Help calm me. House buying and selling stress. Part 6

Sorry Franbern I meant to say enjoy your weekend, but expect I'll talk with you again beforehand

As this is a day for dog stuff Shandy, what light collar has your dog got? Ours has a big neck so I need to find something befitting his status, not a studded designer thing.

Hi Ellianne, Jazz has this one, I recharge it using the USB on my laptop. I also need to find my ugly reflective gilet!

www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/dog/dog-collars-harnesses-leads-and-tags/dog-collars/findables-rechargeable-led-dog-neck-light

Hope the viewing goes well today Shandy57. Have a good look and don't let yourself be rushed.

Would really appreciate some advice. My head is in such a muddle.
I have been in my house all my married life, been a good home. Husband died 16 years ago, children don't see often. My house has become a millstone, the jobs I found easy wear me out. I have help in my large garden, but still loads to do and soon gets out of hand. Jobs need doing but getting someone is a nightmare. I need to move but to what, looked at retirement flats, feel hemmed in, bungalows this area too expensive. I belong to walking groups but feel it's all getting too much. Scared of selling in case I don't find anything and have to rent. Woukd welcome views from others who have found themselves in similiar situation.. I might glad that my circle of true friends is diminishing, one has unfortunately died, another moving to live with her daughter and another relocating hear her son as they are close. Thank you.

Sparkling, while I can see why you are worried I'll give you another perspective, one that I am living at the moment. We sold last October and were not able to find a place we wanted to buy so have been renting since March. With COVID and restrictions our real estate is locked down until at least the end of October. We had hoped to have at least bought if not moved by now but that has not happened and I cannot see us moving anytime soon. At least we have a roof over our heads in the meantime.

If you sell your home and rent it gives you some time to sort out and find what and where you really would like to move into. You can have your property sold and money in the bank which means the pressure to move without a chain is removed. It can be done in your own time. Yes it does mean two moves but hopefully they will not be too far apart and you will not need to pack and unpack everything twice.

It will also mean that you know how much you can spend and you would be a genuine cash buyer ready to go.

The negative is that it does delay your move into your new home but the positive is that is gives you more time without the stress to find that home.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Sparkling I was widowed 16.5 years ago our children were 20 and 16. Still had parents and mother in law living. After the children left home was tied to the West Midlands and only after my mother died was free to leave. No one was dependent on me in the Midlands anymore. And put my house on the market March 2018. I was free to move nearer to my children in Liverpool .Once I made the decision to move the house didn't feel like home anymore I had mentally detached myself. If you have made the decision to move and feel that way you are ready for the next step. It's not going to be easy and you are going to go through hell. Stress levels off the chart. Moving for me was the best decision I've made in years.

Are you tied to the county you live in or do you have an area you want to move to? Or do you just want to stay in the area but down size?

I moved from a large 3 bed semi with large garden . I had to have a gardener as health problems meant I needed help. I down sized to a 2 bed bungalow with small gardens. Which I can look after myself. I love where I live , my neighbours are lovely. Not met anyone I haven't liked. Had a lot of work done in the bungalow but it's all mine. Even after my husband died and the children left it was our house. But the bungalow is mine. Moving gave me back my identity. Before I was my husband's wife then widow , children's mother etc. Here everyone knows me as me . I am at peace. Which I know seems a strange thing to say but think others here who have moved feel the same.

You need to make a list of what you want and more importantly what you don't want. Also what you are willing to have done and don't want to have to do to your new home. How many bedrooms do you really need, do you need a garage and or driveway, house, flat or bungalow these all needed to be answered. Have you had your house valued? How much do you want to spend buying your new home ? Don't forget solicitor, estate agent, moving costs etc. Also the first year in your new home will eat money.

For me I knew I couldn't rent as a stop gap. I needed to sell to fund my new home.

There is a lot to thing about. If you are going to sell start getting every bit of paperwork to do with your house together now. As you will be bombarded with questions and forms to fill in etc.

Others can offer more advice hope what I have said helps.

Sparkling I would put your house on the market at a realistic price and whilst you are waiting to sell do some online research to try to narrow down the type of property you would be happy in and the area in which you want to live.
When you have an offer then start viewings and possibly offer.

Worst case scenario, if you can't find anything you can always withdraw from the market. There is plenty of time after you have accepted an offer to try and find something.

I have seen too many people (usually women) who have left it too late and simply can't face moving. They end up living in one room downstairs whilst everything else goes to pot round them. Very sad.

