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Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 4

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Sun 15-Mar-20 12:56:00

Links to the first three threads

www.gransnet.com/forums/house_and_home/1271200-Help-calm-me-house-buying-and-selling-stress-Part-3

thread number 4

SueH49 Wed 25-Mar-20 22:50:25

Sorry about the result of your auction Shandy. I know how stressful and disappointing this is for you. Can you negotiate with the highest bidder and try for more? Here, the highest bidder has first right to negotiate after the property is passed in and frequently an agreement comes from that negotiation.

When we sold at auction last year the price we finally accepted was several hundred thousand below what we had hoped to get and what the agents had said we should get. At the end of the day we decided the highest bid at the auction was the best the market was supporting. Thus we cut our losses, so to speak, and accepted the price. After the time we had already spent on the project we really had reached a point where we had had enough and just wanted it all to be over. The price we did accept was below our reserve as well but it did make our absolute minimum (it had to start with a 4)

You are the only one that can decide what to do, what to accept and how long you hang out for and doing it by yourself is hard. Your children are old enough to be able to support you at this time and be constructive in their help.

The problem is that as things are now we don't know what will happen to the property market. I'm afraid that I don't think there are going to be any shining knights in armor coming from London to buy up property at a premium, or even realistic price. As I see it you have the choice of making this offer work for you and getting on with your life or refusing it and hanging on to what appears to be a millstone around your neck.

Fingers crossed you can manage to get an acceptable agreement from this auction.

Shandy57 Wed 25-Mar-20 23:58:16

Thank you SueH49.

First Brexit, now this, it has been going on for far too long. sad I can't even remember what I did before putting the house on the market. A horrible eighteen months of cleaning and anxiety, so many people have been in and my house is all over the internet. I'm now left living half in the cottage, half in the house and I don't want to be in either.

The auctioneer didn't phone me back to discuss it, when I rang someone said they would email him. I didn't ask the right questions when he rang to tell me it would be an on line auction, I didn't know it started at 9 am this morning. I didn't expect people to bid so much less than the guide price, I was shocked to see the first bid of £200K.

I eventually sent a message through the 'chat' feature on the website saying I wouldn't accept the offer, and could I be entered into the April auction. Think I've burnt my boats with this one, unfortunately, I feel very unhappy. I found it particularly creepy that the bad buyer I rejected from xmas/new year went to view the house with them, why did he arrange a viewing knowing he couldn't get a mortgage. It hasn't been a good experience.

Thanks for writing. I'm in a horrible situation and feel I've mismanaged it all, one way or another, it's gone from bad to worse.

Take care smile

SueH49 Thu 26-Mar-20 01:50:56

Shandy, I find it very interesting that the auctioneer has not taken the time to discuss this with you. They want a sale at the end of the day. It may be different in England but here property auctions are organized by real estate agents who hire an auctioneer to conduct the auction. They use the auction - usually live ones - to garner competition between the bidders and they do put pressure on people to bid. They don't just walk away at the end of the auction if it does not sell. They break their necks to get a sale at auction because it is an unconditional sale. If not sold at auction then they will negotiate with the highest bidder and if they get nowhere with them they go onto the other bidders. They are predators. A lot of our properties are sold at auction, there are several each week and are mostly held on the property.

It is also the auctioneer or agents job to make sure you are well aware of the procedure and times etc. I was surprised when I saw the bidders on the link you posted because it did not fit in with your time frame. This is where you need your children to help out. To talk to people with you and to give another pair of eyes and ears on what is said. Then you can talk it over with them at a later time with all of you having been a party to the conversations.

As hard as it may be you do need to let go of the emotional hold your property has on you before you can really move on.

We ended up accepting almost 1 million $'s less than we had been led to believe we would sell for. That is a lot of money but we decided we had to let go and take what we had.

There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better but regardless of that I hope you will get an acceptable result very soon. Take care.

Framilode Thu 26-Mar-20 06:10:14

I am worried that the property market will grind to a complete halt during the virus and the recession that will undoubtedly follow. I am with the others, a bird in the hand etc....You can then move on Shandy and start a new life which you desperately need to do.

I am really sorry, but not totally surprised in the present climate, that you didn't get the figure you wanted, but will April be any better.

