Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

This de-cluttering malarky has not stopped, I took a load to the tip today and also rehomed some things including a very nice neat spin dryer. People are very grateful when I give them things. I cannot believe how long I have hung onto stuff for `just in case`. Sometimes I have to dismantle things to be able to carry them and shockingly there was one large item which I had assembled over a year ago and never needed to use.

I also own up to having too much fuel stored for the stove, silly me, I still had the old days in my head, not thinking that now I have gas, this stove is only an adjunct. I won`t need to gat any fuel for a few more winters . This capricorn old school mentality of mine sometimes does not know when to stop

Craftyone hopefully I have got rid of all the stuff I brought with me that I didn't need to. Emmaus took 7 large boxes and 3 filled bags of bedding and clothes. Took a leaf out of some on here's book and gave my daughter some really good clothes to sell on eBay. So far she has put 3 things on and I now have £35.80 to go towards new clothes. She will put the rest on soon. Didn't think anyone would want them or if they did would only get £1 each.
After getting rid of these things I am resolved to never be a hoarder again.

When well with the neurologist. Had blood taken for genetically testing and going to put me on anti seizure tablets. He listened to everything my son and me had to say. Took lots of notes. Was with him for about hour.

SueH49 hope your husband is doing better at rehab.

I had wondered about the decluttering thread craftyone. Did everyone but me finish before Christmas?

I must call a roofer to check the slates. There are too many leaks to ignore.

Glad all was well at the Neurologist Whiff. Such a relief.

Still no word from DD. I am determined not to pester her for news but I am worried.

Grammaretto - re. your daughter. Why not send a her a nice little card just saying Sorry - and hoping that everything is okay with her. You are worried about her, she is probably upset about things. The parent has to be the bigger person in these sort of circumstances.

Morning everyone, scaredy cat here, I'm so frightened of possible damage with this storm coming and will be staying at the station when it arrives. Roofer hasn't turned up, unfortunately. I've set up a bath mat on the tray to catch the water, luckily have several so I'll be able to swop it once it's wet. So very stupid of us not to block the hole from the old boiler pipe in the roof so its completely watertight, I can't think how to do it. It does have tiles on the outside, but from inside it's a big square with some type of fabric with mesh over it and the rain was just pouring through.

Glad your appointment went well Whiff, I thought you were already on anti-seizure tablets? Hope the results come through quickly.

I've got to work my way through the house today photographing everything I want to sell/donate, the house is still very full, I've got six weeks until the auction and a month after that if 'fingers crossed' it goes, so should be able to manage. I have had a rethink and am going to try to take everything I want to keep down to the cottage, I don't want the additional costs of storage if I can avoid it.

I visited a friend yesterday and her husband was very blunt (quantity surveyor), he said I am making the right decision going to auction, it's only going to get worse as time goes on, and the house is only worth what a buyer will pay. He read the buyer's email, and like all of you, thought he was a chancer. My friend also, like all of you, thought the scenario given might have been 'woman alone, desperate to sell'.

I took your comments on board Franbern, I contacted the auctioneer and have reduced my reserve. Obviously her aim is to make the auction house as much as possible, my aim is to sell quickly.

As my friend's husband is a quantity surveyor - he knew the damp/timber company and was appalled the specialist didn't inspect the timbers. He offered to ring them for me, which was nice, but I explained he had offered to come back. Not quite sure how it all happened really, I should have insisted at the time, what a pushover I am! Lesson learnt.

I got in touch with the Halifax yesterday and it seems an account was missed during probate, I have to go into a local branch with the Bereavement form and ID. It was very painful revisiting the admin I had to do when my husband died.

Off to walk my dog while it's quiet, I've just found out it's half term, there could be lots of very cold children on the beach!

I meant to add that a large white van was parked by the horse's field when I passed yesterday - with RSPCA in small letters on the side. I hope they can do something for them, I've not heard back from the son or his mother about buying the hay, I can't believe they are allowing these horses to suffer eating mud without any shelter.