Good luck.

sparkling I am similar but was widowed in 2015 and I don`t see my children very often. My home was larger and very full, as were the outbuilding and garage. My true friends are also starting to pass and so has one sibling

I had to do this last move in stages, first I needed to find some area in which I wanted to live, it took many trips out and a great deal of courage to start again. I used to go out and get a cup of tea and talk to random strangers, the ones who looked friendly. I spoke to women in car parks, anywhere

De-cluttering was a non-stop process, which started the day after my husband died. I did find some housing for over 55s, proper houses around courtyards, with a garage and garden. Now they were lovely, well built and with a community but definitely not shoulder to shoulder. Each house had the potential for a downstairs bedroom and shower
www.bluecedarhomes.co.uk/
Prices were different, depending on the areas and I wen to look at some in wiltshire. I was very impressed. The area was wrong for me, that is all

What I could get on with while looking, was the de-cluttering and I did, in a major way. I got one room at a time, ready to sell

What I am suggesting for the next step sparkling, is that you don`t place your house on sale yet but that you carry on with serious de-cluttering and also have a look at those blue cedar houses and with an open mind, prepare mentally to move away from your local area. I would not have gone into rental, two moves would have been a definite no for me

Sparkling, the other day I met someone at flower arranging who had sold her 5 bedroom house with 2 acres in the home counties and moved to a 2 bedroom flat in a busy area and was having a great time.
You might get a very good price now because of the stamp duty amnesty and then when prices have dropped back buy something at a good price.
Also worth letting people know locally what your plans are. Someone might know someone..........
All the best whatever you decide.

Those blue cedar homes do appear on rightmove, you need to find the area in which they were built and then do the rightmove with retirement filter. I looked at one at farmborough but cannot find any details to show you. Obviously sold

I must stop browsing, I want to get out on my bike

Just do it and follow your heart sparkling. Once the seeds of doubt are sown in your mind about looking after your present house, you will just sit and worry all the time. There will be some excellent advice and support on here if you start the process.
craftyone we were hoping a blue cedar home might come up in our specific town but it is rare and they are snapped up. In the end my husband decided we didn't want to pay the yearly maintenance charges at this stage. They are very nice.

Sparkling - it does not have to be retirement flats. Normal flats (many of them only for over-55's), are usually far bigger and have less annual maintenance charge. Okay, you will not have the communal lounge for meetings, etc. and not an on-site Manager (but thy are usually only there Mon-Fri, 9 -5).

I think I would reiterate those who have said that your first thing is to work out WHERE you wish to live, then look at suitable properties there. Flats have many advantages over bungalows for older people - far less worry about outside maintenance, - roofs, drains, fences, gutters, etc. etc. I would say you need to look at flats with good sized balconys' - not 'Juliet' ones.
Newer flats tend to go for the kitchen area being at the end of large open-planned living room. If you do not like this sort of arrangement and want a proper separate kitchen, then look at flats built in 1980's & 90's. Usually larger and roomier. Many 2-bedroom flats have en-suites giving two bathrooms.
I was by myself and 78 yrs old when I moved from East London/Essex house in a borough in which I had lived for over 50 yrs - to my lovely flat down here in Weston super Mare. It was hard, and I would not recommend moving at that age, if possible.

Now I have settled I cannot emphasise how much better off and happier in my flat - so convenient with everything being on the level - lift from main entrance to my front door.
I did look at a few retirement blocks, but found all the flats in those (even the 2-bedroom ones) were very tiny and cramped with minute kitchenettes.
I have a very large living room which gives plenty of space for dining area and cupboards and seating -a large patio type balcony, main bedroom is very roomy with en=suite , 2nd bedroom for visitors and guest bathroom,. Near to shops beach and park, garage of my own. Lovely feeling of security here. My responsibility is only with regards to maintenance and decoration INSIDE the flat.
Another thing to beware about in retirement flats, is that permission often needs to be obtained for ANY alteration inside of them, you are not a free agent, as you are in non-retirement flats.
Get an idea of what you are after BEFORE selling your existing house. Renting may sound great for giving options, but means TWO moves (I most definitely would not have been able to cope with that). Once you have an idea of what sort of place you would like to move to you can start working backwards regarding price of selling your house.

