Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Not a great start to the new decade for some of us, best wishes to your husband and his pain relief SueH49, it's upsetting to think of him. My husband had a very low pain threshold. As for your buyer being demanding during this stressful time, words fail me. Best of luck with what is to come. As the Sikh guide said to us in India, everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end

I hope all goes well with your appointments Whiff and you are able to hold that water bottle with confidence again

So I'm in my coat, the house is like a freezer, and I've had the most horrible morning so far, but I appreciate it's all trivia in the grand scheme of things and I do count my blessings.

I heard from the EA this morning who said the house wasn't given a valuation by the mortgage surveyor. I find this very curious as the buyer had mentioned the £335K being granted if I financed the damp/timber work and they inspected and were satisfied?

She then went on to say the sales progressor was waiting to hear if I would consider the 'revised' offer of £310? I haven't spoken to the sales progressor since before Christmas when she asked me to arrange the damp report. The EA invited me in to discuss it with them both, I said I was too busy packing. I feel really discomfited about the whole affair.

She said even if I did return to the market, it is likely we would be involved in this type of negotiation with any buyer, cash included following the survey, so I decided to contact the damp/timber specialist and ask him to return to inspect the joists. He rang this morning and is coming on 18 February, free of charge. I've contacted the nice young joiner who did my windows, and asked him if he, or someone he knows, could help me lift the floorboards and replace them after the inspection. Neither the buyer's structural surveyor or mortgage surveyor went under the floor, so I don't know where this 'decay' and repair bill of £15K for the floorboards has come from. I would like to know.

Got an email from Octopus saying they couldn't open my account for the rental as my previous supplier wouldn't release me - ! I didn't expect them to contact my house supplier, so sorted that out.

Then opened my post - yet another letter from HMRC showing that yet again they've got their figures wrong and think I owe them tons of tax. I spent ages opening a 'government verified account and thought I'd do something physical and go into the annexe to check on the floorboards.

Locked out. Door knob had fallen out the other side. After unscrewing the plate, I couldn't work out how to get the actual handle off so had to come back and google it, now I know it's a big tug and I'm back in there! Thankfully happened today and not Saturday when the removal people came.

I'm off to the cemetery to see if my husband's one surviving crocus has made it.

Take care everyone xx

You couldn't make it up Shandy You will need to write a novel based on your posts on here. It will be a thinly disguised manual for house purchasers and would be very funny if it wasn't so serious.
I am glad you didn't rush at their calling to "discuss". What is there to discuss. You going ever lower with the price to suit this horrible buyer. I want to say even if you lowered the price you wouldn't want him to have it.
Is no-one else allowed to view while he is faffing around?
Being in the rental will be like a holiday.

My mini kitchen arrived today and I am still unwrapping it. It is quite small under all the packaging. The plumber will come tomorrow to plumb it in. It was very heavy and it took 4 men to bring it into the house. Including DH who cut his hand in the process. Then we all had a glass of cider.

I hope your DH is feeling better now SueH49

Shandy57 that buyer is taking the ####### . Your estate agent the same. Hope you go to auction as you have wasted time, money and energy one this person. I 'll buy a copy if you wrote a novel . What would you call? Hopefully you will have a better day tomorrow.

Grammaretto have fun with the kitchen once it is fitted.

Didn't have an echo today but saw the consultant cardiologist he was lovely. Have to wait for appointment for the echo. Did have an ECG. He was very reassuring and doesn't think there is anything seriously wrong.

Oh gosh. What a stressful time you're all having. It's one thing after another for you Shandy!
I hope your DH feels much more comfortable soon Sue.
Onwards ladies. It's all we can do!

Grammaretto, I'm looking forward to hearing your opinion on your mini kitchen, I haven't bought any new equipment for a very long time.

ha ha Whiff, I'm going to bed to think of a funny name for the book to make you smile. Glad your appointment went well and you felt reassured.

After my well woman check (all of four minutes!) I was so relieved to hear I don't have diabetes, the thirst I am experiencing is from vaping, but I'm not ready to give it up yet. I was tempted to buy cigarettes the other day when stress levels were through the roof, I won't do it for my kids sake, plus now I don't smoke, know how it makes you pong!

I've been thinking all day and having spoken to both kids earlier to get their opinion, decided to leave the estate agent and reject this buyer tomorrow. I have been left feeling my house is a worthless lump that isn't worth anything to anyone, and definitely feel the buyer is trying to take advantage.

I am going to register at the estate agent that uses the auction house, they only charge £2K to sell your property. As I have the cottage to look forward to, I can leave my doggie down there and come back and do the viewings. After six months, I will put it into auction. I do hear all of you saying I should go into auction immediately, and do appreciate your support, but I am scared.

