Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Craftyone like you I like structure . It's how I cope after my husband's death. It's how I've got through the last 16 yes without him. Either the night before or in the morning as soon as I wake I plan what I need to do that day. I'm a creature of habit and when I plan on doing something it puts me out if I can't do it. I am flexible in as much if the children need my help unless it's an appointment I can't break I drop everything to help. I spent to many years over a hundred miles away from them not being on hand for them. Making up for lost time. My meals are easy to plan as I make a batch of soup that lasts 6-7 lunches and stew that lasts 6 dinners. I met a woman at U3A and have met up a couple of times that was planned days in advance. But she will text me other times at 8 to say can we met up at 10.30. Always decline. I don't like to change what I have planned for the day. The children have said have you told her you need more notice must admit I haven't but must do. Don't really understand why I haven't done it as never usually have trouble telling people things.

I read everyday and have done so since I was a child. Since I started cross stitch 4 yrs ago I do some everyday. Must admit I am addicted to it. But as you can't do it quickly it slows me down and find it very relaxing. Love how little crossed can make complex pictures.

Being lashed with high winds and heavy rain here. Forget I am not far from the sea. Hope everyone else is coping with this storm and no one is flooded.

I feel almost guilty about the lack of a storm here. Further south the rivers have burst their banks and trees and cars carried away whereas we have had a bit of wind that's all. The lid of my black compost bin flew into the neighbour's garden and someone threw it back and we do have a leaky roof when the rain is heavy. I don't think that is a newsworthy story
I agree we humans like a routine. We are animals after all. I remember in the days when we did long car journeys, we would all get ratty at the same time. The motorway services were crowded because, guess what?, it was lunchtime.

I hate wasting my day, unless my body is telling me to rest and then I listen to it. I have the short list for today, soup already made in the fridge and had a proper cooked breakfast.

Anyone else have a breadmaker? I am glad I didn`t give mine away, I made a large spelt and rye yesterday, like to leave it overnight and then to slice and freeze the next day, I have a brilliant ritter slicer as all this bread is hard on the hand. I used to make sourdough boules and believe me they
are very hard to slice by hand. The loaf takes 4.5 hours in the bm and is very substantial and tasty

I feel very safe in this house in the storm, have learnt to relax now that the whole garden survived ciara. Next dry day I will be out pressure washing the patio, the older part, cannot wait, I like being outside. I bought the patio add-on, sister recommended it. Might go and buy some wellies today

Must say I am a creature of habit. Like to have something each day to plan the rest of the time around. Not necessarily going out, could be some job in the house.
Have been indoors totally for the last two days, waiting for a delivery which never came!!! So, yesterday morning I spent sometime in the morning getting to terms with taking down the extraordinary amount of picture hooks dotted around the walls here. Many of them were stuck on with NoNail, and taking them down has also meant me having to then put a plaster filler into holes left behind. Took me a good couple of hours *a couple made me think of dentists pulling difficult teeth!!)- then everywhere needed good vacuuming. Pleased have finally got most of these off now.
Today I am doing my weekly Sainsbury shop as (with half term next week) I have visitors most days.
When I do my shopping I, more or less, plan my menus for the week and just buy what is needed for those, Do not like having the same evening meal more than two days in succession. However, always have the same breakfast each morning and only vary my lunch between two or three meals (all of which involve eggs - boiled eggs, eggs on beans on toast, omelette ). When I clear away after my evening meal I also set the tray on my trolley for the morning (Mug with t-bag, bowl and spoon with porridge sachet) - can just become an automan when i first get up!!!!
One of my twin daughters and hubbie and their 10-year old daughter are visiting next week. Not staying in the flat - going to stay near Glastonbury - but coming to check out where and in what I am living.!!
I will have two full days with them, one in WsM, and one going to Longleat, they are off to Cheddar on another day and then back home. Also on Monday I am being visited by some very old friends (meaning ones I have had for a long time - not a comment on their ages). They were wonderful when they lived close to me in London - and it was on their doorstep I collapsed the day after the funeral for my son and everybody had then left and gone back home. They moved down to Exmouth some years back and I have only seen then once in the past few years. Looking forward to their visit - and a very busy week.
When I got up during the night it sounded very wild outside. Did not look, but as I got back into bed I did feel so sorry for the many rough sleepers and wondered how they were coping.

