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House and home

Have we lost the ability to make our homes comfortable and cosy?

(250 Posts)
M0nica Wed 23-Aug-23 17:31:09

As we are beginning to think of downsizing and moving closer to our children, I have inevitably been browsing Rightmove looking at areas, properties etc to try and refine exactly where we may want to go and what we want to live in.

Without going into detail, our price range, in most areas can roughly be described as 4/5 bedroomed house on new estate. Except we want old and towncentre.

Anyway browsing house details, the thing that strikes me most is how unhomely uncosy and at times, downright uncomfortable and depressing so many of them look.

It doesn't matter whether the house is brand new or three hundred years old, the interior is most likely to be painted grey, the furnitutre will be grey, the kitchen will be black and white. Older houses will be stripped of all their period features and have ceiling with inset lights. They all look as if nobody lives in them and could ever want to live in them.

In the past, say 10 years ago, houses would have different styles of furnishing from high modern to cottage cosy, but all would lookm comfortable so that you could imagine yourself living in the house. Now the interiors are so inhospitable, they put you off wanting to go any further, because the first thing you do is start calculating how much it will cost you to get the house completely redecorated, recarpetted and curtained, before you even move in.

ComeOnGran Fri 25-Aug-23 11:58:25

I’m looking at houses too and agree absolutely. So much grey carpet!

Bugbabe2019 Fri 25-Aug-23 12:06:37

People are too afraid to be themselves and worry what others think.
My house is old Victorian and is cosy and comfy
My DD is just biting her first home and am I am glad to say she is also going the comfy cosy route. White walls but then add lots of colours into the mix

Kim19 Fri 25-Aug-23 12:30:25

ChocLG, how I agree with you about the SGG film. I loved that house too. Actually watched the film only yesterday. Amazing!

undines Fri 25-Aug-23 12:33:31

Grey's the thing - hate it but at least it shows off vibrant colours such as crimson, emerald, and fuchsia. It will change. We have thousands of books and yes, a few ornaments, and a woodburner stove. I would like it more streamlined but we don't want to get rid of our things. Four dogs mean our wooden flooring is a 'must'. No grey anywhere except on my husband's head! It's okay, not wonderful, but I feel fortunate to have a four bed detached house with no mortgage, and enough money to heat it!

Susieq62 Fri 25-Aug-23 12:50:24

We have a newish house and just decorated our lounge! Happy with this cosy corner

Marg75 Fri 25-Aug-23 12:57:49

I agree with MOnica, so much grey and black, also minimalist. A friend of mine just had a new bathroom and it looks identical to the hotel bathroom we had recently! No character and completely bland.

Frogs Fri 25-Aug-23 12:58:50

The house we bought four years ago was very ‘minimalistic’ on Rightmove and when viewing - no clutter, no photos, no bedside tables, nothing out on the kitchen worktop, TVs on the wall. Absolutely nothing out even though they had two teenage sons and young grandchildren who visited. Found out after they’d stripped the house to the bare essentials and put everything else in storage when they put the house up for sale.
My son disclosed to me me that his wife had said she didn’t like the look of the house as it looked cold and unhomely. I told him not to worry as we’d soon mess it up………… now they all want to come to ours for family get togethers and sadly as predicted we have messed the house up 😐(but we love living here)

62Granny Fri 25-Aug-23 13:07:31

I love looking at the selling sites and see a variety of houses on sale, you often see older houses that haven't been touched in year s but obviously still have the features you may be looking for unfortunately they are also the ones that often need new bathrooms , kitchens and flooring throughout if you are willing to do those things then lower your price range and keep your search area, don't forget look the soulless houses as a blank canvas that you inject your personality into . I always think the house will fit you like a good pair of shoes and tug at your heart.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 25-Aug-23 14:18:50

There is no accountig for taste, is there?

The houses you have seen would not suit me either, but there is nothing new in the trend. I remember it clearly from the late 1950s, when my parents had all the panelled doors in our 90 year old house covered with hardboard painted pale yellow as "it was easier to clean",

Their friends lowered ceilings, boarded up fireplaces etc. in their attempts to modernise old houses.