I feel very relieved I have made the decision, I do feel I would look back in anger if I proceeded. Proced? Neither look right!

Thank heavens for my electric blanket, I'm sure I've got frostbite.

Love to all and thanks for helping me through these dark days xx

Shandy57 it's nice to hear you sound bit more up beat. Glad also you are ditching that estate agent and buyer. When you go with that other estate agent ask their advice about straight selling and auction. They may advise auction . 6 months will take you to the end of summer. I know you have said you have decided what to do but why wait. I'm sorry but I don't understand what your reasons for doing so. I know it's hard to let go of your family home. But after all you have said here you aren't happy. Hopefully when you move into the rental you will change your mind about waiting.

SueH49 how is your husband doing and are you ok?

Shandy I am glad you have done some talking and will be ditching the EA and buyer today. I cannot bottle this up any longer and am going to speak as a straight-talking friend with your very best interests at heart

I feel sad that you cannot let go of the house and another 6 months is you putting the decision on the back burner again, just extending the stress period. Your children should be supporting you 100% and they are not, they are keeping hold of childhood at your cost both to savings and health and you are condoning this. If you become ill and incapacitated, then what? will one of them take you in and look after you? If you die through stress, they would take the quickest way out and go to auction

I don`t know why you cannot do what is right for you. I thought you were courageous and it does take a big leap of faith to let go of what is familiar. What is holding you back?

I do agree. Shandy 57 should go straight to auction. Otherwise it's another 6 months of increasing dilapidation.
Perhaps she will feel more detached when she has moved to the rented place.

I am afraid that I agree with the others Shandy. Of course we respect your right to make your own decisions but I think these cash buyers that the new EA is offering will be hard nosed developers. If you do receive an offer I'm afraid it will be very low. They buy to do up and sell at a profit. If you go to auction at least there is a chance that they will bid against each other and that will lift the price.

Hard as it is to say I think you may have to review what you are expecting for the house.

Shandy, what are your reasons for waiting such a long time (6 months)? Does not sound very logical in any way!!! Has this new EA been to your property? If so, what price do they recommend. Surely, the sooner you get rid of it, the better for everybody - particularly yourself.
Six months, an empty property will deteriorate in many ways, and you will need to continue to keep it clean and also replace anything that breaks down - just seems a money pit- that six months to me!!!
Okay, let this EA try to market it, but also tell them to put it into the earliest possible auction - what can you lose by doing this? If it does not reach your reserve price in this, it can just continue in the normal way, but at least you will have tried, and it may be it will be successful.
Does not seem to make much sense to move out and pay all that rent, for the same period as you are saying you are keeping the house.

Shandy, please listen to the very sage advice given to you by craftyone. Six months will lead to a major deterioration of both the house and the garden. I assume that your rental also has a garden that you have to maintain and trying to keep up with 2 gardens will be impossible.
The only logical reason for your vacillating seems that you don’t really want to sell your house. I am almost willing to bet that in 6 months you will find further excuses to avoid selling. Your children are being unhelpful at best and almost enabling the strange decisions that you seem to be making.

I agree 6 months is far too long. I was looking at your advert and it is such a great house. I had forgotten you have the annexe too. Such a lot for your money.
Now is the time of year to begin a project. We saw our house in Feb. 40 years ago. The deal was done in April and we moved in July. We had to camp at first so glad it was summer.

The plumber is here but there were no taps with the unit and no cutlery drawer as in the photo. Grr.
Don't you hate having to chase things up.

Maybe Shandy you should begin some serious househunting. Imagining, dreaming and planning where you will be could be the impetus you need to move on.

Thank you everyone for your interest and best wishes for my husband. He is doing better although still has some challenges. What they do to facilitate the procedure really is brutal for the body. He was being moved from ICU to a normal ward this afternoon so must be doing alright.

I have advised the EA that there will be no access for the purchaser until after we move. They cannot expect us to give them what they want but not give anything back in return. For them it is all about getting on with the project and by having access to do tests and other things before settlement will save them a lot of time and money. That however, is not my problem and as they bought the place at a price in their favour I don't feel I need to be considerate to their needs.

Shandy, like others I don't see your logic in keeping the house for another 6 months. Emotions run high, we have been in our place for 39 years and we renovated it ourselves, gradually and as we could afford it. We took it from being unlivable to a comfortable albeit basic home. Sometimes I feel as though I am letting it down - selling to the highest bidder who will push it down with no regard for the family home it has been and the ups and downs a family lives through. However, the time has come to let go and move on and IMO that is what you need to do. Move on to the next stage of your life while you can still enjoy it. We have left it later than we should have done and it is so much harder physically.