Phew! I’ve just spent a lot of the weekend reading parts 1,2 and 3 of this thread. I’m a relatively new member of GN but moved house last year to be near our dd and sil. We put the house on the market in Feb and began the seemingly endless hamster wheel of tidying for viewings, husband taking our 3 dogs out (I got the dates wrong once and hubby was out for ages before I gave him ‘the call’ to come back!) feedback etc. The agent dropped the price, as novices we let ourselves be guided by them but the were really good overall. They contacted previous viewers and one put in an offer and we moved on 23 August. It was very hairy waiting for all docs etc to fall into place at the last minute but it was the best decision, we are now in a one bed bungalow just a cockstride from our daughters house.

This is such a lovely thread and so much kindness and wisdom has been shared, so glad I found it! I have found myself rooting for various posters, particularly thinking ‘c’mon Shandy (or Mosaics!)’. The most frustrating thing about it is that I have to wait until March to find out how you get on at the auction Shandy (unless something happens before). I would add my prayers and good wishes to everyone else’s that you will sell well and find bliss in a safe new home. Every good wish to others who are having health problems just now.

Morning all, interesting you have talked about food, I was just thinking this week how little I can buy food wise without my daughter here! I seem to be surviving on a lump of cheese, bread, bananas and porridge! I must buy some veg today, I have a £3 Tesco voucher so will splash out!

Thanks for all of your support for my move, I am finding it ridiculously difficult to do it. I have been putting it off as it is so small but must bite the bullet today. The oil tank is now full, and the chimney is swept, no more excuses. I have got a toasting fork Whiff, we used to do marshmallows - hot hot hot! I am overwhelmed by it all. Thanks for the wifi transfer info Franbern, I've looked it up and will ring them tomorrow.

Off to the beach first with my very patient dog, the seagulls will be waiting for me, I feed them brown bread every day whilst the weather is so bad. Lots of visitors with rock pool nets yesterday leaving the beach, they were being sand blasted!

Franbern you have been busy and got a busy week ahead of you. If your family are like mine they will nag you for over doing it. Have a wonderful time with them.

Glorybee glad to have you with us. Craftyone really started something with this thread. For me it's been a life saver and still a place I love being. I have learnt such a lot of different things I never knew before. Love hearing what everyone else is up to. Nosey MOI!

Shandy57 you need to look after yourself. Make yourself a nice big stew with either meat or as I like at times Quorn chicken pieces. I also brown Quorn sausages and then cut each on into 8 and add them to a large batch of veg and pearl barley. Yum. I don't mind having the same dinner 6 times. Also it's so quick and easy to warm up. Don't get blown over on the beach.

welcome glorybee The thread tells a story and in so many ways our lives are intertwined, even remotely. We are all counting the days to after the auction. Shandy I wonder, maybe you can do a bit of online searching now that you have placed your reserve. Look at the lowest prices for nowie prepare for the worst and hope for the best

About food, I called into iceland the other day, first time for very many years. It is excellent, everything looked very good and I bought a ready meal, a vegan one and it was delicious. I was very impressed by the value of their fish and vegetables. I will make room in a freezer drawer by next autumn and fill it with frozen veg, they even had those nice sprigs of brocolli

Wellies are bought and I paid a fortune, I am a sturdy type with wide calfs, all the cheaper ones were terrible. I was cringing about getting these boots off, so hard to pull, it was a farmers shop. The only ones that fitted me were aigle with adjustable tops and I will be able to stuff my trousers down if I put my thin ones old

There will be so much flooding today, the roads were full of very large puddles. I think I may well keep my sturdy yeti, I liked driving today and it brought back memories of driving in my land rover, my yeti is 4x4

Hello to Glorybee, so glad you have come out the other side, wishing you much happiness in your new home.

I will always be grateful to craftyone for starting her thread, it's been a lifesaver for me. I don't know what I've have done without it and the lovely friends I have on here. I did think of joining another website but saw it had some very unpleasant posters on there. I cannot read the thread from the beginning, I did try, but I was full of hope then, every viewing was a possibility. My latest buyer has crushed me and I am pinning my hopes on the auction. Although saying that the auction valuer said they don't always sell first auction - which is why I took Franbern's advice and reduced my reserve. I'm still worried that I may have to pay again to 'enter' the next one if I don't sell in March, there is nothing in the contract about it, I will email her tomorrow.

Have a great time Franbern, it's so nice to hear of your family events. I always want some cheese when you mention Cheddar! Hope the monkeys don't misbehave at Longleat, I haven't been there for 40 years, a boyfriend took me and I remember I was self conscious about a spot on my chest - turned out I had chickenpox!

