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Would you move to the country?

(115 Posts)
SueSocks Tue 14-Jan-20 20:27:24

We live in a small town on the south coast, the area is becoming increasingly developed and crowded. We have thought about moving. Husband likes Derbyshire, we have seen a couple of properties both in small hamlets. They will be fine now, we are in our 60s & both able to drive. My worry is about what happens when we can no longer drive. I think that maybe we have left it too late to make this move. Has anyone moved to similar places at a similar age? Any problems or recommendations?

M0nica Wed 15-Jan-20 16:32:15

Missfoodlove rural crime is not actually that high, Country lines in towns, yes, and farmers have a problem with thefts of stock and machinery, but otherwise rural areas have much lower crime rates than towns.

I live in a busy village in Oxfordshire close to a major dual carriageway and a junction on it. Most months our 'neighbourhood' police officer has no crimes to report in the village magazine, even then the best he can find is speeding through the village. Although DD did see someone running out of the local co-op with a basket of goods and jump in a car and drive off.

Judy54 Wed 15-Jan-20 16:38:12

We moved in our early sixties and now live just outside a market town which has all the facilities we need and is surrounded by lovely villages. We did look at properties in villages but felt that it could be a problem if or when the only shop or pub shuts down. Where we are we have the best of both worlds farms just along the road and the town centre within walking distance. We did a lot of research before making the decision including where is the nearest hospital, GP surgery, what are the bus services like, what activities go on in the Town or villages are they things we are interested in/would like to join. If there are things you still need such as a theatre, cinema, cafes, shops then a small hamlet is likely to be to isolated. A small market town or larger village may suit your needs better. Best of luck with whatever choice you make.

SunnySusie Wed 15-Jan-20 16:48:40

I think we have found the ideal (for us), two large villages so close together they share a High Street with a greengrocer, bakers, Tesco, Co-op, two cafes, library, bank, building society, four pubs, two restaurants, doctors, dentist and an excellent bus service. The villages have a population of 11,000 combined and the city, three miles distant, a population of 120,000. The countryside is five minutes away by foot at the end of our road and the High Street is five minutes away at the other end. Schools, including a secondary with sixth form, mean there is a huge range of ages in the village and its not only retired people, although the village is big enough that it funds a parish co-ordinator for older people. Its friendly, highly convenient and should we need to in the future the pavements are mobility scooter friendly. We used to live out in the country but were 100% car dependent, whereas now the car barely leaves the drive. It is my greatest pleasure to stroll down the High Street on a Saturday morning bumping into people I know, or having a coffee with friends.

Fennel Wed 15-Jan-20 17:16:14

Good post MOnica.
I would love to be living in a small village here in the UK with more facilities. But we couldn't afford it - rural France was so much cheaper. Especially out in the boondocks.

grannypiper Wed 15-Jan-20 17:36:23

I moved in my late 40s from the shires to S.W rural Scotland, best move i ever made but i know that by my late 60s i willl have to move into a town, where that will be i havent decided, maybe Scotland. maybe England, but i will have had 20 years of rural bliss

ALANaV Wed 15-Jan-20 18:20:40

I have lived in Suffolk villages (as a child) ...no transport ...3 mile walk in all weathers to nearest facilites. Then in London where I worked, then Cambridge ...good, transport, country on doorstep …..thence to the Midlands ...a largeish town with good facilities...then to Spain ….nearest shop 12km away no transport on my island ….then to W France in a village near a largeish tow...then to a commune (not as in a hippy commune ha ha) with no transport, no shops...SO I chose to move to the N E of England when my husband died ...amazing ! THERE IS LIFE ! there is shopping, marvellous concerts, lots of things to do ….swimming, walking along the prom ...walking in the beautiful Northumberland countryside, beaches, coasts, cafes, banks, post offices, an international airport (for visiting friends in Germany and France), a ferry to Amsterdam, a cruise line from the Tyne Dock...the metro that gets you to the City, the town, anywhere and everywhere ….lots of choices of transport, and so many taxi firms the prices are competitive ...a really excellent health service with four of five Universities, some excellent health research Fellow …...and if I want, I can get a train and go to the deeper countryside, or London (I lived in Derby, too ...around 20 mins drive from Baslow ...this was lovely, with walks in the Peaks and Chatsworth on the doorstep ….and then when I can't manage any more, some CQC highly rated care homes ….or Dignitas ...No way would I chose to live in the countryside,,,,saw too many problems for the elderly in my little French commune ;;unlike the UK there were not many things to join for the elderly ….which is why most of them were still driving when they really should not have been ...no choice ! Very few taxis, and with the town 14 km away a taxi cost E30 each way …...but, having said that, why not rent for a month before you sell up and see what you feel like ! OR buy in a town and buy a mobile home (some are lovely) in the countryside ….or a camper van of which there were thousands around in France in summer (pain in the neck ! ha ha)….

