The men load the dishwasher

My husband still has a school report from his boarding school in 1960. One comment is “ very good around the house” It doesn’t matter who does what as long as it gets done. When I first met him he could cook and I couldn’t. He does a lot of the cooking and he usually does the Sunday roast. I let him get on and do things around the house as he might well have to do it all himself one day. One thing is certain and that is that one of will be doing it on our own so it’s good that we share the domestic stuff. I do all the cleaning up after as he’s messy.

He does put things in the DW and he will sometimes unload it. He likes to think that he does everything better than me and I’m going to let him go on thinking that he does but I know better. He is capable of making a terrible mess in the kitchen and he wouldn’t know how to clean a work surface. He can and does put the washing on the cloths pulley. He’s very helpful around the kitchen but I wouldn’t say that he was very good around the house.

My husband is the same. Rinses everything first so it's practically spotless. I leave him to it. I know if I put an odd cup or plate in he'll put it "in the right place" for me. Who am I to spoil his fun?

Sparklefizz

Someone I knew had 2 dishwashers! They never unloaded the clean stuff but used it as a cupboard once crockery had been washed and dried, and took out clean plates as they needed them, and then put them in the 2nd d/w to be washed... then reversed the process. They reckoned it saved a lot of time and hassle.

I have a dishwasher, which broke down just before Christmas, and couldn't be fixed until the New Year. I only have a small draining board, so after I hand-washed the plates etc. I put them in the dishwasher to drain and dry. Worked a treat.

I always have to reload (discreetly) when my husband loads it. Everything in haphazard. He's not too bad at hanging out washing but I still rehang my stuff.
When I read comments about 'pink/blue' stuff it makes me smile as blue was historically the traditional colour for the female. I gather it was a surplus of pink material post war in America which led to 'pink' becoming the 'girly' colour. The power of advertising.

Years ago, when we moved in together prior to our marriage, (do I hear shocked surprise at this admission?) we divided household tasks between us, according to ability, and liking.

The system has worked fairly well, as I do not comment upon the way my husband saws anything, mends punctured tyres etc. as I certainly cannot do it better, and he does not comment on how I manage my tasks - even those he can do as well as I.

Due to his poor health, all cooking and cleaning is now solely my province and DH would not dream of telling me how to do it! He would, of course, get very short shrift if he did.

Regarding washing and how to hang it out: we all were taught by some elder female member of our family. In my case, a great-aunt. Her system is probably different from my mother-in-law's - I must remember to ask my sisters-in-law, but as DH does not hang washing out, or do it, our washing is hung out the way Aunt Isa taught me and will be till my dying day, always provided I am still able to hang washing out when that day approaches.

I’m not concerned about who packs the dishwasher - let him do it!!

My concern is how your husband starts nit-picking away at you for things other than the dishwasher, and is it getting worse? (Retirement definitely gives him more time to take control - hah!)

The solution, and I see it happening all the time - husband retires, wife goes out to work. (volunteer work or part time job)
His appreciation for you will increase.
Cheers!
USA Gundy

I don't know any married couples who don't disagree about how to load the dishwasher. Since they say that couples who quarrel stay together because they resolve difficulties unlike those who harbour silent, explosive resentment, perhaps dishwasher confrontation is a sign of a healthy marriage.

That said, I can load the wish-dosher better than the other half - but I don't rub his nose in it.

I'm a total control freak when it comes to loading the dishwasher.........................

I hate dishwashers.I don't have space for one anyway.I've been in houses that use them and find I can wash/dry up far quicker and much more cheaply.Also save on electric.
My lovely hubbie cooks and sorts the kitchen out most of the time. I'm so lucky!

I load, he unloads. Now can't find the defrosting plate............ but he is lovely.

Mine does it too, though sometimes I redo it a bit to get extra things in. There really isn't much point in rinsing plates which wastes water, he simply scrapes any food into the compost bin.
He does empty the machine too, as he gets up at the crack of dawn - but he doesn’t know where most things live in the kitchen!
I had a friend who would rinse the plates until they were virtually clean, then stack them two to a slot in the dishwasher. She really just used it as an expensive drying machine!

