and get strapped in as it’s going to be long bumpy road.

Thank you again to all the posters who’ve replied, it’s really helped.

We too have neighbours from hell who moved in 3 years ago, they have a guard dog which barks at anything that moves but when we complained they pretended that the dog was a pet and didn't bark other than if someone called. They then built a wall outside their property and outside their boundary and actually built over our existing gatepost and broke our coving stone in half. We called the Police who were useless and said we would need to see a Solicitorwe were claiming they hade committed criminal damage. And so it has gone on, what we do now is when we are outside in our garden and the dog starts to bark we sing and it must be really bad as they take their dog in and the barking stops LOL so we have solved one problem. aqs we are pensioners we don't have the money to take them to court over what they have done with their wall. We wrote to planning and apparently they had not applied for planning permission and planning are looking into the matter and have not given them retrospective planning permission yet so we will have to wait and see.

Lots of good suggestions here....My thoughts when I read your post:

Find a good, aggressive solicitor and no more letters unless it's to let them know that they are being sued for harassment and intimidation (and vandalism if you have proof).

Install several, well placed, hidden cameras around your property so that in your absence you can record their mischief.

If you can't or won't sell, consider renting to a very noisy family of musicians with a very large dog!
This last one was a joke, but you get the gist.

Re cameras, you can't put up hidden cameras as it's illegal and you have to display a 'CCTV camera in operation' notice.

As someone said, never do anything back to them. Tit for tat only escalates the situation and makes things worse. Never show any reaction at all to anything they do and don't speak to them. Avoid them except to video or take photos of them looking in your window or doing anything antisocial. Put up net curtains, the window film is fantastic but expensive if you're selling.

If you really feel that strong legal threats or going to court will work then fine, otherwise sell up and get the hell out of there!

Sell up as soon as possible. Life is too short for this sort of trouble.

I sympathise with you completely. I understand the mental anguish you are going through. Last year the Stalker Act was amended to include Harassment. If you google it you will see examples of successful prosecution. The problem is that the police have to prosecute and they will not. I don't think the ordinary policeman even knows what stalking means. To most it is someone who keeps writing and phoning and following, but it is more than those. What you describe is surely stalking with harassment. Eventually it gets to a stage where the things they do are so unbelievable that the police ignore you. The more you ignore what they are doing, the more bizarre what they do gets. It makes your blood freeze when someone says ''no one will believe you''. One thing you must know: a stalker does not want to lose their victim. (If they kill them, they kill themselves as well.)

It is about control. He knows I have to check my flue has not been covered up; that my rose trees are still standing and many other checks I have to make because of what he has done.

legal advise is what you need....a court order getting them to shut up and not step 200 yards either side of your property...have youy actually asked them why they being so mean.? they must have mental health issues too....maybe you should just do the house up etc and sell anyway...neighbours can be a pain if they lived there a long time.whatever you do ,no violence as this will go against you. my new neighbours downstairs i'm in middle flat.. slamming doors/shouting from teenage boy and music/phone on full blast .afraid i lost it one night and banged on the floor and said for goodness sake shut up and stop slamming doors.all went quiet till 2 nights later...so i went and knocked on their door. told them i over 60 and lived here 32 years and never had any noise like the noise you make.....she said sorry. but the door slamming still goes on. grrrr. i dont want to report them for anti-social behavoiur .but looks like i might have too.you need to get legal advise..

oh and keep a diary of all the goings on....

I would sell up without a second thought even at a loss, they sound weird to me, ridiculous. There’s no way I’d stay with an atmosphere like that. Life is far too short, I’d move back to your other home , it’s great that you have two homes I’d cut my losses and go back to other one where I would have peace

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Yes, life is too short for this harassment. As tempting as it may be to fight fire with fire, in my experience, it only makes matters worse as people like this are literally looking for a fight.

I suggest showering them with love. Take them home baked goodies, etc. And yes, smiling when outside even when you just want to scream. They, honestly, won't know what to do.

I have to admit though at our last house (we were out in the country and the neighbors were some distance from us) we found out from another neighbor that the neighbors directly behind us were spying on us with binoculars (among other strange things). There was only one window they could possibly see through because of trees and shrubs, we decided to be naked and put on amorous 'shows' in front of the window whenever possible. Give them something to talk about! We don't know if it worked, but they did move before we did. We just thought their behavior was sad and funny, we didn't let it bother us. We left them alone to their misery.

One thing I would consider is when they stand outside looking in, walk to the window while naked and pull the shade. It's your house, you can be naked anytime you want! They deserve to see what they see! (The sight of my aging overweight body, may burn their retinas!)

In the long run, selling and moving on may be the best option. Good luck, in whatever you decide!

I feel so bad for you...You get some fight in you and bloody well play them at their own game! Smile sweetly and bang on Metallica! Then when they complain, just say me no speak the English, and start headbanging.

If you have upstairs rooms - throw a saucepan of cold water onto anyone looking into your (presumably) ground floor windows or on your land below. Have it ready in advance. Close window quickly afterwards.

This sounds like it could be described as a hate crime towards older people. There are laws about that now and the police should take your problem seriously. If these nasty folk find themselves on the wrong side of the law they would probably have to, as my daughter puts it, wind their necks in and behave.

I do hope this stops soon. Sounds awful.

What an awful experience. You certainly had good advice here. I would invite friends and family to stay with you as much as possible. All I can say is that these people are sad and unhappy. Hope you manage to sell soon.

Oh, and put the fence up!

Can you contact the people you bought off of? You may find they had the same problems and didn’t disclose....that would be actionable.... I would ask for a meeting, with both neighbours and your solicitor. Make it clear if there is any further harassment (you need a record of everything they have done) you will take them to court, bring in the local paper...and generally cause them much grief. Show them you are not victim material and will kick their butts from here to Kingdom come if they don’t back off.

What a dreadful situation to be in! Considering the behaviour of these people it is nothing short of bullying and harassment plus anti-social behaviour; have you contacted the local Council? I realise that the properties are privately owned but that does not put anyone above the law.

I too have an obnoxious individual living near me; he goes out of his way to discover everyone else's business but did nothing when he realised an elderly neighbour was in distress, he turned the other cheek and left her to die! I simply cannot forgive him.

Most local councils have an advocacy service ffor neighbour disputes. You could try them as a last resort? If not, rent the house out to some students, that will show the neighbours what for!