Well done Shandy, for starting to get really determined and making decisions. Suppose it is hard when you are still (newly) by yourself. As I have been 'single' for the past 25 years, - and long before that it was me that always had to make the decisions, I am quite used to it. Must admit there are times that I will deliberately play the 'greyhaired old lady, not too sure about things' card. Particularly, when I think I am dealing with a chancer of any sort.
But, I have been forced by circumstances, in the past, to be much more hard headed and realistic.` Not very willing to trust many people, particularly people trying to 'sell' me anything.
Hopefully, Whiff the medication will help you. I am still awaiting results of my head CT scan, they told me two weeks so need to wait a further week.
Shandy, can understand your concerns about the storm, but does seem a pity for you to spend the time at The Station, not sure if being there can prevent anything - and, surely, you would be better off sitting it out nice and cosy at the rental. Did you get the heating sorted out there yet? You are correct that it would be silly putting stuff into storage, when you are virtually paying that with the rental.
I sold a lot of stuff - but right at the end - the week before I actually moved, I just put things onto Freecycle and gave them away, just so they were gone and I did not have to pay to have them taken away,. Six weeks is plenty of time to sort everything out.
Sue, hope your husband is settling a little better at Rehab, I am sure all he wants to do is get back to you - but probably does not realise how hard he will find that particularly if he does it too soon. Hope you find somewhere to rent. Cannot believe how difficult that seems to be.
Do any of you do as I do? - my daughter laughs at me as I still keep a 'watchful' eye on flats being sold in the area I have moved to. No real idea why - suppose I have got so used to this over the past four years it is hard to get out of the habit of 'popping into' Rightmove every week. Actually, it has shown me that I definitely bought the correct flat, nothing else there anywhere near to coming up to the specifications I have here. Must say, prices seem very static at present, both here and in the London area from where I moved.
Yesterday I spent the day at home - my electrician was due to come in the morning to fit an outside light in the balcony - got an email from him saying could not make morning would come in afternoon. Then later in afternoon a further one apologising as he was too busy that day. Never mind, I did some clearing out of some very old financial papers, no idea why I had kept them so long. He is now due to come next Friday early afternoon, Fingers crossed.
Hope none of you have too bad a time with Storm Denis - so pleased I am safely in a flat with no worries about flooding, roof tiles, garden fences, etc. etc.

Grammaretto have a little falling out with my daughter about 3 yrs ago it was over something stupid. I phoned her after texts where answered with one word answers. When we spoke we were both in tears and our relationship hasn't been stronger. Being a mom doesn't get any easier no matter how old your children are ,just different problems to deal with. Hope you are back in touch soon.

Shandy57 I haven't been on any anti seizure tablets for almost 3 yrs as the 2 I was on for decades gave me jaundice . At least I have no lasting liver damage. My son checked with the Dr about these new tablets that they won't affect my liver as he said mom couldn't go through that again. It's funny when things are happening to you you forget how it must look to others. When your body goes out of control it's hard to cope with. But it must have been so much worse for my children seeing it happening to me and feeling helpless to help. Glad you had a think about your reserve price wise words from Franbern. 6 weeks will fly by. You will be a busy bee during that time. I know it's hard but try not to worry about things you can't control. Hope you don't have any damage . Remember to look after yourself . Keep warm and remember to have plenty of hot food and drinks. It's so easy to forget the basics when you are busy . Are your children helping at all?

Hope everyone is ok and no one gets flooded.

Thanks for your wise words. A card may help re DD.
DS has offered to help her too.

I think they may want to use our house as storage while they look for jobs and accommodation. Therefore I should be clearing out some of our unneeded clutter to make space. I should be clearing it anyway

I think Franbern you have found your perfect place. I saw your wise words on another thread. I was the same after we bought our house, kept looking at the property pages. It's reassuring to know you made the best choice.

Interesting Shandy that your structural engineer friend agrees with your "advisers" on here.

Now to phone the roofer. No way they will get up on the roof this week but I will form an orderly queue.

Franbern, you are the centre of the wheel and very wise indeed. Shandy you have that grit that comes with living up north. Live and learn, what a true phrase, seems as though we are all learning, don`t think we ever stop

Last night I did click and collect at wickes for a karcher 4 pressure washer, my big patio needs a good clean. I drove home with it in the dark and rain, horrible drive and I plopped it in the garage. Went to the garage this morning and sliced the box open, to find no karcher, just 2 broken paving slabs and the polystyrene. Talk about being upset and mad, would the people at wickes believe me? I phoned to warn I would be coming

20 miles each way, someone at the store had emptied the box because of thieving. He said they steel everything, a chainsaw last week. So there was a little sticker on the side saying `empty box` but there was security tape on the top, no need for me to be suspicious.

