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House and home

Have we lost the ability to make our homes comfortable and cosy?

(250 Posts)
M0nica Wed 23-Aug-23 17:31:09

As we are beginning to think of downsizing and moving closer to our children, I have inevitably been browsing Rightmove looking at areas, properties etc to try and refine exactly where we may want to go and what we want to live in.

Without going into detail, our price range, in most areas can roughly be described as 4/5 bedroomed house on new estate. Except we want old and towncentre.

Anyway browsing house details, the thing that strikes me most is how unhomely uncosy and at times, downright uncomfortable and depressing so many of them look.

It doesn't matter whether the house is brand new or three hundred years old, the interior is most likely to be painted grey, the furnitutre will be grey, the kitchen will be black and white. Older houses will be stripped of all their period features and have ceiling with inset lights. They all look as if nobody lives in them and could ever want to live in them.

In the past, say 10 years ago, houses would have different styles of furnishing from high modern to cottage cosy, but all would lookm comfortable so that you could imagine yourself living in the house. Now the interiors are so inhospitable, they put you off wanting to go any further, because the first thing you do is start calculating how much it will cost you to get the house completely redecorated, recarpetted and curtained, before you even move in.

Cossy Fri 25-Aug-23 17:24:34

I live in a three storey Edwardian terrace, just had kitchen/utility room redone and yes it’s grey units and lovely shiny black granite counters, but it’s full of my stuff too, fridge magnets, cookery books, our living room still has open fire and old fireplace as does our tiny dining room, I don’t do “chintz” or clutter but also don’t like stark and cold, our home is an eclectic mix of old and new and is cosy and comfy Good luck in your search smile

Cossy Fri 25-Aug-23 17:32:53

PS I too am a RM junky ! Drives DH mad grin

Gundy Fri 25-Aug-23 17:41:35

Monica - I know what you mean. And I also knew exactly what I meant when I responded. I think you failed to understand what I meant - it’s called “taste.”

Some people have it and some don’t. It’s reflected in home furnishings, clothing and more.

Gundy Fri 25-Aug-23 17:47:01

I also forgot to include Fung Shui in my post above. That means a lot to people on how they furnish homes.

Anyone can make a living space to their specifications - it will be their “castle”, whether anyone likes it or not.

Aveline Fri 25-Aug-23 17:52:32

When redecorating our flat prior to moving in I particularly wanted 'mmmm' factor rather than 'wow' factor. Hygge I suppose.

M0nica Fri 25-Aug-23 19:15:23

No, Gundy, it isn't taste. The most tasteless or grungy room is capable of having that visually welcoming comfortable feel when you walk in. Its the feel that means you can instinctively see people in the room using it.

Nannashirlz Fri 25-Aug-23 19:16:34

I’ve just moved to be closer to one of my sons and it’s took me nearly 3yrs to find a place but I found looking in person than online give me a feel of a place mine is an old police house

Lomo123 Fri 25-Aug-23 20:01:46

@susieq.Love that wallpaper. Quite fancy something like that colour range for dining room.

M0nica Fri 25-Aug-23 20:31:10

Aveline that is exactly what I am talking about, in otherwords, cosy.

Callistemon21 Fri 25-Aug-23 20:34:02

Well, ours feels quite cosy and Hygge without any wallpaper.

Staceyann Fri 25-Aug-23 21:19:00

M0nica

No, Gundy, it isn't taste. The most tasteless or grungy room is capable of having that visually welcoming comfortable feel when you walk in. Its the feel that means you can instinctively see people in the room using it.

Like others, I don’t understand what you mean either, MOnica. If a room is ‘tasteless or grungy’, it would be unlikely to be visually welcoming and comfortable?

Aveline Fri 25-Aug-23 21:30:43

Some of the nicest happiest homes I've been in have been pretty 'tasteless and grungy.' They look lived in by cheerful happy people rather than the echoing soulless grey boxes that seem so common these days. People with character are not afraid to express it in ways that others might find tasteless.

M0nica Fri 25-Aug-23 21:44:57

Way up this thread someone posted a picture of a living room of someone, probably born in the 192os, photographed in the early years of this century. It was very old fashioned anduntidy and had the last of the Christmas decorations up, but I could instantly see the family sitting there enjoying Christmas, enjoying each others company and where a guest would be welcome. Despite the old tired furnishings, in a style I have nevert admired

It is very difficult to clearly define what i mean because any style of house can have that feeling that you can see living people in it and every style can, in another house, feel like a stage set.

The French know what I mean. It was in French house magazines I read about the 'style anglais', and they are right, French homes rarely have that certain something that used to make most British homes look so welcoming and comfortable.