Whiff Thu 26-Mar-20 06:31:14

Shandy57 don't suppose you slept very well last night. If I were you I would get in touch with the auction house. Nicely asked why they didn't get back to you. I know it's a lot less than you wanted but it's time to let go. You have said many a time how you are struggling money wise. Accept the offer. In a months time you may not get a single bid. The Coronavirus is not going to go away soon. And people will be tightening their belt. At least you can put the money into an account and then start looking for your forever home. Just have to be more realistic what you want and need. Don't feel you have to give your children any of the money. They are adults and need to stand on their own 2 feet. And to be honest from what you have written over the months they have not been a lot of help. Know that is harsh but think that is what Franbern , Craftyone and others have been trying to tell you. You have to put yourself and your needs first. Time to think of number one and for once be selfish. I had to do that and my children told me it was about time. As they are adults and proud of me for finally seeing the light.

If you think I am being horrible I'm not just honest. Twice a week I talk to a friend of mine in the Midlands. Tore a strip off her last night. She has been going out everyday mixing with people. Doesn't watch the news or listen to the radio. Thought it was only certain people could get the Coronavirus. Told her how stupid and irresponsible she's being. She has relatives in Italy they have been telling what's been going on still she had blinkers on. Promised me to stay in.

A work colleague of my nephew said to him the Coronavirus is made up he went ballistic. He works in food production and the works have had to issue all staff with a permit so if they get stopped by the police he can prove he has a reason for travelling to work. He also told me thete are pubs still open. Police having to waste time shutting them down. Can't remember what part of the country it's happened but hospital workers have been mugged for their ID so people can use them to get in the shops first. The majority of people are wonderful and going out of there way to do acts of kindness. But there is a growing number of greedy selfish ones. It's not just confined to any age group or walk of life.

There had my rant.

Stay safe and well you wonderful people on this thread.

craftyone Thu 26-Mar-20 07:29:21

I don`t think all is lost for shandy but shandy you need to be very pro-active now. Get straight back to the auction house and tell them you will accept the final bid. It might be too late for that, he may have moved on. The way things are going now you would be lucky to get 195 in april

Whiff, so true, I 100% agree, that took courage to say

Whiff Thu 26-Mar-20 07:48:16

To be honest I took a leaf out of yours and Franbern's book. You are both straight forward nonsense women would I admire greatly.

Ellianne Thu 26-Mar-20 07:56:32

I'm sensing this is a time for everyone to voice their true feelings, not due to anger but to save others from harm in all ways.
Shandy it was a big disappointment for you yesterday. You have two options, either to sell it now to the bidder or to face ongoing worry and expenditure. You will know which path to take and I agree you must do what is right for YOU and you alone.
In a similar way my husband was due to receive his pension pot in April and we are now £100,000 worse off in retirement. Life will be hard, none of the treats we'd planned, but best not to think about it when in the big picture of things spring is everywhere and life goes on. Sometimes being philosophical helps, Shandy, just be strong enough to get yourself to your goal.

Ellianne Thu 26-Mar-20 08:03:07

Sorry Whiff to laugh at your post that crafty and Franbern are nonsense women!! ?

Framilode Thu 26-Mar-20 08:06:51

Ellianne We too have suffered a loss in our pension plan. We had draw down for 10 years with L&G and they don't do this after age 75. We had to find another provider and did this a month ago. Obviously our pension pot is now worth a LOT less because of the stock market and we have had to stop taking an income from it. This will make a very big difference to us. If we had stuck the money in the bank it would have been better. Hindsight, eh.

craftyone Thu 26-Mar-20 08:55:32

Mmmm, I own up, I used to trade the stock market, at one time I had 3 flashing graphical screens. I stopped after my husband died and I lay low, I started by trading ukx and the dow, fast and furious, then I only did stocks. Sold high and bought low, never being a sheep or following the herd. I cashed all the stocks and I started to buy gilts 18 months ago, I was 95% invested in gilts by 8 months ago. They give me a steady safe income and are safe.

Doing stocks and TA (technical analysis) I learnt early on to cut losses and forget about it, I did and 2006 we sacked the financial advisor and I took over managing the main pension, I had full written authority and no trail charge, it cost about £100 a year. I. FA wanted many many k per year. Between 2006 and 2015, I vested the pension and husband received the 25% cash free, which I saved in various places, this enabled me to buy this house with some added to that from the sipp. He died at age 67 and it was prior to him being 75 and just at that time, legislation came in that allowed a sipp pension to be inherited tax free and withdrawn tax free. I inherited it and my 3 and my 3 dgc will inherit mine, whatever is in there

So after vesting the pension, I increased the pension pot severalfold, in spite of withdrawing a good income between 2006 and 2015

I started writing just now because some are worried about pensions. Sit tight, it will go up again in time, try not to drawdown because stocks have to be sold ar rock bottom prices

