Help calm me. House buying and selling stress *Part 9*

Fifty years ago today I gave birth to my third child = a good four weeks before she was due!!. A traumatic time - rushed to hospital (was meant to be home birth), our car had died the day before (perhaps trying to push this might have been part of the reason for this early birth!!!), Then eventually had to discharge myself and prem baby from hospital as hubbie was most definitely NOT managing at home with two small children. Somehow got through it all and she is the one who so encouraged me to move to WsM (Where she and her family were living), from London three years ago.

I was 78yrs old when the move actually took place, and even with her support here, and the help of my daughter and son back in London in those last few days there, it was very very hard. In some ways, being by myself made some things actually easier than if I had still been part of a couple - as only my opinion on anything was required.

That move has turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. BUT......would never, ever move again.

Next weekend we will be having family celebrations for this 50th - the birthday girl is away this weekend at a wedding of a brother-in-law.

I love your post maytime2, you did a very brave thing in moving when you did and by yourself. I am 74 now and moved when I was 71 by myself. It was so incredibly stressful and I found great help and solice from the lovely people who came to this thread

I admire what you did. Stay with us if you can, you have wise words

Just to keep the thread "up" so to speak. I moved in February, 2019 from a 3bed terraced house to a relatively new build semi-detached, 4 years old at the time.
I had lived in the terraced house for 50 years but wanted to move as I felt the area had gone down. The elderly owners of many of the houses had died, their houses had been sold to landlords who were not particular about who moved in as long as the rent was paid. I felt more vulnerable as I got older, as I lived on my own, having been a widow for any years
I was 75 at the time and I am so glad that I moved when I did. I really think that being nearly 4 years older, I might not now be able to face the clearing out that was needed. You cannot be sentimental when you are down-sizing.
Little did we know in February 2019 of the horrible time ahead. Also by buying a new build house which is well insulated, it has made the huge increase in energy bills a little easier to bear.
What I am trying to say to those of you that are thinking of moving, do it whilst you are healthy and well enough to cope.

Yammy and anyone else procrastinating about moving, I very much agree with Franbern and would also add that it is much better to do it if still in a couple. Doing it by oneself is extremely stressful as well as tiring beyond belief. It is worth grasping the nettle and making that decision sooner rather than later

Yammy it can be much harder moving when you are older and less able. Selling/buying and the actual move is very, very stressful. Not a good idea to leave it until you really need to. A good idea to be proactive and prepare for that future when you neither of you can drive or if there is just one of you.

Sadly, so many people do leave it far too late and then find themselves not able to go through allthis stress and so end up in proeprties much too large for them, and unable to really enjoy their later lives.

Grandmabatty

I don't think that you are barmy BigBertha. I think you are being sensible. You've given the area and the house quite a while and it's clearly not for you. Life is too short to be miserable unnecessarily.

We got new neighbours just before the lockdown, they had never been to the area before and fell for the village and the age of the house.
They have just up sticks and moved to another part of the country they do not know and into a house that will have lots of amenities nearby.
If you are not happy it is a big thing and I personally dread having to downsize but will do it if and when I have to. Which will definitely be when neither of us can drive or if I am left on my own.
Sometimes I think we will be found decomposed and no one would know especially the "neighbours," and the DDs could not get through on Facetime.

Lovely to hear from you Yogi. Shame that relationships with your neighbour has not improved, but glad that parking is easier.

I do try to keep this thread 'bounced up' by posting something when no-one else has for a few days.

Good to know that other old-time contributors do read it, bt really would be good if more people told us how things are going.

The people have not yet moved into the flat upstairs heere. We were expecting them yesterday. If they have not by Monday I will contact the sellers solicitors to ask for contact for the buyers solicitors as we have protective curtains up in our lift ready for that move and need to know how long to keep them there.

It has become a lovely sunny day today, seems to be a precurser to many days of rain ahead. One of the things I am most pleased about wrt my move, is bringing my very large whirly washing line and digging a hole with a hole- borer plus staking that whirly while the two bags of concrete hardened. It stands tall and straight

I would still have strength and ability to do that now but certainly not in a few years. What I am saying is to try and get all the essentail jobs done while still able and even better if there are two of you. That includes, de-cluttering, downsizing and moving. Saving and holidays can come later

Morning all

I do come on to read, but being here 10months now, I don't have anything to say. Still have arguments with my upstairs neighbour. Parking is much better since a few neighbours moved, I can now park opposite, but outside my house won't happen unless one of my next-door neighbours move.

