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Why are some people sniffy about living in a semi detached house?

(160 Posts)
mantaray Sat 17-Jun-23 12:27:28

I live in the South East in a 4 bed semi in a lovely area. We tried to move to a bigger detached house when the kids were small and were gazumped twice. This put us off and we built on another bedroom and bathroom. Eventually moving was put on the back burner what with our children's after school and weekend sports and then their GCSEs and A levels .Our road is very wide and the houses have very large gardens, but I've been amazed by people who have said wouldn't you like to be detached even if that just means living in a box that is no bigger than our present house. There are several people in our road who own two or three houses so it's not as if people were poor around here and we could afford to move easily but are happy here. Another of my neighbours (they own three houses) said that people are incredulous that they don't move. A friend of mine who has relocated from the south East to the Midlands says its the curse of the South East. Has anybody else experienced this kind of snobbery?

nexus63 Mon 19-Jun-23 11:56:39

i have always lived in glasgow, either in tenements or now in a small block of flats, i have neighbours above, below and either side, my dream was to win the lottery and buy a house with no neighbours so i could make as much noise as i want, never going to happen, 60 next month and have so many health problems with clinics and i don't drive due to epilepsy, but it is nice to dream when the idiots upstairs are still paying music at 4am. i would have been happy with a semi or a detached house.

Doodledog Mon 19-Jun-23 11:46:53

Quizzer

It all depends on your neighbours. We had one house with thin walls and neighbours who shouted all the time.
My mother’s long term neighbour was a good classical pianist who would often play and was a delight to listen to.
My in laws neighbour was also a pianist but more of the Les Dawson variety. Many wrong notes and try that bit again.

grin grin

We once (briefly) had a concert pianist next door, and yes, it was lovely. She wanted her children to grow up musical, however, and their efforts on the recorder and violin were less so, however grin. It was a 'between houses' rental, and they only stayed a short while, but I'm sure that as the children got more proficient they would also have been a delight to listen to.

win Mon 19-Jun-23 11:46:35

I was brought up in two rooms with a bathroom, minute hall and a narrow long kitchen nothing else. My parents, a brother 8 years older and myself lived in it until I was 19 years of age. We rented and latterly parents bought the leasehold for the flat. My parents had several opportunities to have a larger flat but always declined they loved their flat. It is not where you live or what you have but whether you make it your home. I have loved all 13 homes I have had since then. I have ended up in a 3 bedroom semi near the sea and central to most amenities, believe me is is luxury to me.

LeeN137 Mon 19-Jun-23 11:45:43

Some people have to be sniffy about anything.

Treetops05 Mon 19-Jun-23 11:44:45

Yes, in our first home on moving to Devon. We had 4 we wanted to see, 3 detached and one semi...The agent said 'oh, you don't want to look at a semi ^surely?'

We looked and for various reasons it didn't work, too many internal steps. The agent was very...I told you so, we moved agents.

Doodledog Mon 19-Jun-23 11:44:19

So no, I don’t care for snobbiness about detached houses which, especially the new builds, are often smaller inside and out!

Of course they are, Amalegra. We moved from a 30s semi to an Edwardian terrace because the terrace is bigger, better soundproofed, far better placed for access to amenities and generally (in our opinion) a better house.

A friend (who lives in a 'compact' detached house on an estate) couldn't believe that we were, in her view, 'moving down', as she thinks that the 'pecking order' is flat/terrace/semi/detached with no consideration of space, area, style or anything else. I think that is nonsense, and (not that it matters outside of the discussion on this thread) our terrace is worth twice the price of her detached house. Not all terraces are like the ones in Coronation Street, and not all detached houses are like the ones in Poirot, where people commit murder to inherit them grin.

Also, some of the owners of the semis where I used to live have extended upstairs over the garages, so bits of the road are, effectively now terraced. They now have more space (a typical extension adds a bedroom and bathroom upstairs and extends the kitchen or dining room downstairs) but have effectively paid a lot of money to become terrace-dwellers.