Take into account costs of Estate Agents, solicitors fees, removal costs (all plus VAT -which they often do not mention to you until you get their bills), also allow about £20 grand plus for decorations, re-furnishing,, etc AFTER YOU MOVE. This will give you an idea of the lowest sort of price you can accept.
Lots of advice at every step of your way is on this thread - free of charge, from those of us who have been through this process in the last year or two.
GOOD LUCK

I was thinking about you sparkling, don`t aim to sell until spring. Spend the whole time before then just getting the de-cluttering done and prepping one room at a time. Not forgetting that you will be doing this by yourself, so pace yourself but don`t let a day go by without doing something towards your sale. Then be ready to ring an EA in early march/end of february. That should give you enough time to get ready, also mentally ready. Ask on here about specific areas/locations that you might like and what your property needs are. Putting your estimated budget on here is also a good idea. Some lovely welcoming parts of the uk are very much cheaper than others

Ellianne, they are building some in wedmore but I just could not wait that long, I sent for details as soon as they applied for planning. They do hold their prices

shandy, I hope you are getting somewhere in moving money to NS&I, I just checked and transferred a little. It went very smoothly, I set up a transfer facility with halifax bank, did it before I had the house funds and checked it was ok by just transferring £10 to start

Morning all, robin is singing again, an autumn morning.

Sparkling, I am also a widow and have recently sold my house. As I was selling at auction I moved into a rental, my plan was to travel to different areas to find out where I want to buy my forever home. Unfortunately the pandemic has restricted this, but I have been to Kent, and am going to Devon next Monday.

I found useful info on Imove, the site that Phil Spencer writes for. His advice if you are contemplating moving is to:-

Decide where. Narrow down your search areas to find your ideal location.

Make a list of must haves, and nice to haves.

Work out your budget, making sure you allow funds to improve/change wherever you buy.

Find a good solicitor.

Register with portals and EA's, and set up alerts for your chosen area.

I agree with everyone encouraging you to declutter, I also started in 2018 but at the end, because of Covid, had to give/throw away many items I could have sold for hard cash.

Good luck.

Craftyone, I got to the stage where I had to input my secure key code showing the NS&I account code and the amount, and it kept saying I'd got the 'code' wrong from my secure key, wouldn't let me do it. I held on the phone for an age and gave up, I'll phone again today.

I meant to say my Listed Building magazine arrived here yesterday, I think my subscription has now run out. Made my blood run cold looking at it. I'll always wonder why the sash window man didn't send his quote for the replacement windows - at a guess I'd say the cost was prohibitive.

Sparkling - It is probably easier to spend the winter decluttering and deciding where and what type of property you want.
Once you start decluttering, you will be amazed how much stuff you have that you no longer need and how long it takes to sort out. You can also decide if the sale would be helped by some decorating, gardening or minor repairs.
Spend time on Rightmove narrowing down the type of property and area you want. I didn't want a flat, partly as maintenance charges on nicer flats are so high, I wanted to keep a small garden and regularly have family staying so needed more space. I planned to go for a modern house but found them so poky after living in older houses. Bungalows are very rare here.
I didn't consider renting as my pension is small and would not stretch to renting a small flat, otherwise rent would use most of my savings. There would also be storage to pay for.
I wanted a downstairs loo (or space to put one in) and to be near shops, as I don't drive. I wanted to move further out of London but not far so still near family and friends. We all have our own priorities.

Well that's the back garden all weeded. Sorted out a new garage door and frame. They are going to build up the front edge as at the moment when it rains water gets in. Garage smells musty. Lot cheaper than I thought. Also got my Emmaus collection all sorted. Going to peg out my washing now. Always glad when I have had a productive morning. Lazy afternoon and may be a nap.

Hope you all have the sunshine.

I wrote on here earlier that I was having trouble transferring money into my NS&I savings account, and did manage to ring this afternoon and a nice young man explained I had been doing it wrong - the last four numbers are from MY account reference, not NS&I. I planned on trying tonight after dinner.

He asked if he could help with anything else and I asked for a new secure key as mine is so old and I have to press the buttons very hard. He said he would arrange to send me one.

I can't believe it, I've just tried to log on tonight to do this tester transfer and my secure key is blocked, it's asking me to set a pin again. I can't access my account at all without it, and who knows how long the new one will take! I do give up!

Can't thank you all enough. I gave decided, I can't face renting and having two moves. I want a small house with tiny garden, just that I can sit out in for coffee and dry my washing, plant pits up and do on. Where I live it's like trying to find gold dust, so I will start looking at areas within a 10 to 20 mile radius, with shops and facilities on hand. It's sorting that bit out first. I have never heard about all the firms and osier work you have to fill in, thought that's what you pay solicitors and surveyors for.

