Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Mosaciwarts Craftyone is right. This buyer is stringing you along. Set your mind for the auction. By selling at auction you will get a buyer and a definite time line. You badly need piece of mind. If you haven't already set the wheels in motion to go to auction do it very soon. You don't need the worry of a large house and it's problems.
Moving to the rental is going to like a holiday for you. You will be cosy and warm. You will then realise how easy life will be for you in a smaller home. Also you will have time to have a look around for your permanent new home. Just wish I could help you more.

Morning all, horrible grey rainy morning here but thankfully no wind yet.

I hope to get the damp/timber report in the post today. The buyer will then be told if he can get the mortgage or not, and I'll know if he can proceed. I agree that he is flaky, he either wants to make the biggest profit possible, or he genuinely doesn't have the money.

I've been looking at auctions since you gave me the idea, it is so useful RightMove have an auction filter, there are many very nice looking houses on the market up here. The auctioneer I spoke to, who rang me earlier in the year, charges 2.5%, and he has six estate agents. I haven't spoken to the other one yet, but on the website they do not charge a fee, the buyer pays, and they have fifty estate agents as well as being members of the RICS. As I made a mistake with my first estate agent I am nervous of making the wrong decision again, I'm going to do a comparison chart. I did find a railway station sold at auction, but south of me, and the auction house doesn't cover this area - was listed for £250, made £395. It is encouraging isn't it.

Moving out day for my daughter today, she leaves on the 3 pm train. She's back on Monday with her boyfriend to do more packing, my son is coming over to take them to her new house with her possessions. All change, as the old stationmaster would have said!

I've just had the report through - £3,300, and they recommend their damp proof course, which we can't have here, it has to be a specialist membrane. I am curious as to whether he is going to ask me to do it, in which case, it's goodbye!

I so agree with Crafty, MW, I know it's a gamble going to auction but I am so P Off with buyer, I really don't trust him not to string you along and mess you about. Yes, tell him if he still wants it to going along and bid.

I know it's scary and all happening at once after months of not much happening at all, with your daughter moving out as well, but please stay strong and don't let this awful man push you around - take back control - YOU CAN DO THIS

Mosaicwarts For what it's worth I agree with the others. I don't trust this buyer, I have seen this too many times. I seem to remember that you said when he first put in his offer that he needed a high loan to value ratio. If that is the case the Building Society may be very picky. People in those positions really need to buy a house that doesn't need much doing, not a large and beautiful house that needs some renovation.

Go for the auction option. Like someone else said if he has his ducks in a row he can bid then. Call his bluff.

Ooooh, I like that, Framilode - call his bluff!! The grans have spoken - be empowered MW - we have lived hundreds of years between us, with all that wisdom!

I’ve only posted now and again but I do keep up with all your stories, especially mosaicwarts because I have been in a similar position in the past. My buyers asked for a further reduction on the day of exchange.

I suppose I just want to weigh in and say Go to auction with a reserve the same as he has offered. If he really wants it he will close the deal before the auction with a pre-auction bid.

Then he is committed and can’t pull out or ask for a further reduction.

Great idea Eglantine. That would cover all bases and call the buyers bluff.

I've just spoken to the 'free' auction house. It's only free if I make the buyer pay my commission, which would amount to them having to pay another huge sum on top of the price they pay for the house. It won't be attractive unless someone has money to burn. I'd still have about £1K of legal fees.

The second option they offer is that I pay an entry fee of £780 initially. When the house is sold the buyer pays a 10% deposit, and my 'fee' of 3% of the sale price is taken out of it. Legal fees apply to both methods.

Not so good when you look very closely at a bargain!

The EA have now forwarded my report, I wonder how long I'l have to wait to hear. I'm going to give him a week, then

Did you think I'd fallen off my chair ... you'd be right, I tried to stroke the cat and overbalanced! I'm going to give the buyer a week, then take stock.

Be surprised if you have only 1k of legal fees. Is that what your Solicitor has quoted to you?
Selling and buying property is surprisingly expensive business. Does appear as if auction is a lot more expensive than selling through a normal EA. This last one is quoting 3%, (assume that your up-front payment of £780 would be deducted from that amount). Did you not say the previous one quoted 2 1/2%?
It does appear, to me, that your buyer is still hoping to be able to go ahead. Obviously, the more queries he makes, etc. the more it is costing him in terms of time and costs. So, do not think he is totally messing you around, just trying to get all his ducks in a row, etc. Best to keep him in mind. If you do decide to go to auction, you should inform him probably a good couple of weeks before, saying what you are doing and what your reserve price would be (at least the same amount as his accepted offer. Then he will have time to consider if he is willing to start signing papers and stop you going to auction, or wha

£1K legal fees inc VAT was quoted by this auctioneer, if I use their solicitor Franbern. I'm not sure what my own solicitor will/would charge - poor man, his Mum had a heart attack over Christmas. He goes away every Christmas and she recovered, was still in hospital, and she encouraged him to go as his sister would be here - she died as they landed Losing your mother is such a huge life event, isn't it. I've just left a bottle of their favourite vodka and a card on their step - no idea why this particular brand is so expensive, price made my eyes water, but he's been very good to us during our twenty years of 'neighbours'. He helped me when my Mum died too, in 2001, I feel he is an honourable gentleman.