It's all a lot of estate agent speak, I think. They know they can get more money by talking up the advantages of being detached, even though there is often only a small alley between one house and the next, and the gardens are joined anyway. Of course a large, older detached house with a walled garden or 'grounds' would be most people's choice (I think) but in the world of Mr and Ms Average to get that in a good area is out of reach.

Quizzer Mon 19-Jun-23 11:43:42

It all depends on your neighbours. We had one house with thin walls and neighbours who shouted all the time.
My mother’s long term neighbour was a good classical pianist who would often play and was a delight to listen to.
My in laws neighbour was also a pianist but more of the Les Dawson variety. Many wrong notes and try that bit again.

albertina Mon 19-Jun-23 11:37:28

Yes.

My new next door neighbours have come from a 5 bed detached. They talk constantly about the difference in a way that says they regret the move.

As for me, I lost my house when my children were very small and my husband refused to pay maintenance. I lost the bungalow I rented because the owner hadn't told the mortgage company he had let the place to a tenant. I had 6 weeks to get out. Happily by then I was working full time and got a quarter share in a property ( shared ownership)

What I am trying to say is that I am happy to have roof over my head.

Mollie3 Mon 19-Jun-23 11:31:57

I had three lots of neighbours from hell at two different addresses and a play area (frequented byteenagers) kindly erected by the council without consultation with anyone, 12 meters from my property. I would love to live in a detached house in the middle of a field that I ownedsmile

polnan Mon 19-Jun-23 11:31:17

because they can afford it!

Amalegra Mon 19-Jun-23 11:26:22

When we bought our second house the primary concern was size of rooms (for general purposes!) size of garden (for me) and size of garage (for my husband). We looked at several properties, including a lovely four bed detached fairly new one. But they all lost out in all three respects to a large Victorian terrace which ticked all the boxes, and then some, being in a leafy pedestrianised road in a heritage area. We extended into the large loft space eventually for the fourth en-suite bedroom. It was a lovely family home and I have such happy memories of it and the lovely neighbours we had. So no, I don’t care for snobbiness about detached houses which, especially the new builds, are often smaller inside and out!

fifeywifey Mon 19-Jun-23 11:23:00

I do remember when I was working years ago, a colleague in her late teens was telling me where she lived. She made a point of saying it was a detached house and that her mother thought you got a "nicer class of person in a detached house". It took me all my time to keep a straight face!

Romola Mon 19-Jun-23 11:22:25

I live in a "link-detached" house but my neighbour, who seems to care about such things, denies that it's a semi, which it sort of is. Actually, I feel snobby about her, I find her attitude really small-minded.

LisaP Mon 19-Jun-23 11:21:15

I have just moved from the South (Hampshire) to the Midlands (Lincolnshire) and we have a beautiful 1900 Victorian Terrace - we havent experienced snobbery, but some people are very quick to say.. 'why on earth do you want to live here' - but we love where we live and we love the house. Surely its personal preference and choice and who cares what other people think or say.

Jaibee12 Mon 19-Jun-23 11:19:59

I’ve lived in a large detached house, a first floor maisonette, a flat in a block, a semi detached bungalow, a semi detached house and now an end of terrace house. Yes, I’ve moved a lot in my life and I’ve found that in all places it was the convenience of the area and the neighbours who made it what it was/is. And yes, I do think there is some snobbery about it in the South East, where I have always lived.

M0nica Sun 18-Jun-23 18:33:52

I have spent 40 years of my married life living in a semi and only 10 in a detached property and no one has ever made any snotty remark to me, although some one once did take exception to my living in a detached property.

Mind you when your semi is nearly 600 years old, that is generally the last thing people are likely to remark on.

