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Is it really a good idea to move again?

(56 Posts)
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Extratime Tue 03-Jun-25 16:58:27

We downsized from a large detached house and garden in the country 4 years ago to a 2 bedroomed apartment in the suburbs with a perfect location close to shops, hospitals and doctors and on an excellent bus route. The problem is it’s too small!
DH cannot throw or give away anything and the living room is crammed with furniture and all the cupboards and wardrobes are full to bursting.
He wants to move to a house with a garage but in a different area. I am not happy with this as I have an active social life whereas DH barely goes out anywhere and spends most of his time surfing the internet.
This will be our 10th move and in the past I’ve always made the best of moving to a new area where I didn’t know anyone.

DH is not the most patient of people and every time we have moved it has been very traumatic as he gets into arguments with people and causes ill feeling.

The other problem is that the management fees are very high for the apartment and DH resents having to pay for facilities he doesn’t use.
We are in our early 70’s

Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

I have said that I’m willing to compromise and move within the area but DH says there are no properties suitable here
.
Perhaps this is more appropriate for the Relationships forum??

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Norah Fri 06-Jun-25 17:33:12

Extratime

Thank you all for your advice. It has been really useful and there have been some suggestions I hadn’t thought of.

Moving to a 3 bedroom apartment with a garage in this area seems the best option and compromise and less work for me than a house.

We’ve just had 3 estate agents around to give an evaluation and none of them have come close to what DH thinks our apartment is worth, so I think we shall be here for a while yet!

It does seem moving to a 3 bed with garage in your area, is a good idea, ticks all boxes. Perhaps use the evaluations as reasons to stay as you are for now. I'd not say anything more, just wait.

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Extratime Fri 06-Jun-25 18:52:45

One of the estate agents told my husband if he wanted to sell quickly then he needs to reduce his expectations!

I think that now he has had these evaluations he is reconsidering.

I have been looking at photos I took during our last move and the amount of boxes and furniture is horrifying. He says everything has a sentimental value to him and will come in useful one day when we move to a larger place!

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M0nica Fri 06-Jun-25 20:14:14

I think your DH has a hoarding problem and probably needs psychological help, which of course, I realise, is the last thing he would do.

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Milsa Sat 21-Jun-25 17:08:06

Can you give him one of the bedroom with sorting there all his possessions, his comfortable desk for his computer activities and you have the rest to declutter a bit and make it your own with less objects.

The only thing with the high maintenance fees: if they are too high, is like you are buying that thing twice. Is it worth it

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TerriBull Sat 21-Jun-25 17:18:01

The trouble is when things are kept in a "that'll be useful one day" invariably they aren't forgotten sometime down the line and never used, a legacy for the children to sort through after the parents demise. I remember my husband filling a skip with "useful things" when selling their late father's house, not a hoarder by any means, just part of the thrifty generation.

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