I had to rush off after writing, my daughter came downstairs about an hour before catching the train, and said she'd forgotten to ask me if we had any 'spare' mattress covers! Dashed in and out of Sainsbury's at high speed, and bought a 'peachy' one' - I got caught at my crossing for THREE trains, they obviously knew I was in a hurry.

I didn't wait with her on the platform as usual today as my dog gets very upset, she is back for a short time on Monday, then she's gone forever. I let the council tax people know so I could get my single person allowance again, and they asked for her forwarding address, 'for their records'. They are checking on me, how very dare they!

Thank you all for your support about the buyer, I wish I had done the viewing and knew what he was like. From his negotiating manner and the information I've been relayed, I do suspect he could pull a fast one at a crucial time.

Oh MW - your daughter is not going forever. She is spreading her wings, as she should at her age. From what I understand she lived abroad for a good time, so you are quite used to her not living with you.
And, this is such an excellent time for it to happen, just when you are about to move into a smaller property. Living by yourself can be so exciting and you can still visit her and she, you.
Not sure why you had to go to buy a mattress cover for her, she is working and this is hardly an essential household item. Fine if you had, as she asked, spare one, but not to actually go to purchase one. Or, is this your house warming pressie to her?
A few years ago I bought a slow cooker, but never really manged to get on with it. During my clearing out process I gave it to my eldest daughter. She makes the most wonderful meals with it,and it inspired me to try again. Purchased a small (1.5litres) on in Argos and, yesterday cooked some stewing steak in it, with vdeg. Added in herbie dumplings an hour before the finish, and must say, made myself a scrummy meal, with a second amount in a dish in my fridge ready for this evening. So no cooking for me tonight!!!

Evening Franbern, thanks for your kind words, I am pleased for her not having to endure the 4 hours of travelling, it'll just be hard at first now I've got used to her being here.

Does feel as though it might snow here tonight, absolutely freezing. Was it you who said you are curious about my complaining about being cold, or Framilode? I'm single glazed sash windows, some of the glass panes are cracked, and the house has a six foot cellar running the full length of the house as it was raised to reach the railway line. We stripped all the floors and put down rugs, not realising how very draughty it would be. The Victorians loved their airbricks didn't they! One of my chilblains is purple, I'm a bit worried about it but having a 'well woman' thing on Monday.

The mattress cover was specified in the tenancy agreement, I had bought her one for Uni but we left it behind as it was too far gone. I have got a king sized one here, but her bed there is a double.

I can smell your lovely stew! A great invention, I started using one in the late 80's, loved coming home to that lovely smell of dinner after hours of strap hanging on the tube. I haven't got anything for dinner yet, not sure what to have, don't feel like cooking but I will.

A very nice but frail man turned up to buy my table today, I was worried about him on the stairs and accompanied him and his companion/carer? down the stairs. I offered him the two chairs for free (my worst ever buy, mid Victorian barley twist with a cane back, like sitting against a loofah) - he didn't want them so I listed them on Facebook. Sold straight away, a lady is coming at 5 pm tomorrow.

Off to raid the freezer, need to empty and sell it in the next fortnight.

Have a nice evening

I am giving up driving relatively long distances on busy roads at night. 45 miles but coming home in the dark was foul, glaring lights and hedges and no road lights, cats eyes that disappeared when oncoming cars appeared. Strings of cars sitting on my tail, room to pass safely at times but no, they were hanging onto my tail lights. I wore my specs with yellow lenses and they certainly helped but it would only take one misjudged hedge or verge to steer into an oncoming car or lorry. That was after 7 hours child sitting.

If I am asked again, I will bring the children back here in daylight and take them home the next day in daylight. I breathed a sigh of relief every time I had 40 or 30 mph restrictions, 60 is crazy when It is pitch black. I admit to using gearing in defensive mode all the way ie 1 or 2 gears below how they should be used in daylight

I have visitors tomorrow, must make scones

Oh craftyone, that's a long way to drive on your own in the dark after a sitting session. If I ever have grandchildren, I'll copy your idea of bringing them home in daylight. On my last scary late night time drive to collect my daughter a hare started across the motorway in front of me. I swerved and missed him I'm pleased to say, but it made me feel very shaky for a few miles and added to my anxiety. I wear those yellow specs too, I think they do help somewhat. I'm glad not to have to drive in the dark again now my daughter has left. Sometimes I'd just be thinking of putting my pj's on and she'd come downstairs and ask to go to the gym - only a ten minute drive away, but in the dark! And I have to wait in the car for her as I'm not a member.