Then in the 1980s restoring period features became fashionable and now, we seem to be back to ripping them out again.

IMO grey is infinitely preferable to white paint everywhere on both walls and wood-work.

sunglow12 Fri 25-Aug-23 14:36:20

We live on a near town centre 3 floor Victorian Town House . It’s hard work , expensive to maintain and chipped round the edges but it is colourful garden and interior anx certainly quirky to the point that some friends think they are back in the 50’s they say and comfy anx we love it even tho getting on a bit .

PinkCosmos Fri 25-Aug-23 14:52:49

I have never liked the grey interiors. I think the UK is too grey already!

Our house has a mix of old and new furniture, plain walls and colourful rugs and cushions etc. Meanwhile our friends, who have recently renovated, have gone for grey, grey and more grey. It looks so unwelcoming. It wouldn't be too bad if they had some nice lamps to create a bit of atmosphere but it is mainly spotlights.

My DH and partner had a colourful home. When they were selling they painted all the walls off white to make it more appealing to buyers.

We have moved several times. I never pay attention to the colour schemes and furniture as they are things that you can change. I look at the room sizes and the potential.

When I was first married in the early 1980's I wanted a white bathroom suite. It was like finding hen's teeth. They were all chocolate brown, burgundy etc. I did eventually find one. Nowadays white seems to be the only colour you can get. Though saying that, I saw a lovely sky blue (new) suite in a magazine recently. It was gorgeous.

M0nica Fri 25-Aug-23 14:59:53

As I said before, it is not so much that the interiors of so many houses are so dull, but what seems to have escaped so many of the houses, regardless of decor, is that feature, long seen as the defining virtue of British decor, that our houses, especially our living rooms, regardless of style, were visually comfortable and welcoming.

Very few of the houses I have viewed have had that feature. They look like furniture showrooms, not even like hotels, which, while impersonal, are designed to look welcoming and comfortable. These houses are neither.

oodles Fri 25-Aug-23 15:00:12

It's silly isn't it, people strip their houses and sometimes decorate so their walls are a fashionable colour because estate agents say that's the way to sell
A friend last year trying to sell her lovely house had to put away all her family photos, ornaments, anything that gave the house some individuality. I agree that you should declutter, make the best of what's there but having to strip the house and live with it for the months it takes to exchange contracts is daft.
I personally like to see what a house is like for living on
When I had to replace stair,landing and bedroom carpets, the choice of reasonable quality was limited. I went for a light ish grey and as yes it went with the different colours of the walls and soft furnishings. Any grey I have is silver gray not battleship or office furniture grey.
Having watched homes under the hammer during lockdown and thought how I used to have that decor and style I wanted to have as little as possible that would scream lockdown chic !

Aveline Fri 25-Aug-23 15:11:34

I was di happy to read this thread. I couldn't agree more. I love warm colours, wood, cosiness generally. Those white kitchens like laboratories give me the heeby jeebies! Stepford homes!

Aveline Fri 25-Aug-23 15:11:47

So happy!

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 25-Aug-23 15:13:59

Recently I saw a beautiful old house on RM, listed, lovely heavy timbers and inglenook fireplaces, good layout - but just about every wall and ceiling was painted in deep grey and shades of mauve. The carpets were mauve too. There was a deep plum coloured modern freestanding bath and the bathroom had deep plum coloured tiles on the walls. It all looked so gloomy, despite good sized windows. I immediately totted up the cost of a complete interior redecoration - I could see how it would look with creamy white walls and ceilings- and replacing the carpets but decided against it for other reasons. The sellers had obviously ignored whatever advice the agent had given.

Gundy Fri 25-Aug-23 15:18:45

MOnica - maybe be you’re not using your visionary powers. Some people have it and some don’t. If you cannot see past the the gray and black/white with your own colors and furnishings and textiles… wellll, can’t help you then.

Most important thing to look for - does the house have good structural “bones”, flow, windows (which are an astronomical replacement.)

