Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Looks like Shandy57 doesn't like what we are all saying.

Maybe she is taking time to work through it all in her head. I know during our stressful move I found it hard to take everything in. The best way was to write check lists and tick things off. The emotional side is harder for everyone. I left behind my beautiful grandchildren who are now over 200 miles away. I feel sorry for our daughter and sil too not having our support. Miss them dreadfully, but things will improve. Shandy try to move on as quickly as possible, new beginnings will be round the corner.
We are all in this together as they say.

Shandy
I don't know if your still reading these posts but on the off chance that you are please believe that we only want the best for you.

This reminds me of my dearest friend who had had a problem with her daughter for years. I always knew what the problem was but never said anything. Then one day we were having another conversation about the same problem. I just came out with it. She just looked at me and left soon after.
She came to me a few days later, hugged me and said, thank you for telling me.
Wha I'm trying to say is that sometimes things just have to be said. I wish you well in whatever you decide.

I don`t think anyone likes anything negative said about their offspring. I do wish shandy the very very best and hope that she will do the right thing for her own future. The AC have started on their adult lives and once 60 is reached then the subtle turning point comes to older adult life with all its problems, not least of which is making difficult decisions, often by oneself. Get it right and there is the prospect of a happy comfortable life ahead but get it wrong and the opposite could be true.

If we are happy and comfortable then a huge burden is taken off AC. We may never actually realise that but the AC will in time. It means that elderly parent can be left alone, knowing that she will come to no harm and that relieves the conscience of many an AC. The opposite is all about squeezing until the pips run dry and elderly parent is left in great discomfort, both where she lives and financially

My AC are in the former bracket, they advised me to do the very best for me and I am grateful for that

Today is moving day for Shandy. So she has better things to do than to read our comments. Sure she has seen them all over past few days and is considering what we are saying.
However, I do emphasise so much with her.
When things go wrong with selling, it is so much easier to think of all the good points in staying put. This is why it took me nearly four years to make the move to a flat in WsM. Each time a sale fell through, or there were difficulties all I could think about were the good reasons NOT to move and maybe just re-furnish/re-decorate, etc. etc. (which I did on several occasions).
As we get older it is much harder to get away from the idea of 'Preferring the devil we know....'.
Must say I was so perverse, that each time the sale seemed to halter or fall through I desperately wanted to move, and each time it seemed to be progressing well I panicked and (equally) desperately wanted to stay put.
Was not helped by the fact that the daughter who lived close to me and with whom I was (am) very close, was totally opposed to moving so far away. The experience of my SiL and Bil concerned her. A few years back they had moved into the Country to a lovely house and no financial worries, but both realised (although BiL has yet to admit it), that it was a mistake to go so far from London, and my SiL in particular has got more and more depressed down there.
I really think that if had not been that my house was still 50/50 owned with my ex-husband (although he had never lived there), and he was applying so much pressure on me to sell - I would still not have gone through with it.
For me, it has worked out so very well, but I am sure that Shandy - after so long and so many disappointments regarding the sale, is beginning to wonder if she is somehow meant to stay put.
Now, I do not believe in 'fate' etc, but she has many emotions tied up in that house, her childrens' and her late husband..
Hopefully, once she has settled down in her new rental and realised how nice living in a smaller, cosier home can be, she will be able to see the house for what it is - and then be able to consider the best way of getting rid of it the quickest.
Hope the move has gone well, Shandy, and we all look forward to hearing from you in your new home.

Afternoon all! Absolutely freezing again here today, hope you are all keeping well and warm.

I sent an email withdrawing from the sale and selling agreement with the estate agent yesterday, very kindly they have released me immediately and gave me a list of the viewer's names. I also messaged my lovely friend who works for the company separately to thank her for all her help, so kind of her to offer to meet me to discuss moving forward, but I have decided to go to auction. I think finding the cottage shows this has been my subconscious decision all along as you only have 28 days to move once the house has sold.

I felt such a sense of relief withdrawing, although much guilt at the hard work the EA have done with this buyer. However, I just felt so uncomfortable about the negotiation, I think I definitely would have suffered with seller's remorse. I also cannot face the thought of more negotiations/surveys involving me lifting floorboards or similar, I just want to leave it with the viewing agent and hopefully eventually hear it has sold.

I couldn't move today because my mover contacted me to say their job was going to overlap yesterday, and would I mind moving tomorrow instead. Fingers crossed the storm won't hit tomorrow morning instead of Sunday.