I will go back to batch baking Whiff, I stopped as I'm not taking my big chest freezer. I turned the small fridge/freezer on at the cottage on Monday. I will write menus again and shop carefully, especially as I have two sets of bills now for a short period. I like quorn spag bol and chili, and have bought some plastic tubs to freeze it in. My favourite meal is quorn chili, rice and lots of natural yoghurt. Unfortunately I have to lug the microwave down there, I forgot about it in the move.

I wear shortish Sorel Tofino lace up boots Craftyone, I did buy full length Aigle and they are marvellously comfortable, but too long for my short legs. I can't drive in them, it's dangerous when I do! I'm going to buy a boot remover for the Aigle, I keep putting my heel on one to get the other off.

Anyway, I only really came on to give you a chuckle. I've just got back from the beach with a grumpy dog in his drying off coat, and waiting for my porridge.

I slept through the storm last night.

We had torrential driving rain at 6.30 pm last night and I rushed out onto the platform and watched the rain start to flood down the wall, I photographed it for the roofer. I thought we'd got away with it as it didn't last long, there wasn't any rain when I went to bed at midnight.

When I set off this morning my drive was completely water logged and as I progressed the roads are so flooded they are almost impassable. I spoke to a dog walker I know and she said it was dreadful during the night. Ha ha so much for me 'being on guard'! My crude waterproofing mop/lid has worked without supervision, luckily!

Off to the cottage in a minute to do several things on my 'list'. I thought if I set myself tasks each day it will be easier, I do waste time fiddling around on here far too much.

Stay warm and well xx

My husband forgot to pack my calf length wellies on our last dog holiday to Cornwall in mid November, but had packed 2 ‘normal’ pairs which won’t go over my stout calves. In order to walk down the muddy lanes and wet beaches I cut one pair down (they were cheapies) and even then had to add a slit in the back to get them on. As soon as we found a suitable shop I got some which were better quality. One of these got slurped off by quicksand on Crantock beach which made me fall over - that was quite scary (and slightly embarrassing!). When we got back I googled quicksand and it’s not quite as scary as the images I saw in those old films with a whole body being sucked down in minutes!

Have you seen the sinkholes on some beaches? There are some on cornwall beaches and certainly on Blythe beach. A man could sink without trace in one of those, they bubble and just look like puddles on the beach

Mission accomplished - bedroom curtains up, bed made, carpet down in lounge and twenty year old rotting black bits everywhere carpet underlay in bin! Like a sauna in there compared to here!

Second dog walk of the day coming up, around pavements this time. I am nervous of the sinkholes glorybee and craftyone, there are some huge ones here, one of them is due to a pipe just off shore. People post that their dog has 'just been saved' luckily. Mud or quicksand I've read you fall back with your arms out, to spread your weight, but in the panic of being sucked in it's hard to remember.

Hello from me too Glorybee . How are you liking your new place?
I came on here with a thoughts of downsizing but realised there was far more to it than I have energy for at least currently. I have a DH who is having treatment for cancer, in-laws who take some of our time plus a DD who will be homeless at the end of this month. so I didn't feel strong enough to pursue moving house.

I have been rooting for Shandy since the start. Her predicament but also her writing style is compulsive reading. I want someone deserving to buy the station - someone who loves it and will live in it and preserve it. Preferably someone with a bit of money.
Was that mouldy carpet in the old house or the new?

I think you are brave walking on the beach or very well wrapped. I took SiL to the seaside last week and that icy wind cuts straight through you.

I just want someone, anyone, to buy Shandy's house so she can really move on knowing she's done her level best to do everything right.

Welcome Glorybee, so glad you have found us all, even if it is too late for us to give you the moral support we give to each other. Your journey' was slightly in advance of mine last year. House on market in April - final completion at end of October.
I must say that my virtual friends on this site was often the only thing that kept me moving on during those horrible times. So grateful to Craftyone who started it all up.
Do understand why Shandy does not (at present) want to revisit the earlier threads - hopefully, if all goes well this time - she will later this year. A couple of days after I moved into the flat, I did spend a few happy hours re-reading the whole thread.
Shandy, you do seem slowly, slowly to be settling into your new home, now you have the bed set up there you really need to sleep there tonight,.
So pleased to have made a realistic reserve price - I note that the lady who was keen to purchase my house back in May, has still not sold her house. Knew from the start it was overpriced. Beautiful house, expensively enlarged, but sometimes you cannot get back all that you may have paid. out. Any home is only worth what people will pay for it, and this can be very different at different times. You really need to sell The Station, and sort out buying something smaller, cosier and easier to maintain - your future ever-home.
Daughter and two g.children came round this afternoon - my daughter helped me contact Amazon (go them to phone me) and cancelled the item which seems to have caused them problem to deliver. Not sure what happened, but as far as we can make out it was never put out for delivery to me.
Last week I was reading on the Food thread about soup makers. Now, I was a bit sniffy at first as I make soup easily in a saucepan, then whizz with a stick blender. But something about how easy these are to use caught my attention and I treated myself to compact one. Ideal for me. So, this morning when I got home with my shopping, I threw potato, carrot, leek etc into this new toy and turned it on whilst I was unpacking and putting away. Worked brilliantly, and without watching it or doing anything else, I was able to have a large bowl of soup for lunch and another bowl has been put in fridge for use later this week.
This afternoon, the sun cam out and the sky became blue, not sure how long this will last. Have a good half=term week everybody.

