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Why are some people sniffy about living in a semi detached house?

(160 Posts)
mantaray Sat 17-Jun-23 12:27:28

I live in the South East in a 4 bed semi in a lovely area. We tried to move to a bigger detached house when the kids were small and were gazumped twice. This put us off and we built on another bedroom and bathroom. Eventually moving was put on the back burner what with our children's after school and weekend sports and then their GCSEs and A levels .Our road is very wide and the houses have very large gardens, but I've been amazed by people who have said wouldn't you like to be detached even if that just means living in a box that is no bigger than our present house. There are several people in our road who own two or three houses so it's not as if people were poor around here and we could afford to move easily but are happy here. Another of my neighbours (they own three houses) said that people are incredulous that they don't move. A friend of mine who has relocated from the south East to the Midlands says its the curse of the South East. Has anybody else experienced this kind of snobbery?

LRavenscroft Sat 17-Jun-23 14:27:31

Yes, I have come across this snobbery where I live (south west). We have lived on the same estate for 60 years (house belonged to parents beforehand) and absolutely love it. We know everyone and all the neighbours have seen us grow old and we have seen their children grow up. If someone passes away there is a joint effort to go to the funeral and drop in condolence cards etc. We have often been asked if we have a problem living cheek by jowl with our neighbours in terraced houses on a main road and the answer is 'No'. I belong to the U3A and don't ask people back to my house as you can see the look of disdain because our house in not as posh, large or modern as theirs. The bathroom fittings are 60 years old and the kitchen is 30 years old - all perfectly functional and clean.

Greyduster Sat 17-Jun-23 14:20:13

No. We lived in a semi for thirty years and loved the house. We had plans drawn up to extend it, until my attached neighbour became an absolute nightmare. She made our lives a living hell, and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown so we scrapped plans to extend and we moved. One of the criteria was that we should not be attached to anyone else. It was the best move we ever made. It’s a lovely quiet area and the neighbours are the best we could have imagined.

Jaxjacky Sat 17-Jun-23 14:19:38

Some people are just ‘sniffy’ manteray not pleasant.
I’ve lived in Hampshire for most of my adult life and not encountered this, downsized from detached to semi 20 odd years ago after divorcing.
Our neighbours were here before me, we’ve had momentary hiccups, resolved by a quick chat.

crazyH Sat 17-Jun-23 14:17:22

As long as the adjoining neighbours are fine, what’s the problem? Personally I haven’t, but it wouldn’t bother me. And in some cases, might be an advantage ie if, like me you live alone, it just takes a few taps on the wall to alert your neighbours, if you’re in trouble. Shame I didn’t think of this, when I down sized a few years ago 😂

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 17-Jun-23 14:03:26

I like plenty of space around me. Distance from my neighbours, even though they are quiet. It’s the way I am. Husband is exactly the same.

NotAGran55 Sat 17-Jun-23 14:03:19

I’ve lived my entire life in the South East and have never heard of this issue.

Semis and terraces are known as ‘clipped-on’ houses and detached are ‘unclipped’ in our house, after my 3 year asked why some houses are clipped onto each other 😃

TerriBull Sat 17-Jun-23 14:00:25

No! I grew up in one.

There aren't any semis for under one million in the part of West London we moved away from.

Nannarose Sat 17-Jun-23 13:55:46

When we bought our second house, I was almost amused by the description 'detached' as it had a 1m alley on either side - it was a new 70s house, and for odd reasons we could get it with a smaller deposit than older houses.
But having lived in both a terrace and a semi, I soon realised that even a small gap made a huge difference in sound. So like others, I understand the desire to live in a 'detached'. We stayed there until building our own house (just for us - so detached!)
I've had 2 friends who have lived in enormous old 'semis' with such thick walls that you got no noise at all - but they are rare.

But as others have said, folk can be 'sniffy' about anything. In fact, when we were selling it, we had feedback of 'couldn't possibly have a shared drive' (it was just the drive entrance that was double width & shared - it then branched into 2).

I also ditched a few 'friends' who were 'sniffy' about 'a new 70s box'. We knew we were lucky to have such a nice home.

I am also told that semis, however large, rarely fetch the same price as an equivalent detached. For most of us, home and comfort is the important thing. I understand for some, the actual value of the house is important - but no reason to be 'sniffy'.
Actually, an amusing thread would be all the idiotic things that some folk will find to look down their noses at!

Smileless2012 Sat 17-Jun-23 13:54:20

We had the same experience in the 80's Grannynannywanny. The detached version of the semi we did buy, wasn't as big due to an integral garage. We paid extra to have one built and was still quite a bit less than the detached.

We were tempted but decided it was too much of a risk if the interest rate on a mortgage went up significantly. Thank goodness we didn't because when it went up to 15%we'd have been in serious financial trouble.

