Gold Diggers

Penmana it's true that there are lots of nice, independent, friendly women out there - I believe single/divorced/widowed women outnumber men in the older generation. Unfortunately, many of them want to stay that way, having spent years being tied to men who wanted looking after. I know a few such women who are suspicious of older single men, too, believing that they want someone to look after them. It would be great if some women weren't looking for a provider and some men weren't looking for a substitute mother. (What a cynic I am, but love single life)

Hi tanith

I did not meet these women online.
I went to a support group at the hospice my wife passed away in and met them there. They were widowed.
Prior to moving in with my father I had a house which was slightly higher in value than my fathers house but I inherited my mothers half and we decided there was no point keeping 2 large houses for just 2 people.
We kept my fathers house as it suited our requirements better ( shops and public transport).
These women knew I owned a house prior to moving in with my father and thought I had a lot more money than I had in reality as a lot of the proceeds from the sale of my house went to help my daughters buy their first homes.
These women owned houses which are equivalent to the house I am in now.
My view is however the houses were built up through the work of my mother / father, my grandparents and my great grandparents so even though I own it I feel it has got to be passed to the next generation.
I did not contribute much to my father's / mother's house which I own now so it is not mine to give away.

I find it amazing and appalling that people actually go into a relationship with it in mind to badger someone into what you have described. I guess they thought they could change your mind about your estate and your thoughts on marriage.
By any chance were these women you met online?
I agree with the others that there are 'nice' women out there looking for companionship and friendship who are independant , I hope you find one and don't lose heart.

That is appalling! Meeting one like that is bad enough but two is beyond imagining. Try to go into future relationships with an open mind as I don't really believe there are many people like that.

PENMANA how perfectly horrible and demoralising. It certainly looks as if both of them had their eyes to the main chance right from the start. Presumably it was either obvious that you have a estate well worth inheriting or it was easy to find out. Neither of these women has shown much subtlety – in fact, they seem to have been hideously blatant – so did they also think you are stupid? I really don't believe that they are representative of women in general. I hope you meet a pleasant and independent female companion with whom you can share many joyous things, but who has no expectation of sharing your estate.

I find it very odd that either woman would even think about asking you to leave your estate to their children, PENMANA, especially as you have children of your own. Did they give a reason?
Not all women are money-grabbers - take heart, but be on your guard.

It's a scenario many people have to face, sadly. I would be very suspicious of anyone who didn't make it clear from the outset that they would look after their finances and didn't expect anything from you, especially for their own family.