Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Would you like a list of what I have put in my garden since I moved in may
4 apple trees (no bigger than 10`}
3 standard gooseberries
2 bush gooseberries
2 blackcurrants
1 rhubarb
6 large blueberries in large pots
miscanthus silver grass
rudbeckia tall and short
catmint
comfrey infertile 4 beds
verbena bonariensis
several hellebores
lily of the valley by the drive (contained, invasive)
hebes variegated
hebe dark
lavenders
rosemarys
roses
monarda
hellianthemums
sedums
gladiolus communis mixed with the grasses
2 large patio planters with small laurels in shade
2 large patio planters with 2 dwarf honeysuckle in part sun
8 nice raised beds for veg rotations
3 iron obelisks from 5` to 6`6 for sweet peas etc
I will be adding 2 good patio vegtrugs made from aluminium (sale price and bought) and have built 3 vegtrug poppy to move around on the patio
Various pots and troughs for bulbs and summer bedding
various herbs in pots for now

5 raised beds are in their own garden down the side, out of sight. I am ready for the off, have all my seeds in including luffa seeds (obelisk) as an experiment. I am having to keep a notebook, in case I forget what I have

A bit more deep fishing for rocks down in the soil when the soil is right, under the obelisks. This is why I would rather be here than go on holidays and why I have to rein in spending.

on the massive L shaped patio, E facing and S facing
2 wooden benches
2 sets of bistro tables and chairs
2 lovely large column joined water butts
4 big rectangular planters with a willow trellis in between as a divider
various keter storage
2 nice tiered stands for troughs
will also have trugs later
2 small wooden greenhouses
1 rack for rootrainers and baby plants

luckily I have hidden storage down the side and at the back of the garage. Phew, now I can refer to this if I cannot remember what plants I have oh and I have a fold up lafuma recliner with a shady umbrella and an attached drinks tray in a keter store

oh yes nature does know best, honey has so many uses, I have a cupboard containing several jars of different herbs for coughs and other ailments and I am hoping that my new potager garden will be what sustains my health, as well as the bumblebee population. I managed to tell the builder, just in time, that I didn`t want any grass. I have only soil and many rubber stepping stones, raised beds and will soon have 3 iron obelisks. I would love to be out there in contact with the earth, hands and knees, weeding but it is impossible weather. It will be a big uplift for all of us when it is 26th march and shandy will have her bright future in front of her and spring will be in the air and we can all move forward

Shandy57 why do these things always happen when you need to be on top of your game.Problem is it's not as if you can immobilise your foot to aid healing. Hope the pain doesn't keep you awake. My daughter had to have honey dressings years ago after she hurt her arm and it wouldn't heal. They healed it up in no time. Also seaweed dressings are supposed to be good to. Shows nature knows best.

Thanks craftyone, I'm not sure I can get my boot back on. Not the weather for flip flops! I'm so busy I can't believe I've done this to myself, what a twit. Just rushing, I'll remember less haste more speed in future. Or whatever it is.

Managed to find a finger bandage and the lint, so I'm micropore taped up to go back, but dreading the feeling of it on the duvet Tom and Jerry cartoons used to make it funny didn't they, it's not!

Oh no Shandy, isn't that all you need - a bashed toe. I do hope it isn't serious.

I feel bad about DH's hand crushed when he and 3 others carried the minikitchen into the house. He said he was at one end and all the others pushed forward and his hand was in the way. It looks so horrible that after nursing him for 2 days I made him see the community nurse who has been dressing it with honey bandages.

We viewed a house today, an hour's drive through rain, and thought it was very nice. It's a little gem. If it were anywhere else it would be twice the price but sadly, location is everything. DH's favourite thing was the heat!
He's so used to living in a freezing house he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep, like Shandy's cat.

The EA says they have to keep the heating on when properties are empty to stop the pipes from freezing.

Be careful with that foot shandy, leg circulation and all that, gets weaker as we age. The skin has to mend quickly, give it a couple of days, you might have to see the nurse at your docs. My gp neighbour was always so very cautious about foot and leg injuries in the elders

So lovely to meet some new people here with stories and experiences to share. A very big welcome

Shandy that survey, please no mention of it to any buyer. If they are keen enough they will commision their own survey. Tell the EA that there is no survey. No-one I have ever known has had a survey done on their own home for a buyer.

I have used 1 1/2 tubes of horrible sticky sealant and could still see the rain ooze through it. I don`t know why I picked grey, it looks awful, it has slowed the rain down, honestly it was only a bit at the side bottom of the garage door. I got myself interested in trying to stop it and it became a silly challenge.I get so flipping wound up about finishing a job properly but I am going to take it out of my mind and wait to summer, cut out the grey and do a neat repeat with clear

Blimey now the rain is battering again, pouring, I feel so sorry for those worried about flooding

Thank you for your comments, I am haunted by that survey and can't bear to approach my surveyor, I'll let people find out for themselves. It's up to them whether they replace the kitchen and bathroom isn't it.