Sara1954 Fri 25-Aug-23 21:52:39

I don’t like the term ‘bad taste’
Who is to judge if one persons taste is inferior to their own?
It’s snobbish and condescending, I dislike grey very much, but I don’t think it’s in bad taste, just different taste.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 25-Aug-23 22:04:06

That room was I believe from the 1950s, when I was a child, certainly not the early years of this century. If that room were photographed for RM today the decorations, presents and food on the table would all have been cleared away, leaving a drab and uninviting small room which, however decorated and furnished, will always be a cramped little room. People tend not to huddle round the fire now that we have central heating. That was how we lived when I was a child. It seems your idea of homely is small, old fashioned, cluttered rooms. You’re unlikely to find them on RM. People have moved on.

paddyann54 Fri 25-Aug-23 23:01:40

I'm minimalist,you wont find ornaments in my house and cd's and books are cleverly hidden from view,not easy as I have around 2000 cd's and hundreds of books.I prefer a clean look with no clutter,always have,possibly growing up with a mother who was excessively houseproud started it,then a very busy life where dusting ornaments would have used valuable time wasn't an option.
My home is clean and bright and welcoming,wooden floors because we have cats...with long white hair and wooden floors are easier to keep hair and cat smell free .We have a lot of bright colours on walls and when my neice from Canada arrived she was very taken with our style...she's an interior designer.
To be honest I dont really care what others think of it,we live in it and it suits us .I couldn't live with clutter or in dark rooms I find that very depressing .I dont like old things in general so I'd guess you wouldn't like my home .The thing about houses is you make them the way you want ,how they look when you buy them is irrelevant,put your own stamp on it and have it as "cosy" as you want .We've completely changed every house we've bought ,taken down walls replaced kitchens and bathrooms and redecorated and have continued changing them on a regular basis .I'm sure if you just find a layout that suits you can easily make it your own

Callistemon21 Fri 25-Aug-23 23:09:02

To be honest I dont really care what others think of it,we live in it and it suits us
👏👏👏

Yes, I do have some old ornaments and someone once said "Eeeh, I wouldn't have fetched them with me, I'd have chucked them out and bought new".
Thanks, but they are treasured!

So no, I don't care what others think about it, they don't live here and I'd be taking them with me if I moved 😃

M0nica Sat 26-Aug-23 07:46:25

GSM the 1920s referred to when the owners were born, not when the style was current, which, as you say was 1950s. but I suspect photgraphed after the owners died when the house was being sold.

One of the things I have not done on this thread is say anything about my preference in decor because, as I keep saying, style is irrelevant, while I find viewing endless grey interiors really boring, the thing I find lacking from almost all the houses I have viewed is a sense of comfort, the sense that this is a house that people live in, not just a shop window display or a stage set.

Woollywoman Sat 26-Aug-23 08:22:27

We moved house in May after a long search. We viewed about 25 properties. It’s a complicated, stressful game trying to find the right property. When you start viewing houses, you realise how different it is from viewing houses on Rightmove. Hope that helps in some small way…

Doodledog Sat 26-Aug-23 08:32:41

M0nica, what do you think gives that sense of comfort if it’s not about the decor, the furnishings or the style of house?

I am really struggling to understand what is left.

Aveline Sat 26-Aug-23 09:03:36

I think it's a combination of things Doodledog. Something about there being evidence of people living there, using this furniture, having all sorts of objects that indicate their interests etc.
I remember reading that in Victorian times ladies used to leave a book open or a piece of needlework as if just put down in case visitors arrived and thought them idle!

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 26-Aug-23 09:28:25

I’m struggling too Doodledog. That room was not photographed after the owners died when it was being sold! The 1950s Christmas decorations are up, the Christmas presents litter the room and there is food on the table! It’s a picture of a typical small living room at Christmas in the 1950s. Take away the decorations, presents and food and what remains appealing to us today, apart from nostalgia?

Staceyann Sat 26-Aug-23 09:48:46

My eldest daughter and SIL have moved house several times in the past few years, because of their work. My D is very good at ‘dressing’ the house when they come to sell. They like a modern, clean look, although their houses have, all but one, been old houses. When they have viewings, she puts vases of flowers around, and things like a folded throw over the back of the settees. She puts out a few books on the coffee table. The estate agents photos always look very inviting. They have sold quickly each time.

Farzanah Sat 26-Aug-23 10:53:20

Having moved at least 12 times over the years, I can’t help thinking what superficial things that buyers seem to be swayed by, especially wall colours and decor. I find it easy to prepare a house to sell, it’s like a stage set but it’s not reality.

I still maintain location is the most important. However right a house “feels” when you walk in if you are in the wrong spot it won’t work long term.

Sara1954 Sat 26-Aug-23 11:17:57

Farzanah, I’m not sure I agree. I’m not keen on the village we live in, we bought this house twenty years ago to be nearer to one of our children’s schools, our intention was to stay here for four years, and then move again.
I would love to pick up this house and move it, but every time we consider moving, we decide we would have a lot of difficulty finding one we like as much as this one.