Son not doing jobs he promised

Get an expert for both those jobs .
Get another expert to fit an extractor fan in the bathroom
Tell son to find a flat

Got their first Aggie!

Would telling him that his lack of financial contribution to the household needs to be met by his practical contribution of xx hours a week handyman/ cleaning/ general chores. Otherwise a greater chunk of his UC needs to needs handed over?

But buy a different air freshener. Compromise !
Just book the tradesmen and tell him then are coming. If your son kicks off, too bad !

Get a man in to do the shed and tell him to pay up, for all other cpsts, not just food, including a supplement to pay for all the energy he wastes opening all the windows and doors, and as aggie says, fit an extractor fan in the bathroom. One that automaatically turns on and off when the bathroom door is shut.

Your house, your rules.

May be the friend whose log cabin was built could return the favour and lend a hand with your shed? DS may be more committed if someone else is involved too.
Dish washer sounds like a job for a pro to me.

It does sounds as though your son may be depressed though.

What Aggie said!

Is there any particular reason your son lives with you?

I would get tradesmen in for the shed and the plumbing and ask your son for a reasonable amount towards bills.

I would however agree with your son about the air freshener. Those chemical smells make me cough a lot. They are not healthy.

lixy

May be the friend whose log cabin was built could return the favour and lend a hand with your shed? DS may be more committed if someone else is involved too.
Dish washer sounds like a job for a pro to me.

It does sounds as though your son may be depressed though.

I did suggest that, re friend helping him, but he just muttered. He's friend and his wife split up this year and my son is more friendly with the wife, so he may feel unable to contact him re helping out.

My son seems very happy living with me, till this Friday, we do get on well, he does help but it's a hard slog to get him on his feet and out of the ether. He is looking for work, he was a mathematical scientised before, working for the m.o.d had he's works in the papers! But had to give it up due to near fatal reactions to the Swine flu jab about 10yrs ago. He still hasn't recovered, get's good days where he has energy and then not so good days, where he's fatigued & drops off to sleep during the day.

He would love to be married with children and he's own house, but says he can't look for a girlfriend till he has a job. So that is depressing for him and before he came back to live with me, he didn't want to go on with life. So I'm thankful he is with me now, so I can give him some t.l.c.

He's 35yrs and 6ft 2inch, so folk say you're lucky to have a tall strong son to help you and I think 'yea, when I can get him up on his feet!'

That's exactly what my son says Elusivebutterfly

It sounds as if he isn’t up to doing tasks , I would still get the dishwasher fixed and get an expert to put in a bathroom fan , those sprays aren’t good for your lungs
Maybe look at your diet , my bathroom doesn’t need sprays after I’ve “been” !

Nothing to add to aggie's post.

how old is your son? so glad I live alone. You are treading on eggshells in your own home.
my sons are a phonecall away and will help if needed.

You’re on a roll today Aggie - I can add nothing to both your posts!
PS Yogaetc- why would you want your heating on during the day? That must be a very nasty air freshener to necessitate opening doors and windows
Have you tried “Poopourri” or “Post-poo Drops” ?
Or just keep the bathroom window open but the loo lid down and the door tight shut

It's Pure lavender, window open, door shut, lid down, good healthy diet, no red meat.

Just rather have my house smelling of Lavender than

If I cook fish I switch a plug-in air freshener.

Just common curtsy surely, when you've used the loo.

'I use 'bloo' foam AROMA' self acting fragranced powder '

..That how it states on the tub! ( not shouting. )
which you sprinkle down around the bowl of the loo.

I don't eat red meat, curries, onions or burgers..... which a lot of men like! I don't like sprays.

He doesn`t sound very well yogi, a bit depressed and a not fully functioning breathing mechanism, heart and lung are co-dependent and it does sound to me that there is something wrong underlying. I would say a push to the doctor and to get the tradesmen in that aggie said

re jobs, they are crying out for teachers with science/maths but I am not sure if right now, he could cope with the rough and tumble, however it may well do his psyche some good to apply and to get onto a teaching course.

those artificial chemicals in freshners are bad for anyone. Put some matches in the loo, he just needs to strike one and the smell will disappear

Yogin I didn't rely on my children to do any jobs for me. The ones they did do they volunteered. They where jobs like getting the carpets up,stripping wallpaper,removing fitted wardrobes ,putting picture up , screwing my wall units to the and putting together a double bed . Everything else I hired tradesmen. I would never trust my family where plumbing ,electrics etc was concerned. For a start they aren't trained and would hate them to hurt themselves doing something for me. When my husband was alive we hired people to do jobs as he worked long hours and it was easier to pay them and quicker.

As you son has health problems just hire someone to put the shed up . And as far as the air freshener is concerned ask him what smell he likes . Buy it and tell him not to open the windows. I use solid gel air fresheners have them in every room . Even when we where a family of 4 and after my husband died the toilet and bathroom doors where always left wide open. I keep my shower room door open even when I have visitors. Only closed when in use when others are here. Only time it's shut by me is when I have a shower to keep the warmth in. Rest of the time never shut when I use the loo. It's a safety thing.

He doesn't work, pays for his food, but not rest of the bills

Yes, get someone in and tell him he really needs to contribute more to the household bills.
I'd rather get an expert in to do jobs like that.

If I cook fish I switch a plug-in air freshener.
Noooooo...
Horrible things.
Can you get someone in to fit an extractor fan?

What aggie said.

If you have social media ask for recommendations for suitable people to undertake whatever work you need doing. Often those who are recommended respond offering to come and quote for the job you need to have completed.
With regards to your son has he received any help over the past 10 years with his health issues, and is it ongoing at all? I think it’s back to the health profession to try and help him.