Pretty chilly this morning, but, fortunately, dry and reasonably bright. I attend my Introductory course to BSL on Friday mornings. 5th out of 8 weeks. Really keeps my brain vary active!!! Before I went I took the Welcome Pack upto the flat who should be moving in today. When I came back home I had expected to see a removal van at the entrance, but nothint as yet.

At myu3 discussion group yesterday a fairly new member said that she had been looing for flats, (will need to sell her house), but had not found anything that ticked her boxes. I suggested that she come to me, which she did and was absolutely delighted with the flats in our block, which ticked all the boxes and more. I have explained in the past that there ar five differnt flat layouts here, although all have 2 bathrooms, 2 bedrooms and a large living dining room. I then took her up to see the layout of one of the flats that is currntly onthe market (although very overpriced). She is going to contact that EA today and I am also going to make contact with another flat ( same layout as mine - two levels higher), I know they are waiting for probate, but might be happy to discuss a price and also be willing to wait whilst she sells her house. We wills see.

My middle child reaches her 50th birthday on Sunday, but will be away this weekend attending a wedding on her husband's side of her family, so the birthday clebrations will take place the following weekend.

Must say that whereas yeserdays' budget will only have a very small effect on my finances, etc. I am extremely concerned that there was really nothing to help so many people with young families and that there is likely to be even a higher number of children going hungry and not having proper homes over this winter. I know that I am so lucky and all my AC and g.children will be okay - my concerns really do much wider than my own.

I thought it would be a nice dry and cheery day today but it is the opposite, dark and now pouring down and chilly. I do hope the sun is up there, somewhere

I spent an hour jiggling with savings accounts, to scrape better interest rates. Out goes a sum from ns& i and back into nationwide, only 12 months and then that goes down to lower interest again. I transferred my isa for 3 years to yorkshire bs, better interest there. Later I will update my record book, all in pencil as there are always changes

I did car paperwork the other day, happy to report that my total paperwork file is completely up to date, no lurking piles that make my stomach churn. Cost of living does make my stomach churn so I am grateful that I have full cupboards for winter

Karmalady well remember when I first posted in March 2019 after my second buyer pulled out. I was at the end of my tether and didn't want to worry the children how awful it felt. Just didn't want to be living in that house anymore. Luckily they saved my bungalow for me. So many of us in those days going through the same thing . I know how much help and advice I got here . Saved my sanity knowing I wasn't the only person going through this hell.

Remember Franbern's excitement when she found her apartment after losing the first one because her sale fell through. But it worked out for the best love reading all she's up to.

Razz and her problems with the station then her move to the rental . Then traveling to different parts of the country only to move not far from her old house.

Spice in Australia and her adventures finding their new home.

Of course all your sage advice and all the gardening tips and work on your home.

Don't post here much but read it everyday.

Hopefully after Christmas people will be popping on about there moves. But then again the houses are still selling quickly here still even with the higher mortgage rates.

Take care all .

Plus all the others

Nice update Franbern, you sound cosy too

I would also love to be welcoming new buyers and sellers. We all learnt so much from each other, the process was very stressful at times and it was wonderful to be able to share those stresses on this thread

We may sound cliquey but we are not, it is just that only a few of us take time to post lately. Mainly chit chat now as the starter people are mostly well and truly settled but we want the thread to live

I have yet to need to turn on my heating. Amazing this late in the year. This morning I have finally taken off my very light-weight coverlet on my bed and replaced it with the 4.5 tog duvet. Hope I do not feel too warm tonight!!!

I am partially into winter clothers (ie wearing jumpers and my fleece lined trousers - but not needing any under clothing like thermal vests, etc.). It is getting colder so will probably need to start wearing these reasonably soon. In the evening I get into my nightie (still cotton short sleeved), and warm fleece dressing gown and then more than comfortable sitting watching tv in that with a knitted small blanket over my knees.

