Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 4

Ooooh can I have a hud please, Sue? Special Ozzy cuddle. Whiff I so get it. Shouting at the gate to kids and grandkids is bloody awful. And FaceTiming just makes me miss them more. My garden feels so empty without the grandkids enjoying it, as do my arms. 2020 has been shite so far. Love you all us GN friends. WE CAN DO THIS

Whiff I’m glad you are feeling restored! Thank goodness for GN, feel like true friends here. I like imagining everybody’s homes and gardens.
Bit disappointed Sue...thought a hud was something special down under!

Whiff, I'm sending you a hug not a hud!

I can not thank you all enough for your kind messages. It means such at lot to me having friends like you all. And thank you for missing me . Spent 2.5 hours weeding the garden this morning. Had 6 bags of compost and other things delivered yesterday. My local hardware and garden shop isn't open but taking on line orders. I've ordered a load of plants and seeds from Thompson and Morgan which will arrive in a couple of weeks. Made plans of where I want to expand some paving to make it safer for me to move around. But still give me plenty of planting room.

My friend from U3A completed on the purchase of her house yesterday and got the keys. Her furniture is being moved in on Wednesday. It's been in storage since September.

Shandy57 I will remember to re send birthday wishes tomorrow.

Franbern glad you managed to sort out your car insurance.

Niobe gave me a chuckle about Whitney.

Stay safe dear friends.

I c

Slight panic this morning, when I realised that my car insurance policy expired at midday today. I had bought and paid for a new one with a different company couple of weeks ago, but had not received any documents. Of course, they are all on line these days. Could not find how to print off my new certificate, used the typed help line and finally managed it.
Technology can be great, but......my family decided to set up a Zoom link for the whole family for Easter Sunday. They have sent me link and detailed instructions, hope I can join in this,

Oh Whiff it is not self indulgent to open up about how you are feeling. Please don’t feel ashamed. A big squishy hud heading your way from “Downunder”

Sorry Shandy,not birthday today - but would still recommend Cake, a little bit every day.
Oh dear, 63 sounds so young to me......I worked until just a couple of months prior to my 70th birthday, and even continued with some gymnastics work for another couple fo years. I was 62 yrs old when I moved into my last house, selling the big family house.
I found that difficult - but nowhere near as bad as it was last year. I do not think that selling and buying property later in life is to be recommended. If possible, future proof your purchase when in your sixties.
Mind you, I thought I had done this, my house had been made in a way I thought was suitable for my old age. Apart from the stairs, it was fine - did have to pay for a gardener, even though small garden.
We do change. Even five years ago when I first started to think about moving to a flat, I would then only look at ground floor flats, preferably with a small garden area. This time round, I wanted first floor - nice balcony but no garden. Did not want to go higher, even though views are so much better there, as always that concern of being 'flatbound' in event of lift breaking down. Well, that particular problem seems rather silly now as I am largely flat-bound.
It is difficult to know exactly what will be right for us at different ages. 62 years old, 74 yrs old, 78 yrs old and I wanted/needed different things.
Just hope that I have got it right now....as there is no way I am ever going to move again.

Sorry “you are not whiny “ . Don’t know who Whitney is or how she butted in

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANDY......May you have double celebrations next year!!! But cake is good on birthdays - do make or get some and enjoy.
Whiff......so glad you finally felt able to come back and talk to us. We are all in the process of grieving at present, grieving for what should have been our lives at present. So, we all have these times of feeling extremely down and weepy -nothing to be at ashamed about. Indeed, able to get rid of some of the angst with tears can be very beneficial to our mental health. That is how I was yesterday, could not stop bursting into tears all the time. Feeling much better this morning. But I know there will be other days like that.
It is difficult, more so because we do not want to impose the knowledge that we are in a bad way on AC who are having their own problems at present.
In the past, had I had a weepy day I would have contacted my daughter nearby and she would have popped round and an hour with her and a cuddle and I would have been much better. Obviously, unable to do that.
So, this thread has taken the place of that. We are all here for each other, in the same way we were during those horrific days of selling, etc.
Must say just had a pm on here from a GNetter that was part of our local meet-up letting me know of a local garden centre which is still delivering compost,plants, etc. So kind of her to take the time to let me know that, so perhaps I may be able to have some real flowers on my balcony this year.
Keep strong everyone, each new day takes us that much closer to the end of these lockdown times.