Ok I got the remaining karcher this morning and asked for a voucher in compensation, I was still cross, their fault. They gave me 10% back and I was ok with that but it was a journey I could have done without. It was click and collect, one of their staff had put it into the trolley for collection

Shandy, all I can say is to go back to the cottage with a car load and leave the station while stormy. There is nothing you could do, you have done enough and need some respite yourself. I am very very glad you have spoken to a QS, could not have had better advice

Gramaretto, I do hope your daughter gets in touch, or you can get in touch by sending her a card. I am sorry you are in this state of waiting, hugs to you.

SueH49 thinking of you in the humidity and heat looking for somewhere, knowing your husband is so unhappy, I'm sorry you are having to endure this. If the fencing isn't sufficient for your dog could you buy a roll of the green plastic used for climbing plants to make a temporary barrier? Staple gun it to existing posts? Or would he burst through it?

Craftyone, I'm truly shocked about your purchase, what a dreadful thing to happen especially in this bad weather. I have a horrible memory of the Karcher, my husband did our front steps, which were far too fragile to take the blasting and I'm sure that's when they started to deteriorate.

Whiff, I'm sorry I asked that question with my stressed brain, you had told us about your jaundice and illness early on in craftyone's posts. I'm glad the new tablets won't affect you in the same way.

I just wanted to ask if any of you have bought a 'dongle' to get wifi, or tethered your phone? There isn't any wifi at the cottage, I've now found the double phone plug. I went down to meet the chimney sweep yesterday morning so can now light the coal fire - LOADS of soot came down.

I will be going down to the cottage later, you are all right, I'll follow your advice. It is silly to stay here listening to the storm and worrying about what might happen

Shandy,would have thought that the best thing for you to do is to transfer your phone line and wi fi from The Station down to the cottage. You will need to use both of them there, not at your 'old' house any more. Contact your providers and ask for them to do this asap.
I used such a dongle -many years ago when I was doing a lot of training courses all around South England. But that was in the days before broadband. Seems silly for you to pay for a land line and broadband in a place in which you are not living, and not to have it where you are living. As it so close you should be able to keep the same contract and land line number.
Think that Wickes got away lightly with just 10%, Craftyone - you should write to their Head Office, giving all the details, at least they should make a suitable refund for your travel costs, plus compensation for your time.
I am having problems with a heavy Amazon delivery. I have been told they tried to deliver it on Wednesday when I was out, I asked for it to be re-scheduled for delivery on Friday and the computer stated that Re-schedule delivery was arranged. It did not come yesterday - so I tried again for today - again same message - but it still states on Amazon site that it has been returned to manufacturer.
It is nothing urgent - if it not delivered today - I will cancel it, get my money back and sometime in the future try again.
Grammaretto -many, many years ago, my eldest daughter got very upset with me - was not even sure at the time what it was about. So, I dropped a card in her letter-box. The card was marked SORRY. My message said that I was not sure what I was sorry for, but if I had done or said anything to upset her I was very sorry.
When she got home and read it she burst out laughing and telephoned me straight away. As I have said, do think it is often the parent who has to act the part of the bigger person and make every possible attempt to cut through these silly - but so miserable - misunderstandings.

I tethered for 4 months shandy, it worked 100%

I am watching the air pressure on my weather station, it is 1000 now and will be dropping by another 700. It will be nasty and expect popping ears

The roofer says he'll pop in on Monday morning , weather permitting. Meanwhile DH has found another recommended roofer so perhaps we should get quotes. Except I want the slates replaced now.

I emailed google maps to have the map marker to our house changed and they have done it!
I only hope that the GPS on delivery vehicles use that instead of the wrong one and so leave their calling card at another address altogether. More than annoying. I tried the Council first but was told it wasn't their responsibility. What is?
I think DD would react badly to a card which just said sorry, Franbern she would think it was sarcastic! I'll ask her dad to phone. She is still talking to him - but not today.

You will soon settle into your new place Shandy. You are making good progress every day. I can see it being useful to be near to the other though.