Before I moved I told my children that I was NEVER ,EVER going on any committee , for any reason, ever again. Broke that when I became Secretary to our Management Company, and have increasingly broken it over the last year. So, yesterday I attended my first meeting of a local access advisory committee - which was very interesting and useful, and the (with a packed lunch), went directon on to a meeting of another group whose Committee I am on. Tiring day, but very enjoyable. I am so thankful that living in a small town I am able to get to so many groups, etc. on my scooter or power chair.

It is now a year since I gave up my car, although there are the occasional time I feel I wish I could just pop downstairs and into it, must say that for the greater majority of the time I do not miss it.

The son and daughter of the previous owners of the flat that is due to complete on Friday were here yesterday carrying out final clearing out. Daughter was very emotional and I gave her a cuddle just before they left for the final time. Understandable - although they had never lived here, it had been their parents home for the last years of their lives. They gave me Thank You card and a box of chocs for my help, which I thought was very sweet of them.

As I look out from myliving roo at a totally clear blue sky, I do note that the majority of the leaves have now gone from the trees. I can now clearly see the shops on the other side of the road - so have to accept that winter is truly settling in. Makes little difference to my life - except that I do close the drapes in the Living room quite early now (about 4 pm). With the 'dark' all shut out, the flat does feel pretty cosy - even without any heating.

Would love to hear from people on here who are still in the process of selling/buying.

Just checking in for a while. Everything is good.

Carnival is spectacular, the ones I know, involved in carnival, they live and breathe it for the whole year. People come to see it from all over

I have baked cakes already this morning, doing my bit to help peak electricity supply plus warmth in the kitchen. Made a couple of very warm items of clothing for this winter, am wearing a very warm woollen robe today. Lovely difference to my comfort. Was worth making

I am feeling much more for christmas this year, could not be bothered last year and am contemplating setting my lovely christmas things into place at the beginning of december. I think this marks the end of all the work I have done to my garden and house. From now on, it is all fully self-functioning and all I need to keep up with, is general maintenance. This time last year, everything was upside down for decorating, I lost six months last year, constantly surrounded my mess

I am very well hunkered down, plenty of fuel and food, good housekeeper tbh and am soon starting hibernation stuff, including this year, re-learning how to play my new, unused, accordian that I bought and set aside just prior to thinking about moving. I gave my previous secondhand accordion to my dgd

Yet more clearing out, sheets this time as I am liking the linen so much. Easy care cotton has gone. I decided to not be precious with my linen and am using my spares on my guest beds. Visitors staying soon. Some nice costume jewellery also out. I get a nice welcome from the cs. Nice to live close to shops and am starting to be recognised

I took my car, locally this time. I had three routine jobs to be done plus a faulty abs sensor replaced. Walked home from there. They did an excellent job at half the cost of dealership and I have already booked in for service and mot in summer. Very happy that I took the plunge

I bought myself a vac with a special uv light, goodness me it highlights every spec of dust and fluff on my floors, which looked clean before I used it. I just about filled the container after doing the whole house. I like using it, a nice experience to actually see what it is doing. Fluff and dust that I could not see before

My estate agent niece said yesterday that somerset is manic, houses are still being snapped up. It is very quiet on the thread now

This morning I was up early and dressed (for me) very early as yesterday I had a text saying the fridge/freezer engineer would be here soon after 8.30 am. Now he has just rung me to say that the new computer part has not arrived so no point in him coming. Glad he let me know and will wait to hear when he can come. Does mean that how I explained the problem over the 'phone means they know what is wrong. Last time that I had a kitchen machine that required a new computer part within the first year, it cotinued to be a problem despite replacing that until I eventually made them give me a totally new machine. Hope this is not going to be the case with this F/F!!!!!!