Sparkling I didn't know about all the extra paperwork you have to do until after my mom died in 2017 and put our parents house on the market. So I was prepared for what I would have to do when I put mine on the market. As soon as I decided to sell informed my solicitor and she sent me all the forms etc to be fill in once I had a buyer. Well I fill them all in as soon as I got them and held on to them until I accepted the first offer. Have you had to your house valued that way you know how much you can spend on your new home. Also remember your home is only worth what people are willing to pay. My estate agent valued mine at a ridiculous price so I set my own which she had to admit was a sensible price.

We had lived in the same area since ,1980. Only moved down the road to a bigger house in 1985. Then I moved 100+ miles away.

Good luck with your house hunting. And should start decluttering now it takes longer than you think.

I am glad you have found some peace of mind sparkling and that you have started to get a plan together. I agree with whiff, do your own research to estimate your house value, compare to similar homes and bear in mind that if yours needs work or improvements it would be worth less than a pristine maintained home

It is important to face pricing reality and the sooner the better and it is much better than getting an airy fairy price plucked from the air from an EA who has no real idea about housing in your area. Never forget that they are sales people with targets to reach. I would put your postcode into RM and find the sold prices, which will give you a pretty good idea

Starting high and having to reduce is bad, it makes buyers wait for the next reduction

70s/80s we bought and sold 7 times, it was much cheaper and easier to move then. 2006 move and paperwork was ok, 2010 paperwork was ok. 2019 paperwork was horrific.

Sparkling if you cannot settle to a de-clutter session, then just do a kitchen shelf, a high one. Clear it, clean it and leave it. Also start a personal house file, get the papers in as soon as they turn, you can do the last sort later

Sparkling, sorry we have to disillusion you about Solicitors. Yes, they charge you a great deal, but then ask you to reply to ALL the questions. They are also, these days, very intent to find any smallest problem legally with whatever you wish to purchase, as they are now more worried about covering their own backs with regard to ensuring they do not leave even the smallest loophole which could get them in problems in the future.
You do need them, unfortunately, and I do not think many of us would recommend any of the on-line conveyancing companies - which can be a total nightmare and are so often difficult to contact.
I would strongly suggest that you use a local solicitors, so that important paperwork can actually be taken by hand to them, not trusted to the mail. You can get, from any good company, a fixed price for conveyancing. Do remember this will not show the added VAT they will actually include at the end.

Estate Agents, similar - do note that the percentage of the final sale price they charge will also need VAT added. A good EA is very worthwhile. I would not have managed to go ahead without the one I had. BUT- do not take any notice of the sale price they will quote at the beginning - they are putting your property at the very top end (usually plus some) of the market for that sort of property and location - to get you to sign up to them for sole agency. They will then tell you to reduce it within a few weeks. As had been said, DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH - very easy these days of computers. Know the sort of price it can genuinely get (not be offered for sale). So, yes Craftyone's idea of looking up recently sold properties in your area is the best one.

Check your property now for any really required repairs, and also think of 'tarting up' a little. Amazing the difference to a look a coat of paint or even a cheapish new carpet can make. Tidy it up - clear kitchen worktops - ensure everything is clean. De-cluttering is an on-going job which you can start straight away. I kept a box in which I placed things for Charity shops and as soon as I took that one to
a shop, I would start another.
Arrange for the EA to do all the viewings, not yourself. I would actually go out, even just for a drive so that I was not there. Although I did stay for second viewings.
Start a file of ALL paper work you can find. Do you know where your deeds are? Any electrical work you have done for the last several years will require proper certification. Fensa certificate for windows has already been mentioned, Intallation and annual checks on boiler and central heating should be put in file. Check if you know where you mains water ta[ for turning supply on and off is placed. You will be asked for that.
When you do receive that long form of questions about your property from our Solicitor, do not feel despair - sit quietly with a glass of wine or cup of tea (whichever is best for you), and take it question by question and do not be afraid to write NK (Not Known) to any. Will not make any difference to the sale.
Start thinking about what you will be leaving, curtains, window blinds, lighting carpets, garden furniture, etc. etc. Will all need to be shown.
Once you have agreed on an Estate Agent, ensure that you check their information on your property before they use it for potential purchasers. Amazing how often they make errors, I have seen 'details' and 'floor layouts' which leave out windows and doors. etc.

Take your time - do not panic. Use this site for support as often as you like - and just think of how lovely it will eventually be in your new, smaller, easy to run home.