whiff, you spoke human words, words from a loving caring person who has known great happiness, then the rug was whipped away and lately it has happened again. That comfortable feeling of being safe and stable and happy, it has gone, all of a sudden the rug has been pulled again and you have said what most of us feel, in spite of a brave face, it is there inside us

Morning all.

Big hugs Whiff, I was wondering where you were. Thanks for the birthday wishes, it's tomorrow, not that the day will be any different. It's a landmark birthday for me as I'm going to be 63, the same age as when my husband died - he was four years older than me. I've had two more years of life than you, and not made the most of it, this lockdown has shown me I need to lighten up and start having a lot more fun.

I'm not surprised you had a meltdown over missing your loving family, don't suffer on your own again, come on here and talk to us. You are a very kind and practical friend, I have really appreciated the emotional support and common sense advice you have given me during my nightmare sale. This isolation is truly difficult and people I know from the next village have died, we are living through a terrifying time. It's obviously going to get worse, who is going to have to go into these huge Nightingale hospitals. Poor Boris, I hope he survives - but he could die. His words 'prepare to lose loved ones' did chill me. It's been a hard couple of weeks seeing society behaving so badly by not social distancing. Around here people are now experiencing theft, milk being pinched off the doorsteps, a local garage has been broken into, thieves entered through the roof.

We will all get through this together. Take care everyone xx

This horrible disease affects us all and it has affected your life Whiff.
The isolation is different from anything we've known.
When you described being so physically close to your family but unable to hug them, it made me cry!
You are strong and have proved it. You will come out the other side (probably better words!) even stronger.

You have always cheered me up. Now you need some cheering. As I wrote , somewhere, (on the lockdown thread possibly) it is hard to be the recipient of kindness when you have always been the giver.

Whiff you are not Whitney at all, you have been, and continue to be, one of the bravest people I know. You have been through so much and yet you are a source of good cheer and friendship to many via this thread.
Be kind to yourself

Oh Whiff, so pleased you shared that with us and certainly no one thinks badly of you. Of course you are not the only one feeling like this, but to you it hurts so so much and you needed that time to process what is happening in your life. Remember we all came together during our moves and that in itself is recognised as a very stressful time, after bereavement at the top of the list. We all coped admirably with EAs, auctioneers, solicitors, removal companies etc. ..... pat on the back to all of us. It is no wonder we all share the same angst at this time, but we will all cope together somehow and we will be there for each other. Take care!

Shandy57 did you mention it was your birthday the other day on the 7 if so happy birthday. Try and enjoy your day and give yourself a treat.

Didn't feel like I could post after reading some of your messages. Franbern sorry about the lose of your friend and of course your son's anniversary. Grammaretto when you said you had the letter I assumed it was dreadful news. And Sandy having all the worries about the contents of your house . What I was going through seemed so trivial and self indulgent.

I'm on a thread on another forum so poured out my woes there.

Glad to say yesterday I finely felt back to normal. And can now tell you what happened. Like many in isolation I thought I could cope easily with it as I have always been content with my own company. Since my husband died I have felt lonely but for him never lonely because I am on my own. Until Thursday when I felt so lonely I just cried wickley self indulgent I know. This feeling of being utter alone just swamped me. 16 years I've been on my own and never felt anything like it. Couldn't talk to the children about it as I just couldn't understand why now after all these years. Just made light if it and they said go out for a walk tomorrow. So went out early Friday morning to my local park. Talked to some people at a distance and was out for 90 mins felt better. But as soon as I got home it hit me again. Had video play dates with grandsons which helped but as soon as it was over. Back came the feeling again. Saturday no better so I attacked the garden until exhausted . Saw my daughter and family on Sunday but 6' apart they got me some bread. My son in law got out a couple of plants I couldn't move. My grandson was in the buggy . To keep our distance. Sunday finally admitted to both kids how I was feeling. Rightly so pointed out I'm not the only one feeling this way. Anyway. Yesterday morning woke you feeling my usual self glad to say. Never will I let myself become that self indulgent pity me creature.