Hope your visitors enjoy your scones, your old neighbours again?

MW, didn't you buy a car for your daughter? I think I would be letting her drive herself here there and everywhere rather than being a chauffeur if I was not confident in driving. Could you not add her to your insurance so you could let her use your car then you could relax and enjoy your evenings tucked up in your pj's!

Craftyone glad you got home in one piece. After reading about people's experience driving I am glad I don't. I know it is convenient to be able too and sometimes wish I did. But with not being able to control my limbs I would be a liability. If we use water bottles as weights tomorrow at sit fit I can't use one in my left hand after last week. Did I say my arm seized and the water bottle flew out of my hand and almost hit my instructor luckily she can move quickly.

Like SueH49 I thought you had brought your daughter a car Mosaicwarts. Bet you are ticking off the days until you you get the keys to the rental.

My son and grandsons came on Friday. They were here for 6 hrs and I loved every minute. My son put up the curtain rail in the living room for me and my daughter is taking me to Dunelm on Friday to get some curtains. Another thing I haven't looked at buying for 20+ yrs. My eldest grandson sat on my lap and after a few minutes fell asleep his brother fell asleep on his dad. It's what I have wanted every since they have been born. I missed a lot of their early baby time. But they are all to young to remember. They love coming here and me to their homes. My life is full and am loving it. As others here I haven't got the one person I want and need in my life but I have got very good substitutes. It gives me comfort that my husband lives on in the children and grandsons. They all carry part of his DNA. I know that sounds strange but it's one of the things that helps me face everyday with hope and a smile.

Like you Craftyone I have visitors today. My brother and sister in law are coming . They came just before Christmas and where only here a hour and half and had to take me to hospital. Just hope today that doesn't happen again. They travel over 100 miles to see me. Once my bedroom is done and I can move in then I can have visitors to stay. Bliss.

SueH49 any luck with the house hunting?

Hope everyone has a good day.

so true about staying strong whiff, I have some small hand weights in a box but forget to use them, they will have to go on show so I remember. We must muscles or they get weak and won`t protect our bones well enough. That is why I like to carry things when I can, rather than wheeling them

So I have recovered from my drive and after the initial panic about what to feed my visitors, I have dough being made in my breadmaker for rolls and will also make nice soup in my soup maker, also scones. I am expecting them around 12 so have enough time

I am definitely keeping my promise to myself about night driving. I will go to an occasional performance at the theatre but that is only 15 minutes away along a 40/30 mph familiar road. That driving last night, it was the whizz kids coming the other way not bothering to dip their main beams and the mist on the roads, almost a fog in patches. Still sends shivers down my back.

At least we will see the sun today, it will be uplifting

Last night was taken by daughter and SiL (and three of my g.children), to a nearby village (Hutton) for Wassailing. Carried out in apple orchard, - such great fun!!! First half outside (they put my scooter into the boot of their car for me) - but had been warned and wrapped up warm - glorious night - cold and crisp, we were treated to performances by Shanty songs singers, children country dancing, Morris dancers and fireworks, Open fire there and lots of marshmallows n sticks being toasted over it! Of course, lots of cider!!!!
Then festivities continued at local Village Hall, with repeat performances and some wonderful community Gaelic dancing. Such fun, normally I am falling asleep by 9.30 in the evening, I was wide awake the whole time, smiling throughout. Had lovely picture taken with Green Man.
The fun and joy of living in Somerset.

Morning all, bright and sunny here but still chilly.

It's lovely to read about your families and friends visiting, my house is like a museum, I never have anyone here. I'm not sure I'll still be here when grandchildren arrive in the future. I think like you Whiff, my husband lives on in my children. My stepson, who I met for the first time at my husband's funeral, looks nothing like him, not even a passing likeness in my eyes.

Tomorrow will be busy with my daughter and boyfriend packing, then my son will be coming in the evening to collect her to take them and her stuff to her new place.

My daughter is still waiting for the car to be ready, he did promise it 'middle of January', I hope he hasn't found something terribly wrong with it.

I went on a house selling website last night and people there were encouraging me to be patient and wait for the 'right' buyer. Do you think I'm being impatient after fifteen months?