So yet another part of me and something I wanted to say to shandy, sometimes you just have to cut losses in order to survive, otherwise it just keeps plummeting

Greta8 Thu 26-Mar-20 09:01:54

Shandy Just wondering how you are this morning? I don't contribute regularly to this thread but just wanted to add my perspective on this. Presumably you have slept on it - how are you feeling this morning. All is not yet lost - but the time to act is today if you want to rescue the situation. Yes, it's a lot less money than you were expecting, but it's a bird in the hand - it gets you away from all the stress and worry. You are in a no-mans-land with the station and your rental and it cannot be good for either your physical or mental health (sorry, stating the obvious here). I would get onto the auction house and see if they can nudge up the highest offer - if they can't I would accept it. You can then move on with your life. Think about what your husband would say - he wouldn't want you to continue to suffer in this way. As for your children, of course we as mothers all want to protect and help them, but they are adults now. We are in a different place - my personal opinion is that property prices will drop massively soon - you need to get your home sold as a priority. Nothing is going to change by the April auction - indeed it will probably be worse. Sorry I know this all sounds harsh - but I have followed this thread and I have total admiration for you and your great strength. But you're an intelligent woman, surely you can see you need to take this offer? The agents will be keen to deal, you certainly haven't anything to lose by getting on the phone today and try to get it sorted.

Warmest wishes, Shandy.

craftyone Thu 26-Mar-20 09:10:28

ps, trading was not my job, it was a hobby as well as spinning, allotment etc. Women can make good traders, more objective than many men. technical analysis is trading via charting ie lots of graphs and they gave signals to buy or sell or hold, I had real time trading graphs and was once asked to go on a course to become a technical analyst. Not for me, never trading other people`s money

I don`t have on-screen graphs any more and don`t trade any more, I had to become risk averse hence the gilts. They mature at various dates, last one being in 2042 and by then the currant sipp value will have gone down a good bit as the gilts are very high right now and they will eventually reach redemption value. At one time I traded gilts but now need stability and a set income. Everything in my sipp is tax free, including accumulating income, because that sipp was my husbands and passed to me. I am not drawing down, being careful because who knows what the future holds

Franbern Thu 26-Mar-20 09:16:13

Nobody, could ever have forecast the effect that this pandemic would have (and, will continue to have) financially. We will all be paying for its effect for several decades in the future. 'Normality' as we knew it is unlikely to return completely. We do just have to accept that. There could be some positives, less flights as people take holidays at home and companies realise that meetings, etc can be held on-line. Less money to spend on consumables will mean people will re-learn how to make do and mend. Less money to spend on what is likely to be increasingly expensive food stuffs, should mean less food waste.
I notice that there are no shortage of choc easter eggs in any of the supermarkets. suppose people are not really thinking of that at present, but I am also concerned that there is going to be a big increase in obesity problems (particularly amongst children and young people) with them actually now being encouraged to stay on their computers, phones etc. Whereas some parents will also supervise daily exercise regimes, many will not and will try to keep them happy with more sweeties, etc.
Shandy, you have not commented on mine or any of the other advice to you. We ALL - say you should accept the offer of the highest bidder - and do that immediately, before they find something else. No time for dithering at the moment - it is time for quick and hard decisions. My Lovely flat cost much less than £235,000. I know you have a garden for your pets. But this should be ample for you to purchase a small, easy to run and maintain property in your area. You need to gird your loins, take a deep breath and GO FOR IT. Phone the auctioneer and accept that offer.
It really does not matter in the slightest who actually came to view The Station, last thing to get hung up on is who did that and why. Think it is relevant that the person who paid for the survey did NOT bid - you have to accept that the cost of necessary repairs there is going to seriously effect the price of the property. Accept it - move on- go with the person who wants it now!!!
Sue, glad to hear you are settling into your rental. You should be in a strong position for purchase as you will be a cash buyer (Shandy - this will also apply to you if you now sell and have the cash in the bank) - I suppose all viewings are now virtual - but at least anyone in a good position to buy can start to look around.
Must say I am breathing several big sighs of relief that I did make my move last year - even though I, like others, sold at less than I would have originally have expected for my house. One of my children (the one who live closest) was originally very angry at the price at which I marketed the house and had quite a go at me. I insisted that my main purpose was to sell - and I proved so right, had lots of viewers, a good number of offers, and although the sale fell through twice, each time was able to accept a new offer within days each time. I ensured I had enough money to make the purchase I wanted (with just half of the sale money and all related costs to that). So pleased I did.
Come on Shandy - you know we are all giving you good advice, be so pleased to hear from you that you have accepted the offer and The Station is sold.

craftyone Thu 26-Mar-20 09:51:11

peace of mind and a better world to come

Shandy57 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:03:42

Morning all - I have tried to contact the elusive auctioneer this morning and yet again someone has had to email him.

