selling my house

Hi Minder

You should not apologise for coming on the gransnet site for advice as that is one of it's major purposes.

My father passed away last year. My wife and mother passed away a few years ago within months of each other. Dad and myself discussed the situation and as I inherited my mother's half of their house we decided it was best if we lived in the same property.

Happily my father never went in to care but I did study the subject of care fees to some extent before joining Dad as I did not want to be left homeless if Dad had needed care.

Obviously I had time to look in to the legal situation but most people do not think about care until it affects them in some way.

I am still in my childhood home which is far too big for one person.
I am looking at options to downsize but I have not found anything I like yet but there is no rush.

Best wishes

Frank

Hi Frank,

Sorry, I haven't joined and run. I seem to have one thing after another at the moment.

I mentioned last week my Aunt was in hospital and her partner died whilst she was in there. We (my cousin and I) went up to Yorkshire on Friday and found that she is definitely homeless. He made a new will about 2 months ago and she is not mentioned at all. She has nothing. Having said that she does have a little money of her own thank goodness. She will probably be well enough to leave hospital about Friday of this week and then will have to go into a temporary bed in a nursing home until we can find her somewhere permanent. We would like her to come to Cambs as in Yorkshire she has no-one. She has diabetes and has daily injections and dementia so she couldn't go back to the house anyway unless she had a full time carer with her. In his last will he said she would be able to stay there for as long as she could and he left her money but this new will, she is not provided for in any way. He was a good man and cared for her for quite a few years but why he did this, we will never know.

She finally got it that her partner had died and we've had lots of tears but she is in a terrible state now asking where she will go. So heartbreaking.

Also I have the appointment tomorrow afternoon because my husband's Early Onset Unit is closing down in about 6/7 weeks so I have that to deal with too.

Best wishes,

Minder.

Oh dear* Minder* for some people it never rains but it pours. I have never had to deal with anything like you are doing at the present. My sincere sympathy to you. I hope you get help with all your problems soon.

Hi annsixty,

Thank you. x

Hi Minder

I do sympathise with your Aunts situation but partners can be a problem in old age when there are offspring involved.
I inherited half of my parents house and went to live with Dad after my wife passed away as a part legal owner.
My father got himself a lady friend and Dad told her I was on the land certificate and the house was willed to me.
Later and she wanted repairs and improvements done to the house.
I paid for some of them as they were needed but she then wanted a new bathroom and I decided this was best left till spring and Dad agreed.
She then got annoyed with me when I said that the bathroom will not be done immediately and she then wanted me to leave.
At that point I had spent over £50,000 on the house from the sale of my own property.
She also wanted me to take the dog with me. He belonged to Dad and myself.
Dad was in the room at the time and told her myself and the dog were not leaving and she stormed out.
She did have a house which was more modest than ours.
After about 2 months she contacted us about items she had supposed to have left in the house.
We searched everywhere and could not find any of them.
We had the new bathroom installed in June of the next year a little later than planned.

Frank

And the relevance is??

annsixty

The relevance is a lot of people sympathised with this woman as she had nothing like the money I have and I inherited all the house when Dad died and complained I should have given the house to her.
Nobody took account of the fact the house was legally mine and I had spent a lot of money on it.

Frank

The repetition of how you came into ownership of your home and how much you have spent on it is now becoming quite boring.

Glamma you're wrong! It's not ^quite* boring, it's VERY BORING!

Well - you don't have to read all Frank's posts, ladies!

If all these people just accepted the house was mine there would have been no problems.

Frank

Galen off to bed to read an interesting book

And me!
The telephone directory!

Minder. I have sent you a PM.

This thread was just asking for trouble!

Oh Minder I have just read all your posts and my heart goes out to you. As if you didn't have enough on your plate already. I hope you are not having to deal with everything on your own, but that your adult children can provide you with moral support and some solidarity.
Frank this is hardly the time to reiterate all the shenanigans about your house, your father's ex etc etc etc Minder has enough on her plate and while some practical advice might be welcome - I cannot imagine that repeating the old litany is of any comfort to her. Minder - thinking of you.

gracemum

I am only pointing out there is often 2 sides to a storey.
As you know a lot of people sympathised with that woman and nobody cared about me.

Frank

Thank you gracesmum.

I have my cousin to help me and also my other cousin and her hubby have flown over from Australia. We're going back up North today for the funeral and to see if Social Services have deigned to turn up at the second meeting arranged for yesterday. I couldn't be there as I had to come home to work.

My eldest son is working today and my youngest lives abroad but they are there for me on the internet and via text messages.

It will all get sorted, it always does.

Thank you everyone for all your messages.

Frank your repetition of your problems with your father's lady friend indicate that she caused a very deep wound. It must have been a very difficult for you to have lived with as it sounds as if she moved into the house with you both? She may have been very fond of your dad but she sounds a bit of a gold digger too and the way she has continued to stir up trouble rather than letting things go means the wounds cannot heal for either of you.

Perhaps downsizing sooner rather than later, preferably not just around the corner, would ease things. (Did your father leave her anything to remember him by)

Frankit always has to be about you doesn't it?
I don't think there are 2 sides to the sad situation Minder describes PLUS her own worries about her DH so how is banging on about your own situation - already more than adequately documented - showing any sort of sympathy or support?
And there's an S in my name.

NfkDumpling

You have not obviously seen the whole storey.
I will repeat it briefly possibly to the annoyance of other site users.
This lady befriended my father and was told at the start I was on the land certificate as a half owner of the house and the other half was willed to me.
I was living in the house as my wife passed away and I had early retirement in London. Dad and I thought it would be sensible if my house was not replaced as he was on his own in a large 4 bedroom detached property in Sutton Coldfield.
She never stayed overnight in the house. She owned her own more modest house.
Suddenly after about 18 months she demanded I left and took the dog with me.
Dad jumped in and said in very uncertain terms that was not going to happen and she walked out.
The only contact I had with her was Dad asked me to take some clothes back to her house. It was basically just a top and some trousers in case she spilt something down herself while at the house.
We heard nothing more for 3 years and Dad passed away.
The morning after his death she phoned and asked when will I be leaving the house and handing it over to her. I don't know how she found out Dad had died so quickly.
I think she was a popular person because for about 9 months I could not walk down the street without somebody approaching me and asking me when I was going to hand the house over.
This did gradually frizzle out and last week one of her friends told me she was in hospital but I was not going to contact her.
Later I was told she had died.
When I was walking down the street over the weekend one of her supporters said I should give her family £100,000 but there is no way I am doing that.
No Dad left her nothing in his will. They terminated their friendship 3 years before his death.
I don't know if her supporters understood the ownership situation re the house.

Frank

Yawn

NfkDumpling

I am not now intending to move.
Hopefully as she has now passed away I will hear nothing more.
I will not be attending the funeral even if I am invited.

Frank

Frank has provided some very valuable information on this thread. Can't you just be pleased about that, and remember that Frank is entitled to explain why he was forced to obtain all the information that he can now pass on on here.

jO8

Unfortunately people join Gransnet at different times and do not read every thread etc.
Unfortunately I have had to repeat myself a lot.
NfkDumpling obviously did not know the total situation re the house my parents left me or the fact she never moved in.
Sadly more people will join this site wanting advice on Care Home fees etc or disputed wills and I will have to repeat myself again and again

Frank