Franbern Wed 15-Jan-20 18:32:46

My sister-in-law always told me how she wanted to live in the country. Got her wish a few years back, when she and hubbie sold their beautiful North London chalet bungalow with office in back garden and moved out to Suffolk. They were both in their very
early 70's. Nice house, and although there are plenty of other houses nearby, that is all. Ispwich is about 11 miles away, and there are no shops in their village. One bus service, which run about three times a day, and nearest bus stop nearly a mile away. My BiL even has to use his car to get his Sunday newspaper.
She has come to hate it there, and spend two or three days each week in London, to see her daughter and one of her g.sons. She admitted to me recently that she does not like the country ('Too quiet, too dark). These are the things she always felt she wanted.
At the moment both still drive, although since being there, both have had problems at times with that. My BiL has made some sort of life there as he has always been very involved in Bowls. My SiL has not settled at all.
Talking of Bowls - you do need to be reasonably fit to do this sport. I tried out at a club just round the corner when I moved. Loved it, but could not do it. My back was too painful and my COPD kicked in. Am now a social member of that club.
I moved recently from a house in a East London suburb, to my flat in a somerset seaside town. Am loving it. Block of flats is close to town centre and everything is so close. I use my mobility scooter to go to beach, high street shops, cinemas, local theatre, etc. Bus stop right outside of the flats, toiwn has hospital and GP surgery is close by as is dentist, optician, etc.
I have one more year before I reach 80 and although my driving seems quite safe, not sure if I will be able to afford the increase which will come for the insurance. Since I have been here, only use the car very occasionally.
Do not think moving into the country is wise for most older people, always amazes me on 'Escape to the Country' to see people in their late 50's and 60' loving large properties with lots of land, which will take masses of looking after, and often with many steps and stairs, and usually some miles from buses and trains. They are not future proofing at all

Fennel Wed 15-Jan-20 18:35:56

ALANaV - je comprends!
And relevant to that, la langue!

SalsaQueen Wed 15-Jan-20 19:33:48

I live in the suburbs of a big city, and everything is nearby - doctor's, dentist, leisure centre, 4 of the main supermarkets, library, loads of shops. They're all in walking distance, although I drive.

I would find the countryside too quiet and isolating.

twiglet77 Wed 15-Jan-20 20:01:59

I live in a rural location now, well out of the village with my only neighbours even older than I am. There is virtually no public transport so we're dependent on cars.

I don't know if I will ever move but I think the ideal is to live within walking distance of a nice market town, with a GP's surgery, library, post office and chemist in town, and with a hospital easily accessible by bus.

Hetty58 Wed 15-Jan-20 20:23:21

Cabs can be expensive but, if you reach the point where you no longer drive, the expense of running a car can be taken into account. Everyone seems to underestimate how much it costs (insurance, tax, petrol, MOT, maintenance and depreciation) because they don't really want to think about it. When I broke my ankle I took cabs everywhere but it still only cost about £60 per week.

MissAdventure Wed 15-Jan-20 20:26:34

I'm convinced I'm a country girl, trapped on a housing estate.
I'm really discontent living amongst traffic, and noise and mess, but people here are very friendly and I love random chats with strangers.

