Neighbours making life hellish.

So sorry to hear that things are not going so well. I fully understand the impact this is having on you. Do you have any family or friends that could stay with you for a while? I would also not give up with the CCTV, or the police come to that. Also could you not record evidence on your phones? Be strong, try not to let them intimidate you.

Devilsdumpling, I am amazed at the attitude you say the police have had. They are meant to be non judgemental and investigate from a neutral standpoint. If you do not feel they have been neutral, you are entitled to make a complaint. However, that may bring you more stress, which, from what you say, I do not think you are needing right now. Personally, is this house really worth what it is putting you through right now? Only my opinion, but cut your losses and get the hell out of dodge. I really don't know what is wrong with people nowadays. Everyone seems more aggressive and more in folks business. I believe in the old adage 'good fences make good neighbours'. I am polite to mine but keep them at arms length, I dont get involved with ANY neighbours. That is after having a very bad experience once. My neighbours know Im there if needed. I don't get involved with them personally. I'm so sorry that all this has so distressed you. Only my opinion but leave the place before this all takes a real toll on your mental and physical health. No house is worth this amount of grief. Take care.

Yes that is our intention. Thank you again heavensjoy.

Not at all, it is really obvious how upset you are. Men do seem more able to ‘put up with stuff’ don’t they?

I myself try and go by the saying that ‘nothing lasts forever’ but that won’t help you much at this moment, will it? Your neighbours clearly are very unpleasant people. You are not. You and your husband deserve more. Try and get rid of the house.x

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Heavensjoy thank you for your kind reply. I’ve been awake since 3:00am. The tears just won’t stop. Feel vulnerable. My lovely oh is being more pragmatic and much less emotional about it all. I do so admire his strength. I already have a firm of ptsd and I feel this is why I’m not dealing with it as well.

Thank you again.

I just had to respond to you, after your very sad message. My heart goes out to you. It sounds as though you have been let down by so many people (including the authorities, who are supposed to protect us!!).

Easier said than done I know, but you need to get out of the property, to protect your own health and well being.

I can only send my heartfelt good wishes, and pray that the situation alters soon for you. Please pm me if you need to.

An update. Sadly not an happy conclusion and we are devastated and so very upset at the state of affairs.

We continued reporting to the police. They kept recommending mediation. That failed in the initial stages as the perpetrators were simultaneously telling the mediators they’d be happy to discuss current status quo whilst subjecting us to an increased level of intimidation and harassment. For example one day as we passed she put herself right up to my face screaming I was a liar and she’d never belief anything I said (further incidents of being followed and stared at through windows etc) They have back door sabotaged the process whilst acting all virtuous to the mediators.

After having spoke to the council and our solicitor we reported these incidents to the police as they strongly advised to. The police arranged to visit at home. Two police came but said they were the wrong ones and were sending others (who dealt with previous reports) Didn’t show but contacted us to go to the station. Here they took us into an interview room and recorded everything. I felt like we were being treated like the perpetrators and the neighbours the victims. In short they say our experiences don’t meet the threshold for harassment/intimidation due to lack of evidence

Now here’s the rub. The internal camera we put up that looks through our own window over our back (as recommended previously by police, council and our solicitor) has been reported by the neighbours as causing them harassment. The area is immediately outside our own property, looking on our property but other neighbours have right of access across it iyswim) If we fail to remove it we are at risk of committing a criminal offence. Case closed nfa.

I can’t stop crying. To the police I said the due to the harassment and intimidation I didn’t ever want to return to that property. His stern reply was ‘well no one is making you’. It feels the tables have been unfairly turned and we are left feeling vulnerable and isolated with no protection. Where as the neighbours have been given the green light to carry on. All this has really taken me to a dark place, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again.

Other people - who needs them?!

I agree with Framilode . The previous owners must have known what those neighbpours were like because you are not alone in being harrasssed. You have legal redress there.

My elderly next door neighbour became increasingly bizarre in allmost the same way you describe & I decided to ignore her although it was distressing. She would interfere with everyone she could stop coming into my drive, asking them their business ( I have a chronic illness) and even sending some friends away by saying I was too ill to see them!

Because I ignored her she became much worse, killing off all the trees/shrubs, trees in my ajoining part of the back garden ( apparently pouring diesel over the wall) Then my brand new car was horrendously scratched overnight. That was witnessed by another neighbour going to work early.
I called the police, they couldn't do anything but warn her. A year later she started making strange noises whenever I or visitors left my house. She spends a lot of time in her front garden. I had cameras put up, she performed for them!

Then I heard she had been diagnosed with dementia years ago and her "visitors" were carers whom she fought with and sent away. Her family were sent away. Nowadays she has help from brave family who never come alone and a couple of neighbours who have known her for 50years.