I'm feeling very sorry for myself, I'm sitting here back at the station with my foot in a bowl of salty warm water. My friend gave me a little two part stool for my dog to jump on, and I lifted it without thinking and the smaller piece fell out and karate chopped my big toe. Big pain and blood everywhere and guess what, I haven't taken kitchen towel down yet, had to use some bits of tissue from my handbag. I rang my chiropodist and she said soak it and use antiseptic. No idea where the plasters are I'm going to have to go hopping upstairs, think I put them in the bathroom cupboard. So unexpected! Dog thinks it's great we're back, I wish he was big enough to ride

Glorybee thanks for the info. Never thought of that sort.

Shandy57 any prospective buyer should get their own survey. Those of us who have moved paid to have surveys done on our future homes. It's down to your buyer to have a survey not you. Personally I would never have had a survey done on my own house that I was living. The survey is your property so keep it to yourself.

Whiff, when we had our bathroom done my husband saw a flush where you wave your hand over a sensor (like the ones in motorway services) and decided he would like one. I wasn’t too bothered and our builder said the touchless flush was a ‘toy’ but it really is good and there’s nothing at all to press. They are between £40+ £70+ and seem to be easy to install.

Shandy, re the survey. Isn’t it a bit of a gamble giving it out? It seems to have put a few buyers off in the past. Our wise Crafty is right. It’s the buyers responsibility to do due diligence.

I hate that you have to make theses decisions on your own, I know you don’t like to burden your children with your worries. Good job you have us. Go team Crafty

I've been reading all your posts for ages now and thankfully most seem to have managed to move and get settled. Shandys house looks fantastic and hope she manages to get a good price.

Craftyone glad you got through the day. Don't know about you but I miss my husband more as the years roll by. The children have families and he has missed that. I know my kids weren't little ones. 16 and 20. But in my mind I became both mom and dad for them and now nan and grandad for my grandsons. Does that make sense! The kids have both told me their dad would love the bungalow. . I know I made the right choice moving here but it's nice to know they think that way. I am sure you husband would be really happy with your choice of new home.

Lovely to hear from old and new friends on this thread.

Going to choose my new shower room stuff tomorrow. My daughter and grandson are taking me. I did want white tiles but think I will go for something else. Wait and see what takes my fancy. Need a loo with a flush handle and not a push button. I find they are hard for me to press .

Shandy57 you will be toasty warm in the cottage. Picture you curled up on the sofa, dog at your feet and cat on your lap.

How lovely to read all of your stories about moving, I can't wait to write mine!

Just had a call from the auction house saying that a woman had phoned and asked if there was a survey, the valuer had mentioned she thought I had one. She said it would help my sale if I made it available in my legal pack.

I said I did tell the valuer my most recent buyer had a survey for a mortgage, but I had also commissioned a survey of my own in 2018. As there was a confidentiality clause, I said I'd ask my surveyor.

I've thought it over this afternoon and after my surveyor's odd behaviour towards me in the supermarket I'm not going to approach him. It's also two years old and the house has definitely deteriorated in that time. I think I might have told you I gave the survey to my original EA to help them with viewings - I was horrified to find that without my knowledge or permission they had given it out. When I found out, luckily after just a few viewings, they did destroy it.

I don't know many people who have a survey on their own house before they sell and hand it out to all and sundry for free. I hope someone interested enough will arrange their own.

Off down to the cottage now, still very gusty here tonight, sleety rain.

We moved (smaller house, bigger village) after DH was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, and have been here for over five years. We were lucky that the house we wanted was an executor sale and we made an offer directly to the heirs, who saved thousands on estate agent costs. Our own house was bought by a middle aged couple who each had a house to sell, and the whole process took about four months, start to finish. DH was reluctant to move and opted out of the whole business though he now thinks it was (a) the right thing to do; and (b) his idea!

The only problem was the effect on my blood pressure which reached dangerous heights and took a long time to subside. I hope not to do it again.

Shandy
I have followed your tribulations ever since last summer and have finally been able to see your house. No wonder it has been such wrench for you to leave it. You had styled it beautifully, so much so that it looked good enough to be in one of those posh house magazines. I will also be rooting for you at auction time.
I have n't posted on this thread before although it was of interest to me. It is only after reading the experiences of others that I realise how lucky I have been.
I decided (my choice) to move to another part of town and left the house I had lived in for 50 years. It was n't downsizing because I moved from a terraced house to a house on a new estate that was built 5 years go. I have settled in well, but I think the fact that I chose to move helped a great deal. It must be awful when one has to move because of increasing fraility or financial worries.
I was lucky, my house sold quickly, the house I bought was empty, and the solicitor I used was very thorough and there were no hiccups along the way.
The hardest part of the move was getting rid of presents given to me by my deceased family. How many bone china tea sets and lustre jugs does one need.
This is where Hetty has no empathy, good and bad things had happened in that house and it was my childrens' family home. That was the hardest thing to come to terms with.
I am pleased that at the age of 73 I made the move. I should add that I am a widow but has it has been over 20 years since the death of my second husband so I m used to being on my own.
All the best and good luck Shandy

Well grans isn't all happening here? Been on hols and so much has happened!

