Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Franbern, yes thanks for that tip about the salt, I have some in the garage and I may need it wednesday night for driving to my class on thursday. Its chilling down fast right now and I have lit some candles because I don`t want the potch of stove cleaning tomorrow. Very high air pressure today, you may get ear ache or ear pops

Franbern the wassailing sounded fun. Hope you enjoyed the film didn't have to use to may tissues.

Mosaciwarts you have every right to be impatient about selling your house. When I thought I was moving September 2018 even though it fell through I had already mentally let my house go. I was not happy until I moved here. As both my children said you have to view it as your home not the family home. They have their own homes. You have to view your home when you buy it as yours not theirs . It's hard altering a view point. But like many here we have had to do that through widowhood or divorce.

Had a wonderful time with my brother and sister in law. My brother had seconds of cacciatore and apple cake. They brought my damson tree it's all in bud. I had left it at their house when I moved. Have to decided where to plant it.

Craftyone hope you had a good time with your visitors. My son gave me large tub of salt a month ago. Looks like I will be needing it soon.

I'm terrified of falling as I have to go out in all weathers with the dog and and walk like a constipated penguin on icy pavements. Last week just walking across the tarmacked road in the village I slipped, I hadn't noticed the black ice. I keep meaning to get a walking cane but they are a nuisance with a dog and a lead.

My friend fell in the 2010 snow/icy weather and broke her wrist and elbow, I'd be so stuck if I broke anything.

I must recommend my 'grippers' that I put on my boots, I feel a lot safer - they are called Yaktrax. Stretchy black rubber shaped like a ballet pump, you stretch them onto your toe first, underneath the shoe, and then the heel. They have a velcro strap across the top to keep them tight. The coils are flat, not spiked, so can be worn anywhere.

Chair lady has just said she'll be half an hour late - I've just rushed back

A nice farmer man has just been to buy the chairs - apparently his wife is going to upcycle them and sell them on. I've now got the money to give my son for his petrol costs, don't care what happens to them!

Nice to know you made money and your chairs will be given a new lease of life.

We enjoyed the film, afternoon performance - so less than 20 people there. I used to love the books when I was a child, and thought this was a pretty good representation, but not sure why they decided to do it with so much jumping backwards and forwards in time. As I knew what happened with Beth, was not at all tearful. Wished they had given the roles to actors nearer the ages of the characters they were acting.
Mw - when I first put my house on the market back in 2015, I went through several months of frenzied sorting out of 'stuff'. Using London Gumtree sold off so many things -particularly those which I had just been storing in my large garage. Did keep putting that money into a box I labelled 'My Moving Fund'. Of course, I eventually used it all for other things!!!
Last year, when I decided to gt rid of many other items, I did sell some of them, but decided it was easier and less stressful for me just to give many of them away. Interestingly, two small bookcases I gave away there, I had identical ones I got rid off here - and those last I sold for £10!!!!
Very large items are obvious to get rid off, but many things you will not really know about until you actually move.
When my eldest daughter got her first small flat, she had virtually no furniture and I bought for her a small gateleg table, (folded extremely thin). Over ten years later, she gave it to one of her younger sisters, and some years on from that, I was visiting that daughter and saw this in her hallway - and she told me they were selling it.
Stupidly,- sentimentality took over and I purchased it from her - had no need or use for it, so it got stored in my garage. Still do not know why I did that the second time, but did manage to sell that along with a dining table and chairs, and sofas, and a fold-up pushchair I found buried amidst everything else in the garage. Also sold off a lot of my kitchen gadgets - as I had a large kitchen I had loads of these and decided if I had not used something for two years I should get rid. Must say, having a much smaller kitchen now makes me more careful about getting such gadgets now.
My large, very beautiful and dreadfully expensive oak dining table (and chairs), were given to my eldest daughter back during that 2015 sort out - must say it looks so much nicer in her dining room. I its place I purchased one of those gate-leg tables with (padded) dining chairs that stored within it. These came with me, but having now got a new round table and new chairs, I gave the table away to a local charity who needed tables for their office and have kept the folding chairs so that I do have some spares if needed.
Keep going Mw- sure this could be YOUR hyear for a new property of your own.