TrendyNannie6 Wed 15-Jan-20 20:35:12

We have lived in towns cities and villages I don’t really have a preference as long as I don’t have to travel too far to the main shops, as long as there are good public transport links it doesn’t really matter much to me

Cotswoldslass Wed 15-Jan-20 20:43:35

We moved about 4 years ago from a busy market town in South Buckinghamshire to a smallish village in NW Oxfordshire and we have never regretted it. It took us 6 months of going out at weekends and driving around to find the ideal village (we had quite a large area to cover as we wanted to move to the Cotswolds) and then 2 years to find the house in the village. I had a long list of wants - village not to large, shop, doctors surgery and on a bus route but not on a main road, so it wasn't an easy brief to fulfil...we found out that the village even has a dentist and a library (were I ended up volunteering). We were in our late 60s so now 71 and have settled in and made many friends, become involved in the village and absolutely love it here. Villages like this do exist, they just take some finding!! We weren't fussy about the type of house however the reason why we took so long to find one was that people just don't want to move out of the village. I have not found being more mature is a block to moving and making new friends, people seem to be more friendly in the country...whatever you choose I wish you all the very best of luck and hope you find your perfect place!

GrammaH Wed 15-Jan-20 21:13:34

I'm 61 and DH is 68. We own a farm in the middle of the countryside which we now rent out but we still live in the farmhouse. At the moment, when we can both still drive, it's easy to get to our county town about half an hour's drive away and we do have a few shops & the doctors closer. However, the country lanes are narrow & very busy these days, plus likely to flood or fill with snow in the winter. We are now considering the exact opposite to OP - a move right into town where we can walk to everything and use public transport. We don't need the huge garden we have here - I too am shocked by older people on Escape to the Country buying huge houses with massive gardens. We're not ready for a flat or a warden controlled dwelling but we'd definitely downsize both our house & garden. I can't imagine a townsperson looking to move to the country after having all facilities on tap. On a flippant note, I'd like to be able to keep my car mud free - some chance in the country!

Lilyflower Thu 16-Jan-20 06:15:38

If you move from a high value area, OP, to a lower one or even trade up to a bigger house in a lower priced place , you might not be able to afford to move back if it doesn’t work out. Moving fees, too, are monstrous these days so you wouldn’t want to pay them twice.

My in laws moved from Sussex to a village up north to go from a semi to a huge bungalow. It was a disaster. They never fitted in and, when they had a chance to return south they missed it because they were fearful of moving all their accumulated possessions.

My DH and I live in what looks like a village surrounded by trees and fields. However we have a post office/shop, have (albeit infrequent) buses and are on the doorstep of some large towns. We can hear distant traffic most of the time and nearby Heathrow planes can be heard outside in the summer. We drive everywhere and have shopping delivered. The upside is that the area seems very rural and we can go for country walks and look at green all the time.

What about a large village in the north, or a small and pretty town with amenities? Try to get the best of all worlds if you move. Or stay put and learn to love the south despite its madding crowds.

Lizzie52 Thu 16-Jan-20 07:07:45

We used to live in a very busy town in Hampshire. As my health deteriorated I lost my independence and became quite housebound. No longer able to venture far, I would often not see a soul for days apart from my husband when he was not working. Everyone seemed to have busy lives and no one knew their neighbours.
A few years ago we decided to move to the country, but not in a remote area, instead we are on a small ‘development’. We are about 5 mins drive from a couple of vibrant villages and quarter of an hour from a couple of larger towns,
It was the best move we’ve ever made. Still very unwell I’m no longer lonely. In Hampshire hardly anyone knew their neighbours but here it is a real community. People pop round, they hold get togethers, everyone knows each other.
Wonderful caring health service here too. Instead of seeing a different GP every time, I see the same doc, even the receptionist is friendly!
Don’t give up the dream!

craftyone Thu 16-Jan-20 07:37:25

Grammah, I am 11 years older than you and exactly at your age we moved to a somerset village. We had lots of energy still, I got an allotment and my husband got involved in hobbies, in groups with other people. He died in 2015 and suddenly I was left in this village in a house that dh loved more than me, no0one to bring me cups of tea and many a time I was the only person on the allotment

My eyes got floaters and I got scared about deteriorating eyesight and managing a lime render and wood house, lime is fragile and I had to do a substantial mend on the render in 2016. The tiered garden had 2 sets of wooden steps now showing signs of deterioration as were the wooden garden retaining walls

So I moved and cannot help but wish this move had happened when I was 61, when dh could have done all those bits to make a house a home. I would have moved to the same market town but now at 71 I decided that I needed to move to a maintenance free new build. I was very lucky and have the perfect well built house and am working on a potager garden. Moving here at 61 would have been so much more sensible. What I am saying is that I wish we had looked ahead and had made that final move at 61. 71 was do-able but it gets increasingly difficult with age

Witzend Thu 16-Jan-20 16:50:56

Re the cost of running a car vs. taxis - when my mother became nervous about driving and gave up her car at about 80, I reminded her repeatedly about how many taxis she’d be able to take with all the money saved on petrol, insurance, servicing and MOTs.