I took my doggy to the beach this morning as usual then went into town alone to collect the keys.

I popped into the supermarket for my dog's special dog food, and had a 'destiny' meeting with a neighbour across the road. Firstly she has bought nuggets for the horses and her husband is feeding them every day - secondly, she told me which auction house she bought her house through. I knew the people that lived in the house before had gone to auction, but couldn't remember which one it was. I have been dithering between the two auctions, and have now decided to use the same one Mike used, he was a wise man. He went to auction to sell quickly as his wife wanted to return to Goa to live.

I came back and drove past my house so my dog wasn't upset and luckily the shower man had been at the cottage very early, so it was empty. Absolutely bone chilling cold, and no inventory. I rang the agency and it's not 'complete' yet. I thought the young couple might have left me a note, but they haven't, I'll have to find out where everything is later. They had defrosted the fridge/freezer so I've turned that on.

I met two neighbours and apologised in advance to my immediate neighbour about my dog barking. He looked a bit fed up about it, I'll have to be careful.

I peered into the oil tank, need to get a measuring stick, and am pleased it seems to be very near the top. I've not had a modern wall mounted temperature thing before, but found the instructions in the kitchen drawer, will fiddle with it tomorrow when I have my glasses. Chimney is very sooty, I won't be lighting a fire until the sweep comes next Friday.

I've just phoned the estate agent to arrange a valuer from the auction house to come round, she's coming on Thursday, it will give me time to make the house presentable again.

It has occurred to me that I don't want photos of the house empty on the web, and as I own them as I paid for them, I have asked if I can use the photos that were used for marketing. In addition, it will give people an idea of what it looks like as a family home.

I must be more assertive and on the ball with this now, it was daft of me to let the damp/timber specialist leave without looking under the floorboards.

Stay warm and well everyone, I've got a sore throat!

Well done Shandy and good luck for tomorrow.

Yes. Well done. You're sounding very decisive (considering the sore throat!)
Lots of good plans to get on with.

good, its so nice to have you almost up and running again shandy. You`ll obviously be very busy for a few days and we all wish you the very best. Lots of hugs and wd for all that planning and forward thinking. Your movers sound nice

Crickey Shandy, you have moved forward in leaps and bounds! Just keep yourself warm in the cottage especially with your sore throat.
When we moved into a rented semi in London we had two big country dogs who tended to bark. So as not to fall out with neighbours we bought a special collar for them to wear. Before anyone asks, it is a little box which sprays lemon up the nose when the dog barks, totally harmless. It is activated by the microphone. Dogs hate it. We only had to use it 3 or 4 times then just hung it on the door to remind them.

I'm sure the dog will settle down in a couple of days when he becomes familiar with the neighbours. Ours are always very barky initially and then go back to their normal selves.

Shandy57 so glad you have decided to go to auction you won't regret it. Hope you will soon be cosy in the cottage. Just think of all the fun you will have looking at places to buy. Look after yourself.

Thank you very much for your good wishes, I've no idea what is going to happen over the next six months, but at least I'm doing something towards starting a new life

I've just received the 85 page inventory for the cottage, I won't be printing it out! Lots of light bulbs need replacing but they don't supply a ladder, I'll have to take mine down. I was also seeing things, it seems there is three inches of oil showing on the 'tape measure' which I missed on the tank. Was a trial taking the top off, I'm not good with these reverse screw tops. First time I've ever had to worry about oil theft as the tank is so accessible.

I've been worried about my dog as he has a bed on the windowsill here and loves looking out. I took him down to the village and bought some chox for the EA from my friend's shop (my daughter did her w/e in there) and was saying I couldn't work out how he could reach the window sill in the new place - she whipped out this tiny boxy type stool, where the bottom step fits inside it! Perfect, I do worry as he has arthritis now. All I need now is to find something he can use as a 'shelf' to lie on.

I've nearly finished preparing for tomorrow, I've stuck post it notes on everything I want taking, as well as having the list. I've been very naughty and not tackled the shed, I'm just going to let them take everything in there down to the garage - which unfortunately seems to have two old destroyed wasp nests. Another new one on me, I am very scared of them. It's just one adventure after another, ha ha!

I'll come back soon, take care xx

Best of luck for tomorrow Shandy, new beginnings....!

I hope your flit goes well tomorrow Shandy

Morning all, I've had a sleepless night, I am glad you all think I am doing the right thing. I am so scared the house won't sell at auction, and I'll have to move back in and end up penniless.