And yes, seems like past owners leave all the very costly upgrades to new owners. 🫤
Keep looking!
USA Gundy

Casdon Fri 25-Aug-23 15:31:48

I suppose on the whole it’s not our generation that people are trying to sell their houses to. It’s clear from this thread that there are as many different tastes as there are different people. I’m sure in time you’ll find something which suits you perfectly Monica, it’s out there somewhere.

Doodledog Fri 25-Aug-23 15:50:11

I think you're right, Casdon. We bought this house 25 years ago from an old lady and it was very old-fashioned when we looked around. We 'did it up' and modernised it, so briefly it was fashionable in mid-late 90s style, but like we have it has got older since then.

We decorated downstairs last year, and the bedrooms are due to be decorated before Christmas. I am looking ahead to replacing the kitchen sometime soon, but the truth is that even after that, although it will look less dated than it did, I don't think anyone would mistake it for a young person's house - too many books for a start!

It's a family house, so when the time comes for us to leave I expect we'll sell it to a young family like we were when we bought it, and they will change everything in line with whatever is fashionable at the time. It's the circle of life, isn't it?

M0nica Fri 25-Aug-23 16:31:16

Gundy, like so many on this thread you misunderstand the point I am making. Some houses you walk into, they could be painted all grey, all white, or like a rainbow, and furnished to match but from the moment you walk in they feel welcoming and comfortable, it used to be a distinguishing feature of British home decor, as seen from abroad.

It is that element that has disappeared from the houses I am viewing online. Now and again it is there. I looked at a house online yesterday, the interior decor was not to my taste at all, but the rooms all had that welcoming, 'something', lacking in so many others. A look at the floor plan and room sizes soon showed it was not what we are looking for, But at least it looked like a house that wanted to be lived in.

We are serial home renovators, so house decor or presentation does not enter in to my consideration when deciding whether a house is what we are looking for or not. It is just that when looking at property online, to study the house, you have floor paln and photos and it is difficult to look at the photos, to analyse the house features, without seeing the furnishings in the room, and so often they look like stage or shop sets, rather than homes.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 25-Aug-23 16:46:08

I don’t really understand MOnica. In fact I don’t understand at all. You talk about how a house feels when you walk into it. You say that element has disappeared from the homes you’re viewing online - but you’re not walking into them, even if the agent has posted a short video tour online. You say decor and presentation don’t enter into your decision making but then say it’s difficult to analyse the house’s features without seeing the furnishings and they often look like stage sets rather than homes. And you keep saying people don’t understand what you’re saying!

JudyBloom Fri 25-Aug-23 16:47:54

I like grey as a neutral and it is a good backdrop to adding accent colours in soft furnishings, pictures, plant pots, rugs etc

merlotgran Fri 25-Aug-23 16:51:27

JudyBloom

I like grey as a neutral and it is a good backdrop to adding accent colours in soft furnishings, pictures, plant pots, rugs etc

It’s a good background colour in the garden as well, showing off foliage and pale colours that would otherwise be insignificant.

Doodledog Fri 25-Aug-23 16:52:50

I agree with GSM grin.

It must be frustrating, M0nica, but I don't understand what you are getting at either.

Primrose53 Fri 25-Aug-23 17:03:28

I recently went to see my friend’s new house which she has had built and they hope to be in for Christmas. 4 years so far.

She is from the settled traveller community. It is massive on a huge piece of land overlooking woodland.

5 bedrooms all with ensuites and walk in wardrobes bigger than my spare bedroom! 3 storeys with wonderful hand carved handrails and banisters. Massive bathroom with the biggest bath I have ever seen, mirrored tiles, loads of lights etc.

Huge kitchen with island, a stunning orangery flooded with light from above and bifold doors, a dining room which unlike the rest of the house, she wants to look old fashioned, a beautiful lounge, downstairs shower room as you come in from garden.

Her bedroom has a large balcony with big patio doors.

She has massive chandeliers from Italy in several rooms. It’s all very high spec and beautifully decorated in whites and ……silvery grey! Every cupboard door and drawer has diamanté or mirrored handles.

I pulled her leg and told her it looks like Southfork Ranch on Dallas. 🤣

I love my house but it was built by someone else and they really didn’t think much about storage space so I do envy her that. At least getting your own built you can have exactly what you want.