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House and home

Hostess or guest?

(48 Posts)
hollysteers Tue 25-Aug-20 20:12:30

Are you at your best as a visitor or as host in your own home?
I like to think I am a reasonably good host, taking care to make everyone comfortable, but I know I am more relaxed as a guest, going out, enjoying the conversation more and without the worries entertaining at home bring. I ‘sparkle’ in a way I can’t at home.
My mother was the same, she had lots of sisters and was the one who visited them, not the other way round.

Chewbacca Tue 25-Aug-20 20:14:03

Host. I'm never completely comfortable in someone else's home.

kittylester Tue 25-Aug-20 20:16:54

Me too, chewbacca. I think people feel at home here and I love that.

Oopsadaisy4 Tue 25-Aug-20 20:17:19

I get stressed either way, I’m not sure that I sparkle with guests or as a visitor.

Apart from my family I’d rather stay away from other people!
But thats just me...

GrannyGravy13 Tue 25-Aug-20 20:42:55

Absolutely love having friends and family staying with us. I also love staying with close friends or family.

ginny Tue 25-Aug-20 21:35:21

I enjoy having close family to stay or staying with them. Other than that I’m never really very comfortable staying in other people’s houses.’

tanith Tue 25-Aug-20 22:10:49

I can’t relax with either not so bad with family but I’d really not do either unless it’s a GC sleepover. I know I’m antisocial although I do manage to hide it.

Curlywhirly Wed 26-Aug-20 09:01:38

Used to love being the hostess and having people around for meals; positively hate it now, it just seems so stressful. Have never really enjoyed people staying over (don't mind a couple of days, but any longer isn't enjoyable). However, I don't mind children staying, love it (when teenagers, our sons' friends stayed over several times). I would much rather be a visitor, especially if it's family and close friends; but I do love going home!

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 26-Aug-20 09:09:14

I've almost always been the visitor as my house is too small for stayovers. I don't mind either way really - I think it's the company which makes the difference.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 26-Aug-20 09:27:27

I think I got used to having friends and family staying here, sometimes for up to a month.

We have friends and family scattered worldwide and they are always welcome to use our house as their base we have enough bedrooms/bathrooms for privacy, and after five children the guests are usually quieter and less trouble.

Rosalyn69 Wed 26-Aug-20 09:30:31

I don’t like staying in other people’s homes neither do I like people staying in mine.
Hotels are always preferable.

Doodledog Wed 26-Aug-20 09:32:49

I live having my adult children to stay, but much beyond that I find stressful. I enjoy entertaining, but feel happier when people go home at the end of the evening.

I think it’s having people able to access all all areas of my house that’s the issue - it’s such a hassle getting ready for visitors that I’d rather not bother.

seacliff Wed 26-Aug-20 09:37:34

It depends who I am staying with. If it's my sister, I feel totally at home, although we don't see each other often due to distance. I love being there. Other people, not so much. Everyone does things differently and I might feel awkward.

I do enjoy going to someone's just for a meal, what a treat.

On the other hand being the host can be hard work as I'm not a great cook. All that cleaning and prep before hand, I feel I need a holiday when they have gone! Well Covid has put paid to all that this year.

timetogo2016 Wed 26-Aug-20 09:52:21

Me too Chewbacca/Kittylester.
After approx 20 mins i`m itching to get out.
All visitors are welcome,some by coming,others by going.

TwiceAsNice Wed 26-Aug-20 09:59:21

I loved having my children stay when I lived elsewhere, doesn’t happen now as I’ve moved close. I do like staying at my best friends and I like her staying with me, we are totally comfortable with each other.

I occasionally stay with another friend one night if I go back to Wales but am not so relaxed there

grandMattie Wed 26-Aug-20 09:59:49

“Guests are like fish, after three days they start to stink”! Whoever said that, wins my vote.
I feel far happier hosting, always feelin edge as guest as I’m never sure how much to make myself at home - even at DDs. These days, I don’t much enjoy either.

Nortsat Wed 26-Aug-20 16:19:09

We always stay in an hotel, when we visit family. Then they join us for a ‘hotel breakfast’, before we have the day out.

When the young ones visit us, we put them in a Travel Lodge, so we can all enjoy seeing one another but they have some space too.

We occasionally accommodate a friend for an overnight stay but I don’t relish other people’s spare beds ...

Alittlemadam Thu 27-Aug-20 09:35:16

It all depends on the company as to whether I host or they host

NannyG123 Thu 27-Aug-20 09:47:38

If its close family I'm happy with both. Prefer going to someone else house if it's a not so close friend, or family

Sawsage2 Thu 27-Aug-20 10:43:16

Children yes , adults no.

Mollygo Thu 27-Aug-20 10:43:47

I’m happy with either, though stopovers with us are only family except for my OZ friends. Staying with my sister in law is a real treat.
Since my GC reaches teens, we tend to stay in a hotel close by my daughters, not because we aren’t welcome but because it means we all get a bit of space and our early morning routine doesn’t interrupt their well deserved weekend lie-in!

Sheilasue Thu 27-Aug-20 10:45:17

I don’t mind being a guest. It’s nice not to have to cook and clear up when they are gone.

Kim19 Thu 27-Aug-20 10:50:04

I have people to stay regularly. However, mostly, they feed themselves. I simply keep a well stocked larder/fridge with knowledge of their particular fads and fancies and let them get on with it. Sounds haphazard (and even unfriendly?) but they keep coming back with gusto. We also have lovely meals out and that suits me fine.

Witzend Thu 27-Aug-20 10:52:26

Host, definitely.
I won’t stay at anyone else’s house unless it’s family or friends I know extremely well. I don’t sleep well and am often up and down in the night, making a cup of tea etc. - I only feel comfortable doing that in a very few people’s homes.
Plus there’s the dreaded standard double bed - I feel so cramped in one of those nowadays.

I’ve declined going with dh to visit relatives of his in Canada - people even he knew only slightly - since he liked the idea of with staying with them, and I certainly didn’t.
Very kind of them to offer, but....
Luckily he was perfectly happy to go on his own.

Kim19 Thu 27-Aug-20 10:53:02

Should perhaps have added, I am the easiest of guests. No fuss. Anything goes. I just like the people I visit and their company is far more important than any fripperies.