Hostess or guest?

We’ve just had 5 friends stay over for two days. We shopped and i baked for two days before. Rearranged beds and washed and ironed sheets etc. Cleaned the house from top to bottom. I was shattered before they arrived. It’s like being a servant , feeding, entertaining, taking out. Constant tea making and making them feel welcome. I don’t get much help from DH So it’s down to me. I love seeing them but don’t like the overnight stays. We live too far away from them to just make it a days visit. I enjoy going to peoples houses but not to stay over. I don’t sleep well and like to get up if needs be.

I like seeing friends for the day and occasionally I will cook but I’m afraid I’m not too keen on overnight stays even though we have the space.

Likewise if we visit friends and stay overnight I always book a nearby hotel.

Usually though these days we eat out as it’s so much easier having a wide choice in a restaurant.

There are so many alleged food intolerances, vegetarians, vegans etc. these days that catering at home is no longer a pleasure.

I’m lucky that my family all live near enough for us to have frequent get togethers and to then sleep in our own homes !

Definitely prefer to be a vistor now. Used to live near Brighton every weekend we had visitors. I as working full time with a young daughter but I enjoyed it then. Don't have that energy now Lol

Another who gets stressed either way??‍♀️ As a host I set myself ridiculously high standards (thanks mum?) and inevitably feel a failure afterwards. As a guest I am constantly on edge worried about when I can get up or go to bed without being rude, anxious about needing the loo in the night or getting a glass of water etc ??‍♀️

Oopsadaisy4

I get stressed either way, I’m not sure that I sparkle with guests or as a visitor.

Apart from my family I’d rather stay away from other people!
But thats just me...

Same here Oopsadaisy!

Until 3 years ago we lived in Spain and used to have a lot of people to stay, a cheap holiday for them but very expensive for us. People would come for 1 or 2 weeks and it was very hard work and hugely expensive. They tended to think if they bought a couple of bottles of wine and took us out for a meal that was enough. We also had the airport runs to do.
I sound a misery complaining and it was good fun to see friends, however, I now feel I have done my bit and don't ever want to host again.

Guest. But only for a few hours, I'm not happy staying with other people no matter how well I know them.

I dont like entertaining and when people (other than our kids) visit I prefer to take them out for a meal.

I have always preferred being the hostess. I love having family and friends round for meals etc. It means I have leftovers! ☺

Love both, but being lazy I prefer being a guest

We still have the family home so there’s plenty of room for family & friends to stay, no bathroom issues either. I love having company but have got out of the habit since lockdown and sometimes wonder whether I’ll be able to make the effort in future.
I love staying with friends too - I feel it’s an honour to be invited.

I love hosting. I'm the hostess with the mostest! I can't relax in other people's homes as well as I can in mine. It can get expensive, though!

We almost never have guests as DH isn’t keen and the house is too small.
If we had the space I would love to have people to stay ( maximum two nights!) and I would enjoy getting their room ready with all home comforts. I would not want them to raid my fridge or start cooking though.
The last time I stayed in a friend’s house we talked non stop and had a lovely time catching up. She cleared a bed for me but it was surrounded by clutter and I kept advising her that I couldn’t flush the loo, but none of that mattered.

We usually have guests for around three days....just long enough to be enjoyable.
Am happy to host, but a treat to be the guest and I love our trips to stay with friends/family.

Used to love having several friends/family around for meals but with all the different allergies/various diets etc to cater for it is no longer enjoyable.

Betty18

Neither ! I feel uncomfortable both ways . I prefer to be at home in peace and quiet ... don’t I sound boring !

Me too!

I like to see family if they pop round for a couple of hours but staying guests are far too stressful.

I do like it when my granddaughter (8) comes for a sleepover though and have missed her since lockdown

I do love to host but the level of enjoyment depends on the guests, most are a joy, they relax, they muck in and we have fun. Some not so much, they relax too much and I feel like waiter/chambermaid, talk only about themselves and stay too long. One is a nightmare who has fragile newly polished fingernails so can't possibly clear a plate away but can certainly pour the wine.

I try to be an appreciative and helpful guest and am invited back so can't be too bad. I did once visit the cousin with the fragile nails, bed linen had clearly been slept in which I discovered after removing the fifteen cushions from the bed. Bedside lamps didn't work and I was expected to cook all the meals, left the next day and never went back.

I just love having people round for meals, parties etc. I really enjoy the planning and prep, getting the cooking done in advance where possible and joining in the fun on the day. I’ve very fond memories of the times the family have stayed over Christmas, some of us sleeping on sofas and mattresses on the floor. Happy days!

I’m always glad to be a guest as well though.

Used to love a big houseful, Christmases with teenage children and the strays they brought home with them, and later with small grandchildren. House now not big enough for that and am not sure I have the energy, but have so missed visitors during lockdown and look forward to being sociable in the future. Like staying with friends and family too, but no longer possible as DH is so confused by any changes to his routine that it’s not worth the effort. Would be nice to have a meal I haven’t had to plan, but and cook though!

Betty18 I agree so we are boring together. We had great parties when I was younger full of our wonderful RAF friends so I feel I have done my bit. These days to be honest I can’t be a...sed.I lost touch with friends when I left work so now I am Billy no mates but that doesn’t bother me either. I don’t go to stay anywhere and no one comes here to stay. One daughter is in Texas so she turns up about every 5 years and that’s lovely. Other daughter about 16 miles away and we meet up quite regularly when she is not working. I help with her garden. That’s it and that’s the way ah ah I like it.

Neither ! I feel uncomfortable both ways . I prefer to be at home in peace and quiet ... don’t I sound boring !

Hostess I’m afraid.
I love cooking for others (cooking for myself simply no longer interests me) and I love the planning, shopping and if they are staying, the fresh towels , toiletries , books in the guest bedroom - the whole thing.
Sadly lockdown put paid to most of that

Until lockdown we often had 2 nieces from abroad, at different boarding schools in the U.K., to stay for long weekends or half terms. Sometimes they would ask to bring a friend who had nowhere else to go except a paid ‘host’ - to me it was lovely that they felt comfortable to do that.

They were always very easy guests - never up until at least 11.30!* and would help themselves to massive breakfasts - we had to make sure the fridge was well stocked in advance.
*usually watching Netflix on laptops into the small hours!

Home, as everyone always loves it here, and it makes me happy.

Should perhaps have added, I am the easiest of guests. No fuss. Anything goes. I just like the people I visit and their company is far more important than any fripperies.

Host, definitely.
I won’t stay at anyone else’s house unless it’s family or friends I know extremely well. I don’t sleep well and am often up and down in the night, making a cup of tea etc. - I only feel comfortable doing that in a very few people’s homes.
Plus there’s the dreaded standard double bed - I feel so cramped in one of those nowadays.

I’ve declined going with dh to visit relatives of his in Canada - people even he knew only slightly - since he liked the idea of with staying with them, and I certainly didn’t.
Very kind of them to offer, but....
Luckily he was perfectly happy to go on his own.