Did she ever take one?
No, because in her head they were still an unwarranted extravagance.
It was a thousand pities, since she left the house less and less.

patcaf Thu 16-Jan-20 17:59:19

We moved 3 years ago from a large town to the rural Irish countryside. No buses, trains or taxis so you need to drive everywhere. Nearest town is 15 miles away. Hospital over an hour by ambulance. No street lights so gets dark very quickly. We already know that at some point we will need to move to the town for doctors , hospitals , services etc.

It is absolutely wonderful from May to September as we have 3 beaches within walking distance and there are lots of holiday makers and our children and friends come to visit. Plenty of festivals to go to etc. Come the winter everything closes down. People seem to hunker down in their houses over winter although all the clubs still operate if you can drive.

So you need to think about your health, ability to drive (really need two cars) , can you cope during the winter months , are you OK as a couple on your own a lot of the time. If you are fine with all that then it is a wonderful experience for 5 to 10 years but at some point you will need facilities and services much nearer home and will have to move.

Fennel Thu 16-Jan-20 18:46:48

Very sensible post, patcaf.
I think we maybe left it too late to leave, and underestimated the problems of selling up and moving. But you put these things off when you're older.

harrigran Thu 16-Jan-20 19:03:45

We have a home in Cumbria which we are in the process of selling, we could have lived there permanently in retirement but decided against it. The nearest hospital, with not a very good track record, is too far away in an emergency. Several of our neighbours haven't survived after heart attacks.
We have decided to live on the outskirts of a city where we are within walking distance of a bus stop and half a mile from two supermarkets. The nearest hospital is ten minutes away.

Magrithea Sat 18-Jan-20 15:15:28

We spent the first 20 years of our married life in Hong Kong, so city living, and moved back to UK and have spent the last 18 and a half living in a small hamlet which we love!

My parents always said they'd move to Southampton when my Dad retired (he was born there and they met there) but when it came to it they didn't as they were too well established where my Mum still lives.

I do feel that you need to be careful what you wish for, the grass isn't always greener!

Sara65 Sat 18-Jan-20 16:01:39

When I see programs such as Escape to the Country, I wonder if half of them have ever thought it through.

We’ve always lived in villages, our children were brought up with a huge amount of freedom they probably wouldn’t have now, we’ve had very good neighbors over the years, and a good support system.

But, I’ve probably driven thousands and thousands of miles getting the children to various schools, all around narrow, winding lanes, treacherous in the winter. We had one bus a week, on a Wednesday. One village shop selling absolute essentials only.

No school, two pubs, one for the posh end, one for the locals!
Car constantly caked with mud in the winter, and forever reversing miles for giant tractors to pass you in summer.
I wouldn’t change it, there are lots of advantages, but probably not a brilliant move in later life.

JuliaM Sat 18-Jan-20 17:55:08

My Dad has lived in the countryside for the past 25years, which was fine whilst he was active and could drive his car, but increasingly with age, hes become more and more dependent on others to remain there. The Gp surgery is run on part time hours, the local bus service went into recievership last year through lack of use, the local shop is a walk across a field away, with no footpath along the busy main road with its 50mph speed limit and heavy haulage traffic to access the shop safely. The decision to move him away from his home and into a care home came after he had a nasty fall, and it took the emergency services 5 hours to get to him, due to flooding in the surrounding areas. The final blow was when the care agency responsible for his care in the community withdrew their cover to the entire area, on the grounds of increasing travel costs and lack of workers living in the local area. Moving into a care home and learning a whole new routine amongst people who are virtual strangers has been very difficult and confusing for him he keeps asking me to take him back home, but home for him in such a remote and unsupported area is no longer a safe option, and being disabled myself, there is no way l could carry on looking after him myself, as much as l would like to.