I’m still wary of quicksand, and hopefully we won’t come across any sinkholes, they sound horrendous. We’re very settled in our bungalow thanks Grammaretto and don’t miss our old house which we lived in for 33 years at all. We lived with dd and sil round the corner for 9 weeks whilst some alterations were made inc new kitchen and bathroom, that seemed to drag on for an age - we did go to Ludlow for a week and Cornwall for 2 weeks to break it up during that time. We have read about getting ‘bungalow legs’ but are not bothered about that - sometimes when we’re out and about it’s quite a treat to go up the stairs in a department store! I’m 60 and dh is 67 so we feel we moved at the right time, in readiness!

Welcome Glorybee,

I think you are right about moving at the right time. We started planning our move over 3 years ago. As you have read the whole thread(s) I'll not go over our situation again but suffice to say we are now struggling with health issues which make a move so much harder. Unfortunately with just 5 weeks to settlement we still have not found a new home or even a temporary one. Having no rental history makes it very hard to be accepted for anything decent and not being wise to the ways of applications etc is making life difficult. All these things would have been avoided had we been 3-5 years younger. (We are both 70)

oh I do hope that a rental turns up very soon Sue and I agree that 65 is a good age to consider downsizing and moving and it is also more likely that there are two people to cope with all the stress at the age of 65

So I am reining in my spending again, got the wellies, got everything I need for the garden, except for the mulches and I only pay £2 a bag for that. I have plenty of food in also books and hobbies. Yes I do need the pressure washer and I wanted the vegtrugs and the obelisk, the trugs will be so useful, aluminium at a bargain price. I think I will be able to be almost self-sufficient in home grown veggies this coming year. I have 7 decent raised beds, two vegtrugs and intend to grow squash on the ground.The obelisk is cast iron, self assembly and will support sweet peas this year and last my lifetime and beyond

So I will pay my cc off today, having transferred from my savings again. I will live within my pension for a while

Hope none of you are having to dealt with flooded homes. Just watched the videos on BBC of the flooding in Wales. How will people recover from so much damage to their houses. They must have lost irreplaceable items. That made me think what would I try to save if I only had a short time to get out. Decided on all the boxes and albums with photos in. As these can never be replaced as we can not go back in time. What would everyone else save?

Shandy57 hope you where cosy in the cottage and not worrying about your home. You have done all you can to protect it. March will soon be here. Do you know when it will be advertised for auction?

SueH49 hope you find somewhere to stay soon. You have enough to worry about with your husband and your health. How is he doing?

Glorybee as you have read the previous threads you know my moving house was not an easy journey. I have been here since August and love my bungalow and everything about my new life here. I'm not far from the sea but haven't had time as yet to visit the beach. Since being here my life has never been so full. What with the 3 things I joined and having the family near time flies. Due to my fall on Tuesday won't be going out this week. I am still recovering and high winds are forecast again so I am being sensible for once. Also my kids would go mad at my foolishness. My daughter is taking me for an echo on Friday. Bungalow knees is that a real thing! I suppose it's not having stairs. If that is the case then there must be flat/ apartment knees as well?

Keep safe everyone.

Thank you for the welcoming messages ladies. SueH49 here’s hoping that rental will be found quickly followed by a great house so you can both settle down. Heart surgery is amazing, I hope your husband is making good progress - my husband has heart trouble and had a stent fitted which made a massive difference to him being unable to walk very far at all to being able to walk 4.5 miles a day (and much faster than I can walk at the moment).

Crafty, I agree it is better to be able to share the stress with 2, unless you both vehemently disagree! I can see that this thread has been a real encouragement as a place to vent and share the horrors and reliefs of moving house, although I only saw it a few months after we moved.