Oreo Sun 18-Jun-23 14:35:05

The point isn’t about a detached house being preferable ( it is!) but about snobby remarks being aimed at those of us ( who live in a semi or a terrace) by certain people you come across in life, and oh yeah! They are def around.

hollysteers Sun 18-Jun-23 11:37:47

Haven’t experienced any sniffiness, but never lived in a semi. Grew up in an inner city two up two down, outside loo, no bathroom, now all raized to the ground. John Lennon’s semi in the same city was posh
(working class hero😁)

Now live In detached split level bungalow and just as well as I have spent my life as a professional singer and teacher. A lot of noise going on…
I sometimes wish my detached neighbours were friendlier, but couldn’t live attached to anyone now as I still sing.

Lauren59 Sun 18-Jun-23 11:12:23

Germanshepherdsmum

Lauren59

Just because many if you haven’t had the same experience as the OP doesn’t make this a “strange post”. We have snifiness right here on this thread.

Do we? It’s not sniffy to say you prefer a detached home, and why. I haven’t noticed anyone being sniffy. We’re all different in our preferences. That doesn’t mean looking down on people who make other choices.

You’re missing my point entirely, GSM. The OP asked why people are sniffy about living in a semi-detached house. Some of the replies stated that they’d never experienced that and called it a “strange post”. That dismissiveness (and yes, sniffiness) about OP’s experience in calling it a “strange post” is my point of reference.

henetha Sun 18-Jun-23 11:11:02

I never came across this sort of snobbery back in the days when I lived in a variety of houses, semi-detached sometimes.
But when I needed to downsize to this Park home, one of the advantages is that it's detached and I realised for the first time how great that is.

Callistemon21 Sun 18-Jun-23 10:38:27

In NZ we had lived in our single story wooden house like all the others
And I made the mistake of calling a friend's single storey house in New Zealand a bungalow. She was most put out, even though I said I loved it!

Callistemon21 Sun 18-Jun-23 10:37:03

Grammaretto

When I was a newly arrived immigrant aged 10, to SW London in the 1950s I was accused of living in a semi detached house!
I can still remember the feeling of helplessness. I didn't know what it meant as I had never heard the term. Was our house being insulted? I was already mocked for my accent.
In NZ we had lived in our single story wooden house like all the others.
Yes I did come across a strange culture.

Later I learned that I was being accused of being a snob because a semi was aspirational for the families who lived in poorer areas in small terraced houses or more often, multiple occupied large old houses. --the kind which now sell for millions--

As long as it was in the right road in SW London, not too far from the station for commuting, you were ok, Grammaretto!
I do think it existed in some areas, thankfully not so much now.

😁

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 18-Jun-23 08:44:23

Not snobby, just that we enjoy not being attached to any other property, I think that the noise of our TV (MrOops isn’t going deaf of course, just needs it turned up a bit 🫤)

Our first houses were attached, now we can enjoy being detached with space around us for privacy.

NotSpaghetti Sun 18-Jun-23 08:24:34

It's not just noise that can be an issue with attached properties- sometimes is can be lack of noise.

It can be having to take bins to-and-fro through someone's garden (or have them through yours.
It can be having to liaise regarding access for workmen (even though it's in the Victorian deeds as a right at any time ) so as not to create problems and nastiness...
It's about dogs and rights of way...
It's about shared internal/external walls and planning.
It's about climbing plants.

Generally it's about proximity - it worked fine for us for maybe 10 years. It doesn't work now.
Next move will be to a detached even if tiny - but with more than a metre between us!

Oreo Sun 18-Jun-23 08:09:56

mantaray

I know it might seem an odd post to some people, but I've twice in the last month been asked if we ever wanted to be detached. I'm glad that no-one else has experienced this kind of snobbery. I think it's as my friend said, a curse of the South East.

Your not alone thinking this, we are in an old terrace and I’ve heard several comments over the years from friends and people I work with about how awful it must be to live sandwiched between other houses.It’s crass to say this, yeah ideally I would like a lovely detached house somewhere tho not a small box type one on an estate.