Unfortunately Whiff, we have made no progress with finding a house. Now just over 60 days until settlement day it is looking most almost impossible unlikely that we will find anything in time. Hence, we decided to find a rental property but that is as bad as finding one to buy. We have no rental history, we have no income other than a part age pension but we will have significant savings from our property sale - millions so will manage to pay rent but that is outside the norm and the property managers seem to have a problem with that.
We are considering buying a stop gap property that we can live in while we find what we want and then either keep it as an investment property or sell it when we are in our permanent home. Whether we can buy one and settle in the time frame remains to be seen but we are going to look at one on Thursday.

Just to add to the issue and stress level we found out last week that DH needs a quadruple heart bypass and that surgery is scheduled for the 3rd Feb. This of course means he will be very limited in what he can do for quite sometime.

I'm sure something will turn up.

Sending positive vibes to you SueH for finding something soon.
DD was coming to look at a property today and even made an appointment with the school . EA phoned to say it's been taken off the market. One lot of hopes dashed after another.
There doesn't seem to be much on the market within their budget.

Thanks for sharing your possession decluttering Franbern The room looks huge without the table and chairs. I've given the third chair away, I think I under priced them, he's driving 45 miles to get it! Good luck, I say, I won't be looking on ebay!

SueH49, if you have money when your sale finalises, could you find a piece of land and build your perfect house instead? Good luck with Thursday's viewing, fingers crossed it 'will do' temporarily. And best wishes to your husband for his op, it's not long now, he's going to feel so much better isn't he. Unfortunately my husband's upper ventricles were damaged, there was nothing surgical they could do for him.

Sorry to read that Grammaretto, how disappointing for your DD. I hope more properties come onto the market in the catchment area she wants, school and the friends your children make there do shape lives I feel. When we moved here we had a choice of two schools, I sent them to our village school. At the age of 9 they then had to go to the middle school in the next village, where children from our village were viewed as different. I had to move my son as he was bullied, and go to a school in another village, an unhappy experience for him.

I've heard from the EA today, apparently the buyer has forwarded the report to his mortgage company and will be getting back in touch with her. What do you bet he asks me to do the damp works! I asked her if they could draw up a 'reservation agreement' for me - they don't do them.

My daughter and her boyfriend are upstairs packing still, my poor dog knows, he's in his basket with his eyes squeezed shut. So glad my son can help and will see her house when he helps her move in tonight.

I hope you had a good night mosaics, that you slept well. Time to stop worrying about dd, she has just started on her own exciting solo adventure. You will need to keep busy, the empty nest syndrome is all too real and it is yet another transition for you. A list of targets for a few days will help. if you feel that you cannot settle

Crockery is now completely sorted and I have taken the relatively big step of actually using it on a daily basis. Garden planning today, just the rotations and putting some pentagon shaped beds out. I cannot do much else right now. Too cold and the soil is still far too wet to dig. So I am faffing, killing time, being as productive as I can.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

your mind is going to be a bit whizzy today mosaics and no doubt you will feel up and down but try and make yourself busy with the radio on, fill the day to get tired and then settle into your bed knowing that you have done what every good parent needs to do, you untied the apron strings. Feel proud and happy for her. Your own feelings need to go on hold for a while and just become an automaton, have a very precise list if you won`t settle in the day and write the basic list before bed, even down to breakfast, walking the dog and so on, even what you will eat.

I could not live without that list when I was suddenly on my own and neither could my brother. Even as older adults, we need structure

Thank you craftyone, it feels like Sunday to me today, I'd even thought of going to the market! I will put on my hard hat, check my lists, and fill the day, boxes and bubble wrap are coming from the removers this afternoon. I'm not dressed yet but have been googling for packing tips, going to start upstairs.

Enjoy your day and thank you for your support. I know I'm putting off going through the things I kept of my husband's, I know that sentence is clumsy but can't express it, I'm going to tackle them first and get them packed.