The flat in our block is reaching the end of the sale /purchase. Exchange has taken place and complteion is this coming Friday. I have spent a little while ensuring that the Welcome Pack we give to new owners is all up to date. Another flat has just gone on the market (vastly overpriced). Going to be there a very long time. I had to prevent the EA actually putting up one of their boards on the gates which enclose oukr Main Portch. B.....Cheek....seems they thought they had permission to do this from the sellers - told them only peoople who could give such permission (and would not) is the Management Company. The woman who is selling this is the daughter of the owner who has been moved into a care home. The owner was/is a lovely lady - her daughter not so. Looks like she has priced her Mum's flat (a 2-bedroom one), on the sale price of the the last one that sold here which was a 3-bed one.

My youngest daughter has had her sale/purchase put back by one week.The whole family is getting together for a weekend for my second daughter's 50th birthday at a hotel for a Murder Dinner, etc. This means that the youngest will be away for the weeknd prior to the day she moves house!!!! It is fortunate that she decided (ages ago), not to take hubbie and children with her to that weekend.

Had a lovely evening on Friday watching the Carnival from my balcony. Incredible sight - took two hours for it fully to pass by. Could not believe how mild the weather was, not a scrap of wind - and my SiL was in a t -shirt sitting outside.

Enjoy your carnival tonight Fran sounds great. I watched the Halloween one here with fireworks after, that was really good.
Good luck to your daughter with her move.

Surely, by photocopying and sending copies both of the invoice for the service and the one for the 'repair' should be enough for this second bill to be paid for by the ones who did the servicing. Think this is worthwhile chasing up with that firms CEO or whatever. Do not think you will get much for your on dicomfort, but definitrely should not be out of pocket. Could be a case for small claims court.

My 'new' fridge/freezer has started to play up again -do wonder if I received a 'Friday afternoon' one. It is expensive and has a special 'device' in it supposedly to assist in keeping alad stuff for longer. When I firt got it, it kept icing up the stuff in this veg. drawer. Engineer came and said that the internal settings had been incorrect, and it all worked perfectly - but the last couple of days has started doing this again. Engineer coming on Monday - so we will see.

Several years back I had a large tall freezer - an expensive one. Had problem with that almost from the start, as it would ice up at the back (supposedly autho defrosting model), and this would stop the drawers goig in properly and door stayed open. Three tims over as many years I had engineers down, they told me it was a 'known fault' with that model, replaced that part (after the 2nd time). When it then happened again, I put my foot down with my proverbial firm hand, and insisted they changed it out for a totally new machine - which they did - an even larger one - which worked perfectly. Do wonder if I am a similar scenario with this FF. When working properly it is a really super machine.

My daughter has now confirmed her move taking place on 21st November. It is only about three miles from their present house - they are now trying to find a removal company. She (I am hoping it is they), want to have a new kitchen installed thre as soon as possible taking down the wall between the untility and the present kitchen - so big job.
I am loaning her the single electric hob that I used (and also loaned to my eldest daughter for her kitchen refit) for them to use during that work. Glad this little machine is getting good use. Do not envy them that work, two adults, two children and a cat. Dread to think the cost of that.

Looking forward to Carnival tomorrow evening. My daughter, SiL and two offspring still at home to me to watch from my balcony. I had just moved into this flat the last time this was held. Nothing then for the following two years. I had never seen anything like this Somerset Carnival. The sheer size, the total number of extra-ordinary, wonderful floats. I have got in pizzas and mini marshmallows (to go on Hot choc drinks), etc. ready for this.

Love your mouse story, Franbern. My boiler - now working again- had been left on the service setting by the chaps who did it a couple of months ago, only to come to light when I eventually turned on the heating. So I have had four cold days and yet another bill because someone didn’t do their job properly. Doubt I shall persuade the malefactors to admit their mistake, but won’t use them again and will make sure my neighbours hear the story.

Grannysomerset I hope you have managed to sort out your boiler problems. Not the time of year you want this to happen. We are fortunate in our flats that our Service/Maintenance charge covers a full British Gas service for our boilers and CHeating, with a 24/7 call out.

The funniest (not at the time), problem I can rememeber having with a boiler was sometime in the 1990's in our large family house. Boiler was a large, floor standing thing, boxed in. Would work fine with EITHER HOT WATER or CENTRAL HEATING - but when I tried to run both, it jukst cut out completely. Two engineers could not find anything causing this, and when it happened the thir time, I did read the riot act over the 'phone, resulting in a very senior engineer coming to us. He took the boiler apart completely and found in their the remains of a mouse. Probably this had been chased in there by one of our cats (who probably brought it into the house int he first place), scared to come out and hungry it had gnawed at a wire, partially damaging it. And it was this wire causing allthe problems.