Take care with your recovery Whiff, I hope the echo puts yours and your family’s minds at rest. I know what you mean about not getting to the beach yet. We’ve been sorting stuff out, decorating (I do all that, and we didn’t want the builder to spend any more time here, we wanted to get in!), going places etc and as you say, the time just gets gobbled up. I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t had time to explore the village properly yet and it’s only a 4 min walk away! DH sometimes mentions various shops and I can’t quite place them yet, so far I’ve only been to the co-op, the vets, the village hall to vote and the most excellent kebab shop, which is just before you get to the village. I do too wonder at ‘bungalow knees’, there must be plenty of countries all over the world where people don’t have to climb stairs!

Morning all, storm Dennis winds are still wreaking havoc here in Northumberland, but nothing like the flooding and devastation those poor souls are suffering in various areas I saw on the news last night. How will they ever sell their home after this, I do feel for them.

No beach today as can't risk my dog getting sand in his eyes, quick walk and I'm off to do the bereavement form at the Halifax to close my husband's account. Such an unexpected thing to have to do.

I'm then going to Argos to buy a cordless vacuum, I think I've already told you my aunt sent me a cheque, so nice of her. As the cottage is small it will be perfect, also can't face dragging Henry up the narrow stairs.

Stay safe and warm everyone xx

Crikey - 24 pages! Moving can be simple. Pack up (or dispose of) your belongings. 95% of them are totally unnecessary anyway. Hire a van and some strong people and move on - job done. It's all the planning and overthinking that's exhausting, not moving in itself!

Oh Hetty - it is not the actual move that is the problem - it is the selling and buying of property before that. And, then - even the move. Whereas I agree that we could get rid of a lot of 'stuff' we have accumulated in our lives - why should we? If it has happy memories attached what is wrong with keeping it. And, it is not quite as simple as you make out - arrangements have to be made regarding utilities, wi fi, land lines, doctors, dentists, pets, ongoing medication, etc. etc.
You make it sound like the old song of packing up the van with me old home in it........but life is so much more complicated these days.
It is the overthinking that usually helps to make the actual move as less stressful as possible. Those who have too much of a 'laissez faire' attitude to such a large upheaval are usually those who get into all sorts of problems.
Anyway, welcome - Hetty- to this thread. Are you / have you been in the process of moving recently?
suppose it is a lot easier if just renting property, but the long drawn out process of selling and buying property in this country is something that causes so many problems and so much stress.
Storm seems to be passed (again), lovely bright and sunny morning. After yesterday afternoon sunshine, the wind and rain returned with a vengeanance last night. Again, I was so happy that I was tucked up in this flat - no concerns about fencing, roofing, guttering etc.
Shandy, do keep us closely informed about the auction. When, in March is it due to happen? And, are you now actually living in your rental?

Hello everyone,

I've not been on the site for a while, partly because was ill, but I wanted to say again how helpful and reassuring it was to 'talk' to people in the same boat when I was frantic with worry about moving last October.

Shandy (took a while to realise you had changed name) - I'm pleased to hear that you have made the decision to put the house up for auction and I hope you get a good price and then can find somewhere suitable. In the meantime I hope you are soon settled into the cottage where you are not frantic with worry about all the might be going wrong.Though I realise of course that the Station House is still your responsibility for a while.

Crafty, Whiff, Franbern and others - really nice to read your news. I also tend to batch cook but will usually only have the same meal twice and freeze the rest. Crafty - I have a bread maker. For many years I made bread by hand but bought the BM about 10 years ago and it’s great. Though I do still sometimes make some soda bread by hand.

All my stress and worry seems a distant memory now and I absolutely love my cottage. Various bits of work needed doing, some has been done and the rest will gradually get done. I had a wood burner fitted recently and it’s great.
Best wishes to you all and thank so much for the virtual support I gained from this site.

It is friends supporting friends Hetty, many of us have a lifetime of happy memories with loved ones, tied up in things that we may have bought together or been given. You have been very lucky and I do hope that you never have to undergo the stress that most of us have gone through, not least of all starting with being widowed. Personally I had 49 questions from my buyers solicitor, 40 of which were nit picking and needed paperwork, that for a house only 9 years old and delving back to pre-planning permission.

Whiff I do hope that you get some re-assuring news after your echo and scaredykatt, a very warm welcome back and hoping you are fully recovered

I am going to do a little bit of maintenance this afternoon, seal up a few small areas either side of my electric garage door, driving rain goes everywhere. I am waiting for some super duper sealant from amazon and I can use it on damp areas. My obelisk came, its fab, will give my garden some more height. Only a few more weeks and I can start seed sowing