Oh Grammaretta, mean for you to write a message inside that card. Not just a bald printed card. Does not matter what way you repair that fence, do get it sorted out as soon as possible, not doing anyone any good as it is.
Do spend the storm time in your new place Shandy. You have to make that step in realising that The Station is no longer your home. Big step that!!!! It is so hard saying Goodbye to a place that holds so many memories and has been 'home' for so long. In many way, despite the problems involved, it has been easier for us having to complete the sale and purchase on the same day. We have no way of 'going back'.

Craftyone sorry about your trouble with Wickes. At least you have got the right thing now. Think like Franbern they should have given you more of a discount.

Shandy57 don't apologise for asking me a question. It's lovely you are interested . Picture you now in the cottage with a blazing fire toaster fork at the ready making the best toast ever. That's dated me. Do they still have toasting forks? When I lived with my parents had many happy times in front of an open fire toasting things whilst over backs froze. Those were the days. Always frost on the inside of the windows. My children laugh at me when I tell them that. The first house we brought before getting marrief didn't have double glazing or radiators. Had rampant chilblains until we had the windows changed and radiators put in just before our daughter was born.
It's stopped raining here and the sun's just come out. Expect it's just having a pause before the main event. Keep safe everyone.

My daughter gave me some cream to put on my bruises. Arnicare, arnica cream. Been using it twice a day my bruises are already started to yellow. That usually takes at least a week if not longer to happen.

Shandy - I tethered my mobile to my laptop and purchased £20 extra on my phone bill when I moved. I had two to three weeks without a landline or broadband whilst moving. BT cut me off early and made me wait one week after moving to reconnect. BT needed quite a long notice period whereas I had only a couple of days notice of exchange.

I want to recommend command holders, I put 2 hooks up earlier on the side of my end kitchen unit and they are already being used and out of sight. What I like is that they leave no holes. Today I have been squeezing things into spaces where they won`t constantly get in my way, broom and microfibre mop are next and I have ordered command broom grippers, these 2 items are going onto the inside of the utility room door, I am going to give the long broom 2 grippers, the mop is an extending one and needs 1 gripper

My folding clothes airer is now up high onto a double hook in the utility on which I had a set of steps, now to be bunged under the spare bed as I have another set downstairs, this is me not completely downsizing, still. We had 3 sets previously, just 2 steps high, all used then, now one in garage, one in skinny hall cupboard and one upstairs. I needed to get stuff off the utility floor, had to keep moving them to get into a cupboard, so did a bit of thinking outside the box.

I had read the paper from cover to cover and was getting bored so have assembled the karcher with rubbish instructions. This is where I could do with a practical husband, I always hated having to read the diagrams to work out how to screw things together. I used a drill/driver to set up a folding trug the other day and too much force, so the hollow tube squashed. It is ok and I used gorilla tape to hide it but this is something that my huband would not have done, I used the driver because my palm was getting sore

I wish I had know about command hooks previously

What on earth are 'command holders'?

yes what are command holders?

They are eg hooks with a sticky strip on the back and the strip can be removed by simply pulling a tab. They aren`t just hooks, the broom one is a grip. I wouldn`t hang a heavy picture with the hooks but they are a very good invention. I use alcohol wipes to make sure the area is non greasy before sticking. I ordered the broom grips from amazon. B and q have basic hooks
www.command.com/3M/en_US/command/

I admit to being a bit bored, am going upstairs with a nice book soon. I`ll nod off if I watch tv

I found some similar broom hooks which I have put up in my storage cupboard in the hall. It is quite large and has shelves and takes all my cleaning materials and tools. I find anything involving screwing in or hammering in difficult for me to do these days so much prefer items that can stick. I think that the Command ones can only go on shiny surfaces (eg tiles), the ones I used can go onto wood surfaces (and, must admit, sometimes assist them with a little super glue).

Ah. Now I know what you mean. We've not had much luck with those sadly ?. Didn't stick very well for long.

Are you coping with the storm? Its wild here but the rain is coming in bursts and I saw hail on the ground last night. I went up at 8.30 and added an extra pillow behind my back. It was lovely reading in bed. I have had to wean myself back to reading books, I think this is my first one since I decided to move. Concentration disappeared when the stress came

I wonder, book reading is going hand in hand with me having started to make a list for the next day again. I think it is me giving myself structure instead of floating from one thing to another. I take 2 minutes and write down my basic meals and a couple of to-do things. Just like after my husband died, I did this for months, to get me through. Maybe all humans need structure