Mw - it was me that said about you being cold. Did not realise you had single glazing. Must admit it is now over twenty years since I had that, and did not know it still existed. Think how lovely it will be in rental property - surely that MUST be double glazed at least.
Stripped floors are fine in some houses - preferably those with under floor heating. When I did the through lounge at my old house, I had the top quality Amtico floor put down - much better than stripped flooring, not only warmer but so much easier to clean and maintain. It was like parquet flooring which matched up to the original parquet flooring I discovered under the carpet in the hallway.
In my flat I have a carpet throujghout - it is a good quality, but will need replacing at some time. Cannot face up to the whole upheaval that would involve at present - will probably wait a good year - which gives me time to decide whether to put down a new carpet or have Amtico or Karmdean flooring.
Having lived with hard floors in my living area for so long, I was worried about carpet again - but must admit it is very nice and cosy and I do not have to think about having slippers on. Will see how I feel about it after I have had at least a year in the flat.
The flat is warm, - partly because the public foyers, etc are kept very warm, and my main non-external area are a shared wall with local solicitors who keep their heating on all the time. Fortunately, there are lots of big opening windows, so I feel I will not be too hot in the summer. Even though temperature has dropped (outside), not having to put central heating on at all during daytime, and have never had it on a night - I am still sleeping in my summer cotton short sleeved nighties with just a 4.5 tog duvet on the bed.
Off, this afternoon with daughter and one g.child to see the film Little Women. It is a real treat for me have cinemas within less than ten minutes 'trundling' distance. In London it was always a car or bus ride to get to one.

That night time car journey with the DGC sounds horrible craftyone .
I sometimes volunteer to be the driver but usually regret it. I haven't bought the special glasses yet but keep meaning to, though you don't think they are all that great?.

Wonderful to get the curtains sorted Whiff. I am going to do mine soon too though I will have to get a man in as I don't have a tame DIYer and there are 4 big windows. Our ancient velvet curtains fell to pieces when I washed them , whoops! and we've had nothing at the windows for a year or more. I tried to get shutters made but the price was prohibitive and the metal rails we put up 40 years ago are no longer fit for purpose

I do admire your skill at selling things mosaics. It is a real skill. Have you ever thought about running a shop? I had a vision of you in a little country town, with a shop selling antiques - which could keep open to suit yourself, of course.
You have an excellent eye (I have seen the interior of your house, remember) and it could be an answer to all kinds of future decisions.

Whist looking at houses for sale in the Borders we have come across some lovely places.. You could even live above the shop and have a large garden for the dog and cats out the back.

The centre of Kelso is up for an award as one of the best Town Centres in the UK .
www.itv.com/news/border/2019-08-13/two-of-the-region-s-high-streets-in-the-running-for-national-award/

and as for Galashiels, It's to be home to the Great Tapestry of Scotland next year scotlandstapestry.com/

and locals are desperate to encourage investment in the town centre for all those tourists! I don't work for them BTW

www.itv.com/news/border/2020-01-16/the-borders-town-determined-to-save-their-high-street/

no, not impatient at all but never be a martyr to `what if` they are some of the worst words in the language, what if holds so many people back

I love wassailing franbern, what a lovely atmosphere, its like a mid winter festival, knowing that the trees will sleep a while longer and then wake up

Be utterly careful stepping outside for a few days, it is crazy slippy here except on the pavers my builder used. I imagine there are already people in A&E with broken limbs. You know that big step out the door and wham the foot slips away. I am going to join the ranks of the careful while it is so cold. If I need to go out, I will park my car the night before, in front of my house, just needing a few steps to reach it from my porch. My drive pavers are very slippy

Craftyone - sprinkle some dishwasher salt over your drive paving stones, will help to keep it frost free and not slippy. I do have thingies that go on the soles of my shoes which I used to use when it there was snow on the ground. Grippers type thing. As I am not really able to walk very far they sit in a drawer - perhaps I should transfer them over to the charity box bag...!!!!
Must admit this tree wassailing was totally new for me. I had always associated this just with Christmas .......but it actually makes more sense now. They actually poured a little cider on the tree, to remind it what it was going to produce its fruits for. An Apple orchard that supplies to the main Somerset cider maker!!!
MW......you sound as if you are rather down at present. What is this about not being sure if you will be in that house when your future g.children arrive. Of course, you will not....you will be well established in something far more suitable and cosy.
Fifteen months is not all that long these days. My BiL and SiL had their very expensive house, in a very classy area in London on the market for five years, then they suddenly had two people interested in buying it. I, first started trying to sell my house back in Summer 2015, and it was on and off over the next few years, until the final successful conclusion at the end of last year.
Just stick in there - AND you do actually have a would-be purchaser !!!!. Are you having second thoughts about the auction?
Probably, once you have made your move to somewhere so much smaller and nicer and easier to run, it will confirm your decision to sell once and for all.
You are probably feeling down about the potential of missing your daughter. Yes, you will at first......but with the move coming up to keep you pretty busy.....and then once settled in there, you will realise how good it is that you have encouraged your children to fly the nest and lead their own lives.