Whiff, glad that the first tests are good, fingers crossed that the echo cardiogram will be too.

Shandy57 I agree with all the others. It's hard to understand why you would put yourself through this.

SueH49 glad to hear your husband is moving to a ordinary ward that's a good sign. Thank you your good wishes. Glad you aren't letting them do tests on the property. Buyers seem to want everything their own way but give nothing back in return.

Shandy57 do hope you take our advice here. You need to move on with your life.

So glad your DH is recovering now Sue. Totally agree about the purchasers not getting early access especially with DH recuperating.

I had phoned the courier and the kitchen company to grumble about no taps when lo and behold, the plumber discovered them inside the parapet on top of the unit. I had to phone and apologise but when I said there wasn't a cutlery drawer or kitchen cupboard back, he said no that's correct. Apparently I had been looking at the brochure picture instead of the special offer one I bought. Anyway he says he will send me one for free if I give him a nice review.
I don't think the plumber had seen these mini kitchens before. He was moderately impressed.

I'm so grateful to craftyone for being honest with Shandy. It's obvious that some of us have been thinking the same. Unfortunately we are only 'friends' on line so we can't sit with Shandy and thrash this whole bloody nightmare ( for her) out.

Shandy doesn't seem to have a good close friend (as I have) where these big big decisions can be gone over and over with.

I genuinely feel very very sorry for you, Shandy and just wish that one of us were nearer to you so you could thrash it out with 'us'

Do your best to clear your head and come to the decision that you know in your head ( not your heart) is the right one.
Everyone is thinking of you and wanting you to have a much better stress free life. ??

Grammaretto, do think we need a picture of this mini kitchen when it is all set up. Have you decided yet whether your daughter and family will be able to go into your flat or stay with you.?
Tomorrow I have the wardrobe fitters coming in to build these in both my bedroom and also my spare bedroom. Be so glad when this is done, as I will finally be able to unpack my final moving boxes.
Then on Saturday morning off to the local hospital for a CT scan to see what is causing these pains on the back of my head.
Today I attended a further U3A group - Discussion Group, was really interesting and I look forward to going in the future. This now means that on three consecutive mornings each week I have U3A things. And, all within easy 'trundling' distance for me.
Have also just received my Cinema card which enables me to take in a Carer free of charge - lovely new cinema near me and am now looking forward to being to go along to some films with my daughter.
Shandy, we are all thinking so much about you - this selling has dragged on and on for you. Do let us know the reasons why you wish to not go to auction for six months.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202002/medium-184531-minikitchen2.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202002/medium-543969-minikitchen.jpg

Your life sounds very enjoyable now Franbern. You must be so pleased the move has worked out well for you.

I will try to post a photo of the mini kitchen. I've not read the manuals so I haven't tested the appliances but the water is running. Hot and cold. So far so good.
The plumber also renewed the silicone strips around the shower edge so it looks clean and fresh.

We still have no news from DD but will have a place for them to live come what may.

Grammaretto have to admit I didn't know what a mini kitchen was. As it's something I've never had a look at. It's a very clever design. Thanks for teaching me something new. I love the fact I can still fine things that I never knew existed. Never to old to learn. Your daughter will love it.

Very neat Grammaretto !

Shandy I was so sad to read your referring to your house as "a worthless lump" that nobody wants. Try not to prolong the agony by delaying the auction. You sound so fed up. Everyone here is encouraging you and offering sound advice.
Glad your husband is making good progress Sue.

That mini kitchen is excelelnt grammaretto. Dd will come around soon, her ruffled feathers will die down and harmony will be restored. Life is never smooth and it is lovely that you have provided space for her

The past few days have been heavenly, sunny and calm and twittering birds. I have so much enjoyed being back to heavy lifting outside,I feel as though my muscles have sprung back into life. I do hope that life gets onto an even keel for those living with upset right now. Its a hard journey

Well got through the anniversary of husband's death yesterday. I glad to say I wasn't sad. Finally. Only took 16 years. Think he would be happy how I am living my life. He would love it here. Seeing my son and grandsons today so that's me chasing them round the bungalow like a loon. Got some jobs lined up for my son . But have got jars of mango chutney and jam , choc chip cookies and an apple cake which I've made as payment. Going to have a go at making tomato ketchup next week never made it before. Do love trying new things.

Glad you are enjoying your life Craftyone.

SueH49 hope your husband's recovery is on track.

Franbern you are having a busy social life. Hope everything goes well with the CT scan.

Hope everyone else is having a good time whatever you have going on in your life.