Sara1954 Sat 17-Jun-23 13:53:01

I’m not bothered. But my husband always wants detached, it’s not snobbery, he was raised on a farm. and likes space around him.

mokryna Sat 17-Jun-23 13:41:24

I think British people in general tend to look down on flat dwellers.

Kate1949 Sat 17-Jun-23 13:40:33

I've never given two hoots about material things. They mean absolutely nothing to me. I have had far more serious things to deal with.

Blondiescot Sat 17-Jun-23 13:33:58

Granmarderby10

mantaray there are so very many things for people to be “sniffy” about though aren’t there?
Whether you drive or not if yes what car
Did you go to University if so which one
Where you holiday/ if you holiday,
Do you own your home or rent it and if you rent is it private or “social” and so on and so forth.
Where do you shop for your clothing/ food and groceries/what phone and how old it is.
The very important thing to bear in mind is are you happy 😊

I haven’t actually got a sea view either except in my head if you know what I mean 😉

Oh, so true! Some people will find any excuse just to look down their nose at others. As long as you are content in yourself, that's all that matters.

ronib Sat 17-Jun-23 13:27:33

It’s good if you have the budget to buy a detached house or any house. The jump in the south east from a two bed flat to an average family house is fast becoming a dream for many young families.
Greece is offering mortgages which are interest free!
So no snobbery here just outrage at the economic crisis we have created.

Granmarderby10 Sat 17-Jun-23 13:22:48

mantaray there are so very many things for people to be “sniffy” about though aren’t there?
Whether you drive or not if yes what car
Did you go to University if so which one
Where you holiday/ if you holiday,
Do you own your home or rent it and if you rent is it private or “social” and so on and so forth.
Where do you shop for your clothing/ food and groceries/what phone and how old it is.
The very important thing to bear in mind is are you happy 😊

I haven’t actually got a sea view either except in my head if you know what I mean 😉

Lathyrus Sat 17-Jun-23 13:19:41

Actually the boom boom of the bass beat from a neighbour two roads over is bad enough. I don’t know what I’d do if I lived next door to it. At least I can shut my windows.

AreWeThereYet Sat 17-Jun-23 13:19:31

Some people are just snobby 'Hyacinth Bucket' types.

We don't want to live in a semi again, for the same reasons already stated by others - the noise from next door nearly drove us crazy. They were lovely people in general, our lifestyles just clashed. We were 'up early to commute to work' people, they were 'partying late into the night and working shifts' people. Nothing wrong with a semi or terrace if you can guarantee the neighbours are people you can live happily alongside. My DM won't live anywhere but a terrace, she likes people all around her.

Grannynannywanny Sat 17-Jun-23 13:19:28

I remember 20 odd years ago when my daughter and Sil were buying their first home together, a new build, they were undecided between semi and detached. Then they looked at the floor plans for both houses next door to each other. Every room including the bathroom was considerably smaller in the detached for £45k more. They decided on the semi as they could see no advantage in paying extra with smaller rooms just to be detached.

eazybee Sat 17-Jun-23 13:18:40

It depends on the neighbours and being detached does offer a part sound barrier, although not in the garden.

Kate1949 Sat 17-Jun-23 13:16:49

We've been in our three bedroomed semi detached house (no garage shock horror) for 42 years. No one has ever asked if we would like to be 'detached'. I've never thought about it. I do sympathise NotSpaghetti as in our last house (also a semi) we had terrible neighbours but no problems here 🤞. I have a friend who moved from here to the coast. She lives in a large detached house and her neighbours are horrendous so it's not always a solution.

Lathyrus Sat 17-Jun-23 13:16:15

I lived in a 1930s semi. The sound proofing was not good. We both knew everything the other was doing.

After one particularly frantic day with three under-fours I said to my husband

“I’m so glad we don’t live next door to us!”

Riverwalk Sat 17-Jun-23 13:11:37

I don't know what you mean by a 'curse of the South East'.

I live in London and would be flabbergasted if anyone I know bought a detached house these days, unless it was in the outer suburbs.

NotSpaghetti Sat 17-Jun-23 13:07:25

I want to be detached... I would never buy an "attached" house again.

This is not snobbery - it's the PTSD-like after-effects of having one set of truly dreadful neighbours.
I kid you not.
The worst few years! I wouldn't wish them on anyone.

Freya5 Sat 17-Jun-23 13:04:29

I've only ever lived in one detached house, during service life. Since then semi, or my last two, old terrace,now new terrace. Never had any problems until 6 months ago, new neighbours either side think it's OK to bang and clatter around their house at early hours, continously disturbing my sleep. So yes can now see why detached is preferable. If I could pick my house up and move it to be detached I would.

mantaray Sat 17-Jun-23 13:01:09

I know it might seem an odd post to some people, but I've twice in the last month been asked if we ever wanted to be detached. I'm glad that no-one else has experienced this kind of snobbery. I think it's as my friend said, a curse of the South East.