We don't have a dishwasher so therefore we don't have this problem. However, I do have a particular way of folding clean tea towels and bath/hand towels. It also irritates me to watch anyone peg my laundry out - I am ok once it is done, apart from how MrP pegs out his shirts.........aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!

My next dishwasher will be like my last but one- with the cutlery tray on top- that way all dry well without marks, and so easy to grab all forks, knives, etc, if you put them on tray together.

When I empty the dishwasher at ACs, I will always put to the side anything I am not absolutely sure where it 'lives'- and ask one of the GCs to show me where it goes, so I know for next time.

Living alone my dishwasher only goes on about once a week soI do rinse otherwise it would smell horrible by the time it was full enough to switch on. The only other thing I’m fussy about is loading the cutlery baskets. Knives in one compartment, forks in another and so on. It just makes unloading so much easier when you can grab a handful of knives or whatever and transfer them to their compartment in the drawer without having to sort them out. If I’ve had guests helping to clear up after dinner I do surreptitiously rearrange the cutlery baskets.

My adult son lives with me and we both load and unload the dishwasher depending on who’s around. The only problem is that when he unloads I have the play find the utensil. He once stored all the chefs knives in the utensil jar and frequently puts utensils in the cutlery draw. Drives me mad but I bite my tongue (mostly), grateful for the help.

When I needed help from my children to hang the clothes because I was in pain, they said "they dry anyway!" when I commented...

DH washes anything before he puts it in the dishwasher and also stacks really badly. I try to keep control of the d/w otherwise it would be going on half empty if left to MrL.

BigBertha1

Not in this house. If rather be didn't do anything in the kitchen...too chaotic...everything gets out in haphazardly and I can't find anything that's been put away. As for hanging out washing no no no.

Hahaha Same in this house !!!

When I was married and we had a dishwasher, my then husband would criticise how I loaded it. I realise now that this was one of his ways of trying to undermine me as, shortly before I divorced him his comments had progressed to the ‘fact’ that I didn’t clean the cooker hob ‘to his standards’. I now live alone. I don’t have - or need - a dishwasher, and my cooker hob, along with the rest of my house, is spotless.

OH insisted upon buying a dishwasher may years ago. It is his toy, he loads and unoads it, and if I do ever put anything in, it is usually moved with the announcement 'It won't wash loaded that way'. We also have a pre wash cycle if we aren't careful - small dog thinks standing on the open lid and exploring the 'buffet' is her treat - ugh!

I think most people agree it is better to hang trousers on the washing line upside down. The weight of the water is in the waistband/pockets/zip area so that pulls the legs back into shape and any stored water falls out of the material.

Same here

I mostly load the dishwasher, but it is not sacrosanct. I only rinse off really sticky things. Sometimes I scrub a lasagne dish first, but it still goes in the dishwasher as well. We each rearrange things to get more in if necessary. I unload before breakfast and put away.
DH is coming out of hospital soon and all the jobs will fall to me for a while. As soon as he is strong enough, I intend to find jobs he can do, rather than the rut we have been in, so our whole regime will change.
I haven’t used the dishwasher very much whilst I have been on my own, but it is surprising how soon the draining board fills up when I wash up once a day.

AussieGran59 Who said anything about pink and blue jobs? This is lighthearted and I can assure you the chores are split equally in this house. We work together to get things done, like a well oiled machine. I just thought it was funny that a lot of men seem to like loading dishwashers. I think you’re right, Maw, that they like machines. I must admit he’s good at fitting everything into the dishwasher, whereas I am the better cook. This doesn’t make us relics from the 1950s.

Indeed.

We weren't ever relics of pink and blue. Married in 1959, I can do anything needed to keep our home-life working smoothly, he was never around much for the first few years, two jobs and long hours. I garden, decorate, do minor repairs, accomplish the money journal (his work one as well), deal with trades, and most important make a warm and loving home for us and our children. However, we each have talents, mine include the dishes and his include daily washing oiling polishing worktops/ table, whilst I do dishes.