I spoke to my friend, who like you, recommended I do a cash life plan to see what I need to live on.

I asked if he would negotiate with the buyer to see if he would increase his offer. I asked about viewings and the young lady said no viewings would happen now, to go up to the house and film a walk through.

Shandy57 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:26:05

Got through and today apparently is the day all the negotation s take place, so all is not lost yet.

craftyone Thu 26-Mar-20 10:29:55

Thank goodness shandy, we are so deeply worried about you, this heavy blanket over you needs to lift fast. Thank you for staying in touch here

Grammaretto Thu 26-Mar-20 10:32:59

I'm glad to hear it Shandy and the other thing to remember is that your next house will be cheaper too as it's a buyer's market.

Shandy57 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:42:56

No call yet sad

I have been driving my dog to my secret beach - I'm not going to go anymore. I was the only car there yesterday. A Kent man has been stopped by the police and told all exercise must happen from the home, not be driven to.

Just got a text from the landlord checking I was OK, how nice.

Ellianne Thu 26-Mar-20 10:55:08

Good for you Shandy, don't lose momentum now.

Yes, here in the west country police are stopping people driving out to exercise. Exercise should be done at home or anywhere you can walk to. We go to a field round the corner from us and the number of cars turning up has diminished dramatically. Except for one stupid woman who parks up with her folding chair and sits right by the gate where everyone passes throwing balls for her two dogs.

Dottygran59 Thu 26-Mar-20 11:13:23

Shandy, meant to post yesterday but have had all on at work as they are closing this site on Friday (I am the only one working here - all my colleagues are WFH - I can't cos don't have a company laptop), so need to get everything sorted before then.

I too was gutted that you didn't get even your guide price, this pandemic is affecting everything - daren't look at my pension forecast, no chance of retiring at 66 now - sigh

Back to you, love, as usual your wise and caring friends on here have advised you just as I would - take the money and run. Hunker down and see out this pandemic and by the time we come out of the other side you will have, or be in the process of, getting your forever home. Stick the money in the bank, stay in the rental for a bit and watch the house prices plummet.

I hear that all new mortgage offers have to have a 40% deposit, so as a cash buyer you will have a real advantage.

It's only money - I know that we've all worked so hard, saving for our old age only to watch it being decimated, but as long as we are all here and well in 6 months time, that's the most important thing

Franbern Thu 26-Mar-20 11:15:22

In Weston they have closed all the car parks by the beach. If you are in walking distance of it, okay to use it to walk your dog, etc. but not to drive to. I had thought of taking my car out for a drive just along one junction of the motorway and back again- but now know that is not really permitted. So, it will just have to sit in the garage for the time being. Will still use it for its weekly run to Sainsbury's.
Do hope to hear some good news from you, Shandy, and that that last bidder does want to go ahead. Had a quick look at properties in Northumberland and the prices there can only be dreamt off for buyers in the South - you should easily be able to purchase (particularly as a cash buyer at the present time) a nice little, easy to run house and have enough over to do any re-furnishing, etc necessary

craftyone Thu 26-Mar-20 13:34:54

food is topsey turvey now, I am having small meals but at more frequent intervals and sometimes soup for breakfast, waste not want not mode. Maybe this is more natural for me

I have been busy cycling from the house, not long but faster and a more strenuous gear so I got more out of breath quicker. Soon after that I made a carrot cage to stop carrot root fly, sewing machine job on slippery fine mesh, all done and up and ready to use. My greenhouse glass back and fittings have just arrived, I hope to get that done today so I have somewhere for my 100+ plug plants to rest. They may arrive tomorrow. This dry weather is such a blessing right now

Oopsadaisy3 Thu 26-Mar-20 13:54:14

Shandy sadly all good advice on here from people who care about you.
In the recession when Margaret Thatcher was PM our house which was valued at £380,000 sold for £180,000, we were left with £5k, business down the pan as well, so no work, but It was no use crying about it, we had to pull up our bootstraps and get on with it, now that house is worth over a million pounds, but there you go, we couldn’t keep it and no one could get mortgage to buy it, the purchasers had sold their parents homes as well as their own and paid cash for it and the parents moved in with them ( it was a big house)
In the end it was a relief that they wanted it, because nobody else did.
So, time to move on and close the door on it.
However flowers because it is hard for you

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