I have thought long and hard why I let it happen. When I lived in the Midlands didn't see the family for months which was fine didn't bother me. But since moving my whole life changed saw the family weekly had my classes and went out and about when I wanted. Then nothing. We are a family who kiss and cuddle and not having no physical contact didn't realise how hard that would be to go without. Seeing them and not touching has been harder than I thought.

You can see why I haven't posted for a couple of days to ashamed to admit my self indulgence. Always prided myself on being able to cope with anything. Finding out I was deluding myself was horrific.

Hope you aren't annoyed with my admission and I rely on you all so much. And would hate for you to think badly of me. Oh dear that sounds winey. Dam it I'll press post
and hope for the best.

That's a very good résumé Franbern. It never ceased to amaze me walking from Bethnal Green tube how many million pound houses sat happily next to local authority tower blocks. When I lived in Loughton (Essex) we had Alan Sugar living in one nearby street and East End criminals in another. I too used to leave the back door unlocked (accidentally). Oops!
We hope you have a better day tomorrow. Life has been very unkind to you recently and with everything else going on it's no wonder you are feeling upset. We are all here to listen.

Rosecarmel, welcome to this thread, whereas most of us are in the UK, we do have one regular contibutor in Australia.
We are a very diverse group. Are you in the process of selling/buying/moving home at present? We can offerm, support, advice (whether you wish it or not)and lots of friendship.
It is different her in UK, to how you report it. Many cities have the most expensive properties, particularly in the City Centres. London, Bristol, Manchester, Birmingham, all quite prohibitive prices. Some Counties in England are more fashionable (at present)than others, so if you want to buy a property in West Sussex, you probably need to be a .illionaire. However, go over to the East of East Sussex (eg: Hastings), and property is reasonably priced. Essex is cheaper than the counties to the west and north of London (Herts. Bucks, Berkshire)/
I moved from an outer East London suburb (on the edge of, and surrounded by Epping Forest), to this seaside resort with only half the money for which the 1930's terrace house there sold for. Bought a lovely, very roomy apartment (flat) near town centre, near sea, close to shops, buses, etc. with money to spare to buy new furniture, do some work on it etc.
I have lived by myself for over twenty years now, never felt at all in any sort of danger from crime in my East London suburb and cannot tell you how many times I not only forgot to lock my car on the driveway, but would come downstairs in the morning to find I had left the front door unlocked. Always had windows open there during summer months.
Of course, car is now - most of the time, in electric door garage and my flat is on the first floor, still have windows open during this lovely weather.
I have a really bad day today - quite depressed. I think it was the death of someone else I knew. Third one in two weeks. Yes, I know at my age, I should expect it, but it still comes as a shock. I do not even have a card to send my friend, so I intend to write (yes,actually 'write' not type) a letter to her. Will do that tonight.
I know that a good nights sleep, and I will feel fine tomorrow, do not want to contact any of my children and just give them something else to concern them when there is nothing they can do.
Lovely idea, shandy, to let BHF take all your furniture - A lot of mine went to Sue Ryder, which also collected furniture and electrical goods. It also takes that worry away from you. Oh dear, so glad no-one was hurt when the 'pram' went for its own little excursion, and it sounds as if the bus driver was very pleasant considering the fright he must have had.

I'm in the states- And the state I live in is as I described- Cities have the highest crime- It overflows into the suburbs-

But it's this way all over- You can find amazing homes, decently priced, in cities where crime rates are highest-

The further out you go, where crime is less, homes are expensive, even houses that are in need of costly repairs-

I didn't know that suburban areas have more crime rosecarmel. I wonder why that is.
I thought they all had neighbourhood watch etc. unless you mean murders
What are you looking for?