Have heard from my youngest daughter that they now have a completion ate for 22nd November. She is an Education Psychologist and end of term is one her very busy times, so she says she can really on take one day off for this move. Means, once again, poor hubbie will have most of the work. She has a really good man - when they moved from Northern Ireland to South England, he drove a car accompanying the removal lorry on the ferry three days before she and the two girls flew over. THEN.....he had to return to Ireland to collect HER car!!! As this is their 6th move (okay, three of them rentals between moves), in ten years, hopefully, they are going to stay put for a good long time now.

My eldest daughter has finally secumbed to Covid. Amazing how she went through those early days (before it was noticed she was EV and should not be going into work), mixed amongst many of her staff who were ill with it - but only now after all her jabs, has gone down with it. As far as I can make out very mildly.

Today I have the first of my many groups 'Xmas Dinners'. Not actually having a Christmas meal, just going out to a restaurant instead of our usual monthly meeting. Looking forward to it. Bright and sunny today after all the rain yesterday.

Love to hear how other house movers are actually getting on. Seems to be slower and slower at present.

Boiler has chosen today to expire (fear it may be terminal) and I can’t get anyone to look at it till Tuesday; I had to play the poor old lady to get an appointment that soon. So a tiresome weekend with electric heaters and a shower and hair wash next door. Life is full of frustrations though I have finally sorted our the energy provider who wanted to charge me £4500 for four summer months of usage. Win a few, lose a few.

Hello Franbern, I'm so pleased to see you back folks. I love this thread. Over the last few days I have popped in, but no one there. I have noticed Karmalady is posting on the GM thread now. You are very wise KL not to be cycling in slippery conditions.
It's a beautiful autumn day here (Oxfordshire). I'm about to have an early lunch, then pop to the shops.

lifts can be so problematic and expensive and necessary

Watching the gymnastics Franbern, must be bringing back lots of memories for you

Thankfully, a lovely sunny morning and a big wash on the line. Went to the shops and got myself a nice sistema soup mug, ideal for second fermentation of my hm kefir. I will use it for my overnight oats, which is really muesli, walnuts, sour cherries and cacao nibs. I soak that mix all night in my kefir

I did want to go cycling today but leaves are wet and slippery, met a man with a broken collar bone today, his bike went over a few days ago. Could happen to anyone

House is warm and cosy, I raised the downstairs temperature by half a degree and it overall made a big difference. Everything is good here, no problems. Car drive to wales and back yesterday, horrible busy motorways. Lovely in wales but very glad to get back

Thought this needed a li ttle 'bump' up. I am on my third week of an eight week course in Introduction to BSL. So, out this morning quite early for this. Always wanted a bigger udnerstanding of this sign language. It is extremely interesting - glad I am doing it, but this intro course is about as far I will be capable of going.

Then on to my u3a history book club this afternoon, going direct from my course as I will be about half way there, so taking a packed lunch and will eat that in the Group Leader kitchen. Interesting book this month on the Mitford Family.

Yesterday afternoon our lift started to make the most horrendous noise. Had to turn the whole thing off. Engineers phoned, signs of Out of Order put up (my exercise for the week climing all those stairs!!!. Engineer arrived at 8.30 in the evening (I was rather taken aback when her rang the bell to my flat from theMain ntrance).and was here until 11.30. It needs a new component but he has managed to do a temporary repair to give us the lift back. Fortunately, the lovely cttee man who deals with anythng to do with the building stayed up for the engi neer, I only found out what had happened this morning.

I am enjoying being able to watch the Gymnastics World Championships every evening on television, so many people are there - so feeling a little left out at home. My son lives within easy driving distance of the Arena in Liverpool. Think if I still had a car I might have gone up there. But probably mich better for me (at myj age), not to do so and watch it on television!!!!

Still no news on the flat here completing - and also waiting to hear further from my youngest daughter about her proposed move.

Happy anniversary Fran