That was very good of your son. I hope your daughter appreciates all that is done for her by others.
Yes. Time to strap on your tin helmet and get ready for the next month. Hard work. However, I know its hard to believe it, but you really won't always feel like this. The next chapter in your life is waiting. Just have to get there.

yes Jane, spot on

I am job hopping today, a bit here and a bit there. I cannot settle because I cannot go out, far too slippery. I made a list for myself, don`t want to waste a day from the rest of my life

I must remember to count my blessings, I've just been down to see the tenant in the cottage and he told me of his personal tragedy

I'm glad to say my trusty kitchen table, with all its dings and dents, will just about fit so is coming with me

Mosaciwarts must admitted I felt annoyed by your daughter saying that. She is an adult and should realise how hard it is for you. Also why hasn't she helped you more with the packing. I know she works but in some of your posts you say she has gone to stay with her boyfriend. My children where over 100 miles from me but still found time to help me with things. Sorting out your husband's things is hard. My daughter helped me but I couldn't face it until 8 months after he died. So glad she was with me. There were still things of his at his parents house my son helped me with those.
I know people on here will think I am awful saying this but you need help and your children should be helping.

I don't think you're awful saying that Whiff. It was sort of what I was trying to imply. Mosaicwarts knows what she's like though. Maybe she's just very young and too wrapped up in her life to step back and look at the whole situation her Mum's in?

When my Dad died and I was sorting out his rented flat, I found all my Mums clothes, still in her wardrobe, etc. She had died eight years earlier. He never mentioned to me that he had not got rid of anything of hers.
When my youngest child died, I ever went near his flat, My son and eldest daughter sorted that out for me, just bringing back to my house a few boxes of things they thought I might want to look at. (Took me two yeawrsw before I was able to do that). Another two went to the coroners office to view and identify his body. There was no way I could have coped with that.
Must say that without my childrens help I would not have had such a smooth move last October. My eldest daughter (who lived nearby, and my son - who lives in Warrington), were with me there whole time that last couple of days, when the packers, etc were there. Stayed the final night at my daughters (my son was booked into a hotel). He then drove all the way to WSM tosee me into the flat, before going back up north. That was lovely, and we were able to meet up for lunch on the motorway.
At Weston my daughter there involved, not only her hubbie, but all four of her children (it was half term), and picked up the key, letting in the moving company, and started off sorting out where the furniture was going (I had drawn up a plan beforehand), sorted out heating and hot water, etc. etc. Son in Law did lots of odd jobs, and eventually sorted out my new phone and wi fi.
Grown up children do have to start to realise that they need to take over sometimes, and at the very least give assistance to their parents - particularly if a parent is by themselves. Do think it would be good for Mw's daughter to read some of these comments

Jane10 thank you. My children were 20 and 16 when their dad died February 2004. We had to tell them October 2000 that he probably had cancer it was confirmed January 2001 that he would not live 5 years. My children had to grow up quicker than their peers . But they have grown into wonderful adults. I'm very proud of all they have achieved. They have both worked since they were 16 and both went to university. Financially independent since leaving uni. Neither would let me help with expenses when they got married. Both couples said they had a budget and they stuck to them. My husband would be so proud of them .

Franbern your children are wonderful. I admire you greatly. You have had a lot to cope with since an early age. I don't moan about my life because there is always someone who has had to cope with worse things happening to them.

Evening all, lovely to read all of your stories, heart warming as always. Thank you for being so supportive . I feel badly that I didn't explain before, as you have been given a bad impression of how my family treat me through my omission. I do worry about sharing personal information on the 'web'. and as you know, occasionally request my posts are deleted when I've said too much.

I cannot go into detail, but very shortly after her Dad passed, she suffered a catastrophic life changing event, which no-one outside of the family knows about. With professional help we are managing as best we can. I am lucky to have her x

It's hard when the posts are public although I did hear that you can no longer search for the old posts of a particular poster, to protect privacy.

I always wonder on here as we only hear one side or part of a story don't we, so it can be hard to judge.

You seem very close to your DD mosaics and protective of her too which is lovely.

our DD is no nearer getting settled so it seems quite likely she will move in with us.
The joiner came today and a few more wee jobs were done. He sorted a sticking door and mended another. There are always jobs to be done whether or not you move house.

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You have to believe that your daughter will turn out fine mw and she

Ooop

and she will grow in confidence as you put your trust in her to live apart from you.
Deep breaths in the coming weeks, Spring isn't far away with everything that brings.