I was chatting to my old friend yesterday who has recently moved into an ex council bungalow in a seaside town - so presumably not on the fashionable seafront.
I have been meaning to visit her for ages years and now ofcourse I can't.
She loves it and though she is on her own, in her 70s and the garden is large, she thinks it's perfect.

The person who was there before was old and hadn't kept the garden up for years so she says that's a big job.

Location is the most important thing don't you agree? Not isolated.

I almost hate to enter into this discussion, having been combing through listings for over a year- But I persist ..

Suburban housing is less expensive and larger and has higher crime where more rural is smaller, has less crime, is pricey and surrounded by agriculture-

Wooded areas can be either expensive or less but some distance from stores, hospital and in some cases internet and cell service-

Signed off before commenting about your pots Franbern, well done for persevering with them. I found it hard enough making the pram for the dog!

Afternoon all, you've all been busy! I felt very guilty this afternoon craftyone thinking of you with your powdered egg, my neighbour knocked with some. I don't eat eggs, just cook with them, and felt guilty refusing them but she said she was sure the other neighbour would take them.

Jack Straw's castle brings back a humorous memory for me Ellianne - I met a boy there who said to bring some friends to his party on the Saturday night. I drove all four girlfriends round to the address and we all walked in .... to find about twelve boys, in their judo suits. We made a quick exit!

I humiliated myself compeltely this morning. I was in the field with my dog, and had left the pram at the entrance. I rang my friend about the furniture and the next thing I knew I looked up and saw the pram was flying towards the road. I ran as fast as I could but wasn't in time to stop it rolling in front of the oncoming single decker bus, who screeched to a halt. The bus driver was very nice, he said he thought there was a baby inside it. I was purple with embarrassment. Mad old lady comes to mind!

I'm donating all the furniture, including my expensive super comfy sofa, to the British Heart Foundation. Hopefully they will be collecting again in seven weeks time I feel better now as I can empty them and forget about them. I'm so frustrated I can't find the first aid box, I need the 'proper' nail clippers to do my sore toe nail, I can't use the normal type as it's too much pressure. I was in such a state that night, I probably threw it in the bin by mistake.

Right, better go up to the house and do something. Anything is worth doing isn't it, just a few hours a day. I'm glad I can also give my surplus bed linen to the BHF, I have so much.

Received a delivery from Coopers of Stortford this morning. A faux hanging basket, and a gorgeous faux potted plant. They look wonderful on my balcony
Also two bronze coloured small planters. Was surprised when I saw the size of this box as it looked too small. Upon opening discovered they were 'flatpack'. Now in the past I would have probably returned these, saying I wanted the finished article not a work project. But now I was delighted to have something to do. Took me just over an hour to nearly complete one. About another 15-20 minutes work needed on it when I have had a rest. It does say do NOT use power tools on this, which is fortunate as I do not have any of those any more -gave them all away before I move.
Amazing how we change our attitudes with different times.!!

Please, can we adopt Jacinda to take over our govrnment? Would rather UK be a subsidery of NZ than of USA!!
Had a skype chat with one of my daughters as I was upset about the death of my friends husband. I know at our age (all these old friends are in their late 70's) we should expect death, but it still comes as a shock.
Whilst I was on that, another one of those friends phoned me on Messenger from Belfast. Did not even know you could telephone call someone on Messenger. So, a quick chat with her - they are living now in a small one-bedroom flat as they gave their 3/4 bed house to one of their children who was living in a small 2-bed flat with four children. So, now they have no garden and she said the police there are stopping any 'old' people they see out.
Just finished that chat when my faux hanging basket and faux potted plant arrived for my balcony. So that it the morning gone by lunch beckons and all I have actually done this morining is my 15 minute exercise regime and the mopping over of the kitchen and en-suite and bathroom floors.
Where on earth did we use to find the time to go out each day??