Luckily it's dry and calm so far this morning for the move, I feel terrified about the storm tomorrow, I keep thinking of the 1987 storm.

Ask yourself what Churchill would say - 'Keep buggering on!'. You'll manage. Try not to worry about the outcome of the auction. Easy for me to say I know. But, if the combined goodwill of all of us on here had anything to do with it, that house would be snapped up by kindly new owners.

Thank you Jane10, I will 'keep buggering on', thanks for the mantra. I am always too anxious about everything.

Off to get dressed and walk my poor dog, he doesn't know he's going to be stuck in the car - I'm just going to leave my cat to find somewhere to hide rather than containing her. Hopefully she'll stay in my bedroom, they don't need to go in there.

Right, will report back later!

xx

All best wishes that the move goes smoothly for you and your animals. Just think what good timing it is -you will be nice and snug when the storm hits tomorrow.
Remember that storm of 1987. When all the power cut out, it woke me (I was still very mich a Mother, back then and anything out of the ordinary woke me). As I went along to the front door to check if it was just our house (meaning I would have to worry), or the whole street - so no specific worries for me. My eldest son called out from his bedroom 'It's okay Mum, the whole of London is out!!'. Strange thing to say, but he knew that I would be worried that it was something wrong in the house. He had been awake and had managed to join up some speakers to a battery operated radio and was listening in.
I then checked all my children, to re-assure any that were awake and got through to the morning. My eldest daughter (17) had somehow managed to sleep through the whole storm and wandered downstairs (leccie was back on then), ready for school and thought we were jossing her when we told her that school was closed that day!!
Wardrobes all done, was a full days job for three men, they started at 9.00 and finished at 5.15pm. So, of course, I then spent most of the evening unpacking and putting things away. Dismantled the double rail I had purchased at Argos - for £15 was one of the best buys I made - very useful, but have now put it with the directions and it will go to Charity Shop.
Has not been all that cold down here - I am still sleeping in a short sleeved cotton nightie with just a summer weight duvet on the bed, and only have the heating on for about two hours in the morning and another two in the evening. The flats are very warm - fortunately, lots of opening windows otherwise it could be too warm in the summer. Am really looking forward to spring and Summer down here.

Shandy57 thought you would be up early. It's an exciting and worrying time for you. Your house will sell and then you will be free to live the life you deserve. The auctioneers will help and guide every step of the way and advise you on a reserve price. I'm not a pet owner but am sure your cat and dog will settle once in the cottage with you. One thing about it after the move today you will sleep well tonight. Chin up worse things happen at sea.

Thank you Franbern, I'm like a cat on a hot tin roof this morning, the movers are coming just after 9 am. I told the kids I was just going to go straight to auction, and I don't think they agree with my decision, but I cannot see that an estate agent is going to find an 'ordinary' cash buyer able to proceed. Being listed is such a problem. I am going to meet with my friend who works for the estate agent in the next few weeks, it was so nice of her to offer.

I will be glad not to be here tomorrow, it is a wind tunnel when we have high winds. I was teaching at Richmond College when the 87 storm hit, and could see the gym roof starting to fly off before the college was evacuated. Students were terrified. I was so scared I actually hit the car in front of me as I was turning out, and had to find a pen and write a note. My poor neighbour had just had surgery, and his garden wall was blown down when I got home. My biggest memory is of the loss of such special trees at Kew Gardens.

Glad you are warmer down there, bit warmer here today

Thank you Whiff, it's been marvellous having so much support on here, I am really grateful for everyone's 'virtual' friendship.

I'll sign off now and come back tonight xx

Jane I love that mantra too! I don't want to get political here, but it worked for Churchill and Boris. Don't be like Theresa May Shandy, too much faffing and indecisiveness will lead to problems. You've said it as it is to the EA, now stick with it even where your kids are concerned.
I hope the move goes well and that your dog settles soon. Our dog moved 7 times, even abroad twice, and just took it in his stride. Our cats think it's an adventure to move and were as happy living by the London tube as in the country .... just the takeaways were different!

Your pets will be sensing your mood shandy and will be thankful when you feel calm and settled. Might be strange tonight, first night in a new home plus the moon is full. I love the way it is chin up and bosoms out, your attitude, your gritted teeth. Proper old school, nothing will defeat you now, you have found that hidden strength

Does anyone else have an orange wind warning?

We're going to be in the orange warning zone tomorrow and are on the coast too. The seafront is trialling a glass wall at the moment, so it will be interesting to see how it holds up. Some of the pebbles are huge so there could be smashes.