Moving from house to flat

I moved from a house to a much smaller flat on the edge of a city 18 months ago. I’m very glad I did it. I’m still quite fit but in my early 70s and thinking of the future and the possibility of not being able to drive. I have a much busier social life as there are so many opportunities to meet people living in a city. I love theatre and concerts and volunteer as an usher in a large arts centre. No more worries about fences blowing down and trees needing pruning!
You have to accept that you will have to get rid of most of your furniture and possessions when moving from a large house to a flat. I found that difficult but I’ve saved my children from having to do it one day!
The only downside for me is that I can no longer have my son and his family to stay but they live on the other side of the world and rarely visit. When they do I shall rent somewhere for them for a few weeks.
Good luck with your decision!

Obviously check services charges and for any major works coming up in future such as the lift, roof etc so you aren't caught out later on. Roofs need replacing every so often so check when it was last done. I moved to a beautiful flat, absolutely lovely, until a woman with problems moved in below is and screamed and hammered on her ceiling at all hours of the night and day for no apparent reason except she'd taken against us. We got on well with the others in the block. We moved and she did the same to the next occupant, although she has since moved on. Neighbours are what makes a home pleasant really. The horrible woman wasn't the main reason we moved (she could be quiet for months after a few weeks of vile behaviour, probably needed mental health care, although in all my years as a mental health worker I've never found patients that unpleasent), we also had an adult child needing care and wanted more room. Now in a 4 story house, would prefer a flat but nothing big enough round here. I think it's possible that your kids are just busy with their own lives and moving isn't a big deal to them. Overall, I think the flat was one of my favourite homes, of any I've lived in, and there have been many. Cheap to run, warm, good location, nice views, mostly good neighbours, secure....

I am nearly 74 and my wife of 48 years died 2 and a half years ago.I was alone in a 4 bedroom house in a small market town 70miles from my daughter and the same distance from my son and grandkids.
After a year I decided to downsize and moved to a one bed retirement flat in a small city close to my daughter and 50miles from my son.
Getting rid of stuff was difficult but had to be done.As my name says I have made a new life for myself and am very happy.I am still fit,have no money worries and glad that I made the move while I was still able.
No regrets after 18 months.

Some years ago I bought a flat with my divorce settlement and it was lovely in every way, even a little garden out the front. But the neighbours from hell moved into the flat above me and proceeded to make life very difficult with their horrendous noise . A long story, but it ended in a court case and I sold the flat and bought a house.
You just need to be careful who lives adjacent to you in flats.
It's your decision and I'm sure your family will understand. Good luck.

Cheesey

Your new apartment and life sounds fabulous !! Well done you and enjoy !

We do have children and intend to downsize - we have a very large age gap between the oldest two and younger three so younger three 20,22 & 25 still currently living at home. Last year we gave them five years notice of our intentions and would like a nice bungalow in either a very small town or large village, currently our bedroom is in the lift up two flights of stairs !

Loft not lift 😂😂😂

Sounds great OP - being in the centre of activities with no issues re transport and less worry about increasing maintenance and energy costs. Nobody should stay where they don’t want to - I’m sure your children have chosen where they wanted to live.

Make sure you won't miss a gardener garden space. I never realised what a garden meant to me until I didn't have one. A friend of mine, aged73, moved to a flat. Now aged 75 she is moving back to a house with a small garden.

I can't imagine that they all disapprove of your decision and it might be worth checking that your message actually went. I doubt you've been daft enough not to press the button like me but sometimes messages just get stuck occasionally. However, even if they have all received the message, it sounds like they might have thought that they were just being informed of your decision so didn't need to comment.
Do what you want to do in your living arrangements but try not to worry about what your family thinks. There is no reason for you to involve them in your decisions if it doesn't affect them.

I moved to a flat 18 years ago. I am now 81 . I absolutely LOVE it.

Go for it. You won't regret it. (IMO)

So many great replies! Thank you so much everyone! 🙏 I had a chat with family yesterday and found them so supportive and understanding. I think I was letting my own insecurity/anxiety get the better of me. Moving house is awful at the best of times but I’m now actually looking forward to it. So glad I shared on here. Collective wisdom! 🥰

So pleased to hear that you've spoken to your family and hoping that your move will go well,

🙏

I wouldn't assume that silence from your offspring means disapproval. I'd be more focused on your own comment about being "not entirely confident anyway". There's a lot to think about - not just the suitability of the apartment but also the location. You mention "city apartment". Are you currently in a city? If not, how do you feel about city life? It would be nice if you could discuss all the pros and cons of this with your offspring. I wish you the very best with your move whatever you decide on, and I envy you being able to make this choice. I'm struggling in a house that's too big and would love an apartment or bungalow but DH is adamant he won't move. Says we are managing fine...