I was devastated when I heard about her diagnosis, I've had police out three times because she was clearly targetting me and trying to stop strangers coming to my house and no one knew of her diagnosis.
I try to be friendly now, she is 92 and very tiny. She waves!

Maybe those neighbours are ill?

OMG! That's terrible. I hope you will find some solution. Thanks for sharing with us.

I have such sympathy with you, I really do. It is not an easy one to solve.
We moved into a house 10 years ago now, still there, and even knew the neighbours both sides. But so many people asked us if we were sure about moving next door to S. I thought I could handle her. Known for being argumentative with all and sundry but her mild husband was a friend of my husband. I had recently had a stroke I was recovering from and was advised to avoid stress. One day I was putting 4 small plants in pots on the garage roof to get some sun and she came outside and stood below me shouting at the top of her voice that I wasn't allowed to put anything on the garage roof as it was dangerous ( a structural engineer friend later told us that the garage had been built to a standard that you could build on it!). And while she was at it she added I had been gossiping about her husband telling everyone he was I'll( he had incurable cancer which I had mentioned to nobody...in fact the gossip turned out to be our other neighbours!!). Anyway she was so loud and so nasty I could feel my heart beating too fast and she only shut up when my husband came out and told her to be quiet.
He later went round to their house when her husband was in to try and smooth things over. 10 years later her husband is no longer with us and we get by by ignoring each other and sadly some of my friends will not visit in case they bump into her.
So no real resolution but as I said you have my sympathy.

Of course you don't deserve to be bullied! I agree with most people's advice to wrop it up and get out.

this resonates with me;
"this was our happy place where we have visited for over 30 years. Now we never ever want to step a foot there again."
My own parents retired to a "happy place" where they were accepted as local as they had gone there for holidays all their lives, and their son went there to work as a teacher in the little school.They would have been spiritually devastated if they had been bullied. But the local people would not have tolerated that.

Sounds awful. Wrap the work up and get out. Sounds like a preview of Neighbors from Hell.
I would also go speak to local police and get those cameras back up.
Take care.

2nd home or not Alexa we do not, nor does anyone else ever deserve to be treated the way we have. It’s torturous. Perhaps this isn’t the thread for you.

Alexa the people making our life hell are also ‘outsiders’ who have other homes in their ‘home’ towns. We had intended to retire there by first being 50/50 whilst doing it up, then selling our main residence so we only have one house.

This opportunity was born out of tragedy. We lost 80% of our direct families suddenly and without warning. We’ve had a few years of intense grieving ... this was our happy place where we have visited for over 30 years. Now we never ever want to step a foot there again.

DevilsDumplings, Is this second home in a rural village where second homes owners are pushing up property values so that local people cannot afford them?

There is a lot of understandable resentment among locals about this sort of 'second home'.

See if you can apply to the programme 'Neighbours From Hell'!

I do hope your problems get sorted. It is absolutely awful.

If you do decide to sell - do so but without a signboard being put up outside the house. You don't want your nosey neighbours to know.

Good luck!

Sending hugs. To be intimindated like this is just appalling. Rent your house out using an agent. Tenants have more rights than owners. Should the neighbors start harassing them the council and agent can tackle the issue.
Also you will keep house value. Please do not expose yourself to these people anymore. The residents are completely disgraceful. Good luck.

This is surely harassment, particularly is they found your contact details at your other home. The police should be involved.

However, I don’t know why you put up with this treatment. Did the previous owners have issues that weren’t disclosed when you bought the property? If so, you have a legal case against them.

Hetty58 says it all.

Please let us know the outcome.

Be careful. I would cut losses and move. We have a civil case ongoing and solicitor is over £225 an hour plus vat, then barrister and court fees. Traveling to court and back was over £400 , court running late by 1 hour £225 the hearing was less than an hour. Don't go there our life savings have gone. Good luck. Peace of mind is worth everything

The most important thing (by far) is your own health and peace of mind. Hopefully, the place will sell quickly at auction and you can put it all in the past and move on.

I do sympathise with this horrible situation you find yourselves in. On a different level, but still very stressful I remember being in my early twenties and quite quiet and shy when we bought our first home, a semi detached house on a residential road.
Upon exchange we went for a meal with the seller who dropped into the conversation that whilst the husband next door was ok, his wife was a nightmare. Wife arrived round about a month after we had moved in and complained that my husband left for work (commuting to London) far too early, I was was never to use my hairdryer in either of the bedrooms on the party wall or hoover before mid morning, every visitor was monitored and God help us if the rear of a car was an inch over the imaginary line she drew in the road outside her house, anytime we were in the garden she was watching from an upstairs window, the list went on and on.
I found myself scuttling nervously in and out of the house and creeping about when inside.
It was all SO stressful. When we moved I prayed a normal noisy family with dogs (she hated animals) would move in a not be intimidated by her as we were.
Hope it all works out for you.

There is more than one way to skin a cat, but I can't tell you here.