Moving to holiday home

You should move to the seaside place and become part of the community there rather than have a second home lying empty for much of the time, which someone local could live in (if they can afford it).

How far away from each other are the houses in question ? I combined both worlds ....sold my house in France, sold a late relative's house near to a city in the North East and bought a new place on the coast ............chose the city rather than countryside for reason mentioned here ...plenty of doctors (ha ha WHEN we can see them !) excellent university hospitals shops, (that are left that is, sadly !) a metro just 2 mins walk away, plentiful busses, taxis are cheap and plentiful ...an international airport, a ferry service ......because, having returned from France and being over 70 I would need to change my driving licence back to a UK one and quite honestly don't need to drive here . There are a lot of factors to consider, as mentioned elsewhere ....when you get too old or infirm to drive > accessibility to transport services, doctors, etc etc ............so I wouldn't bury myself in the country ! Saw in France so many women did not drive or no longer drove...it was so hard for them as there was no transport whatsoever within a 30 km radius .....fortunately (or unfortunately ) the only family I have left is one estranged daughter living in the UK who hasn' spoken or communicated for 14 years ! BUT I do have a friend who moved from her home in London to Essex to be near her family and grandchildren ...........after 6 months the son got an offer of promotion in Norfolk .............so in reality she moved for nothing ! Depends how certain it is that if you move to be near your family they will stay where they are now .........serious thought ! Might be, as someone suggested, an idea to spend a year in the other house ....try to see how you would manage if either or both had to give up driving ......how easy to get re registered with a doctor......things to do, etc et ....and then decide ! Good luck

Just my fourpennyworth- driving at our age (me 79, SWMBO 75) should be as natural as walking but is a skill that benefits from continued practice. 80 miles unless it’s all congested minor road shouldn’t be a challenge. (I’m assuming your eyesight is satisfactory and you are physically able.)

Do what makes you happy! All these doom mongers, you get one life.Family would move away given the opportunity.Why not you?
We did and we love it.

How about joining some local clubs and groups just to see how you get on? There are walking for health groups for various fitness levels. It doesn't matter if you only attend every few weeks, you get chatting to interesting people. You could also try the local U3A. After a few months you might feel able to make a definite decision either way, having tried to settle permanently and make new friends.

Think very carefully about this. If your husband isn't sociable you will have to make a great effort by yourself and will you be able to make friends and socialise with other couples? My husband isn't sociable and although I have joined U3A and art clubs its not the same as being close to family and old friends.

When we downsized in our late 60s we moved to the north Norfolk coast. You don’t say how old you are, where your cottage is or what the local facilities are but here we have no shop or pub in the village and zero public transport so everyone is completely reliant on driving everywhere, whether they are really too old/unsafe to do so or not. Good GP a few miles away but much further to a hospital, as we were discussing only yesterday. We have no problem with any of this at present and have no regrets about moving to this lovely area, but there’s likely to come a point when we have to consider practicalities. Has your husband considered this?
We’re still about the same distance from family as before and they enjoy coming to stay (too far for just a one day visit). We’re both like your husband, not very sociable and I haven’t seen any clubs etc in the area which would interest me if I wanted some sort of social life outside of village activities. If you’re very much dependent on having lots of friends around you a permanent move to the cottage may make you very miserable. As others have suggested, try living at the cottage for a few months over the winter and see if it would work, not just now but if either of you becomes less fit and healthy.

It’s not true that you will never replace your friends. I moved to the south coast years ago and have made some wonderful new friends through joining the U3A.

I'm happg fod you Jaxie. I haven't made any xlose friends in our U3A.

Oops. Amended version.

I'm happy for you Jaxie. I haven't made any close friends in our U3A.

Tonadateturbe, I didn’t make new friends for ages in the U3A. Someone told me when I complained that members were cliquish and standoffish that I wasn’t asking them the right questions. My true friends were made when I started leading a memoir writing group.

Thanks Jaxie. I'll keep trying. We're just starting up again. Looking forward to my art class.