I downsized just as covid struck. I had considered going to a flat but decided to go to an end terrace but I'm thinking of this as perhaps a 10 year move before going to a flat in my 70s. I'd stayed in my previous house for almost 30 years. I think we all need to consider our possible health needs as we age which is why I'm considering around 10 years.

i am in a similar situation, its a 3 bed bungalow,big gardens, too much everything...... i have been offered living in a granny flat with my son, but that comes with too many problems!
I am one for writing pros and cons lists ,but i found in the past ,they rarely work, my thoughts get caught up in both sides of the coin.I read a book recently ,called gut feelings by gerd gigerenzer,one of the chapters is titled, one good reason is enough, it has changed my views on making decisions ,stick to one main good reason to make a decision, the rest will trip you up! good luck.

I sold up and moved onto a flat no garden which I miss no stairs which I don't miss decluttered good thing don't get lonely as I still get out do what's best for you . your kids do what they want and don't consider us go for it

I don’t know how to reply to so many brilliant responses to my original post. So grateful to everyone. You’ve collectively lifted a weight from shoulders. Hopeless at using the site. Do I respond to everyone individually or will a great big 🙏 get to everyone?

I moved from house to flat eight years ago.Strange at first but oh so much easier to manage.It took me about four or five weeks to settle ,I came in one day and thought I am glad to be home.I knew then all would be well.So go for it while you still can and make your life easier.Good luck.

Really only you can and should decide what you want to do.´, but there are points to consider.

Right now, I too think you should make a list of pros and cons.

On the con side: life in a block of flats can be noisy - we moved out of a flat when we got new neighbours who allowed their children to run, jump off chairs or sofas, and shout and scream at all hours of the day in the flat just above ours.

City live was becoming hard to put up with too on account of pollution, our bikes being stolen regularly, or not so bad, but still annoying moved from where we had put them, or had their tyres deflated.

Post was delivered to neighbours who did not bother to hand it in, and no amount of complaining to the postal service did any good.

Rates, local taxes etc. are likely to be higher in the city than in a country area.

Right now when considering a move you need to be very conscious of what kind of heating the flat has and what it costs.

Obvious pros are that you will probably be within easy reach of shops, doctor, etc.., able to go to concerts, the theatre, museums and the like if your budget allows and these things interest you.

Please do not assume that if you move nearer your children and grand-children you will automatically see more of them. Plenty of gransnetters have been disapointed in this respect.

If after listing pros and cons you still feel the need of advice, by all means contact your children, but do please make it clear whether you want their advice, or are simply informing them as to what you have made your mind up to do.

The reason they have not been in touch since you broached the matter could be that they did not realise that you wanted to discuss things- if they thought you were merely informing them of your intentions then they may not have felt they had anything useful to say.

AJgranma* - this one reply is perfectly fine. UNless you actually would like some very spefcific information from anyone, then you could send them a message.
Hope you do let us know your final decision and how you get on.

I would start looking and then ask whether they would like to view any with you.
My mother downsized to a flat in an assisted living block. (65 flats on 3 floors in two blocks) She lived totally independent but there were activities to join in with if she wanted - organised by the residents and overseen by the manager. She loved it there. Everybody had to be over 60 (some places are now over 65 - pension ages) and she could walk to the shops.
Unfortunately, after 10 years there and the onset of dementia we have had to move her into a home.

Hi
I think they think if they ignore it won’t happen. Also could feel sad you are leaving grandchildren. You must do what is right for you. Good luck.

I keep thinking my next move will be to an apartment although where I live now in a house is well served for transport and shops.
They’ve built absolutely loads of retirement village style apartment blocks not far from me - I have viewed a couple of them. They are absolutely beautiful inside and there seems to be a wonderful community spirit. However the apartments I think are on sale at inflated prices. For instance a couple I know sold their three bedroom house nearby but could only afford a one bedroomed apartment in the holiday village. There also seems to be restrictions on how they are sold on after a person has died or gone into a home and service charges still have to be paid whilst on sale.
The service charges are really high too - I was shocked when I saw what it was and that was a couple of years ago - they sell the village idea to you by saying it includes electricity and internet. Maybe they’re thinking you’d be on attendance allowance or the like and would be able to afford the high service charge. One holiday of the holiday villages is run by a charity so surely they can’t be ripping people off ??
Has anyone else met with these type of concerns?

In addition to the high service charges and high initial costs, many of the organisations who run these retirement complexes also take a share of the sale price when the property is eventually sold. They do appear to simply be very profitable businesses.