Shandy you did it - go you - Auction it is - so glad you finally made that decision. I know it's scary - we feel apprehensive on your behalf - but we honestly all feel that it's the best course of action. So happy to think of you nice and snug in your cottage.

The house is beautiful, a real treasure, all it will take is someone with some imagination and vision to restore it, and yes, a hotel would be wonderful, particularly is it is so close to the beach.

Crafty was it the 5th anniversary of your husbands passing? He would be so proud of how you have created this wonderful, life affirming thread, and how many virtual friends you have made and helped.

Sick of this awful weather, roll on spring - can't wait to wake to the dawn chorus with the sunrise blasting through my open bedroom window.

Won't be long now, and by that time, Shandy, your house will be gone and your new life will have begun.

So exciting

Shandy I've just looked at your property particulars. What a gorgeous house. It looks so fabulous that I bet it gets snapped up for a large amount over the guide price. As someone else said it would be a lovely B&B.
Sue you can get good non stick underlays for rugs on hard shiny surfaces. You'll need to avoid slips and falls. Sorry. Stating the obvious alert!!
Enjoy your first night in the new oven cottage.

Just back from settling my puss cat into the cottage, she went straight under the bed. Like an oven down there, I have to get to grips with this heating control thing.

I came back to a viewing request text for Saturday, I'm really surprised. My next big decision is if I get a preauction offer. As my friend's husband said 'get rid of it it will only get worse' I think I will be very tempted

Yes Sue, it can feel like a dream and sometimes like the tail wagging the dog. I am liking the good news today.

Yes 5 years yesterday whiff and thank goodness I did not think about it apart from a fleeting thought, I could not go out, which had been my intention every year. I think I deliberately blocked it from my mind, self-preservation. It is what my brother does and does not want reminding, 4 years today for him losing his wife

Framilode there are good EAs about, mine was very good and she started her own business after working for the most dishonest EA ever, she had her eyes opened and vowed to work for her customers. She has awards

Thank you all for your enthusiasm on our behalf.
H has not seen our new place so I will take him past tomorrow after I collect him. He’ll not be able to see inside but will get an idea. No Shandy he is not home yet. Another 12 hours or so. I hope he approves of it but I’m sure he will as there is plenty of space for his bits and pieces.
Whiff you are right, having some time before we have to move will give us the opportunity to sort things in a more relaxed manner.
Glorybee, the steps will be the issue but I’m sure we will work out something..
It’s really strange. Even though this is a done deal It all seems so unreal. I feel as though I am in a dream watching this all unfold around me but I’m not really a part of it. Maybe that is because we have been here for so long and this is our stability in life.

Sue. lovely to hear your double good news. Do make sure that hubbie takes it very slowly for a good few days. He will think he can rush into things, and will not realise how just coming home from hospital will exhaust him. Lovely you now have a rental and that stress is lifted
Shandy, we will all be holding our breath for you on 25th March. Do not worry too much about the finer details of the details. House looks gorgeous - but such a large place for just one person, do not know how you ever managed it.
Think we will just ignore Hetty - she seems to feel she is above many of us, on a another thread she just tries to put down the other posters. Unhappy lady!!!
Cannot imagine what it feels like to be flooded. Can remember this happening to a friend of mine some years back, took nearly a year before she was able to return to her house. All our insurances will rise because of this. Wonder what happens if you are in the process of selling or buying one of these properties. What a nightmare for all concerned.

Regarding what a poster said about being over stressed about moving. I have moved 13 times in my life and dealt with thousands of buyers and sellers during my years as an estate agent. The whole process is stressful for nearly everyone, the only exceptions being, in my experience, investor buyers offloading property or a deceased estate.

We are all different and some feel stress more than others and some transactions are more difficult. I think when you are trying to sell a much loved home when you need to, not necessarily because you want to, that is very difficult. The whole thing is a huge life change, not made any easier by the ridiculous conveyancing system in this country, which seems to have gradually become even more complicated. Also when you are trying to do this on your own after years of doing things with your partner this makes it even harder.

I admire Shandy for persevering through all the set backs she has suffered and hope very much that she will have a successful conclusion soon.

Just had a look at the listing Shandy57. All I can say is WOW. Someone will buy it at that price. Probably with a view of running it as a luxury b&b. I am sure people would flock to stay there. It's the sort of place I stayed with husband. I know you may want a family to have it but you are moving on. It doesn't matter who buys it. Over all the months I been reading you journey you have grown in confidence and are more positive.

Craftyone did you have an anniversary of something yesterday? I think you mentioned the 17 Feb. If you did hope you are alright . Sorry ment to say something yesterday. Don't know where the time goes.

Grammaretto fingers crossed it's ok and your daughter likes it.

Shandy, your property looks amazing. I had the same issue as you with errors made by my agent but he did sent it to me to check before putting it on Rightmove so I was able to amend it first.
Crafty, you are spot on about not moving to places at risk of flooding. The problem is that there are now many places flooding that never have before. On the other hand, in my area there's a river that used to flood but had the banks built up when I was young and it never has since.

I don't think this one is anywhere near the water as it's on quite high ground. I hear what you are saying though.